stella40
Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006 From: London, UK Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kirby104 So, i am a drama queen, but I want to be pleasing. I never felt pleasing. I want to learn to serve correctly. Should I be shamed that I don't know how to serve? I though that if I was submissive, it would be right. I was terribly wrong. Does my lack of knowledge negate my submissiveness? Is there any possible way to learn or am I fooling myself? Does your lack of knowledge negate your submissiveness? No it doesn't. I've been in and out of BDSM for 22 years and there's still a lot of things I still don't know, perhaps among them things I should know but don't, but there are certain things I do know. Just because you're a submissive doesn't mean to say you can please any and every Dominant. You can't. I know, I can't. Years back I tried, it didn't work out, I brought disappointment and let Doms down. And there's been a couple of Dommes I really really badly wanted to submit to, but I couldn't, the mroe I tried the more ridiculous it became. Submission is a bit like toothpaste. It doesn't all come out at once, and just as you have to keep gently squeezing the tube to get a smooth flow of toothpaste I find you also have to work on your submission gradually, bit by bit. From what I can gather you have a lack of experience and feel that there's a correct way to serve. There is a correct way to serve but it doesn't come from a book and can't be learned at a school (if this were true almost every Dom and submissive would be happy and in a relationship). The only correct way is by being yourself, learning your mistakes and serving the right Dom. You cannot learn without making mistakes. I don't know and I'm only guessing, but it appears you went that little bit further than you were able and overstretched yourself in your submission (basically someone squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard and it came out in a horrible blob). Okay, so you made a mistake and you let your Doms down... so what? I've made mistakes, we've all made mistakes, and we've all let someone down at some point. And I tell you, if anyone can make a big fat boo boo of a mistake, it's me. If BDSM was all or nothing a lot of people wouldn't be here, I would be one of them. But it isn't. It's therefore up to you to decide whether you want to whip yourself mercilessly in the purgatory of your own mind or to say 'to hell with it, I'm only human' and move on.
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I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited) If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
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