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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/13/2007 9:33:35 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes I think age matters sometimes not, My Master is only 3 years older than me and for the moment for what I am looking for in my life that is perfect. I have 4 young children and as well as being Master I need someone I can hang out with and have fun with in strictly a "nilla sense. And a Dom that was too much older would perhaps not have the energy or the desire to be around 4 children. And someone much younger is not likely to want to be with someone who lacks the freedom to just do whatever they feel just on a whim. Obviously there would be exceptions to this though.

If however I was looking for a Dom purely for play sessions and nothing more, then age would most certainly become much less of a factor.

But really it would be a case by case basis, were I looking I would never dismiss someone completely because of thier age but everyone has thier own personal preferences and they are different for us all hence why they are personal.

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 2:51:46 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		If i were looking for an "activities director" (play partner) then age would not matter much at all.  The statement that age only matters online is inaccurate as i can clearly see in person whether a person is age-appropriate to me.  i'm not an online fake just because i prefer someone within 10 years of my own age. Frankly i think if i were an online fake, age would never make a difference at all. 

Age matters to me because i am looking for a relationship not a list of activities.  i don't want to raise UMs,  i don't want to have to explain what those 10-inch vinyl disks are, i may even want to have a discussion on the Carter administration.  People of vastly different ages may have vastly different goals, be at vastly different stages of life and that has nothing whatsoever to do with maturity or BDSM experience it has to do with life experience and being able to relate.  April-December relationships do exist and flourish but is not my preference. 

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(in reply to aggressiveblkdom)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 3:19:32 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aggressiveblkdom
But I'm also noticing that with alot of people it's age association. When they see the age they automatically equate it with their son, younger brother, etc. Then you become nothing more than a number, not a person.


See, and right here is precisely the reason why I won't date someone who's half my age. You say I've made you nothing more than a number - not a person. And that's patently wrong.

You see, if that were the case, it'd be a situation where I was thinking about you and I'm not. It's not all about you.

For me, it's about my family, my sons, the respect I have for them and they have for me. I personally don't care about much beyond that - no matter what the age of the person I become involved with. When my Master finally met my boys, it was VERY important to me that they liked and respected him. I'm not talking about that deep respect that comes from years of knowing someone but the kind that kids have or don't have for the people their parents are meeting. My oldest is your age. It was about the respect between those two men, not about me. Before I EVER introduced him to my daughter I made darn sure I could trust him around her. I made darn sure he was the kind of man who would not turn his nose up at her because of her disabilities. I made darn sure he wasn't considering becoming one of those serial dads. And I made darn sure he could accept and understand that her being enamored with him is simply one of the things we have to deal with since she is a child within a woman's body. In short, it was my children's opinions and  best interests that mattered - not his and not mine. It was not all about HIM. It was not even all about me. And it's certainly not all about you.

It's not that you're not a person. It's simply that you're not the person I'd be interested in - for reasons completely apart from the person you are.

And your ability or inability to understand that for some of us, there are greater considerations than YOU is a testimony to your level of maturity, but it was never about how mature you are. It was always about how you would measure up to the other members of my family. And as unsettling as that may seem, because of your age, you wouldn't.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 6/14/2007 3:21:50 AM >

(in reply to aggressiveblkdom)
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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 3:31:42 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I have to echo pretty much what most said here.  Yes, it is a personal preference but, like juliet, if I want to bring him home, I don't want my kids wondering what the hell I am doing.  Their respect means too much to me. 

(in reply to aggressiveblkdom)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 3:35:23 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		There are munches and groups for younger folks in the Lifestyle, often called
"The Next Generation" group or something similiar to that.
Try searching on http://www.tes.org and http://www.soj.org for resources in your area.
 
Welcome to the Forums! 

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(in reply to aggressiveblkdom)
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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 3:38:55 AM   
NoirUMC


Posts: 132
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		I gotta admit I've been troubled by the age question in the past. But frankly, I have some silly criteria myself. Like...

Age.

And Smoking.

And -cough- politics.

So I can forgive someone an arbitrary preference more easily than one might think.

< Message edited by NoirUMC -- 6/14/2007 3:39:34 AM >

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(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 3:51:15 AM   
Llyren


Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		Perhaps I'm odd, but I like younger men.  I once was involved with someone sixteen years younger than I am, and we had enough points of reference.  He explained a few things to me, and vice versa.  In the end, we broke up not due to age, but due to something equally silly. 

Everyone has prejudices.  Personally, I have a deep and abiding prejudice against old hairy men who use shiftcaps, 'u' for 'you', and are seeking teenagers with no limits. 


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(in reply to NoirUMC)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 5:28:03 AM   
InnocentSinfor1


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		I for one like older because I had bad experiences with younger. I like men who are um "seasoned" I find that with the way I think the way I do things that I need a man that knows more then me so I can learn. I am always wanting to learn something. And it's the maturity level that I am after. If I could have found a person that was in their mid 40's I would have been happy. I am not trying to be small minded or shallow I just know what works for me. It's not that you are too young, pple tend to look at the age and wonder aboutt he maturity level and the experience. If an 18 year old walked up to me and said Hey you are my sub kneel to me. I would have laugh my arse off. It's the style and the technique. Grasp the mind and the body will follow. No one can just tell me what to do or I will laugh and leave. It's all in how it's done. I wish you luck in this, and yes the age factor is very vast in this community.

(in reply to aggressiveblkdom)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 5:35:56 AM   
mpnaleksandra2


Posts: 24
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline 		Its interesting how the OP says that so many subs wants an older partner while I keep coming acoss women that tell me that they would love to get to know us if my Dom was younger.... something about the "no one over 40 rule".

I guess what i am trying to say is that there are plenty of people out there that are looking for a younger dominant, the trick is being patient enough to find them.

(in reply to InnocentSinfor1)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 7:18:14 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I have to admit I never understood allowing your own kids have that sort of say in who you are with- they can't respect you, your choices or someone else just because of age?  Does that really teach them to respect diversity, respect you as an adult?  Obviously the person you bring in MUST be a respectful person and fit well in the existing family, but I don't see how age is automatically a big deal for that.

Nor do I think one needs to date someone very different in order to teach someone about diversity or respect- I simply don't see how it necessarily causes a problem either.

And I've never understood the "I've got a daughter your age, so I can't be with you" issue either.

I think it tends to be more the parent are unable to separate relationships than anything.  Perhaps because I'm polyamorous and I understand forming very unique simultaneous relationships which respect eachother that make it difficult for me to understand.

Now, plain personal preference I completely understand.

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 7:31:29 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		I feel as though this post is much to long to quote but I have to agree with most of what you said.

Personal preference is huge, we all have it, and admitting that we are all even just a little judgemental is fine.

However I can understand where the OP is coming from as well.  I may only be 22 but I have just as much responsability if not more than most people who are my mothers age.  I dont have children but I'm the caregiver for two adults, I am not married but somehow managed to buy my first house that is brand new (the mortgage is more expensive because of my age but hey i'm a homeowner) and I go to work everyday, stay proactive in my postition and go home and live normally at night.  I may be 22 but the responsability of life that I have been given dictates my decisions everyday, what I do, what I dont do, and what my interests are in and out of the lifestyle.  To me it's not the age of a person, it's the maturity level.  I get along and see eye to eye with more people in their late 30's to early 50's than I do with my own generation.  Having to grow up young is what has done that.  So point blank dont be to quick to judge based on age. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 7:35:24 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Meticulous girl- after walking down the path you are walking just a few years ago, I learned that it's really just best to be true to yourself, do what you want and keep walking.  You can go on and on about maturity and who you are and justifying things- but it won't change much.  Not that it's not desired- decent examples of younger people are always good to have.  But I found that ageism is as bad as racism in its irrationality and depth of fervor. 

Your own sense of self and good choices will speak more for you than anything and eventually you'll be too old for them to make age a scapegoat.  Then they'll talk about something else irrelevant.

This is how I learned to walk that path, but you should of course go your way.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 7:38:12 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		being the oldest out of 5 (and the only girl), i basically have nothing in common with my younger siblings except having the same parents (though the last 3 were adopted). i cannot discuss politics in music and/or movies with them nor could i understand the fascination with comic books and playstation. and out of my 4 younger sibliings, only one i would consider more mature and responsible than most within in his age group however for now, he's not looking for a steady relationship just yet ...he's thoroughly enjoying his single life to the fullest. i can't see myself discussing about being in a D/s relationship with UMs with someone who's 20 or 10 yrs younger than me unless they have UMs of their own 

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 7:40:09 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		i have always been attracted to older men-my ex husband was 13 years older than me.  i do not know why, and have never given it much thought.  i guess now i will think on it a bit.

as i get older, i guess this will have to change-or i may have to start visiting old folks homes huh?

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 8:49:18 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I have to admit I never understood allowing your own kids have that sort of say in who you are with- they can't respect you, your choices or someone else just because of age?  Does that really teach them to respect diversity, respect you as an adult?  Obviously the person you bring in MUST be a respectful person and fit well in the existing family, but I don't see how age is automatically a big deal for that.

Nor do I think one needs to date someone very different in order to teach someone about diversity or respect- I simply don't see how it necessarily causes a problem either.

And I've never understood the "I've got a daughter your age, so I can't be with you" issue either.

I think it tends to be more the parent are unable to separate relationships than anything.  Perhaps because I'm polyamorous and I understand forming very unique simultaneous relationships which respect eachother that make it difficult for me to understand.

Now, plain personal preference I completely understand.


LA, thank you for bringing this up. It is something I have dealt with twice. It is no secret that I have always been attracted to younger women for various reasons that don't apply to this topic. I have had two serious relationships that lasted quite awhile and both were with women roughly the same age as my kids, give or take a few years. With neither woman was the age an important factor in beginning the relationship nor in ending it. It was their personal qualities as human beings that mattered.

Now, that being said. Regardless of their age I am still my children's mother. I run my life, not they. Granted, I am careful who and what they are exposed to but the reasons have nothing at all to do with age. I just refuse to bring unasked for drama into their lives. It was only after I knew the woman was going to be someone important to me, that I brought the two facets of my life together. No different than most responsible single parents that date, it's just that my personal situation is slightly different in a few ways.

There are two sides to this situation. Will this new person treat my children in a manner that is acceptable to me, and with adult children, demanding they treat someone that is important to me, in a respectful manner. Regardless of age, my kids will always have boundaries. Them attempting to run my personal life is definately a big one. It is a bit of an agreement of sorts, I don't bring unwanted negative crap into their lives with my choices and they are not allowed to meddle in my life.


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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 8:50:48 AM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		I agree Albatross, for personal reasons that i just cant get into verbally or in writing.  

My age is why i'm not in a relationship, why i'm always just another play partner rather than being a significant other so to speak.  There's nothing wrong with that so dont take me the wrong way there, it's just most of us on this site know that subs and slaves tend to fall in love with their owners, that emotion is probably the one thing an Owner can not control.

Age, is why I dont make the average salary for someone in my field of work, it's why I have a 9% interest rate even though I have perfect credit, it's the reason for a lot of things.   Sure it's not fair but I guess that's part of life.  I will keep being true to myself, no one in the world could stop me from doing that, success in life is my goal and I refuse to stop pursueing that for anyone, we can all agree that most relationships these days are not forever and no Dominant could ever steer me away from that knowledge alone, i'm not giving my career up to 5 years later be kicked out in the cold because the guy is bored and wants someone new, and then have to search for a job and hear over and over again you havn't worked in five years, we'll give you the job but you'll be making entry level pay of $25k rather than the average salary of $50k + that most people in your field recieve and what you once made before you left your prior position. 

Ok I'm going off topic so I'll shut up now.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 9:00:19 AM   
peepeegirl5


Posts: 214
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		Age a deciding factor..?

hmmmm... well, my mom interfere's in my life with this "premature expansion of consciousness" spewage, but then she, prolly like all mom's, believes she owns my pussy.

Actually, the deciding factor for me is virtuosity.

It's how accomplished, strong, fierce, daring she is... I value a bareback rider in a circus (who lives in a shed), far more than some attorney chxx whose pussy smells like clorox and whose face is frozen with the beauty toxin because she's too weak to break the media hold from her mind.

Blessings and intense sexual bliss to all women and males who recognize their true role.

Domina Sancti


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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 9:02:27 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Jessy's mom has got it goin' on.

Rick Springfield

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 9:10:40 AM   
peepeegirl5


Posts: 214
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		Until you wake up next to the blob four months later :)

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RE: Why is age such a deciding factor for many women? - 6/14/2007 9:19:34 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peepeegirl5

Actually, the deciding factor for me is virtuosity.

It's how accomplished, strong, fierce, daring she is... I value a bareback rider in a circus (who lives in a shed), far more than some attorney chxx whose pussy smells like clorox and whose face is frozen with the beauty toxin because she's too weak to break the media hold from her mind.




Wow...this makes the second time i agree with you peepeegirl5 ~

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(in reply to peepeegirl5)
Profile   Post #: 60
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