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If you have NO experience, why would you claim to have vast amounts...and more importantly, why would you give advice?

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ORIGINAL: livenlearn

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

If you have NO experience, why would you claim to have vast amounts...and more importantly, why would you give advice? Don't people realize that what they say can have a great impact on others? Don't they also realize that no matter how many chat rooms they have been in or no matter how many books they have read....the truth usually reveals itself in the end. This really is a pretty small community when you get right down to it.

Ugh!

I am actually going to say that what you have said here is the best piece of advice I have seen yet. I, personally, have no  experience, neither does my boyfriend. We have gone to a couple munches, some clubs, etc, lurked around some websites...all with the intention of trying to discover whether or not we want to go forward and take the next step in our curiosity. I will be honest; in the past two years that we have been talking with others; it has left a bad taste in my mouth trying to decipher what is good advice and what is bad.
 
/shakes head
 

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ORIGINAL: domiguy
You just hope that you have enough common sense to avoid the fakes, wannabe trolls....But then again someone's fake might be another person's mentor...Guess it all comes down to the ability to use sound judgement.

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ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

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ORIGINAL: domiguy
You just hope that you have enough common sense to avoid the fakes, wannabe trolls....But then again someone's fake might be another person's mentor...Guess it all comes down to the ability to use sound judgement.

As erin pointed out in another thread that common sence is subjective. I'm saddened by the LACK of common sence, yet, many preach AGAINST it.

One cannot agree that common sence is necessary or around in one thread then bash it in another.

Isn't judgement subjective?


{goes back to linguistics books. its gonna be a freakin long night}

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ORIGINAL: LadyIce

I would also state that anyone can have an "opinion" on things.
There is a big difference between advice that is specific and general conversation.
The majority of the threads or questions on this board are not that detailed, that you
need years of experience to comment.
Even though I have limited experience, I often disagree with the people here with years
of experience on certain things.
Most of the situations here can be settled by common sense, and I am not sure where
experience would play into THAT.

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theTammyjo
Makes me curious.

How exactly does one verify that any of us has any experience outside of typing on this board?

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ORIGINAL: LadyIce

I would also state that anyone can have an "opinion" on things.
There is a big difference between advice that is specific and general conversation.
The majority of the threads or questions on this board are not that detailed, that you
need years of experience to comment.
Even though I have limited experience, I often disagree with the people here with years
of experience on certain things.
Most of the situations here can be settled by common sense, and I am not sure where
experience would play into THAT.
LadyIce,
This is exactly what I was thinking.  "Years of experience" doesn't necessarily make someone any wiser than the rest of us.  Now if someone spent ten years perfecting the use of a bullwhip - sure, he/she knows way more than I do  - about THAT subject.  But simply having lived and circulated within the "lifestyle"circles doesn't make an individual necessarily any wiser than a "newbie." 
 
That's one of the biggest falsehoods circulating, in my opinion.  Just because someone is new to discovering BDSM doesn't necessarily mean he/she is gullible and easily dazzled or led astray.  PERHAPS they are, but perhaps also is someone who's been at it for years.  To me, the only time experience equates to knowledge is when someone has been studying or perfecting something over those years.  Many people tend to assume that we grow older and wiser yet many only grow older.  "Newbie" or one who's been around the block a few times, you either have common senSe or you don't

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

Domiguy struts out wearing his "mentor" ballcap......And a tshirt that reads..."Will mentor for pussy."

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ORIGINAL: domiguy
I think that over time people can get a feel for which posters are sincere and are not full of shit....I would think that many who have a question would think that a sincere answer from you would carry some relevance that should be weighed....
I absolutely agree, Domiguy.  Anyone who reads/posts on these forums regularly should be able to see when others post sincere and thoughtful answers that obviously come from a basis of good sense and some knowledge of what they are speaking about.  For me, the biggest factor in considering whether someone is "for real" or not - and by that I DON'T MEAN a "real" or "twue" anything, I mean being HONEST in their posts - is whether or not the stories they tell are consistent. 
 
No matter what one's approach is, when they write posts about themselves, their SO's, their relationships and experiences, etc., if the facts aren't consistent throughout, I get the sneaking suspicion they're full of BS.  I have read posts from those who basically just tend to get their "facts" a bit tangled.  They wholeheartedly profess that things are a particular way with them and then later slip-up and let it show that they may not be exactly true. 
 
Just recently, I noted some glaring inconsistencies in a particular slave's stories and when I asked sincere, probing questions in a respectful way, they were blatantly ignored.  Mind you, this person chose to converse with me and bring the issues up.  Then, when I noted some things that just didn't add up and politely inquired about them (even though I think most of what she says is clearly a delusion), she simply ignored them and went off to continue to post more of her nonsense which no one else ever seems to question in the least.  Does she have the right to lie and make up all she wants?  Sure.  Does she have the right to post it and have it taken at face value and as truth by those who read it?  Of course.  Just pardon me if I no longer believe a word she writes.  Such inconsistencies in one's posts and then refusal to address them indicates to me that the person is lying in some way, shape, or form and my time is too valuable to sit around debating them about their "imaginary" slavehood.
 
I agree 110% that we, as readers of others' posts, must use the common sense that we (hopefully) have and just dismiss those who would speak of having lots of relevant experience but yet show otherwise by the contradictions in their posts.  As they say, the internet is like the bathroom wall.  You can write whatever you want on it - that doesn't make it true.  As TammyJo said, how do we know that ANYONE is telling the truth?  Well, unless we know them personally, of course we do not.  But I think when someone consistently posts and consistently tells the same story and seems well-grounded in reality, that CAN be a clue that perhaps they are who they represent themselves as.  Just an opinion...........slave luci

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And finally, while there are many who give advice they are not qualified to give, how fun it is to be superior and bash away.  Indeed posting on this thread about those awful clueless advice givers surely indicates that those who post are SUPERIOR.  Because, of course, those who point out how awful the newbies and wannabies and hunnybies of the world are are so clearly superior that the advice they give must be gold! 
 

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyIce

I would also state that anyone can have an "opinion" on things.
There is a big difference between advice that is specific and general conversation.
The majority of the threads or questions on this board are not that detailed, that you
need years of experience to comment.
Even though I have limited experience, I often disagree with the people here with years
of experience on certain things.
Most of the situations here can be settled by common sense, and I am not sure where
experience would play into THAT.
LadyIce,
This is exactly what I was thinking.  "Years of experience" doesn't necessarily make someone any wiser than the rest of us.  Now if someone spent ten years perfecting the use of a bullwhip - sure, he/she knows way more than I do  - about THAT subject.  But simply having lived and circulated within the "lifestyle"circles doesn't make an individual necessarily any wiser than a "newbie." 
 
That's one of the biggest falsehoods circulating, in my opinion.  Just because someone is new to discovering BDSM doesn't necessarily mean he/she is gullible and easily dazzled or led astray.  PERHAPS they are, but perhaps also is someone who's been at it for years.  To me, the only time experience equates to knowledge is when someone has been studying or perfecting something over those years.  Many people tend to assume that we grow older and wiser yet many only grow older.  "Newbie" or one who's been around the block a few times, you either have common senSe or you don't

to show me a trick or two.*

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r