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RE: i deserve scorn - 6/11/2007 12:38:56 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kirby104

I felt that no one wanted to talk and someone "went away." So I "went away", and I lost myself. I offer profuse apology.

I don't understand what you mean by this? Can you expound on it a little more?

(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: i deserve scorn - 6/11/2007 1:45:04 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: kirby104

POINT: THE SAFEST WAY TO RESIDE HERE IS TO LIST AS DOMINANT

I swear. Some people!


So... exactly what is the danger?

"OH NO! I've been overwhelmed e-mail and I can't reach the delete key"?


Aquatic, I believe being not understood/accepted as a submissive that likes to top.  I've had the same crap when even I talk about being Maso at times.  OH my what's this a Dom that will bottom in S&M.. And hearing you're a switch or a submissive and not a Dom.   There are some really ignorant asses on the site!  I'm specifically talking about people that are not on the Messge Boards... 

In her case I beleive she resorted to listing herself as a Dominant to make it clear she enjoys topping...   without all the Dangers of having people fucking give her a hard time.  Again, there are some really ignorant asses on the site, that go around giving people a hard time over shit.  


Sure. I can understand it. I just don't get her being indigant and talking about safety when people are confused that a dominant starting talking about her collar.

I don't think she's better off either way and at least one way is honest. I would hate to be talking to someone who I believe was a dominant and then find out they are a sub who likes to top. Nothing wrong with it. Just not something I'm interested in since I want a dominant.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 6/11/2007 1:46:36 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: i deserve scorn - 6/11/2007 7:46:44 PM   
kirby104


Posts: 94
Joined: 6/6/2005
Status: offline 		The important people in my life know the real me. That's all.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: i deserve scorn - 6/11/2007 8:45:46 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kirby104

The important people in my life know the real me. That's all.


That's great. But why come here for advice if you aren't going to be clear about your situation? I know your post was more of a rant type thing, but *shrug* I just wonder what kind of response you were hoping to get.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 6/11/2007 8:46:44 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: i deserve scorn - 6/12/2007 12:13:23 PM   
kirby104


Posts: 94
Joined: 6/6/2005
Status: offline 		I didn't seem to be pleasing as a sub. I thought is was entirely my fault, so I removed my collar. It would only cause more turmoil if I reveal the painful details. I've come to the realization that Instead of focusing on what I am unable to do; I can concentrate on what the things in which I am proficient. So all of this leads me to be progressively dominant. If I claim myself a switch, then I'm still obliged to state that I won't submit to guys who want me to give them a bj. 

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: i deserve scorn - 6/12/2007 12:49:20 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kirby104

I didn't seem to be pleasing as a sub. I thought is was entirely my fault, so I removed my collar. It would only cause more turmoil if I reveal the painful details. I've come to the realization that Instead of focusing on what I am unable to do; I can concentrate on what the things in which I am proficient. So all of this leads me to be progressively dominant. If I claim myself a switch, then I'm still obliged to state that I won't submit to guys who want me to give them a bj. 


*Shrugs* Just like a lot of dominants have to state that they aren't going to do a lot of work and only fulfill the fantasies of the sub.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: i deserve scorn - 6/12/2007 4:02:54 PM   
Adelphus


Posts: 87
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		Hullo lovey. Not entirely sure whats going on, but my guess is you tried your hand at subbing and it didn't work out....or you were told it didn't work out. I just went through the same thing, and I've learned that just because one relationship ended badly doesn't mean I suck as a sub. They could suck at being Doms you know. Or no one could suck and it just be a bad match. It's the same with all relationships I know now. Being a sub doesn't make you right for every dom, just as being a straight girl doesn't make you right for every straight guy.

(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: i deserve scorn - 6/12/2007 5:42:47 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kirby104

I didn't seem to be pleasing as a sub. I thought is was entirely my fault, so I removed my collar. It would only cause more turmoil if I reveal the painful details. I've come to the realization that Instead of focusing on what I am unable to do; I can concentrate on what the things in which I am proficient. So all of this leads me to be progressively dominant. If I claim myself a switch, then I'm still obliged to state that I won't submit to guys who want me to give them a bj. 


Kirby,  there are couple of things I wish to share with you and others on this thread.   At one point and time I was blessed with a wonderful Domme and she had problems with guys expecting her to give them blow jobs.  Actually she had a nasty reputation for biting and torturing cocks.  This was simply her natural reaction to any guy that wanted to be the top and shove their cocks down her mouth and throat.  She did not like, care for it and did not respond well to it.   She was not into submitting to somebody shoving/pounding thier cocks in her mouth.  he he he..  Anybody that tried got bit pretty damn.  

Anyways, here's the ironic part of the story.  She did not mind giving blow jobs as long as she was the one in control as the top.  I would simply relax and be vocal and responsive to what she was doing.   I think it can make a big difference at times who feels they are in control of what.    I don't know if BJ's are totally out of the question with you.  This one post you made reminded me in part of her. 

Bravo for coming to this understanding  "I've come to the realization that Instead of focusing on what I am unable to do; I can concentrate on what the things in which I am proficient." ;^)  You don't have to squeeze into any stereotyped roles of being a pleasing submissive or anything else.  You just need to be pleasing as yourself to somebody specific, and not the whole damn BDSM community itself.  Somebody will find you pleasing for being you.

The difficult bitch is selecting/find and defining the labels that best match you and being able to share that with other people. Somebody out there will understand, appreciate, and find you very pleasing.

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck in sorting ecerything out.  It sounds like you have already made some awesome progress.

(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 88
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