RE: Sub Drop: Creating a Support Network

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RE: Sub Drop: Creating a Support Network - 6/30/2007 5:18:17 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Duty2Please

I like EvaLass's observations about the usefulness of having other subs to turn to for support, and I'm a bit taken aback by how strong the negative reaction is to it. The unserious reactions from doms on this thread, frankly, aren't worth reading.

I agree completely. The broad and sweeping comments like "anyone who would need this must be that" are very short-sighted.

I could imagine myself visiting such a site, as a place for commeraderie, idea-exchange and support if I were feeling down and my dom wasn't around or couldnt relate to me as much as others who have felt the same thing could. Of if he told me that chatting with others who have experienced the same thing might be a good idea.

In theory there is nothing wrong with the idea of it all. I dont see it as any different than a message board for Smoking Cessation support, or Cancer Survivors support, or Weight Loss Support.

CM itself could be considered a bdsm support group in general. We see people supporting other people for various reasons every single day. Furthermore there have been plenty of threads here about Sub Drop that echo the OP's very idea.

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RE: Sub Drop: Creating a Support Network - 6/30/2007 5:34:07 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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The response is mostly negative because it is second best. The person you ought to be getting the support from is the person you are emotionally bonded with, your dominant. The op is worded in such a manner as if to suggest that a sub suffering from drop should go to an anonymous group instead of to their dominant. Not that if he/she's unavailable here are some other people to talk to in the meantime.

The other thing, of course, is that there already is a support network in place. You want suggestions to deal with it then or to prevent it in the future, you already have it. Right here. Search old posts, post again, ask specific questions. You'll get responses from people you already know think like you and from people you will be able to immediately discount because you know they aren't helpful. Go to a new board and you won't know who you should listen to and who you shouldn't because you won't have had the history of reading them before.

In addition, since once you've read about it, you don't need to read about it every month or week over again, it won't be like a cancer survivor network. And if you do keep getting into bad drops every time you play, disregarding suggestions to lessen drop, then what good will a support group do except to be new people to tell you that it's all your dom's fault?

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RE: Sub Drop: Creating a Support Network - 6/30/2007 5:49:00 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

The response is mostly negative because it is second best. The person you ought to be getting the support from is the person you are emotionally bonded with, your dominant.

Maybe that is who works for you. Maybe other subs enjoy getting support from other subs AND their dom, or maybe just other subs if thats what helps them get through it. I don't think I should tell anyone from whom their support should come. I think it should come from wherever works for an individual.

quote:

The op is worded in such a manner as if to suggest that a sub suffering from drop should go to an anonymous group instead of to their dominant. Not that if he/she's unavailable here are some other people to talk to in the meantime.

Your statement is actually the opposite of what the OP said. The OP said if you dom isnt available. The op did not say this would be a site designed to deal with subdrop INSTEAD of going to your dom.

quote:

The other thing, of course, is that there already is a support network in place. You want suggestions to deal with it then or to prevent it in the future, you already have it. Right here. Search old posts, post again, ask specific questions. You'll get responses from people you already know think like you and from people you will be able to immediately discount because you know they aren't helpful. Go to a new board and you won't know who you should listen to and who you shouldn't because you won't have had the history of reading them before.

In addition, since once you've read about it, you don't need to read about it every month or week over again, it won't be like a cancer survivor network. And if you do keep getting into bad drops every time you play, disregarding suggestions to lessen drop, then what good will a support group do except to be new people to tell you that it's all your dom's fault?

As far as the rest of your post, Im not sure if it's directed at me or not, but I was speaking to a specific principal and how I might find something like that useful, or see how others might find it useful.

Your entire post is a contradiction. You are saying a support group shouldnt be neccessary, then you are recommending that people seek support on the cm threads.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 6/30/2007 5:53:10 PM >

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RE: Sub Drop: Creating a Support Network - 6/30/2007 6:33:37 PM

Trampler

Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
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What if you are a single sub, and the Dom you scened with isn't yours? Unless that person is a close friend, asking them to be around in case you need cuddling (or whatever you require with aftercare.) with could and probably would send the wrong signals. So in those cases having a friend that you can call, that MAYBE you just happen to meet from such a group/website, well good then!

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Post #: 64