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RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 10:52:48 PM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I seek the one that can command without speaking. Can that be a reality?

I'm just beginning to believe that it is. But i also think that this power comes not just from the Dom. I'm finally realizing that just because i am submissive and there are Dominant people out there doesn't mean i will feel the same power from them all. (i know...seems obvious but sometimes we know things before we feel them). What i mean is that i think it not only takes a naturally Dominant person to make you feel that power but it takes someone you can connect to. I would not call the Doms i have met in the past less "Domly" (oh what a fun word) than the ones i have felt such from. I just didn't particularily feel the desire to submit to them. Or maybe they were all fakes. Who knows. My point in way more words than were needed is that i believe it can be a reality.

Ok, i've rambled enough. This is what happens when the guy at the coffee shop forgets or chooses not to make my coffee decaf.

~charlotte

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 61

RE: Commands - 6/9/2007 11:00:39 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Daddy does not bark commands, his silence is much louder than barking could ever be. In fact he only "barks" at me in jest.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 62

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 1:27:32 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I wouldn't want to be with a dom who gave orders because he was worried or afraid he was being taken advantage of.

I'd be with a dom who is secure and KNOWS he isn't going to be taken advantage of, and that if he is, it's totally because the other person made their own choices.

There are a lot of insecure doms out there- and use denial and distraction as a way to keep the sub dancing around rather than being able to see the truth. In the end the truth comes out anyway.

I want to be with someone who is secure, and that means giving orders they know to be good orders, not orders as a way to prove something about them or the relationship.

LA, the whole light my smoke bit came up when somebody mentioned about a Domme picking a man out from a crowded room to more less Domme to death for a little while. I wrote back how I simply respond to these types of Games. Read this post from LadyHeart..

quote:

Yes, I've seen it done. One example of her power I witnessed was to single out a man in a crowded cafe. She would whisper "that one" and within the space of a few moments, have him kneeling at her feet lighting her cigarette. I have never forgotten seeing her in acion. Now that's a Domme! I consider myself a strong person, but even I would hesitate to contradict her or cross her, yet she was the most scrupulously polite person I have ever come across. That's true DOMINATION!
:))

If she were to have picked me out randomly in Cafe, she would had a bitch of time in her attempt to have me kneeling at her feet lighting her cigerettee. YES, this really does happen though where a Domme or women will do these things to feed their wickedly powerful egos, play with men like zilly putty! ha ha ha ha.... I've seen this too many times, and have had it tried on me too many times.   I'm Sorry, this Dude will provide her with a lighter, however will deny the pleasure of lighting the smoke let alone will I not get down on my knees and be doing this.    I do light smokes but only for the nice polite ones.

I'm not talking about Dom to submissive interaction in a realationship! I'm talking about Dom to Domme (controlling women) interaction in a public joint.

I've played out in band for many years of my life, I've been approached by women for all kinds of off the wall crap! Hell, where some woman tried like Hell to capture the "Lead Guitar Player" as if I some mindless fucking Trophy for the night or for a Trophy relationship.   LA, do you have any idea in Hell what it's like being treated like a Trophy to be captured? The stupid power games that woman are capable of doing in the process?   I think I know how to read cigerettee lighters and "the looks" women wield pretty damn well by now in life.   I considered myself an Expert or at least pretty damn advanced in this area now.

I have not been swayed by Peer pressure into doing all the All fucked up things either. For instance when I was younger and hanging out some guys, where they got the bright idea to Vandalise shit. That I said No and walked away from doing this crap. Other things where somebody attempts to sway me into doing something I'm not going to do. For instance somebody trying to talk me into becoming part of a Drug Deal. Hell no. I don't care who the Hell you are, who you think you are. NO.

I'm pretty damn secure in my ability to say NO and I'm not going to change my mind at a drop of dime. This is what gets so many parents in trouble with kids, where the kids don't learn that NO means NO as well. When you are in a store with 4 kids along, they tend to want a lot of things.  I'm not saying I'm a big bad mean person with kids, I Love kids. However, it's not realistic to simply being buying anything and everything in stores nonstop for them all the damn time either. If you say No, and learn they can break you down, kids will keep at you.. until you say Yes.

I'm nice guy but I'm not a Push Over for anybody, be it Dommes, submissives, children or others. Hope this clears up where I'm coming from with denying.

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 6/10/2007 1:32:27 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 63

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 1:50:59 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I wouldn't want to be with a dom who gave orders because he was worried or afraid he was being taken advantage of.

If I feel somebody is trying to take advantage of me or get to do something that I know is not a good thing, I simply say NO and stick to my guns. I'm saying NO to somebody elses orders and/or requests.

quote:

I'd be with a dom who is secure and KNOWS he isn't going to be taken advantage of, and that if he is, it's totally because the other person made their own choices.

In a 24/7 relationship I totally agree with you. However, with strangers and other people. Pffftt.. All fun stuff that includes trust as well.

quote:

There are a lot of insecure doms out there- and use denial and distraction as a way to keep the sub dancing around rather than being able to see the truth. In the end the truth comes out anyway.

I totally have to agree with you on this fact.

quote:

I want to be with someone who is secure, and that means giving orders they know to be good orders, not orders as a way to prove something about them or the relationship.

Exactly!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 64

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 2:13:08 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

The best communication is vebal. I hate it when people attempt to read my mind. There is a degree of non verbal communication use, this is normal for most people. However for somebody to simply look at me, and know within a second what I actually desire and want sometimes that happens. Other times it blows up in their own face. Why, because they are not a mind reader.

The notion the OP presents here is rather romantic, it's great to capture romantic moments in life. However, the reality is that being able to achieve this romanticized ideal on a 24/7 level, well simply put is not realistic.

How the Hell is somebody going to look at another human being and just simply know what the other person wants. Sure ever so often it will happen, but not all the damn time. It's simply not realistic.

In part I blame all the romantic notions that have been burned into our minds by Hollywood and works of fiction. These just show one side of the coin. It's not realistic to expect for a whole relationship to be based on a romantic notion we have planted in our heads. However we will have moments of romance in any relationship, and moments of the complete opposite to our romantic notions.

To the OP if you are placing heavy weight in this ideal, The Dom will fail you and you will fail him, you will be at odds with yourself and all Doms for the rest of your life.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 65

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 4:26:42 AM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

is it wrong to have fantasies? Is it wrong to hope for what I need ? I dont expect perfection, But I can hope . As far as disappointment........ its a daily factor in anyones life ....... be it in a person, place or thing , I have yet to have one day that something is not what I expected .....

Its never wrong to have fantasies and expectations. Most people started off with them. I certainly did. But you gain experience by letting those expectations go and accepting things for how they really are. I shouldnt even really have to say any of this since your 37 and probably understand this very well.

You have quite a few people with a lot of experience (particulary KnightofMists and KyraofMists) who are simply telling you it doesnt work like you are envisioning it.

I certainly dont have this Domly power to command with silence (except when I want sex...then not many words are needed, only actions). The best way I can describe "commanding with silence" is protocols and behaviors that are repititously learned by both people until they become like breathing or two people who have been together so long they know each other and their habits inside and out.

For example, I know one couple where the slave will kneel with simply a look from the dominant. This, however, doesnt have anything to do with any particular Domly power that the Dom has, but because they have been together for 10 years and she knows her dominant well enough to associate that particular look with kneeling...because its the same look he's had on his face when he's told her to kneel for 10 years.

Or what I was talking about which is people who influence others with their character.

_____________________________

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The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

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(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 66

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 4:49:32 AM

KMsAngel

Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: szobras

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I have yet to have one day that something is not what I expected .....

I know much of what I think tomorrow will bring. I've made plans and have expectations. Funny though, the less expectations I have, the more surprises I get.

even without experience i could tell you that fantasies will let you down. someone once told me that expectations (fantasies) kill hope. if you want perfection you're going to be sadly let down. perfection means they're not growing, not learning, not striving. and what the hell kind of Master/Dom/top will that make him? i want someone who will push me to strive, to become a better person; if he's not doing that himself, i'm not going to listen to him...

(in reply to szobras)

Post #: 67

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 4:50:53 AM

Slavetrainer2007

Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline

I typically dont "bark"commands unless frustrated. Barking and yelling tend to cause the person your barking and yelling at not to listen. If you have to use "force" in your voice your probably doing something wrong in my opinion. Which is why i never understood drill instructors in the military. Anyone gets up in my face yelling and screaming and calling me names im going to tell them to pipe off . Of course im not sub either:)

As for the domme and cigerette story, if thats true, methinks either the domme knew the sub male and the observer didnt know about it( which is more than likely) or both was at a BDSM event in which case it would not be that hard since i can get sub straight males to light my cigerettes on their knees given the supply and demand of male subs who are eager to please with no one to please.

Of course all this may be as it seems. I wouldnt know, ive never tried it. I light all my cigerettes using telekenisis:)

_____________________________

Life is given, Everything else is earned.

(in reply to MadRabbit)

Post #: 68

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 6:23:16 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

I did learn a long time ago....If you expect nothing...you will never be disappointed. I fail miserably at doing this though...so i do indeed get disappointed at times....I suppose its hard to have absolutely no expectations at all. I think its important to try and keep them in check probably....

There is nothing wrong with having expectations.....

HOWEVER,

Such expectation must be realistically obtainable.

Expecting to have a comfortable retirement life is reasonable if one is putting money away each day for this eventual time. But, if one is playing lotteries and expects that a comfortable retirement will be funded by lottery winnings... well... I see major disappointment.

In otherwards... realistic expectations are obtainable within the capacity of the individual. It takes some strenght to wisely consider what we are capable of. We are subject to over and under estimate our own capacity. It is a never ending path to assess our own capacities.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 69

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 6:31:05 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile
How the Hell is somebody going to look at another human being and just simply know what the other person wants. Sure ever so often it will happen, but not all the damn time. It's simply not realistic.

Well... my girls look at me.... and as they observe me... they note this bulge in the pants...

with no words... they quickly drop to their knees and relieve the stress I was under.

NO WORDS needed..... of course... I was relieved the moment they opened my pants... it was getting tight for room down there.

*wink*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 70

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 8:51:36 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile
LA, do you have any idea in Hell what it's like being treated like a Trophy to be captured? The stupid power games that woman are capable of doing in the process?

*giggle* Whiplash I don't think you've been reading my posts very well over time if you seriously think I don't understand these things.

Personally the vibes I'm getting from you here seriously make me feel like you're insecure, pissed and overcompensating. Maybe this is just a pet peeve of yours.

I'm not saying you're wrong though- it is distasteful to be so presumptuous and arrogant to strangers. My point is more that how a command is delivered is far less important than the motivation for the command itself. I think we agree on that point.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 71

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 9:18:32 AM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

Barking commands.... I think of that as "Drill Sergeant Mode" and I do it well. But, when I get in that mode it is either a> there is something wrong and I'm taking charge to take care of the problem or b> there is a serious communication breakdown

Under a> I go into drill sergeant mode in emergency situations. Old training that still works when appropriate.
Under b> Expectations completly blown off will get me into that mode. Such as coming home from a contract and finding things like this... http://home.earthlink.net/~hptech/images/

Stefan

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 72

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 10:23:49 AM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

I have said the same thing IF i have no expectations I cannott be disappointed, its kinda bland living like that though .....

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 73

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 10:50:33 AM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
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dangit I cant firgure out how to delete the post

< Message edited by simplewhispers -- 6/10/2007 10:57:19 AM >

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 74

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 10:54:26 AM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Daddy does not bark commands, his silence is much louder than barking could ever be. In fact he only "barks" at me in jest.

souds great

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 75

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 12:23:25 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile
LA, do you have any idea in Hell what it's like being treated like a Trophy to be captured? The stupid power games that woman are capable of doing in the process?

*giggle* Whiplash I don't think you've been reading my posts very well over time if you seriously think I don't understand these things.

Personally the vibes I'm getting from you here seriously make me feel like you're insecure, pissed and overcompensating. Maybe this is just a pet peeve of yours.

I'm not saying you're wrong though- it is distasteful to be so presumptuous and arrogant to strangers. My point is more that how a command is delivered is far less important than the motivation for the command itself. I think we agree on that point.

LOL.. Actually, I love reading your posts LA... And yes this is a Big Fat Rolly Polly Pet Peeve of mine, along with talking Furby's (I just want to gut them all permantantly of their batteries).   I swear they were the most Evil thing Hasbro ever invented.

I wonder if they can reprogrammed to issue evil domly BDSM commands for scene play though?

"OOooo Eeeee Furrrby!! Drop to your knees OOOwww Aaaaaaa Now Bitch OOOOOww EEEEEE AWWWaww Suck Cock Now Slut!!   OOOooo Eeeeeee FurrrrBbbbeeeee.. You've Been a Bad Little Bitch... OOOooo Eeeeeee FurrrrBbbbeeeee.."

I think I'd have to kill it with a baseball bat... Whamppp.. and send it flying out the window..   Kind of like getting rid of bats in the attic using a tennis racket.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 76

RE: Commands - 6/10/2007 12:33:16 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Daddy does not bark commands, his silence is much louder than barking could ever be. In fact he only "barks" at me in jest.

souds great

I give people shit, I yell at them, I pick fights, I insult them, I terrorize them, etc., at work.

I dont take my work home with me.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to simplewhispers)

Post #: 77

RE: Commands - 6/11/2007 2:11:49 PM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

I seek the one that can command without speaking. Can that be a reality?

Not only is it a reality, but a necessity in a dominant being. If you do not contain the real thing you are little more than flashy packaging. Those who pretend dominance without building or naturally having the right tools within them are vulnerable to the clever and underhanded.

How brilliantly written

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(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 78

RE: Commands - 6/11/2007 2:14:35 PM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile
How the Hell is somebody going to look at another human being and just simply know what the other person wants. Sure ever so often it will happen, but not all the damn time. It's simply not realistic.

Well... my girls look at me.... and as they observe me... they note this bulge in the pants...

with no words... they quickly drop to their knees and relieve the stress I was under.

NO WORDS needed..... of course... I was relieved the moment they opened my pants... it was getting tight for room down there.

*wink*

Thankgoodness I do not have a bulge to give the game away lol

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 79

RE: Commands - 6/11/2007 3:00:09 PM

HypnoticDan

Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline

In my case I would use either
a) body language or
b) a post hypnotic suggestion such as "when you see that I wear the master's ring you will find you are unable to walk upright, and instead will feel compelled to crawl. When I remove the ring you will be able to walk again."

Either way.

(in reply to Malacophonous)

Post #: 80

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