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RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 11:16:53 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Then there's also the section of people who think that saying no/denial equals being dominant.

saying no does not equal being to dominant, however it's useful to say no/deny to keep from being taken advantaged off, controlled, or otherwise manipulated. I think everybody who's been out at clubs or bars, have seen the woman that take advantage of the men around the joint to know what I'm talking about here. Geeesssh... The fun and game at these places.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 41

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 11:38:34 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I seek the one that can command without speaking. Can that be a reality?

Not only is it a reality, but a necessity in a dominant being. If you do not contain the real thing you are little more than flashy packaging. Those who pretend dominance without building or naturally having the right tools within them are vulnerable to the clever and underhanded.

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 42

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 11:43:02 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I seek the one that can command without speaking. Can that be a reality?

Not only is it a reality, but a necessity in a dominant being. If you do not contain the real thing you are little more than flashy packaging. Those who pretend dominance without building or naturally having the right tools within them are vulnerable to the clever and underhanded.

I can do a David Blaine type levitation. I'm for real and I don't need words.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 43

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 12:35:59 PM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
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I am not a mind reader and i don't expect anyone else to be either. I feel like good verbal communication is important, and i try hard to practice it.

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 44

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 1:47:05 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I spoke with someone not to long ago that thought commands =Dom . I laughed to myself because so many "men" think if they can bark a command to someone then that must mean they are a Dom.......

I seek the one that can command without speaking. Can that be a reality?

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 45

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 2:23:57 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
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Hey yall thanks for all the responses to the blog, I am going to make a post hoping to reply to most of yall at once.

First off yall remember I am still new to the lifestyle I have yet to hear a true Master speak words to me that make me melt, so when I speak of the folks that I actually have talked to , it funny to me that they consider the "biggest part" of being Dom is to be able to bark and command.

Yes I am looking for the one that can trace my lips and speak volumes when he does. Looking for it daily ....... yet what I find is someone who is only part of what he claims to be .

"Although I guess it can be done why would you want that? Don't you want to hear the sound of his voice? A dom doesn't have to bark orders, hell, just a simple whispered "do it" or even better,"do it for Me". What's better than that? "

Yes I need it , but no luck as of yet.

More later.

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to Malacophonous)

Post #: 46

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 2:36:45 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Without tootign my own horn, I've had a degree of influence over certain young women my age or younger by simply being myself and with polite requests. However, to someone twice my age, I can easily be perceived as someone to young to know anything and not worth listening to at all.

It might not be age, MadRabbit, some people are simply incapable of actually listening.

I found that the less I said, the more people heard what I was saying.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 47

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 3:00:34 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

hmmmmm I have read about slain dragons, and submissive fantasies, and lotter tickets as well as sending me a telepathic soda from the next room ....... none of which made me chuckle...... and yes I have do have humor....

I am not talking about telling me to go to the store or any of the above foolishness.

I mean when he looks at you and you know what he wants, which is surely not a soda or a lottery ticket.

Someone made a very good post about bonding with your Master/Sub. Thats what I need, thats the information that I seek. Tell me the things that let you know what the silent communications mean. Tell me how he/she looks to make you feel better than anyone ever has .

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 48

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 3:02:35 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

Sinergy

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 49

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 4:18:43 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I mean when he looks at you and you know what he wants, which is surely not a soda or a lottery ticket.

That falls under the heading of an assumption. Since he hasn't told me what he wants, then I don't know what he wants. Acting on an assumption with my Lord would be disobedient. Unless it is some prearranged eye contact like "when I turn and look at you, do X" then there is no way to know what he wants.

quote:

Someone made a very good post about bonding with your Master/Sub. Thats what I need, thats the information that I seek. Tell me the things that let you know what the silent communications mean. Tell me how he/she looks to make you feel better than anyone ever has .

The only thing that tells me what the silent communication means is verbal communication to explain them. We use hand signals a lot for various different things, but these are instructions that have been verbally given to us so that in the moment no verbal cues are needed.

How he looks that makes me feel better than anyone else has doesn't have anything to do with issuing commands or even being dominant. It is a product of his love and commitment to the relationship between the three of us.

Knight's kyra

edited to add...
It is the stuff that you call foolishness that will make up the most of your day to day interactions. Submitting to someone isn't always all that sexy or fun.

< Message edited by kyraofMists -- 6/9/2007 4:39:57 PM >

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 50

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 4:43:52 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

It took me awhile, but I finally got it!

~laughing~ !

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 51

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 5:22:04 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

That was your "I need a lottery ticket" silent command, right Master Fire Ma'am?

Its so similar to the "I need a soda" one...

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 52

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 5:33:44 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

It took me awhile, but I finally got it!

~laughing~ !

So you thought she was speechless too?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 53

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 5:47:27 PM

goodgirl85

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

Hmmm.... certain times a look is good, it means you know each other. If he can look at you, and you right away know that he wants his glass refilled, or his plate cleared away or whatever it is.... You know him as well as he knows you. But nothing sends chills down my back then a Dom standing behind me, placing a blind fold on me, and whispering into my ear that I am to wash him, blindfolded. ..... trembles a little.... but this may have to do with the fact that i have a voice fetish.

(in reply to Malacophonous)

Post #: 54

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 7:20:06 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I am not talking about telling me to go to the store or any of the above foolishness.

I mean when he looks at you and you know what he wants, which is surely not a soda or a lottery ticket.

Someone made a very good post about bonding with your Master/Sub. Thats what I need, thats the information that I seek. Tell me the things that let you know what the silent communications mean. Tell me how he/she looks to make you feel better than anyone ever has .

You seem to have a very romantic idea of this mythical connection you will apparently have with this One you hope to have.

I can only suggest that when you can see the romance within the mundane foolishness.. then maybe you will avoid the disappoint that you are heading for.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 55

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 7:37:46 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

Fast Reply

Robert aspires to learning my wants and needs with never a word spoken. Of course this is not practical for everything but for some things it is. I am not a dominant because I can bark commands. Were that the case everyone with UMs would be dominants. *S*

What makes me a dominant? I will copy and paste from my journal, my views:

5/16/2007 9:09:01 PM

"What makes a beautiful lifestyle Dominant?" I was asked this today, by a friend, and I feel compelled to add my two cents to the mix.

For this topic: I will use the term "bottom" as a cover all for all types of subs, slaves, bottoms etc.

Breaking the question down: Lifestyle....for me this is one who feels the need to have a bottom in her life, either living in, as a primary partner or as frequent guests. She isn't dabbling, have occasional encounters and isn't "pro". She isn't "doing" anybody and everybody that come along; she want substance and connection.

Dominant...for me is someone who may or may not engage in any specific types of play. Flogging, spanking and whips do not a dominant make. Dominant means being in control of one's self in order to properly control another. That control can be exhibited in any number of ways...specifics in behavior (using specific words, having specific actions or tasks, so on and so forth), control over various things (masturbation habits, dress, how a drawers are arranged), this can be exhibited in words, looks, and/or actions. A dominant is cool, collected, thoughtful, willing to make a mistake, willing to apologize for said mistake and is willing to learn a thing or two from anyone who offers useful information (even from her bottom).

A dominant is able to laugh at herself and is forgiving when a bottom is learning. A dominant is stern when a bottom is pushing buttons. A dominant doesn't stop loving or caring for her bottom because of some random "thing". The love remains even when life isn't perfect. For me, personally...once I love you, then I love you. I've decided you are to be trusted and are a nice conglomeration of the things I feel connect me to you. What breaks that bond? When you harm my family. Take note, I said harm. We all hurt each other, accidentally. Harm is totally different. I will go to the kiln saying "I may hurt you but will never intentionally harm you". Intentional harm is something a dominant should never do. It is something NO ONE should ever do. It is wrong. What is intentional harm? How about when you are angry with each other and instead of mastering the conversation the dominant resorts to disparaging words. That's harmful unless prenegotiated as humiliation play.

A dominant wants growth and inspiration from her bottom. She wants to see him thrive and be happy. Her goal is not to ruin him financially, make him feel worthless or useless, or make him fear her in a negative way...all harmful things.

A dominant is a real human being and not some trumped up barbie in leather who's only goal in life is to step on everyone she comes by.

Beautiful...for me is individualized. I know my friend was by NO means referring to outward appearance. Beauty is a sparkle in an eye, it's a laugh that is infectious, it is jokes that only the two of us understand. Beauty is grace under pressure, a willingness to look silly. She has the ability to put at ease a nervous bottom. She can take the ease away with a glance...and only does so when totally necessary. She helps you become who you are meant to be because she loves you, not because she is completely self serving. She exudes confidence and knows what she wants. She is not afraid to take what she wants. She lives to build the relationship and not break the person.

A Beautiful Lifestyle Dominant (nutshelled) [imho]

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 56

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 8:12:16 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

is it wrong to have fantasies? Is it wrong to hope for what I need ? I dont expect perfection, But I can hope .

As far as disappointment........ its a daily factor in anyones life ....... be it in a person, place or thing , I have yet to have one day that something is not what I expected .....

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 57

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 8:32:27 PM

szobras

Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I have yet to have one day that something is not what I expected .....

I know much of what I think tomorrow will bring. I've made plans and have expectations. Funny though, the less expectations I have, the more surprises I get.

< Message edited by szobras -- 6/9/2007 8:36:24 PM >

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 58

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 9:25:31 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile
saying no does not equal being to dominant, however it's useful to say no/deny to keep from being taken advantaged off, controlled, or otherwise manipulated. I think everybody who's been out at clubs or bars, have seen the woman that take advantage of the men around the joint to know what I'm talking about here. Geeesssh... The fun and game at these places.

I wouldn't want to be with a dom who gave orders because he was worried or afraid he was being taken advantage of.

I'd be with a dom who is secure and KNOWS he isn't going to be taken advantage of, and that if he is, it's totally because the other person made their own choices.

There are a lot of insecure doms out there- and use denial and distraction as a way to keep the sub dancing around rather than being able to see the truth. In the end the truth comes out anyway.

I want to be with someone who is secure, and that means giving orders they know to be good orders, not orders as a way to prove something about them or the relationship.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 59

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 10:38:43 PM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

I did learn a long time ago....If you expect nothing...you will never be disappointed. I fail miserably at doing this though...so i do indeed get disappointed at times....I suppose its hard to have absolutely no expectations at all. I think its important to try and keep them in check probably....

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 60

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