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RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 2:01:59 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

OK OK LA I'll stop with the gushing, LOL.



i think it is quite wonderful

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There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 2:17:43 PM   
CitizenCane


Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant


My questions:
Do Masters/Dominants enter into relationships perfect themselves?

Do all Master/s/Dominants assume the slaves/submissives are lacking in these areas?

Who helps the Masters/Dominants...
  • Make them all that they can be and then allow them to exceed that
  • lead them towards a better and more full life
  • Improve their life as an individual
  • flourish in their mastery
  • with their understanding of themselves and their desires
  • reach goals
  • capitalize on their strengths, to help them overcome their weaknesses and to help them blossom like a flower.
Why do so many people focus on 'improving' the slave/submissive but overlook improving the Dominant/Master?


Doms certainly aren't perfect, but this doesn't imply that they get the same things from their subs that the subs get from them.  Assuming, for a moment, a relationship in which the above-mentioned elements of personal growth are a goal (they aren't always), it's reasonable for dom and sub to look for complementary partners rather than identical ones. Many people are in a position to teach, guide, etc, because they have already passed through the stages that their partner is in, others are just more adept at figuring things out themselves, and others seek their guidance outside their relationship. People learn and grow in many different styles, so there's no particular reason to expect doms and subs to follow the same paths in a relationship.  It seems to me that one of the basic ideas of D/s or M/s is a division of labor/role. It shouldn't be surprising if this sometimes extends to issues of personal development.


(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 2:19:19 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Oh I forgot- often it's also because the dom is insecure and hides the insecurity behind his/her illusion of perfection.

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(in reply to CitizenCane)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 2:34:20 PM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		lol. We were talking about this very thing this week. i had a bad case of 'i'm not good enough for You' this week, not because of anything He has done, just my own insecurities which bring me down sometimes. He said that He is not perfect and He never wanted perfection. He sought the 'perfect' woman for Him, one that would be His lover and wife as well as His submissive and He has found her. We really do feel that we complete each other and this is a new feeling for both of us.We are constantly learning and growing together and with that our love for each other is growing stronger daily.
c

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 2:37:22 PM   
CitizenCane


Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Oh I forgot- often it's also because the dom is insecure and hides the insecurity behind his/her illusion of perfection.


Ummm... was that directed at me, or was it a mere accident of the 'reply to' function?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 2:37:51 PM   
Adelphus


Posts: 87
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The problem is all the people responding are, at least at this moment, in happy fulfilling cooperative relationships. :)

Say what now?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 2:42:39 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CitizenCane

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Oh I forgot- often it's also because the dom is insecure and hides the insecurity behind his/her illusion of perfection.


Ummm... was that directed at me, or was it a mere accident of the 'reply to' function?



I wont worry too much about it. She's just grinding her "Anti Submissive Stereotype" Axe. I doubt it was aimed at you in particular =)

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(in reply to CitizenCane)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 2:48:12 PM   
CitizenCane


Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit



I wont worry too much about it. She's just grinding her "Anti Submissive Stereotype" Axe. I doubt it was aimed at you in particular =)


I wasn't worried, just puzzled.



(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 2:49:39 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LightHeartedMaam

I'm getting rather weary of the occasion submissive posts that  put down the very dominance they so seek.  The only disappointment they experience are the result of their own "fuzzies".  Save face-blame the Dom/me. 


Was this comment directed specifically to me?


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Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to LightHeartedMaam)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 2:51:49 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

If a slave cant grow with the Master then the slave has grown out of use.


And the reverse? If a Master cannot grow with the slave then the Master has grown out of use?


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Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to AlphaMaster666)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 3:00:16 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

After my slave collar was removed, we had a chance to talk and spend time as Master and slave. she felt so much more grounded because she now knows that she can trust me to do what I feel is my path, which means I am being true to OUR path. Instead of breaking us or even damaging us, the situation made us much stronger.

she could have begged me to not do it. she could have left the event. she could refused to give up the protocol for the weekend. But she didn't. And, because she honored me and my decision, it solidified a little more to me what it means to be not only A Master, but HER Master.

Master Fire



Greetings Master Fire,
i was so touched by your post. It must have been such a beautiful and powerful experience~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 3:00:29 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Because bottoms don't write profiles that say "I will help you grow"


I can imagine the rude responses from twue Masters if some slave/submissive did put this in their profile. grin~gasp


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Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 3:18:25 PM   
littlekitten1


Posts: 160
Status: offline 		Meh... Im too new, so take what you want, but this is just me experience and opinion.
My dom helps me in many ways. I help my dom too... I know his problems, imperfection and insecurities. And he knows mine. I help him overcome insecurities like looks and social stuff or whatever. He does help me grow and understand and feel good about who I am.
I believe both parts give something to each other. Just not the same. Some doms don't need to feel nurtured and some subs dont need to care for their dom in that sense. But if the two lovers are truly bonded, I believe they both help each other in some way or another

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 3:19:12 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Elegant... I love your last two comments! lol

I am very happy that my non perfect submissive, accepts his non perfect mistress and we have fun sharing and learning and growing together as a couple. 

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 4:10:45 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Does not a person enter a relationship looking for something to complete themselves, whatever that something may be?

Stefan

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 4:32:29 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline 		"Mini me, you complete me..."

Sorry, that was really the first thing that popped into my head.

C~


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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 6:32:23 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The quick answer, in My opinion, is yes.  Each person brings different strengths and weaknesses to the dynamic.  I'm human.  That means that I come like all other humans.  Some are personality traits, some are skill levels.  I could bore you to death by listing them all, but I won't.
 
Like everyone else, I need to learn and grow.  I am not perfect.  I hope someone corrects My attitude the day I think I am without flaws.  It's great to try to be the best you can be, but chasing perfection is a lot of work, and a lot of stress trying to live up to the fantasy of perfection.  I'd much rather be a person.
 
Since the people who are closest to Us in Our lives have the most impact, wouldn't it be a natural form of progression, that in fact, My submissive would
 
  • Make Me all that I can be and then allow Me to exceed that
  • lead Me towards a better and more full life
  • Improve My life as an individual
  • flourish in My mastery
  • with My understanding of Myself and My desires
  • reach goals
  • capitalize on My strengths, to help Me overcome My weaknesses and to help Me blossom
     
     
    As a side note, My thanks to Elegant for the post.  Also thanks for the beautiful stories from Archer and MasterFireMaam.

    < Message edited by LadyPact -- 6/14/2007 6:33:05 PM >

    (in reply to Elegant)
    • Profile   Post #: 57
    RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 7:01:45 PM   
    imthatacheyouhav


    Posts: 1259
    Joined: 4/16/2007
    Status: offline     		According to what my Master tells me, He has grown since knowing me. He tells me that He has learned much from me. I am humbled when i hear this, i feel like i am the one that has benefited so much here. He tells me He has grown spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, LOL and His kinks have expanded! but see, i feel exactly the same way...He has taught me so much i have seen and done more...and opened up more...and touched my submissiveness more than i ever had imagined i could...i am just honored that He is learning from me as well.

    _____________________________

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    (in reply to LadyPact)
    Profile   Post #: 58
    RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 8:13:03 PM   
    LightHeartedMaam


    Posts: 296
    Joined: 5/12/2007
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Elegant

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LightHeartedMaam

    I'm getting rather weary of the occasion submissive posts that  put down the very dominance they so seek.  The only disappointment they experience are the result of their own "fuzzies".  Save face-blame the Dom/me. 


    Was this comment directed specifically to me?


    There have been several posts in this same vein in the past.  You are just another submissive asking a similar question is all..  I have not responded in the past, I just decided to put my two cents in on this one :)

    _____________________________

    Now that I'm older, I thought it was great that it seems I have more patience. Turns out, that I just don't give a sh*t.

    (in reply to Elegant)
    Profile   Post #: 59
    RE: Help...we need somebody - 6/14/2007 8:39:46 PM   
    PassionateTulip


    Posts: 40
    Joined: 5/15/2007
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Elegant
    Why do so many people focus on 'improving' the slave/submissive but overlook improving the Dominant/Master?


    It is my personal belief that without discipline in one's life one cannot Dominate or lead another. Discipline is merely teaching. I always take the chance to learn something, even if merely taking in a new bit of information with a grain of salt. If I was not willing to learn I would not be worthy of teaching, in my opinion.

    My pet needs to grow and improve as much as I do. We could be perfectly happy as we are, but we would be much happier with growth, together.

    Tulip

    (in reply to Elegant)
    Profile   Post #: 60
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