RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not.

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RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 7:52:19 PM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alighierisquest
It's also a kind of gift to the sub, "My master took the time tailor these rules for me and only me." Trying to speed the whole process up by having most of it pre-written strikes me as form letterish but, like aformented letters, it may be necessary out of time constraints.

We have our 'generic' list, for lack of a better term, though when our little flower was here last, we went over everything and tailored the rules and contract to be for her. But having an outline helped in the process alot. We also allowed her the chance to add things that were important to her to the contract. It is a process that works well for us.

1st girl Phoenix

< Message edited by DragonNphoenix -- 6/19/2007 7:55:43 PM >

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to Alighierisquest)

Post #: 41

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 7:55:06 PM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

What if rule number 27 is that she must wear a collar at all times but her job forbids it? Would you toss out this perfect sub because she can't follow #27?

No, we would not... that is why you customize the rules for the individual slave/sub that you are dealing with.

1st girl Phoenix

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 42

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 8:09:58 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I am only interesting in amazing and unique women and they are all unique. There is no way to create a list of rules that would fit them. There are a few things I like that I tend to do but even those vary. They do all give good head though although my ex just couldn't handle me and anal sex very often so even those things vary.

I prefer to be in love with my partner rather than my rules.

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)

Post #: 43

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 8:19:14 PM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I prefer to be in love with my partner rather than my rules.

I thought that bore repeating :)

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 44

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 8:50:15 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Once again the male dom gets the credit while the fem slave is ignored- didn't I say nearly the same thing back on page 1?

*wink @ Michael*

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to charlotte12)

Post #: 45

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 9:14:36 PM

octavia

Posts: 377
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Once again the male dom gets the credit while the fem slave is ignored- didn't I say nearly the same thing back on page 1?

*wink @ Michael*

Yeah!
pfft.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 46

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 9:23:56 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

LA, at least you knew I am THE male dom!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 47

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 9:29:56 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

i'm right with you on this. It is very sexy, for me, to know that i'm under the absolute control of my Master all the time. That's why i stay in a heightened state of sexual arousal even when i'm just doing my chores. i atively sought a TPE relationship to fulfill my need for structure. my Master spelled out the rules that i would be required to live by, if i became His slave (which i did), in an email and then reiterated them in O/our phone conversations before W/we ever met. It excited me so much just to read and hear Him tell me what His rules for me were going to be. i couldn't wait to start living under His Rule and have my life structured by Him.

It isn't a rigid structure, i live by, there's plenty of room for being flexible, but not having to guess what it is that i'm expected and required to do is a huge relief for me. i don't have a written list of rules, unless i go back and pull up the old email my Master sent to me. i keep the list is in my head. It's not a super long or complicated list and there's room for adjustments, when life gets out of whack sometimes and throws a curve ball when i'm ready for a fast ball (yes, i like baseball). It's so nice knowing what i need to do, rather than guess or ask all the time.

____________
slave joy
Owned property of Master David

"..and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."
-- F. Nietzsche

quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

I believe i would like some structure...giving up control is a huge turn on for me so i think i would thrive with some rules...however, i am also just as happy serving my Master the way He wants me to now...The bottom line for me is, no matter if i have no rules or many..i feel Masters control...and its hot....The rules would just be an added hottness....

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 48

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 9:32:09 PM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Just because one doesn't have a list of rules in hand doesn't mean they won't be able to very well handle a surprise situation if it comes upon them.

It might have taken my stupid ass 10 months to figure out how awesome my partner was, but it was an overnight realization when it happened on my part. Same thing when we started switching. Before that happened, neither of us had even THOUGHT about "what if..." then BOOM, it happened.

I don't build my life based on rules- I build my life based on relationships. It doesn't matter to me what rules are or are not in place as long as everyone is fulfilled. A Ms relationship can exist for decades without EVER having a solid list or "This is how it is" In fact I tend to find that the relationships which cling to lists of rules most end up having the most trouble just being happy together.

I have realized the errors of my ways and i thought i should point out that LA did in fact say pretty much the same thing. perhaps she inspired SimplyMichael and should get credit for his post.

lol...or maybe it's just that you make so many good posts LA it's too hard to quote them all.

i feel myself digging myself in deeper so i'll quit now...I enjoy reading both your posts.

~charlotte

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 49

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 9:34:05 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Aww Charlotte keep digging, makes me feel real good and adored as I should be ;)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to charlotte12)

Post #: 50

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 9:45:37 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
I prefer to be in love with my partner rather than my rules.

That's really beautiful. No doubt, your partner appreciates you for that, too. But, for me, i am not my Master's partner. i am my Master's slave. i feel my Master's love and caring for me through His control and discipline of me. That means more to me than romantic love. i've had that before and it never seems to last. But, rules and structure and discipline are lasting, in my life. They are the touchstones of my slavery and help to keep me grounded in my life.
____________
slave joy
Owned property of Master David

"..and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."
-- F. Nietzsche

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 51

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 11:15:03 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I am only interesting in amazing and unique women and they are all unique. There is no way to create a list of rules that would fit them. There are a few things I like that I tend to do but even those vary. They do all give good head though although my ex just couldn't handle me and anal sex very often so even those things vary.

I prefer to be in love with my partner rather than my rules.

SimplyMichael,

I totally see where you are coming from. However, did you ever stop to consider those slaves/submissives that it would just make their day complete to recieve a set of rules. That to them it's an expression of how much you care about the relationship. Being handed a set of basic or extended rules can in fact be a demonstration of commitment towards the relationship.

As difficult as it may seem, rules can in fact be a great expression of love and dedication towards what is going on. For others, it may be their worse nightmare coming true. What would you do, if your submissive/slave were to ask you for rules? That she wanted to know exactly what you expected from her with some thought involved. Not everbody views rules as a loveless act, think some of the posting from a few on the thread show another side of the coin.

I'm certain there are some loveless M/s relationships that don't have a set written rules as well. I've seen a number profiles on the otherside of slaves, submissives and masters expressing a deep desire for loveless relationships. I think it's pretty much different strokes for different folks here.

I totally agree with rules being somewhat unique from relationship to relationship. In terms of Anal sex, well... I was not thinking about Anal Sex being part of a rule set. That's more activity limit...Geeesh... I'm having images of a list becoming longer than the one Santa is shown holding in his hands. I suppose some people can take it to that extreme it they desire! Call it a rule fetish..

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 52

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/19/2007 11:51:09 PM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I don't build my life based on rules- I build my life based on relationships.

We have a winner, folks.

OK, now who gets to hand out the Big Lucky Stuffed Bear to the lovely lady?

(in reply to Faramir)

Post #: 53

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/20/2007 12:12:44 AM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile

I totally see where you are coming from. However, did you ever stop to consider those slaves/submissives that it would just make their day complete to recieve a set of rules. That to them it's an expression of how much you care about the relationship. Being handed a set of basic or extended rules can in fact be a demonstration of commitment towards the relationship.

W/we have met several sub/slaves that asked for our rules before any further negotiations would happen. They wanted to be sure that they could live by them before committing even to a vist. Even had one ask to see our contract before she would meet f2f.

As for what you put in your rules.. that is unique to you. Some do have rules regarding anal sex and such. Hell, we have one that says 'slave will learn to make sushi'. To each their own.

1st girl Phoenix

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 54

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/20/2007 12:18:36 AM

ocilla

Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix My Master and i have both a set of rules and an initial contract that we work with. Plus, we have questionaires and such. 1st girl Phoenix

In my professional life having a "go by" is really helpful in creating and adjusting designs etc. I am wondering if folks are willing to share sample set of rules, questionairs and contracts. If anyone knows of another thread or a good source for such material that would also be useful.

_____________________________

Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)

Post #: 55

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/20/2007 12:24:21 AM

WhiplashSmile

Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ocilla

quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix My Master and i have both a set of rules and an initial contract that we work with. Plus, we have questionaires and such. 1st girl Phoenix

In my professional life having a "go by" is really helpful in creating and adjusting designs etc. I am wondering if folks are willing to share sample set of rules, questionairs and contracts. If anyone knows of another thread or a good source for such material that would also be useful.

I'm very interested in this as well, in terms of samples, general outlines to stimulate the mind.

(in reply to ocilla)

Post #: 56

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/20/2007 12:42:56 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

My rules are really very simple:

Be honest.
Be obedient.

If there's something that needs to be added, I'll add it when the time comes.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)

Post #: 57

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/20/2007 4:23:44 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia
This being said, i'm not sure a generic set of rules drawn up before a relationship even occurs could work. At least not for me. Shouldn't a list of any kind be tailored to fit your own unique relationship?

This is more a post in general and I used Tricia's question as a jumping off point because it is a sentiment that is repeated throughout the thread and I wanted to offer a different perspective on this.

In my relationship, I did not enter it wanting to determine how he was going to exercise his authority. He decides how he is going to exercise his authority and in what areas. The standing orders and protocols that he sets up are based on what pleases him and what he wants. How he wants to be addressed, served a drink or how his house is cleaned are not going to change if he adds a new slave to the relationship. As a slave coming into his house you either accept his expectations or he is not the right master for you. Knowing those expectations ahead of time are critical to making an informed choice to submit to his will.

There are other protocols or expectations set that are unique to either me or Alandra and if he brought another slave into the house, I am sure that she would have her own unique expectations based on her strengths and weaknesses. However, his general expectations of the house will not change from relationship to relationship.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to tricia)

Post #: 58

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/20/2007 5:40:49 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

What if rule number 27 is that she must wear a collar at all times but her job forbids it? Would you toss out this perfect sub because she can't follow #27?

A rule like that indicates to me that indeed someone is living in a fantasy world.

Good rules will be more complex than one sentence because they will realize the various possibilities you may encounter.

Good rules should also, in my strong opinion, have an introductory clause that says that adjustments needed for physical limits or for mundanes necessities will be made on a case by case basis.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 59

RE: Are you prepared to lay down the Law or not. - 6/20/2007 6:06:45 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

What if rule number 27 is that she must wear a collar at all times but her job forbids it? Would you toss out this perfect sub because she can't follow #27?

A rule like that indicates to me that indeed someone is living in a fantasy world.

Good rules will be more complex than one sentence because they will realize the various possibilities you may encounter.

I agree with this... I have three basic sets of Protocals.... Casual, Standard & Formal. Each set would be required in the appropriate environment. Casual being in Mainstream Society situations... Standard being in Lifestyle aware/friendly situations and Formal is much more specific to the event.

Rules, Guidelines, Protocals, Expectations, Norms etc are complex things. Creating blank rules are generally not the answer.... but neither is flying by the sit of ones pants. Regardless of having it in a word document or just in ones minds.... we all have certain rules/guidelines/protocals/expectations/norms the like. We also have perferences and pet peeves that affect how a significant partner will interact with us and us with them. All these Rule stuff is a question of semantics... do you write it down... do you not. regardless you have them. There are things that affect how people will function within the relationship. However, the types of people will affect what rules stuff will develop as well. Things come from both directions. There is no question that because of slave X... I made Rule Y... but Rule Z is unaffected because of any slave. some things will adjust.. some things will not... Call them rules call them guidelines they all mean the same to me... and frankly ... I do care if you write them down on piece of toilet paper or keep them lock in your mind. The fact remains they exist within our relationship dynamics... it just a question of how they affect us.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 60

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