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Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:14:54 PM   
aggressiveblkdom


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/21/2007
From: The Dark Side of The Moon
Status: offline 		Lately I've been wondering more and more about this. Being a younger Dom, I've often faced the frustrating words "sorry, you're not old enough". Why do so many women not even bother to consider a person due to their age? Is it because age is automatically associated with maturity? If so, isnt this jumping the gun because many people are middle aged, etc and still act worse than some little kids. Just thought I'd get some feedback on this to help me to understand this a bit better.
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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:18:23 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aggressiveblkdom

Lately I've been wondering more and more about this. Being a younger Dom, I've often faced the frustrating words "sorry, you're not old enough". Why do so many women not even bother to consider a person due to their age? Is it because age is automatically associated with maturity? If so, isnt this jumping the gun because many people are middle aged, etc and still act worse than some little kids. Just thought I'd get some feedback on this to help me to understand this a bit better.


Why is weight, hair color, breast size, family background, education level?

It's all personal preference.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:20:34 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		In a word, Yes---age is associated with mental maturity, financial stability, ( a huge issue for a female submissive, I'd expect)---and sadly-- experience---and the fact that they CAN pick and choose what they want----and many want someone older=equates to security.
 
 

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:22:33 PM   
drawntothedark


Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline 		*bangs head on desk*


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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:24:50 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, the pendulum swings both ways quite often AG.  There are those that see it as maturity, some experience and some in their head need the man to be taller and older (and I gotta tell you for alot of them out here) the bad boy.  Even tho they vociferously argue to the contrary.

Then us old geezers who could probably take on one of these I will do anything keep me in a cage and feed me shit slaves and turn them into pretty decent folk and still imbue some happiness in their lives-------well, that don't work neither.

But you are gonna see a standard bell curve you got 80-90 percent hunting in their own age group (+ or - a few points of age ) and only maybe 5% on the distant ends of the curve for acceptablility to a wide swing in age.

Ron 

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:25:24 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Reposted:

Age matters as much as it matters to you.

On many levels, age doesn't really mean much when it comes to the individual.  There really are lots of mature, ready, and open younger people who fit in very well with mature, ready and open older people.

That being said, one's age IS something of an indicator about them- the culture you grow up in is a HUGE influence on your interests and perspectives, the politics, diseases, education style, music, fashion, art, books, they all get experienced in different ways in different times at different ages.

That's not a killjoy- I amaze people all the time by bringing up movie and song trivia from decades before I was born (my mother raised me right).  And for someone older who ENJOYS discovering new things, a younger person is perfect as a gateway into the next generation of cultural discoveries.

As well there IS something to be said for the stability of the old.  Younger people have to go through life stages- finding yourself, job, family, establishing yourself as an adult (a process which is much farther extended than in previous generations, again not a bad thing necessarily).  They often don't have the same problems and responsibilities as older people- ex's, kids, health care, etc.  There's an element of rapid change and instability in being with someone younger.

Finally, none of these has to matter to any great degree at all.  We ARE all still people and May'December relationships are a LOT more common than people believe, and they can work out just great.  It's not all just older men in mid-life crisis and younger women sponging.  We each individually have our own histories, quirks, problems, perspectives and joys.  Age won't take that away and it doesn't make it impossible for a relationship to work.

As long as you keep everything in perspective, and really examine things, as long as you can use the strengths that you have together and become a cohsive unit- then age can be just another part of the person, something you sometimes love and something you sometimes can't stand.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_926958/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#926970
why is age such a big deal?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_866797/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#866828
Does age equal experience?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_607651/mpage_2/key_age/tm.htm#608245
Age

http://www.collarchat.com/m_550824/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#550893
Does age matter in a sub?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_441624/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#441638
Does age make experience?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_389399/mpage_2/key_age/tm.htm#389616
Age since weight is being done

http://www.collarchat.com/m_366036/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#366124
Should age matter for a sub?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_336445/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#336457
Yes another ? about age

http://www.collarchat.com/m_325491/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#325694
Does age difference matter?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_290637/mpage_2/key_age/tm.htm#291554
What is the oldest dom you would consider?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_220984/mpage_1/key_age/tm.htm#220997
What is it with girls having masters double their ages?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_209024/mpage_3/key_age/tm.htm#212527
Does age matter? (2)


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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:26:55 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

*bangs head on desk*



*offers Icepack*
 
Peace
the.dark.


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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:38:17 PM   
aggressiveblkdom


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/21/2007
From: The Dark Side of The Moon
Status: offline 		Hmmm, I guess part of the reason I am still so confused about such is because I am VERY open-minded. Thus I sometimes expect the same of many others.

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:39:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Definitely unreasonable expectations.

You are allowed to have whatever criteria you want.

So are they.

Embrace what works for you, leave the rest.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:47:10 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
Everyone is different.  Its unreasonable to assume everyone is openminded - is life in general and the people in it open minded?  Not really - and BDSM contains those people.
 
Don't expect but do communicate (which you are already doing here).  I am sure you have a set 'list' of what you desire.  Age is just one of those preferences.
 
Peace
the.dark.


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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:47:42 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		<Fast Reply>

I just can't get into younger doms... makes me think of my brother. And i'm not into that type of thing.

Like others will tell you... everyones got their thing... so just stick to your things..and things will happen.

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 1:58:56 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aggressiveblkdom

Lately I've been wondering more and more about this. Being a younger Dom, I've often faced the frustrating words "sorry, you're not old enough". Why do so many women not even bother to consider a person due to their age? Is it because age is automatically associated with maturity? If so, isnt this jumping the gun because many people are middle aged, etc and still act worse than some little kids. Just thought I'd get some feedback on this to help me to understand this a bit better.


For me, it's all about how much and what experience you already have.  Young guys may like to play with an older woman to "learn" then kick her to the curb when they have felt they learned enough.
 
I've already paid my dues.  I don't want to be in constant "teach" mode. You need to kiss your share of frogs so you an appreciate a princess.  Telling a young'uns my experiences will get.."Well, that's not the way *I* see it".  So I might just pat you on the head and tell you to go on your way and continue to re-invent the wheel until you realize what I told you was the truth.  I have no more energy to debate the obvious.  If it's not obvious to the young'uns, it eventually will be and it's at that time it will finally sink in. 
 
I feel you have to learn the basics on your own in your peer group. 



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I'm not inflatable.


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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 2:05:32 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aggressiveblkdom

Hmmm, I guess part of the reason I am still so confused about such is because I am VERY open-minded. Thus I sometimes expect the same of many others.


The reality is that I am sure we could find something that you are not open minded about, some limitation you impose in your life choices. For many submissives/slaves a younger dominant is a limitation they have. It is not personal, it just is what it is. Accept it and move on.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 2:06:48 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Fast Reply:

Some subs DO want a younger dom.  Be patient and keep looking.

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 2:18:28 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		If your open minded be a sub.

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 2:28:36 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		{fast reply}

It isn't so much an age equals maturity or people have a not so open mind because they use age as a criteria... it is far more about people have all types of preferences. I have a very open mind but I still have preferences. I use 10 yrs as a scale, 10 yrs younger than me (I'm 40) or 10 yrs older than my primary partner (she's 35). This is a guideline & not set in stone. We have met people who are younger than this age criteria that we found compatibility with on many levels but in other areas they were way behind us in experience such as parenting (we still have 2 minor UM's & 1 18 y/o in the home) or no real direction in their career path. We have found compatibility with people older than this criteria but they were not able to keep up with the physical demands that a relationship with us would demand. Or they were so set in their own routine they could not adapt to ours. We've also found people who were the perfect age for us & not found compatibility on many levels or even found complete compatibility across the board & they simply go poof.

You just have to be patient & the right person will come along.




< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 6/13/2007 2:29:21 PM >

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 3:32:23 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aggressiveblkdom

Lately I've been wondering more and more about this. Being a younger Dom, I've often faced the frustrating words "sorry, you're not old enough". Why do so many women not even bother to consider a person due to their age? Is it because age is automatically associated with maturity? If so, isnt this jumping the gun because many people are middle aged, etc and still act worse than some little kids. Just thought I'd get some feedback on this to help me to understand this a bit better.


I'll tell you why it's this way for me. Believe it or not, it's not your maturity level, your interests or anything like that. I tend to like much of the music, movies, and interests that people of your age tend to like.

However, my son is 23, soon to be 24. That means you're in his age range. I have this "thing" about the idea of bringing someone home that is the same age as my children. And since I don't play casually, the kinds of relationships I want are those in which I don't have to hide who I am seeing. This means that at some point in time, my children are going to meet the person I call Master.

While I can be open minded, what I value more is my children's respect. When I consider someone in their 20's, I envision my sons' possible look of disgust over their mother not keeping within her own age group and the possible embarrassment of my oldest having his mother being involved with someone who could be his college roommate.

I don't think this is much different than some younger people having reservations about becoming involved with someone their mother's age and having to explain this type of relationship to their friends and parents.

In my mind, "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" is a movie and not something I really want to experience in real life. And just like at the age of 25, you may not be interested in someone nearly twice your age, so am I not interested in someone nearly half my age.

That's really all there is to it from my point of view.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 6/13/2007 3:35:16 PM >

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 4:07:46 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		You have a point, but its only a personal choice......don't take it personal.   In my quest to explore me, Ive been pleasantly surprised by younger men.  However, in the bdsm world I like a more mature guy, I find them to be more settled, empty nest, more flexible, dependable.

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 4:11:24 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not totally against a younger Dominant.  Although ... I admit I first assume the only reason he's looking at me is for that ~teaching~ position due to ~my~ age.  I'm not into casual play and I'm not looking for a Dominant right now anyway but if I was the level of maturity would be the largest factor.  

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 4:15:27 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Age is an issue online, it is not such an issue in real life.  If one carries themselves with grace and maturity, your reputation will mean more than your age.

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