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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 8:09:56 AM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

The POINT is that if people would say just exactly what they mean with nothing added or left out , EVERYONE would understand....abnormals and NT alike.


i may say exactly what i mean, and you may hear it differently......i really believe our own life experiences define, to a certain extent, how we process info.....so i see what youre asking for as an impossibility.

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 8:20:36 AM   
CitizenCane


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

The POINT is that if people would say just exactly what they mean with nothing added or left out , EVERYONE would understand....abnormals and NT alike.


That's your point, but mine is that if you're in France for any length of time, you might consider learning French. Because even if those French bastards are saying exactly what they mean, you won't get it if you don't.

(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 10:32:56 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tatshua
So, I wonder, is there anyone here that has a certain syndrome or something similar that can make it a little harder to do your fetish? Or maybe something that you have to think about when in the middle of a scene or just telling your sub what to do?


I can have panic attacks without much reason at times, not so much any more, but at one point they were almost daily, I leanred how to control them on my own without meds, so they aren't a big issue any more. I am asthmatic and I LOVE breath play, so that takes a bit of effort to work around; I have a few medical things that can go wrong, but, I handle most of them before hand and a given partner knows what to do and knows about them, so I don't worry; coomidations are made and certain things are avoided, not that hard.

quote:


So... Yeah, got any experience to share of how you go around the problems that might occure of a sub or a dom has a certain syndrome that might make it hard, or impossible, to do some things?


I am prone to migraines, so I keep my Imitrex in my purse also with caffeen pills and soda when possible; as for my asthma, I use my inhaler as soon as I can and keep it close by as well as make sure my partner knows how to use it and who to call if my breathing doesn't improve in 15 minutes. MJ got worried when we played last time and I was having trouble breathing, but thats what happens when you are on the verge of subspace and orgasm, breathing kinda takes a backseat. I had my inhaler on the nightstand, and after about 20 min I was fine; I cuddled up with my head on His chest for a few minutes then fell asleep in His arms.   
 
I take elementary precautions. Asthma is the biggest thing for me as of late to deal with, it kinda sucks to have an asthma attack while playing or during sex, lol; I do what I can before hand. As for other stuff, after this long, I have things down pat, I know what to do an make sure my partner knows what to do in case somethign happens. Common sence stuff.

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"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 10:47:55 AM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		I used to be severely anorexic, and even though it has been about four years since I've "gotten over it" there are still facets that still occur.  Physically, my bones aren't as strong as they should be for a young woman.  And mentally...I can easily burst into tears, especially during scenes, and I have to be careful that that initial pain does not develop into anything deeper.
Its not a huge part of my life anymore..I like to think I am very well adjusted, but definitely the potential for a ruined scene is there.

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 10:53:11 AM   
Majik


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quote:

ORIGINAL: silvermuse

Lupus, and there are times that makes life interesting.

muse


I have lupus as well...it has mostly settled in my joints. Some days it just hurts to move.


_____________________________

Explain nothing, your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 12:04:47 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Indeed...for quite some time, this slave's PSAS was something she had to work hard to mentally detach from--disassociation with the persistant arousal and resultant spontaneous orgasms was practiced and rehearsed, as it was necessary when interacting with others in vanilla society...before becoming Master's slave.
 
Master wants this slave to embrace her syndrome, focus on it for Master's pleasure and NOT disassociate from it, as often as possible, within His guidelines and rules, of course...which is the exact opposite of the previously self-taught disassociation ritual.
 
Problem? Nay....challenge.


Could you expound a bit on PSAS? 

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 2:31:51 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I believe that being ill effects things in the lifestyle because it effects life in general.  People respond to your illness; good or bad… there are financial issues… relationship issues… mobility and on and on.  I think in the lifestyle we are often judged and misunderstood, because in life in general we often are. Finding someone who will fit us is often times much harder and sometimes near impossible.  A person has a choice whether to deal with you or not; in or outside the lifestyle and my opinion is… most choose not to deal with it all.

I have found that people look on the outside or at a situation and sum up how that person got there.  I won't go into how that angers me because there are points on both sides of the coin that are viable, but not always where we need to be looking to gather our evidence for our OPINION of a person or situation.  People often think... it's your choice... make poor choices and you get bad things in life.  Also... you gather to yourself what you deserve from your own mental/emotional issues.  Tell me... does the seven year old abuse victim make a poor choice or gather to themselves what they put out and attract?  There are victims in life... period.  The victim does have choice at some point... for example... how to take being a victim and what they do with that.  But they were a victim and shouldn't be blamed or held accountable in an unreasonable manner.

Certain life situations come with chronic illness.  Some do not experience the same things because of other life circumstances… better family situations… support systems and hundreds of other factors.  But… I will jump out there and say that most of the people who were my clients or friends who had chronic or deadly illnesses had serious financial problems to deal with besides the other aspects of symptoms and relationships with other people.  These issues often times are added to the typical amount and types of life issues healthy persons have, which in my opinion add to the difficulties in life and should be considered as such. To say they don’t have more problems is not realistic, thus many people don’t wish relationships with them!  I personally think that some don’t have a clue what it is like to live what some people must live, when they are ill.

If one were to look at my life as it is today… most would assume that I made poor choices… that I drew unto myself what I attracted from my own emotional or mental issues (choices) and that I was a negative person.  All are wrong.  Iol I may have frustration levels and some attitudes at this stage of life… but for the most part, I am very happy in myself… I am positive and an encourager and encourage people with far less to deal with in life than I have, etc.  I won’t toot my own horn here… but you get the idea I hope.  I am not the things people judge me to be.

What I am is sick and I have been sick from birth, with strange and rare illnesses. I have been checked out by psychiatrist and other mental health professionals… one who followed my life closely and intimately (Not sexual) for a year, thinking I was doing something wrong and who concluded that I wasn’t doing anything wrong and was the most unlucky person he had ever met. lol

Being ill poses problems no matter how you look at it… but those problems can be a challenge that one can be successful in meeting.  A lot of it is attitude and some of it is luck.  One week I might play for a day and need three to recover and the next week I play three days and need one to recover.  The lifestyle and play isn’t always the challenge.  The challenge is in finding someone for other than casual play, that wishes to play with you who will consider all things put together.

(I am not having a problem with this at the moment! lol… I don’t want to get bombarded here and am not complaining!)

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/2/2007 3:09:02 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Indeed...for quite some time, this slave's PSAS was something she had to work hard to mentally detach from--disassociation with the persistant arousal and resultant spontaneous orgasms was practiced and rehearsed, as it was necessary when interacting with others in vanilla society...before becoming Master's slave.
 
Master wants this slave to embrace her syndrome, focus on it for Master's pleasure and NOT disassociate from it, as often as possible, within His guidelines and rules, of course...which is the exact opposite of the previously self-taught disassociation ritual.
 
Problem? Nay....challenge.


Could you expound a bit on PSAS? 


somewhere around 2001, researchers started referring to it as a syndrome, a form of sexual dysfunction that affects certain women...there isn't a lot of information published.  it is believed to be rare, or infrequently reported.  the equivalent syndrome for men would be priapism.
 
Boston University Medical does a pretty good job of explaining it here:
http://www.bumc.bu.edu/Dept/Content.aspx?departmentid=371&PageID=8710
 
there's a wealth of anecdotal as well as theoretical information here, as a support group site:
http://www.psas-support.com/main/

hope that helps!!!
 
 

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 7/2/2007 3:10:40 PM >

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/3/2007 5:35:56 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Which is the other problem- you can't compare "pain levels" like that. We're all going through life, life really sucks in a lot of ways for everyone, and we all have to find our way through it and hopefully remain true and fulfilled in ourselves.


Sure. That being the point of the thread, no? To share experiences? Or various paths in life?

Perhaps even to vent a bit, one imagines; a lot of people find it helpful to talk to others with similar issues as themselves. Kind of like a support thread. (Which reminds me, a support subforum might not be the worst idea ever; not everything needs to be about technical details of a kink, or who is twuest, or whatever.)


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/3/2007 5:40:54 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilya

(such as strangulation until I pass out)


You've probably done the research, but just in case you haven't, I'll point out that the breath play threads in the "health and safety" section are usually a good read.

quote:

It suprised me because I never thought that my medication could interfere with SM play but apparently he's had experiences before when it did.


Depends on the type of medication you're on.
More likely, it's the depression he's worried about.
That can really wreak havoc with some kinds of play.
And some kinds of play can seriously worsen depression.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to lilya)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/3/2007 5:58:40 PM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

LOL and the notion that people are annoyed because LuckyAlbatross isn't saying what she means is really amusing.


Not really; she wasn't talking about being blunt, I think.

Look at the discussions that have been regarding the meanings of words, for instance.
Your position in those is different from many who are neurologically typical (NT).

Forums leave little room for the cues that are necessary for the usual NT mode of communication. Online, the aspie mode of communication is actually better for both parties. That's part of the reason why people who can get along perfectly fine offline can find themselves constantly at each others virtual throats when online.

quote:

I MEANT to say, and think I pretty much did, that we've all got crap in our lives to deal with. The OP put "etc" in her post- how is that supposed to be clear and to know she meant only biologically permanent problems in life were going to be considered as legitimate crap in this thread?


~nod~

She should have specified that this thread was an offshoot from the aspie thread.
For many, like me, the context was apparent; for many, like you, it will not be.

quote:

If you want to go that route- what about being female and all the hurdles that causes?


I would be very interested in a thread about that.

It would make for interesting reading, help me be better at accomodating both genders, and allow me to do more realistic portrayal of female characters in creative writing and roleplaying games. Please do start one; being male, I don't think I can contribute any accurate problem descriptions, but I'd love to read them, and offer any insights I can on what the issues look like from the other side of the coin.

quote:

Trying to suggest that one persons pain is more than another is arrogant, selfish, and myopic.


~nod~

Those women in Somalia should really shut up. Paris Hilton has it far worse.

Seriously, the issue is really that people's tolerance to adversity depends on what they are used to. When the level of crap in life increases, it either kills you, or it recalibrates your scale. Most people tend to assume their scale is universally applicable, whether they are aspies or NTs or something else. It rarely is.

Some things are objectively worse, but that doesn't change the validity of subjective experience.

This in reply to both of you, really.

quote:

Now, I know those are all classic traits of people with aspergers, and depression and many other things. Heck, most humans are like that with some things no matter what's going on.


Glad you tossed in the last bit. People aren't all that different on either side of the coin.

Najakcharmer posted a funny segment in the aspie thread about how NTs would be viewed in a society where aspies were the norm; it reads pretty much the same as NT descriptions of aspies. Similarly, I have played with the diagnostic criteria in the past, and found that one can make almost identically worded ones that would allow an aspie to "diagnose" an NT as afflicted by "neurologically typical syndrome".

quote:

But it's still wrong to try and do.


Depends on your outlook.

In the NT outlook, "worse" needs to be asserted by an external observer to be valid.
In the aspie outlook, "worse" can be asserted by comparing objective impact on life and be valid.

Neither approach is more or less valid than the other, though one is more common.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/3/2007 6:18:25 PM   
catize


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quote:

 
If you want to go that route- what about being female and all the hurdles that causes? 


 hot flashes! 

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Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/3/2007 7:09:04 PM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Balance problems, which make it hard to stay in position.  Joint problems, ditto.  Asthma, which can kick in inconveniently.  Hearing problems make it hard to catch orders in some situations.  Hot flushes just for fun.

I'm in awe of some people here who are coping with really severe problems, and doing so with such grace and style.  Of course, BDSM is highly motivating!

It's amazing how some people can live with conditions that seem to be incredibly life-limiting, and they have full and happy lives and do incredible things.  Others have a relatively minor problem and they structure their whole lives around it, and expect everyone else to do the same.  There's qualities of character, background and opportunity that have a large impact on how we cope with things.

And I don't care how awkward I am getting out of some positions, and what I have to do to stay breathing through a scene, so long as we have our fun together it's fine.  Life's all about making adjustments.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/4/2007 5:41:39 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Everyone has something that makes it harder I think- whether it's a 2 year old or a broken down jeep, or mood disorder. 


The difference is that you don't choose to have a syndrome and you can't usually "fix" it.

Having a 2yr old is a choice...you don't get a right to whine about it affecting your life.

If your jeep is broke down, fix it. Again, no reason to whine.

Those of us with syndromes/disorders didn't choose them and depending the problem may not be able to fix it, so comparing to another person's poor decision to reproduce or not fix their jeep doesn't really equate.


There's choice and then there's choice.  I have two um's both of whom I chose to have but I did so under conditions different from those I am living under now.  When I had my first, I was married to a man with a stable, well paying job.  My ex decided to end the marriage and threw me for a loop radically altering the conditions under which I mother my children.  More than this, my first son has cerebral palsy and is severely disabled.  His birth was complicated and he was in and out of the hospital a lot during his first 3 years and for about 10 years I experienced post-traumatic stress tendencies as a direct consequence of all that.  Looking back on my life, I've always been dissociative under stressful conditions, but mothering my son has radically intensified that.  I'm calm cool and collected during a crisis because I have to be but will freak out later for no apparant reason.  So, I have to  be careful about managing this strange rythm of dissociation/anxiety which leads me to freak out only under conditions of relative safety when there's no objective reason for freaking  out.  (Now that I have a handle on this, I don't really do it anymore because I have a better ability to ground myself.)  My point is that I chose to have children but I didn't choose  everything that came  along with having children and my efforts to meet those challenges have had specific repercussions resulting in a specific a-typical way of dealing with the shit life throws at me. 

I have a vehicle with 153,000 miles on it.  Its a good car and has never been in the shop except once, for a minor problem with the  exhaust.  For the past three years or so, I've have had full custody of my children because my ex went into a severe depression and attempted suicide. I have no credit, no savings and very little income because Ive had to radically reduce the amount of time I spend working because caring for someone with severe disabilities is more than a full time job and caregiving has been my #1 priority.  If that car breaks down, its going to be a major crisis. Though, being excessively rational, and knowing the potential for crisis, I do have contingency plans  (I'm moving to an apartment accross the street from my son's school and on the free bus line to campus) but even so, its not going to be a simple thing to deal with.  There's no such thing as 'just fix it' in my world. 

None of these things resulted from poor decisions on my part.  They resulted from accepting what life's thrown at me and doing what I've had to do to live up to my committments and obligations.  Just because something isn't the direct result of a syndrom doesn't mean they were the product of a poor decision or fully chosen.  We make choices, yes, but we don't always know the consequences of our choices or the full context under which we make our choices.

So, I agree with the intent behind LA's post that there's no reason to single out people with specific syndromes/disorders because everyone probably has something that makes it hard to do something without some accomodations.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/4/2007 9:43:55 PM   
Najakcharmer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

The POINT is that if people would say just exactly what they mean with nothing added or left out , EVERYONE would understand....abnormals and NT alike.


Yes and no.  Studying animal behavior as well as human behavior has given me this answer.

Crocodilian communication involves not just their complex vocalizations, but their body posturing to a very significant degree.  Watching a group of alligators behave socially is something that the layperson will be at least 75% blind to, because the majority of what they are communicating to one another is with the subtleties of relative body posturing.  A layperson will be able to hear their vocalizations and can fairly easily learn to identify the difference between a mating invitation, a declaration of territorial dominance and an indication of distress.  What someone who is blind to the subtleties will not be able to do is to read the whole message that is being communicated, because a good portion of it is being transmitted nonvocally.  The posture is the context of the vocalization, and much of the time it actually replaces the vocalization. 

The observer who lacks the ability to read croc postures will not be aware that any communication at all is taking place.  The trained observer can read volumes about a crocodile's age, sex, dominance status and general state of mind, based on posture alone.  Of course another crocodile can also read this clearly; that's the point of the display.  They don't have to learn it; it's instinctive.  Knowing how to read the social behavior and status of another member of your group is crucial in any social species, so most animals can do so instinctively.  Highly social animals like Homo sapiens even have a chunk of their brains specifically devoted to this kind of information processing.  Except in some individuals, that part of the brain simply doesn't work, or works very differently. That would be us. 

Humans have much more complex vocalizations than crocs do, and they also transmit quite significant amounts of information via facial expression, verbal intonation and pitch, body language and gestures.  AS folks like us are not intrinsically well equipped to observe any of those things in humans.  The only way I can function in this respect is by observing humans socially exactly as I observe crocodilians and other animals, watching closely for the arbitrary signals I have studied and learned to identify in this species.  Like you, I am natively blind to these signals.  I do not percieve them instinctively any more than a human can instinctively read crocodile body language without special training and intense observation.

I am not well equipped to understand and process human social signals.  I can however apply logical analysis to primate body language and vocalization signals in the same manner that I do to other species.  Like almost all other animals, humans transmit a significant volume of information to one another in this fashion.  Sometimes this information may complement the verbal message, but at other times it may change the meaning of the vocalization or even contradict the message entirely. 

That does sound amazingly stupid and dysfunctional, at least until you look at the basic principles of animal behavior.  All animal communication must be percieved and responded to as a holistic unit of vocalization and physical behavior.  Responding to a vocalization without correctly observing and interpreting the behavioral context is ineffective, and when you're working with some kinds of animals, really inadvisable.  That's simply how animals communicate, and you need to look at the entire communication to interpret its message, not just the vocalization.

When you're an AS working with Homo sapiens, the temptation is to make your own vocalizations on the order of "Bugger off and go bother someone else if you can't just say what you bloody well mean."   I understand the temptation thoroughly and quite often give in to it since I'm a curmudgeonly sort.  I also understand that Homo sapiens is just like any other zoo animal,  transmitting a significant portion of their social communication not through abstract sound-symbols but by pitch, inflection, posture and facial expression.  I expect the same from Homo sapiens social communication as I would from any other primate.  Monkeys do chatter, screech, scratch and grimace, and if you need to work inside their cage, it's helpful to learn what those behaviors indicate so they don't throw poo at you. 

Humans are "saying what they mean" by transmitting information in ways other than just abstract sound-symbols.  You and I simply aren't natively well equipped to observe and process that portion of their communication.  Fortunately we are exceptionally well equipped to use abstract symbols to explain our own preferences for effective two way communication. 

< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 7/4/2007 9:48:12 PM >

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/5/2007 6:21:52 AM   
truesub4u


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant


I think the difficulties in most situations can be worked out if there is patience exhibited from both sides.  However, and I know I may take some slams for this, remember that a potential partner has the right to say "I don't want to deal with that", whether it is a submissive saying that to a potential dominant with a "condition/syndrome/chronic disorder" or a dominant stating that to a potential submissive and it does not make them a bad person.


I don't see a slam here. I totally agree. And that why I tell anyone straight up front... I'm not as good as I once was...but I'm as good once as I ever was....lol

No seriously. I have to agree with you. This is why I tell doms that contact me that I have neoropthy(nerve damage) and since my back surgery in 2000, my kneeling isn't as long as it once was if it's there at all at times. Depends on where we are and for how long.  And between my back and age.... i'm not as flexiable as I was when I was in my 20 and 30s..lol

But my biggest problem lies within my head with weak blood vessels.(Connected to high blood pressure and stroke I had back in 1996) When taken to high...and held there.. when finally allowed to explode.... it can (not all times) cause vessels to pop and I start bleeding from my ears.... the migrain it causes ...causes me to curl up in a fetal position and just want to die! Takes about 30 mins to get over it all.

This has freaked a few out before even after being made aware of it. And they've decided it's something they can't or won't deal with. I don't think no less of them for this. Just as I can tell them it's not going to work because they didn't head my warnings of it being possible to happen and they pushed me further than I should of gone..or held me there longer than they should of. When I get taken too high.... I can't control anything. And when I tell someone up front and it's ignored... it's my right to be able to tell them that I can't deal with someone whom can't feel safe with that will take my condition into consideration.

So Creative, I agree with you. There's nothing wrong either with being up front and telling someone that you have a medical condition/syndrome that one can't or doesn't want to deal with.  But should one choose to work with someone with a medical condition/syndrome... and one day just decides they've had enough. One would hope they would be honest about it. And let someone know it's the problem....and not something else ... like being a bad dom/sub....some feel lying about it won't make it so bad. But it does. I would rather know my medical problems got in the way... not my trying.

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/5/2007 10:10:19 AM   
stella40


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline 		I have gender dysphoria, which makes me a transsexual. Doesn't affect me much (other than it throws up issues in many areas of life) but it tends to affect other people.

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I try to take one day at a time, but several days come and attack me at once. (Jennifer Unlimited)

If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.


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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/5/2007 10:22:38 AM   
apettiger


Posts: 131
Joined: 1/15/2007
Status: offline 		i am legally blind, have psoriatic arthritice and breathing problems. oh yes, there are issues that have to be dealt with to have an enjoyable session for both of U/us. not to mention the planning.



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(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/5/2007 11:26:29 AM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Anxiety disorder here. Because of it I'm not suited to a relationship where obedience no matter what is primary. I am suited for what I have, a relationship focused on emotional transparency. And I went looking for a partner who would believe what I tell him.

So if I say that I don't feel up to a bondage session, it isn't topping from the bottom. It's a statement of fact, that forcing me to do so is likely to set off an anxiety attack. Since he hates it when I have them (as do I), he accepts my word that I can't cooperate that minute and that I will talk to him about what's causing the anxiety as soon as I figure it out.


It makes me very happy to hear that your relationship works this way Celeste. I have always wondered if there are others that walk the line between respecting the submissive partner's physical and emotional limitiations even if it might *seem* like topping from the bottom sometimes. I think many people do this to some extent or another but then again, there seem to be a lot out there who say "tough luck" and still do whatever they want regardless of the partner's best interest (or there is that belief that the dom always knows what's in the partner's best interest anyway.)

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“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

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(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/5/2007 11:33:12 AM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		I think it's great that everyone is so open about their personal issues here. I have my own, one called trichotillomania that no one ever seems to have heard of, but oh well. It doesn't really affect my kinks, my D/s life, or anything all that much, though when I'm going through a bad period it definitely takes a toll on relationships in general.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 60
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