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Gauge -> RE: wow this isn't working lol (6/10/2007 2:03:54 PM)
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First of all please understand that what I am about to say to you is not to flame you or to place upon you any negative labels, it is simply to point to a few things that come directly from your profile and posts that you have made that are fairly contradictory.
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Hey I'm new to this scene but I've been checking it out and looking around and this is what I'm after just to make sure we're on the same page.
I put this here to emphasize the fact that you are new to the scene by your own admission.
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I'm physically fit and expect partners to be as well as a sign of mutual respect.
Being physically fit has nothing to do with mutual respect for ones partner. If you take care of yourself and you want your partner to care about their own appearance then say so. This may appear that you are asking for respect that you have not earned.
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I actually CARE about people...strange concept I know...so in terms of I guess the BDSM equiv to a '1 night stand' nah I'm not down with that.
I might suggest that you are way off base by declaring that it is a strange concept to care about people. I would also add that if you think that within the confines of a BDSM relationship that caring is secondary to the bondage or sadism or any such thing then you have very little idea about the amount of trust that must be present in order to submit yourself to someone else. I would also like to point out that in the BDSM world I would say that there are rarely "one night stands" because of the trust issue.
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I really would prefer to be born in the same decade as you if ya know what I mean.
I am quite straight...guys I know you want to touch the abs...but you can't =D
Why do you state that you prefer the ten year age difference and then ask "if ya know what I mean?" I would think your statement was clear, but that is a little thing. Why must you add the unnecessary comment about guys wanting to "touch the abs?" If you are straight, guys will understand what that means. This appears to be a bit on the (I hate politically correct buzz words) homophobic side. Besides, in your picture you can barely see your abs.
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I'm intelligent, active, playful, loyal, courageous, friendly (most the time), observant, devious...a lot haha...and a lot of other traits that can basically be summed up in that I am a lot like a dog. RUFF! and I need training because I'm wild =D
You state you are a "Switch" in your profile but you never put any emphasis on any desire to be dominant. You state that you are "wild." "Wild" is not what a submissive/switch is looking for in a dominant, they want to know you are stable and consistent, not a loose cannon.
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Why should you choose me over the other 10302582308 people...well I'm not a physically abused child who is trying to mimic, but rather just somebody who thinks this is erotic. I am told that I'm fairly attractive but hey your the ultimate judge of that.
If you think that you are going to really separate yourself from the pack by your "physically abused child" comment then think again. That comment alone should be enough to throw up a large red flag because it is very obvious that you have no understanding about BDSM or it's underlying concepts.
Additionally, if you are stating that you finding this "erotic" as some sort of bastion that places you far and above the rest of the guys on here... boy are you wrong. The people on this site find BDSM erotic and sexually stimulating... this is why they are here and involved in the lifestyle.
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What am I looking for?
well the optimal conditions would be bisexual, same personality type, a switch, and extremely hot + intelligent, but I like you live in what is sometimes referred to as the real world, so even if your not all of that hit me up
Instead of saying all of this, why not omit it and then sort through those that do contact you?
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If this interests you then drop me a line here and preferably add another contact source so I can chat with you on some type of IM or txt messaging...
Rarely will someone tell you their IM names until they get to know you. Keep that in mind.
OK, that is your profile... now on to some of your comments on the boards:
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Hey I've been digging around in this lifestyle for a while now and I'm starting to get aggitated. I'm just after a hot female in the area for pretty much any of the 'sub-fetishes?' listed or whatever they're called...I don't care. However it seems that doesn't exist, and appears as if everybody is taken or well just not something I'd be interested in. I'm not an extremely picky person but I take care of myself and just want to find somebody else (opposite sex) who thinks this stuff is erotic..advice? tips? I'd appreciate big time, thx
"Digging around" implies that you are casually interested in BDSM and think that it might be cool to get involved. If you stated that you are interested in learning about the lifestyle it would say much about your own character.
"I don't care" means what it says... you do not, nor did you take the time to learn about what it is you are looking for.
"Advice? Tips?" be careful what you wish for... you might get it. If you want people to mollycoddle you and blow sunshine up your ass, this is not the site for you. Sadly we run into people just like you every day on here saying the same basic things and this community will shoot straight from the hip and tell you what they see. If you do not like what it is you are told, remember that you asked, we didn't solicit you.
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I see that being calm, thinking before typing, and being mature and diplomatic are not the ways things are done around here so I will bid you all goodbye, because I refuse to lower my standards of communication
Read on...
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I never vowed not to post, but stated that I would not sink to the level of flaming.
Bidding all of us "goodbye" may not be a vow, but it sure indicates to me that you have decided to no longer post because of the treatment you have gotten.
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You judged me based on my profile without ever even talking to me. Thing about text is, it so often fails to give the full meaning of an intent.
We "judged" you based on your profile because we have had little else to work with. The lack of response to your profile may well be due to the fact that others are drawing the very same conclusions that we are. As far as the limitations of text based media goes, that stands as no excuse for poor grace when confronted with other opinions.
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I haven't even judged any of you despite your limited actions, in order to really gauge who somebody is you need more experience with them then reading a profile on an online site.
Profiles and forum posts are really all ANYONE has to build a first impression. You have made an impression that you may not like.
If I may now digress from being objective, I would like to offer my opinion of what I have seen from you.
You have the short temper that is indicative of immaturity and youth (not all youth is immature by the way). You have exhibited an unwillingness to really listen to what is being said to you... instead you have turned yourself into a victim of all the big bad BDSM meanies. If you are unwilling to listen to people that are more experienced, more mature and more knowledgeable than you then how do you expect anyone to trust you to bind them up and do things that (if not done correctly) could cause serious injury to them? You expect much but give little; those are not good qualities.
Take that chip off of your shoulder, admit that you went off a little half-cocked and find out what these "judgmental" people have to say to you. Recently there was a newbie to the boards that came on like gangbusers... he got blasted, taken apart limb by limb and basically crucified by the regular members. He actually began to listen and admitted he was wrong in his approach. He now has earned my respect and the respect of others on the site because he took the punches and actually began to learn a thing or two.
Oh... one last thing...
Welcome to the Collarme message boards.
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