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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/19/2007 4:07:29 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		GeekyGirl,

Keep in mind, I'm speaking generally.  There are, naturally, exceptions to every rule, and I'd take it on a case by case basis.

Stephan


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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/19/2007 9:00:33 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName


P.S. Just had another thought. If you can run a check just with name and DOB, what's to stop anyone from giving you a false DOB? Wouldn't it just show no record and leave you thinking that person simply had no conviction record...as I suppose is true of most people? Or am I missing something? Please educate me.





That's just it..you don't know. Con artist and assholes know the game and know how to work it most the time. It's the roll of the dice.

Bottom line is... you just don't know what you're getting yourself into. TRUST your own instincts first and for most.

As for the rest of it... hell some of the best are bested by others.

Trust is a two way street. You either have it or you don't. And you don't know till you try it. Sometimes it works... sometimes it's too late when you find out.

But for those that HAVE to know right away... too much personal information... ummm... best of luck to ya. Because while you are being safe and protecting........ so are the ones you're wanting to run checks on. And asking for personal information BEFORE a meet... (shakes head)... I personally think the one who gives it up just as fast as someones asking for it.... well perhaps they're a match after all...(bites tongue)

Vanailla or BDSM... if your life depends on knowing when someone farted last... might be time to rethink things. Cause there are a few people out there that granted may of been stupid at one time... paid their price... learned from it... that go slipping past. (No not refering to me either here) And unfortunately the one you are grasping for now... is the one who is the devil in disguise, that just hasn't been caught yet.

Now I think this is a subject that though needed to be looked into deeper... has turned damn near into a witch hunt.

So much for trusting people.... (starts handing out HIV some testing kits and DNA samples kits.).....Cause if ya can't trust them on criminal backgrounds.... how can you trust them on anything else?

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 12:29:08 PM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what the point of this thread really is...I only know how I feel about the whole issue of police checks and I understand how some others feel about it. And I don't think anyone is necessarily wrong in the way they feel or believe. And I do know that for some people, for various reasons, these checks are a means of discovering information they may need in order to keep their jobs and themselves and/or UMs safe...and I have no problems with that. Personally, I have not yet done a police check on anyone, and I doubt that I ever will. Not because I trust all people implicitly...but because I just don't want to get started down this road. I do the best I can at all times to keep myself safe, as hopefully, do we all. So, if a person feels they must run a check on someone and that someone balks at the idea and refuses to give information...well, move on to the next. My only concern is about the folks who 1) give false information and 2) are clever psychopaths who simply haven't been caught yet. But again, we can only do our best in protecting ourselves and the rest is left to fate...or whatever.


MNN

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 3:37:44 PM   
Petronius


Posts: 289
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		The idea of "running a background check" on somebody often sounds terribly safe and utterly reasonable, providing you're the one who is going to run the check.

I find it distasteful.

Over the years I've only run into two potential partners who wanted to do it and asked for various information that would, they claimed, let them.

As luck had it I had decided I wasn't particularly interested in any follow through with either of them. Given my distaste for their suddenly announced propensity to check, I thought I'd respond with a little "gentile and gentle hostility."

I told them I only knew three basic ways they could run a check.

The first was to pay lots and lots of money to some commercial firm who could do a good job. The "fifty dollar special" at detective-bozo.com just doesn't do it.

The second was for them or an acquaintance involved with the criminal justice system to misuse their governmental authority to run the check and, in so doing, probably commit at least one major felony in this misuse of authority.

The third was similar to the second, involving commercial databases and a somewhat different type of felony.

I told them that if they were planning on using the second or third methods that we didn't have a future because I was not interesting in any relationship with somebody who so casually commits crimes.

Then I pointed out that while the first was quite expensive I'd assume that was the method they'd use.

Like most Doms I think I'm pretty good; like many Doms I know I'm not that great. So I asked them what was so special about me that they'd want to shell out all that money ... on the basis of the first date! I just couldn't see anybody thinking I'm so damn special that they didn't want to wait for two, even three, dates before spending all of that money.

Then I added that they should probably give me a list of their bank and brokerage accounts so I could run some background info on them. Better, there was probably a notary public at one of the drugstores or other places close by so we could get a "permission to release" information all nicely done up in legal style. Then, since there are so many diseases around that so many people lie about, it would probably be wise if she'd give me a release for her medical records as well.

What's fair for the goose is fair for the gander. One may or may not believe Quo Licit Jovi, Non Licit Bovi but you have to be a schmuck on wheels to reverse it.

Both announced they were "insulted" by this. I responded, wide-eyed with tongue-in-cheek, "Why? You brought up 'background check.' I didn't. Is it insulting that I have the knowledge to run my own background checks? I thought you valued intelligence in a Dom!"

But, as I said earlier, I had already decided I wasn't interested in either of them.

So background checks? Comeon. Let's be serious. When's the last time you heard of anybody getting chopped up by somebody they just met in some "Scene" arena?

Petronius

PS: I've never said people aren't ground up in our play area. But every case I've run into involved people who had known each other for a while, where one of the partners was an incredibly abusive asshole, and where the other knew that and stayed with the incredibly abusive asshole.



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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 3:55:39 PM   
goodgirl85


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		I may be showing a bit of ignorance here but-- Can you run a background check for free? Or do you have to pay? I can't afford to pay for them, and have always been under the impression that they are things to be paid for?
I generally just listen to wordings, and how they answer questions, if they answer questions. I save emails, and my yahoo message archive is always on. I tend to perodically go back and read them all. A few times a few red flags have popped up in doing so. I also will repeat questions. I may ask one day when your birthday is. If you don't tell me the truth then you probably won't remember the date and will give me another the next time I ask, which would be in a month or two if we are still talking.
I also always listen for clues when talking about people's pasts. I do take into consideration that some people have bad histories that really have nothing to do with them being a bad person and may not want to share. But I tell them when talking that if i touch on a subject they don't want to talk about or answer just to say so.

I give honesty and expect nothing but honesty in return but I do pay attention to the small things, cuz that is where you will catch someone.


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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 4:07:04 PM   
MasterDesire


Posts: 45
Joined: 1/20/2005
Status: offline 		Hello  to all   Being in law enforcement  yes you can and should  check out anyone you meet on the net. If you know someone from you own area that is different. I have found a few here having gone in the court system and now out. YES depending on how far you like to go you can spend a bunch. Yes you can do some basic searches such as court records and other public info on line for under $50. You can also go to any court house and request info. I would never allow anyone from the net  to get any private info about me until I am sure they are honest and there are ways to do tht as well by asking questions in different ways and either getting the same answer or another version of the same answer. That would be a red flag for me. Safety is and always will be yours to control. Many here are have domestic violence charges and records. SO be careful. One thign I will never condone is abuse either in or out of the life Also never give out address phone numbers or your SS number until your sure about the person  Stay Safe

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 4:07:31 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		If you expect me to partake in the complete idiocy of a background check prior to a first time face to face meeting with a stranger, then I will fully be expecting to do one on you.

And when I do that background check...prior to our face to face meeting....then you will be giving me, a complete stranger, by default, access to all the information regarding all those things you are running a background check to protect...your job, your family, your children....

And then when you object to me running a background check, I'll say "Well...gee....what the hell do you have to hide?"

Because...if you give me enough personal information that will allow me to pull up a criminal record, I can pull up a hell of a lot of other things too....

Its a face off between two paranoid Net monkeys...both people want to run background checks, but neither one wants to reveal enough private information prior to a first time meet in the chance that the other person might be a psycho stalker.

In my honest and complete opinion, the idea of background checks prior to a first time meet is a bunch of crap created by Drama Queens who dont have enough perspective to realize that they are...in fact...a stranger to the person they are running a background check on and that stranger might just not be trustworthy enough to receive personal information.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 6/20/2007 4:13:12 PM >

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 4:33:14 PM   
queencaliph


Posts: 131
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		I think some people have the wrong idea about what a criminal background check is.  The information is a matter of public record.  We have a local tabloid here in town that publishes the name of every single person arrested each week in our city.  You can get this information at your courthouse simply by asking for it. (Freedom of Information Act) they usually charge nothing (unless you need a copy of something) and the information only gives you criminal information, nothing like back account numbers and credit history.  Only arrests, convictions and things of that nature. 

BTW- Here is one easy and free "type" of background check.  Most every state has an online sex offender registry.  My state website even posts pictures and whether or not they have pending warrants.  Anyone can check and see if someone they know is a registered sex offender by looking it up online.  No cost and all you need is a name.  That is unless you want to scroll through all of the mug shots.  Try it, you'll be surprised at what you find.

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 4:37:08 PM   
Bonafied


Posts: 16
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		Doing an NCIC offers very little in terms of identifying the content of character. At best using federal or state information sources, ( law enforcement) credit reporting agencies and so-called information verifier’s, offers only data that is highly challengeable.
As a geek, it seems to you should have better sources of data gathering the often faulty FBI/CIA background checks.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 4:42:27 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		I've already said my piece, but on reflection I think the reason I'm opposed to it, is I approach the internet like I would a coffee shop.  If I met someone at a coffee shop and felt compelled to ask her on a more serious date, I wouldn't ask for or expect to exchange information sufficiant for a background check.  Someone who asked my SSN or Drivers license number over coffee would have to have a pretty convincing reason to need it.  It simply isn't a socially acceptable request.

Stephan


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Men: Find a Woman here

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 4:50:55 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

I've already said my piece, but on reflection I think the reason I'm opposed to it, is I approach the internet like I would a coffee shop.  If I met someone at a coffee shop and felt compelled to ask her on a more serious date, I wouldn't ask for or expect to exchange information sufficiant for a background check.  Someone who asked my SSN or Drivers license number over coffee would have to have a pretty convincing reason to need it.  It simply isn't a socially acceptable request.

Stephan


 
I ALMOST agree with you Stephan....
 
I don't think there's a good enough reason out there to get this information from me over a first cup of coffee.. gonna take a couple of pots of coffee to get that type of information out of me.

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 4:51:00 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		And it still doesnt matter to me.

I am very hesitant to give out my last name up until the point we actually have the first meeting.

Once we have the first meeting and I can let my intuition and gut instinct draw some kind of conclusion, then you can have some personal information regarding me.

Also, I am not talking about bank account numbers and credit card history. If you give someone enough personal information to check public records, they have enough information to find out about your job and your family...the two very things that all the people advocating background checks prior to first meetings are trying to protect.

Given all the "Joe Smiths" in the world, I find it very hard to beleive that one could require accurate information off the public record without a DL or SSN number.

And once someone has that, they can get nearly anything about you.

Anyone who would ask that of me prior to a first meeting or even during a first meeting is an instant and utter red flagger.

If your first meet is in a very public place with a basic safecall in place and you dont go running off to their house for a night of humping and grinding, then needing a background check is mostly to soothe your own paranoia.




< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 6/20/2007 4:56:04 PM >

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 5:46:09 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bonafied

Doing an NCIC offers very little in terms of identifying the content of character. At best using federal or state information sources, ( law enforcement) credit reporting agencies and so-called information verifier’s, offers only data that is highly challengeable.
As a geek, it seems to you should have better sources of data gathering the often faulty FBI/CIA background checks.



If it's good enough for TCLEOSE, it's good enough for me. Again, I'm not really worried about the content of his character. I can ascertain that on my own. There are plenty of people with criminal histories who are EXCELLENT people and I would hang out with them in a heart beat and even date them IF I did not work in law enforcement.

It's about being able to say  to IAD that "I ran a background on him...I thought he was clean." Keeps me from losing my job should it turn out that I get brought up on internal charges of associating with a felon.

BTW, the term "geek" is in reference to my penchant for anime and dungeons and dragons...which has absolutely nothing to do with the subject at hand, so I'm not sure why you are bringing it up.

< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 6/20/2007 5:52:35 PM >

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 5:49:00 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

If you expect me to partake in the complete idiocy of a background check prior to a first time face to face meeting with a stranger, then I will fully be expecting to do one on you.

And when I do that background check...prior to our face to face meeting....then you will be giving me, a complete stranger, by default, access to all the information regarding all those things you are running a background check to protect...your job, your family, your children....

And then when you object to me running a background check, I'll say "Well...gee....what the hell do you have to hide?"

Because...if you give me enough personal information that will allow me to pull up a criminal record, I can pull up a hell of a lot of other things too....

Its a face off between two paranoid Net monkeys...both people want to run background checks, but neither one wants to reveal enough private information prior to a first time meet in the chance that the other person might be a psycho stalker.

In my honest and complete opinion, the idea of background checks prior to a first time meet is a bunch of crap created by Drama Queens who dont have enough perspective to realize that they are...in fact...a stranger to the person they are running a background check on and that stranger might just not be trustworthy enough to receive personal information.


quote:

I am very hesitant to give out my last name up until the point we actually have the first meeting


Well you'd hate me then. Prior to a first meeting, I write down full name, date of birth, make, model, and license # of vehicle, and driver's license #. I print it all out and hand it to my mother so she has the info in case something happens.

Never had a guy object to it yet.

And it has nothing to do with being a paranoid net monkey...if I met a guy at Walmart, I'd ask for his info too before going out alone with him.


< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 6/20/2007 5:51:19 PM >

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 5:51:40 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Would you provide all such information to me? If so, then we have something we can work off of.

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Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 5:53:30 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Would you provide all such information to me? If so, then we have something we can work off of.


I would in a heart beat, if you were someone I was seriously considering meeting in real time.

Good for the goose is good for the gander...


_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 6:51:12 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		i've never ran a criminal background check on anyone in my entire life, and highly doubt i ever will...

i figure it this way: if i'm that fucking paranoid or such a bad judge of character, then i'd be better off not dating at all, let alone incorporating bdsm or d/s into the mix!

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 7:10:07 PM   
queencaliph


Posts: 131
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		Geekgirl, I work in Law Enforcement also.  I think our level of caution is one of those things that goes along with the profession.  To everyone else we seem paranoid.  But I am always aware that IA can nose around in my private life at any time.  Not to mention that whole feeling of living in a "fish-bowl".  So for us, its not paranoia; "Big Brother" really IS watching.

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/20/2007 7:12:25 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have never asked about the criminal background of my Daddy, he has never asked about mine. I could have done research on this anytime I liked, I never have. I feel he would not be so upfront with leaving so much personally identifying information lying around for me if he had something to hide, and I have went through years of his paperwork in order to help him organize his office and life... I have not found anything resembling a lurid past.

I suppose he could be married to 4 different women in 3 states... have bank robbery and arson in his past, but not in the last decade. I know he has security clearances, and they do not hand those out to criminals.

If he told me anything now, I would put it into context of who he is today. But I do not feel he owes it to me to tell me unless it could impact my life... and about the only thing I can think of that would be a deal breaker would be having to register where he lived because he was a sex offender or something of that nature... but like I said, they do not give security clearances to sex offenders

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RE: Criminal BackGround Part 2 - 6/21/2007 1:37:47 AM   
themischievous1


Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline 		I'm quite comfortable asking for a criminal background check before becoming physically intimate/playing with said individual, but then I have a young unmentionable so this is a priority for me before said individual would even be invited over to my home. And then of course, there's std testing to deal with before physical intimacy or play as well. It's definitely a reasonable expectation after a few months of dating, in my opinion, to request a criminal background check, and it's a must if you have little ones in your home.

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