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What centers you? - 6/4/2007 6:43:54 PM   
sublimelysensual


Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		I like occasionally seeing non-arguable threads -laughs- and while I was reading some of the forums today for some reason I began to think about centering, what centers me, what might center someone else (be it s-type or Dominant) in their interactions. That thing or place which immediately banishes stresses, problems, and whatever else may be going on in your life, even if just temporarily.
 
For me, it's being at one's feet, literally kneeling, arms to each side of His legs, forehead pressed to His feet (preferably bare or booted), and just being, no need for words or movement. Immediately everything disappears except that moment in time. I'd never thought about it too much from a Dominant's perspective, so I'll be interested to hear from both sides...
 
-a

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"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." -Simone De Beauvoir -'The Second Sex'
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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 6:45:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Similarly, laying on the bed snuggled next to my partner.  Something we try to do daily, if not multiple times a day.

If I'm alone, a hot shower, masturbating, a dip in the pool or hot tub helps a lot, too.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_269109/mpage_1/key_masturbating/tm.htm#269111
calming behaviors

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 6/4/2007 6:47:39 PM >

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 6:49:24 PM   
JennyWench


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		Honestly, it's doing the crossword puzzle.

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 6:51:15 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Water centers me, preferably being immersed but a hot shower will do in a pinch.
Reading centers me, especially an old favorite. I like the Heinlein juvenile fiction and some of Piers Anthony's books, in particular, as old favorites.
Kissing his feet centers me, as does rubbing his feet.
Giving massage centers me more deeply than almost any activity I've ever found.
Yoga centers me.
Watching a fishtank centers me if I'm not having twitchy inability to sit still.
Watching my child sleep centers me.
~E

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'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 6:52:25 PM   
nearnyccouple


Posts: 70
Joined: 3/22/2007
Status: offline 		if we are not together (we're both at work for example), just the sound of his voice can bring calm to the chaos im feeling.  when we're at home, either sitting at his feet, my head on his lap, or just looking into his eyes changes the upside down feeling into one of peace.
cassie

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 6:52:33 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Walking and taking photos centers me.
The parks in the area here are wonderful for it, and I have quite the photo library becasue of it.

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 7:10:38 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Centers me...a really good pain vs. pleasure scene.  I can let go of a migraine, a back ache, a bad day, turmoil, anger, frustration, commotion, anything and everything.  Everything negative leaves my body when I begin to concentrate only on my partner and what I am engaging in with him.  It is beautiful, loving, relaxing, restful, centering, calming, and releasing. 

This is not to say I take my frustrations out on my lovely Robert.  He is not a whipping post for me to abuse because I can't whip my boss or the bad driver in front of me.  I release this way, not "take out".

I can not think of anything "vanilla" based that does this for me.  Not quiet time, not getting my nails done, not playing with my UM's, not walking, not eating chocolate....nope.

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 7:19:32 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
Breathing.

Sitting on my balcony and gazing out over the ocean.

Sleeping.

Enjoying the silence.

One that is probably difficult for others to understand is after a hard fight and I am lying on the mat, sweat pouring into my eyes, out of breath, etc., is the feeling of the mat under me, the breathing, giving the female instructor the signal that I am ok.  Allows me the space and time I need to recover for another fight.

There are many things which center me.

Sinergy

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 7:22:12 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		Monotonous chores center me, they let me be active without really having to thing about what I'm doing.
 
There's this perfect time in the morning, and it doesn't happen every morning, but I hit the snooze and enjoy a few more minutes with Daddy...that's centering for me and very precious.
 
Meditating, is my tried and true method when nothing else will work. And, I've found that the more often I meditate, the easier it is to become centered. I do this especially before scenes or if I know I'm going to have a rough day at work.
 
Really, though, I've found that it's best when I feel myself becoming unbalanced to take a deep breath, at that moment, and figure out what I'm doing wrong. That's more calming for me then trying to center myself after something has thrown me off kilter.

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 7:23:20 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I am generally never much off center..but if a bad day occurs, then usually time takes care of it and I am back to my usual even keeled self....but music or reading distracts me as time passes...Tempting

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 7:25:37 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		An afterthought, stemming from a conversation I just had. My boys center me as well. Snuggling, being there for them and them for me, and just holding them is very centering. If they cant be physuically around, calling Angel always works. The walking outdors and the photos are fo whem I am on my own. Whe i dont have to be, they are a great help.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 7:27:15 PM   
YourShyPet


Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		When I'm with Daddy....laying my head on his shoulder, and closing my eyes while he pets my back... doesn't matter what happened during the last week or two weeks .... or how wound up I am... everything just melts away.

When I'm alone.... Yoga... ya I know sounds corny.... but it works for me... even if I only have a few moment to get into a postion.... hold it.... and take a few deep cleansing breaths... it almost always helps me refocus on what I need to do.

kittin

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 7:30:41 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline 		Smelling my owner pretty much calms me instantly.  Or him choking me with his bare hands while I kneel at his feet, no sexual stimulation or any distractions... just him deciding when I can breathe and me just all stupid and happy like a lamb.

Before I had braids, him pulling my hair would do it also.

C~

Edited to add: non BDSM/Ms/Owner specific stuff that centers me are: meditating, working out at the gym, playing the violin, and cooking.


< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 6/4/2007 7:31:39 PM >

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 7:33:52 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		A daily spiritual practice centers me.

Driving centers me

i have a favorite park with a grassy trail through the woods i go to and walk

relaxing in a hot bath

Watching a re run of an old show which makes me feel a comfortable feeling of being at home.

Reading

Spending time with my little angel - she brings me back down to reality and makes me realize all the really important things in life

laying in my hammock and just relaxing

writing

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 7:40:17 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Thinking of him.  Smelling him.  Hearing him.  Feeling him.  Meditating on him.....get the running theme here?  :)

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 7:54:36 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		with Daddy: caressing His collar around my neck, reading His love letters and notes, hearing His voice, listening to the MP3s He sends me

and with my secondary since he's away on business, it's his daily emails and phone calls ...and the promise of coming home soon


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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 8:03:20 PM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		Aside from my loved ones, who just as often vex me, creating something with my own hands, or simply doing aa job with obvious end results. Especially when hard physical labor is involved.
Joseff

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 8:35:48 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		yep, me too, being in the "creative mode" keeps me from losing it on a daily basis, making something with my hands, especially.

of course, it's no substitute for the sound of his voice, or my head on his shoulder, or lying in his lap.

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"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 8:43:23 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		Lifestyle wise ~ a great partner, cuddling, playing, being in that 'headspace' its amazing what it does.

When alone ~ writing, reading, yoga, meditation, celtic music.

With my munchkin ~ anything; he IS my center, where I relax and how I focus, at the end of a bad day those words, 'I love you mommy' bring me back to center, each and every time.

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"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

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RE: What centers you? - 6/4/2007 8:47:15 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		There is the shamanic style, which includes the external stimuli you speak of. Then there is the meditative style, which includes the exercise of self will to still the mind, and then center the energy of the heart. One who learns the latter skill does not depend upon any external object, and can invoke the experience at will.

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