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undergroundsea -> RE: why do MISTRESSES ask for tributes ? (7/15/2007 6:10:55 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer
To me, sincerity is having read my profile and responded with intelligent conversation on one of the topics I'm interested in, even if you have to Wiki or Google it.
I agree. I think there are ways to discern sincerity from the conversation. To me, asking for tribute as a test for sincerity is similar to saying, ok, you haven't really done what I consider sincere but if you send me money, I'll humor you.
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I am not convinced that most subs are unattractive, selfish or do not provide fulfillment, which justifies asking for tribute.
Alas, that would indeed be true in my experience. The average man seeking to be "submissive" on an adult site is a pushy, horny, rude do-me jerk who has nothing to offer a dominant woman, with the possible exception of money. He leads with his dick and he's an utter pain to deal with. He might be trainable, but it's rarely worth the effort.
For clarity, I do not know to what extent or not most subs are unattractive, selfish and do not provide fulfillment ;-) What I am not convinced about is that finding someone who otherwise does not come across as compatible necessitates or justifies asking that person, and others in general, for tribute. I think the more effective solution is to instead continue to seek someone who does seem compatible.
I think an interest in BDSM is distributed across population independent of personality traits such as being selfish or not. I expect that the ratios of submissive men who seek with genuine intentions is similar to that amongst men with other preferences, and I have not heard of tribute in situations outside Fm. If empirically this ratio of genuine intentions happens to be lower than normal amongst submissive men, analytical and curious as I am, I would wonder if there are other variables that are contributing to such an outcome (sexual mindset being on at a site based on sexuality, focus on needs long unmet, the information in profiles of women geared mostly or only towards sexuality, lack of awareness about how to approach, etc).
I would think a high ratio of those who come across as offensive or pushy would help to sift through for those who are not, which is relevant to the question about whether tribute is necessary or simply convenient.
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If everyone thought like that, then the horny do-me jerks would be even more frustrated with no outlets at all, even the semi-pro outlets, and they would be likely to behave even more crudely. This would probably result in an even larger number of dominant women getting disgusted and leaving the site.
I say hooray for the pros, and the semi-pros, and anyone who is willing to put up with the do-me jerks so that I don't have to. If some women are okay taking cash or gifts on their end of the transaction so they get something out of it, I'm genuinely happy that they are around, because they reduce the asshole load in my inbox.
Now I don't have a very high opinion of "stealth pros" who sucker a guy in and then ask for money, but tribute dommes, that's an up front and honest transaction and I'm grateful that they exist.
My context for my prior post is one who says she is seeking a personal relationship and is using tribute as a means to weed out those not suitable for a personal relationship. It would be odd for some submissive men to say in person at a munch what they say in introductory emails. Similarly, I think it would be odd for a domme to say she wants $20 if a submissive man approaches her to introduce himself at a munch. In my model for a relationship, a demand for tribute seems similarly awkward to begin such a pursuit by email.
I hold an opinion similar to yours about stealth financial dommes.
I hold a positive opinion about professional dommes, and those who are indeed professional in their approach. My opinion about semi-pros is not as clearly defined because the intentions and different scenarios are not as clearly defined.
I don't think a one-time tribute is the same as semi-pro and I am not clear on what collective benefit it brings. I don't think a one-time tribute helps quell the mismatch in supply and demand or provide an opportunity for those who do not seek a relationship as professional domination does.
A relationship that requires a tribute to sustain may exist as a semi-pro relationship . I can see some semi-pro relationships to bring collective benefit as professional domination does to the extent they allow mutual needs (sexual needs and monetary needs) to be met. I see such relationships to be one form of financial domination.
I think semi-pro practice helps Fm overall because it brings women to domination who otherwise might not have come (subs, vanilla women). I think this influx helps with the mismatch in supply and demand, and some may choose to stay for the long run or, at least, become more open to the idea should they encounter the matter in romantic pursuits. That is, I think professional domination or semi-pro helps improve the Fm supply and demand ratios in the immediate and in the future.
Despite seeing this benefit, I tolerate financial domination but do not accept and embrace it. Actions speak louder than words. For me, intentions behind actions speak louder yet, and intentions matter more than the outcome. I am cynical about the intentions behind most financial domination scenarios. Amongst financial dommes are those who seek men who are social outcasts, and dommes who incorporate forced intoxication into financial domination. I have a low opinion about the ethics behind these two practices. I think financial domination provides an avenue to those who intend to exploit, which makes me generally cautious about the matter and is one reason I generally pass on profiles based on financial domination. For now, reasons to pass on financial domination exceed reasons to entertain the idea.
Cheers,
Sea
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