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ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

Some of us are NOT allowed to associate with anyone with a felony or the like, so its in our best interest to know. I'm not paranoid, I like my job and what I do, so if someone got offended that I ran a check on them, it would sent flags up in my head, 'what do they have to hide?' I run the check, and the ONLY things that I get sent are if they have any felonies, strikes, or anything that has to do with children as well as violence; otherwise, I don't get anything. I talk to potential partners before I decide to meet them, so the check is just normal for me. If it counts out a potential partner because he is bothered that I have to know that, then we cannot be together. Its for my saftey as much as it is for my munchkin's. I tell those that have a fit to run a check on ME if they are upset, a few have and they find nothing, why, because I am a 'good girl.' I am also VERY open, I have nothing to hide.

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ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

...so if someone got offended that I ran a check on them, it would sent flags up in my head, 'what do they have to hide?'

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ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

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ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty
...so if someone got offended that I ran a check on them, it would sent flags up in my head, 'what do they have to hide?'

For many, what they get upset about is the invasion of privacy, if you've run the check without their knowledge or consent. Yes, all the stuff is public knowledge, so you don't really NEED their knowledge or consent, but for many, it's still a privacy issue. I'm fairly sure that my girl would have stopped the relationship if I'd done this as she's a remnant of the "true" hippy days.

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I just ran a background check on myself here in NC. Using just my name and birthdate.

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ORIGINAL: Stephann

Background checks...

I don't think we're more (or less) entitled to run a check in the lifestyle, than we are in the vanilla world.  Legally, we have the right to run a check on whomever we wish.  We might check against various databases, hire a private dectective, etc etc.  The problem with checks, is it suggests an inherent distrust.

A woman who says to me "nothing personal, but I do this with everyone" might not be singling me out, but it still demonstrates that she refuses to trust me at face value.  I doubt seriously I would pursue a woman who was so paranoid, not because I mind her checking on me, but because it suggests a whole host of other issues she may have.  Certainly, she may have a very good reason to do so; that doesn't make me feel any less at arms length.

I'm honest about my mistakes in the past, and own up to them.  If a woman felt my word requires verification from a state or federal authority, than I just don't think I'd be right for her.  Naturally, there will be ten men willing to step forward to take my place in her life.

As Fire suggests, though, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.  I wouldn't get involved with a woman who I felt I needed to run a check on.  If I thought there were lies or inconsistancies, I would probably confront her on them.  If she doesn't satisfy my concerns completely, that's a deal breaker.  I would expect her to do the same.

Stephan

You know, I work in law enforcement. Lots of folks are VERY good con artists (I deal with them every day). They can seem extremely likeable and trustable...and seeing as how socializing with a felon can end my career (which is a top priority in my life), I choose to be better safe than sorry. You can't ask a person to jeapordize their career just to keep from hurting your feelings.

I get caught hanging out with felon and my job is over. Period. "I didn't know" is not a defense to the prosecution

Has nothing to do with being a drama queen and everything about protecting my livelihood. I don't know about you guys, but I can't afford to lose my job!

I don't work in a position with access to national criminal records (I only have access to county), but both my parents have access as well as several friends...only takes about 2min to call my mother and say "Hey pull this dude up and tell me what you find." Why not? Like I said, I always ask permission first.

I know it's no guarantee that you'll find everything, but at least if I can say I tried to look it up, should I end up getting in trouble at work for hanging out with this person.

My mother is a Lt. and she does all the background investigations for her dept...she's an expert in it. She's not just going to find the public record of convictions...she's going to find all the charges, plea bargains, deferred adjudications, dropped charges, etc. She's pretty darn good at it.

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P.S. Just had another thought. If you can run a check just with name and DOB, what's to stop anyone from giving you a false DOB? Wouldn't it just show no record and leave you thinking that person simply had no conviction record...as I suppose is true of most people? Or am I missing something? Please educate me.