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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 6/30/2007 2:46:57 PM

Ayanaev717

Posts: 72
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quote:

I don't know if bi-polar would fall in this category but I would say it could because of the mood swings, if untreated or sometimes even treated you can have a bad mood swing. I have noticed sometimes in my Master gets upset with me or I can't do something he has asked of me I will break down crying and if we are in a scene that ends it because he knows the tears are from emotional bi-polar things not from the scene itself. And sometimes if I am irritable and he asks me to do something I get so mad at him, it is hard to control things like that at times. I hope this is related to what you were asking.

I hope your Master is in treatment. Depending upon how your Master cycles and what kind of bi-polar disorder he has, this could be risky for you. Especially in scenes or if this is a 24/7 situation. Please be safe.

Sincerely,

Ayanaev

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 6/30/2007 2:53:09 PM

GeekyGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Maybe that's what LA meant to say, but she also implied that everyone's baggage is equal, and that's ridiculous. Having a jeep that breaks down doesn't compare to multiple sclerosis.

You may need to look into the intent rather than the actual wording..

Does anyone else find that ironic in light of the recent asperger's conversation, lol?

With me, as an AS individual, people should not expect me to "read into" what they say. Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't expect me to sift through words searching for intent because the concept is foreign to me.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 6/30/2007 3:28:46 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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LOL if you knew much about my phobia is with cars and driving, you'd know that my comparing jeep issues is NOT at all a light comparison.

Which is the other problem- you can't compare "pain levels" like that. We're all going through life, life really sucks in a lot of ways for everyone, and we all have to find our way through it and hopefully remain true and fulfilled in ourselves.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 6/30/2007 3:31:11 PM

spanklette

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I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and have actually found it to be almost helpful, as far as tasks are concerned. In fact, once Daddy realized how my mind functions He tasked me accordingly. It may sound strange, but it's nice to know that His dominance is definitely cut to fit.

The OCD does lead to panic attacks, but such is life. It's not a fun thing to have and I certainly wouldn't wish it on anyone, but sometimes you've got to get out your lemonade pitcher...

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 6/30/2007 3:39:25 PM

adoracat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

I agree that everyone has baggage...but some baggage is optional and other types aren't.

I can hardly see comparing a broken jeep to someone with the severe issues of bipolar or aspergers.

or being financially dependant on someone else because of disability

or having illness that is NOT able to be helped with medication (at the time)

or having family situation that requires you to be *there* instead of where you would like to be....

there is a difference between the things you can change, and the things you cannot, and how those things affect your situation. yes, the water pump on my camaro can be replaced, and i will be able to drive it again. eventually.

but nothing is going to change the facts that i have arthritis, that my hip dislocates, that i have extreme difficulty walking distances most days.....and that Sir has to deal with *those* things in order to be my Dominant.

kitten, who is ever grateful he DOES.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 6/30/2007 4:07:37 PM

Lordandmaster

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How do I look into the intent when I have nothing to go by other than the wording? I still don't understand exactly what she was trying to say.

Sure, a broken-down jeep may be a serious pain in the ass, and I don't mean to deny that, but I don't think it can be worse than a debilitating health condition. Some people really do have worse problems than others. By the same token, I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a psychotic. Does LA mean to imply that that's as irrational as not wanting to have a relationship with someone who jeep doesn't work properly?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Maybe that's what LA meant to say, but she also implied that everyone's baggage is equal, and that's ridiculous. Having a jeep that breaks down doesn't compare to multiple sclerosis.

You may need to look into the intent rather than the actual wording..And face it, dealing with any issue wether great or small in anyones mind is interpretive..Broken down jeep may be insignificant to you, but may mean a great deal to someone else..their livelihood, getting to that much needed MD appt.,the ability to be able to carry on with their lives..and possibly that broken jeep costs so much to repair and you do not have the funds to do so..what then?..bus?..maybe there is no bus available..it is all in how that is viewed by the individual and its impact upon them...Tempting

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 6/30/2007 4:08:07 PM >

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 6/30/2007 4:49:31 PM

zindyslave

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Joined: 1/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ayanaev717

quote:

I don't know if bi-polar would fall in this category but I would say it could because of the mood swings, if untreated or sometimes even treated you can have a bad mood swing. I have noticed sometimes in my Master gets upset with me or I can't do something he has asked of me I will break down crying and if we are in a scene that ends it because he knows the tears are from emotional bi-polar things not from the scene itself. And sometimes if I am irritable and he asks me to do something I get so mad at him, it is hard to control things like that at times. I hope this is related to what you were asking.

I hope your Master is in treatment. Depending upon how your Master cycles and what kind of bi-polar disorder he has, this could be risky for you. Especially in scenes or if this is a 24/7 situation. Please be safe.

Sincerely,

Ayanaev

We both have bi-polar and are getting treatment but sometimes we still have problems with our emotions me more so than him. I still get upset when I can't do certain things. In the post I wrote I was speaking of myself, but it can apply to many people in the same situation, I would think.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 6/30/2007 5:12:33 PM

lilya

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I take anti-depressants and have a history of repeated severe depressions and anxiety disorder. I am currently involved with a Dom I've met a few weeks ago and who told me that the fact I'm taking anti-depressants makes him be more prudent when it comes to mind games or hard play (such as strangulation until I pass out). It suprised me because I never thought that my medication could interfere with SM play but apparently he's had experiences before when it did. But I know that with time and as we get to know each other better and the trust bond between us becomes stronger, we will be able to find ways around this if it becomes necessary.

I also tend to fall into hypoglicemy (sudden drop in blood sugar levels) if I don't eat regularly. He's aware of this as well and the only possible effect is that I have to make sure that I eat correctly before and, if necessary during, long scenes.

I feel lucky to have found a Dom who's not only very open and attentive and to whom I can easily express my concerns without fear of judgment but who's also very experienced and knows how to react even in the most hairy situations. For instance, for our first public outing to an SM party, I was so excited that I barely ate all day and almost fainted in the middle of a scene. He was very calm about it and even found me some food and gave me all the time and attention I needed until I felt better. I really think trust and open communication between both parties is the best way (maybe even the only way?) to ensure that whatever physical, mental or emotional limitations there are won't have a negative impact on the relationship.

lylia

A good Master brings my safeword to the tip of my tongue every time he possesses me but takes me into his tender embrace just as the words are about to escape my trembling lips.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 6/30/2007 5:22:31 PM

cjenny

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I agree with you. Keeping the lines of communication open when one of you has a medical issue(s) is vital. Without that I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship.
OP, yes it effects me & our time together. I have Lupus, Fibromyalgia, TMJ, Depression, Insomnia erm lol I can't remember what else (add memory problems haha). I manage only because he makes a point of making sure that I am on track with stuff. Which leads back my posts on that thread on 'disobeying = forgetting?'

Oh, and welcome to the forum lilya!

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 6/30/2007 5:46:01 PM

HornyToadsMI

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Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have to shift frequently, or I get stiff and sore. Somedays, getting out of bed can be a chore. :) Guess that makes my buddy "Arthur" in charge....lol

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/1/2007 6:30:45 PM

Najakcharmer

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There is an excellent Yahoo discussion group for doms and subs with disabilities. The name of it is Dom_sub_Disabilities and it's a good resource for such things. There is also Kinked.org that serves the same purpose.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/1/2007 7:24:53 PM

Romanticspice

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It's a funny thing that just a few nights ago I was thinking of starting a thread like this and boing here it is. I had a master when I was about 48, and he 50. We had a wonderful time for as long as it lasted. I'm nearly 55 now and in the last few years some health issues have come into play that weren't a problem back then.

1) I've had sciolosis since I was 15, have a steel rod in my back and all was fine until menopause when it curved again and this time worse. Standing for long periods of time to be flogged or "tortured" in other ways, isn't possible.

2) Diabetes. Was diagnosed one year ago, and since then I've noticed that it's not good to hold your bladder from releasing. So that kind of play would be out of the question.

3) I bruise almost instantly now. I have all kinds of pretty marks on me just from walking through my house or doing yardwork, let alone BDSM play. Sugar levels can drop quickly and must be brought back up quickly, so apples or pop would have to be available during play, and the Dom/Master/Top would have to be especially alert, because the sub/slave/bottom may not be able to tell them of their need.

4) Obesity. This is changeable I realize but there are some times during the year where discipline in this area is near impossible. Last year I lost 11 pounds before the fall hit, and then all bets were off. There's some sort of cyclical thing, perhaps a hypernation syndrome that has hit me the last two years. When comparing notes with other folks around my age, I've found that they have experienced it too. Well that blew all the hard work I had done prior. I'm still not motivated to get back on track and it's July ... LOL!!!

5) Depression and sometimes Manic. I find there are certain months of the year where I am raring to go, and other times when I want no one to touch me, and handling relationships let alone work and necessary daily living becomes difficult, even on medication. I think that would drive a Dominant crazy much less put them out or tire them out trying to figure me out.

6) High cholesterol, my body just not being able to take all the rigorous stuff we used to do, and then menopause that seems to have taken a big tole on my submissive side. I am starting to think this is all a big fat game and not something worth continuing to look into or hope for. Another something men dreamed up to keep women under their thumb. I know that sounds crazy but I'm sad that I am losing my interest in BDSM. It seemed so magical for me for many years, and now the magic is disipating.

Well there you have it. I'll wake up in a few days and there will be something more to add to the growing list of getting older. Every time I go to see the doctor (every three months), she adds another pill to the ever growing list.

I think this gives evidence to the fact that for a genuine relationship to exist for someone with bunches of problems of any nature, both have to be commited to it. And it's hard to find people who want to take on another's problems in addition to their own, and love you in spite of it. Most run, and continually look for greener pastures. Some simply don't speak to you anymore, they conveniently disappear. Some have enough challenges and don't have the energy to add more. It takes special people to have the tenacity to commit to imperfect people, even though truth be told, none of us is perfect.

In Christ,
Romantic
Owner: www.romantic-spice.com

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/1/2007 7:58:53 PM

Shantra

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I have high blood pressure which is medication controlled but it can have an affect on play, I can get dizzy and have felt as though I am about to pass out. I have also had my spine broken in 4 places and have ongoing problems with my back which I am trying to solve with a good exercise and weight loss regime.

Master has diabetes. It is a big concern to me. He eyes are affected and he has undergone one laser surgery with more to come. He also has neuropathy which affects his extremities and gives him another problem that affects our relationship. He has already quit smoking and is trying to lose weight and get fit again. Whatever.. I love him.

This thread is actually a really good one.. sometimes when you have medical conditions you can feel very alone with it, it is both good and bad to see a lot of others having to cope with these kinds of issues.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 12:08:31 AM

DeviantlyD

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With reference to those who debated "issues"....I would submit that the OP asked if anyone has a certain syndrome or something similar that made play difficult.

Having said that...aside from anything mental &/or emotional (I won't bother getting into that)...I do have one significant health problem that inhibits play. Due to the structure of my renal architecture, I'm VERY prone to UTI's....so everything has to be clean, or it's a guarantee I'll get an infection. For anyone who has had one, I don't have to explain how painful they can be. One of my kidneys (the one with the aforementioned abnormality) is quite badly scarred from infections I've had since I was a baby. It's only partially functional. Fortunately we only need one kidney to survive. :)

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 12:10:26 AM

DeviantlyD

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quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

I have uncontrolled high blood pruessure. I didnt think it was a problem but, i had an issue with it just a few days ago when i was with my Master.

Are you under the care of a physician for the high blood pressure? High blood pressure is quite prevalent in our society, but that doesn't mean it is something to downplay - it can be VERY serious. I do hope you are under a physician's care!

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 12:13:41 AM

imthatacheyouhav

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

I have uncontrolled high blood pruessure. I didnt think it was a problem but, i had an issue with it just a few days ago when i was with my Master.

Are you under the care of a physician for the high blood pressure? High blood pressure is quite prevalent in our society, but that doesn't mean it is something to downplay - it can be VERY serious. I do hope you are under a physician's care!

Yes i am under a Doctors care. my BP i should have said, is uncontrollable....i am actually on a another new medicine...i'm keeping my fingers crossed this one works out.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 7:29:57 AM

CitizenCane

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Maybe that's what LA meant to say, but she also implied that everyone's baggage is equal, and that's ridiculous. Having a jeep that breaks down doesn't compare to multiple sclerosis.

You may need to look into the intent rather than the actual wording..

Does anyone else find that ironic in light of the recent asperger's conversation, lol?

With me, as an AS individual, people should not expect me to "read into" what they say. Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't expect me to sift through words searching for intent because the concept is foreign to me.

Or, given that aspies are a tiny minority of the population, you might consider making a conscious effort to understand the norms of NT communication. I'm not opposed to you educating the entire world about your particular communication needs and style, but, frankly, expecting them to accomodate you is unrealistic. While the concept may be foreign, it's obviously not new to you. I believe the real issue is that it's difficult.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 7:43:14 AM

GeekyGirl

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The POINT is that if people would say just exactly what they mean with nothing added or left out , EVERYONE would understand....abnormals and NT alike.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 7:49:31 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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LOL and the notion that people are annoyed because LuckyAlbatross isn't saying what she means is really amusing.

I MEANT to say, and think I pretty much did, that we've all got crap in our lives to deal with. The OP put "etc" in her post- how is that supposed to be clear and to know she meant only biologically permanent problems in life were going to be considered as legitimate crap in this thread?

If you want to go that route- what about being female and all the hurdles that causes? Seriously, we could go on forever each of us tossing in our few pains and problems and bitching about how hard they make life. The survival rate for almost everyone becomes 0 eventually.

Trying to suggest that one persons pain is more than another is arrogant, selfish, and myopic. Now, I know those are all classic traits of people with aspergers, and depression and many other things. Heck, most humans are like that with some things no matter what's going on.

But it's still wrong to try and do.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 7:59:54 AM

Mercnbeth

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Indeed...for quite some time, this slave's PSAS was something she had to work hard to mentally detach from--disassociation with the persistant arousal and resultant spontaneous orgasms was practiced and rehearsed, as it was necessary when interacting with others in vanilla society...before becoming Master's slave.

Master wants this slave to embrace her syndrome, focus on it for Master's pleasure and NOT disassociate from it, as often as possible, within His guidelines and rules, of course...which is the exact opposite of the previously self-taught disassociation ritual.

Problem? Nay....challenge.