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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/5/2007 11:40:02 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass
I think it's great that everyone is so open about their personal issues here. I have my own, one called trichotillomania that no one ever seems to have heard of, but oh well. It doesn't really affect my kinks, my D/s life, or anything all that much, though when I'm going through a bad period it definitely takes a toll on relationships in general.

Uhh DSA, you need to check this out:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_630650/mpage_1/key_trichitillomania/tm.htm#630650
Trichitillomania

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/5/2007 10:54:50 PM   
MaamJay


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High blood pressure though well controlled by meds, diagnosed with diabetes 1 year ago, controlling with diet and exercise (Master is expert at recognising onset of hypo and gets food for me), asthmatic but OK unless exposed to chemical triggers such as cigarette smoke, certain flysprays and some laundry chemicals (guess who kills all the bugs in this house - i love You Master), diagnosed with atrial fibrillation 8 months ago, controlled with meds. OK so last year when i turned 50 the wheels really fell off LOL! The only time i can kneel is when i am deep in subspace and have forgotten how to stand up. Somehow it doesn't hurt then.

Through all of it W/we count O/our blessings and just work around it. While i love play, O/our relationship is way more important than any limitations various medical problems impose. In this case, nearly all of these have come about since i met Master and He has taken them all in His stride. i am grateful!

Nonetheless, as a Domme, I am willing to work with some physical or mental problems in a sub but not all. There are some I just wouldn't feel equipped to handle and it would be fairest of Me to say so. That said, I am currently talking with a fem sub who has a few medical issues ... none of which are dealbreakers. W/we will be meeting on July 20th, she's coming to stay for a week. The only "issue" now is whether the chemistry will be there in the flesh as it is in the mind/voice!

This has been another terrific thread (as the Aspbergers one was!) ... great to see that there are lots of people out there living the lifestyle of their choice despite medical (or other!) issues.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 7/6/2007 12:23:30 AM   
susie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I think the difficulties in most situations can be worked out if there is patience exhibited from both sides.  However, and I know I may take some slams for this, remember that a potential partner has the right to say "I don't want to deal with that", whether it is a submissive saying that to a potential dominant with a "condition/syndrome/chronic disorder" or a dominant stating that to a potential submissive and it does not make them a bad person.


This is very true. I suffer from Crohns disease and have gone through years of steroid treatment. Just over 10 years ago this resulted in having my large intestine removed and living with the resultant colostomy. The partner (non lifestyle) I had at the time found that it was something he could not cope with and we split up. I decided this was the time to search for a Dom/Master and did so online knowing that I would be able to be totally upfront about my medical issues. I chatted to many who, as soon as they found out my medical issues, disappeared. Master was one of only a handfull that continued to chat to me and took it all in his stride. Obviously there are issues involved with how we do things but because we are both very open about those issues they can be overcome.

Because of the way Master dealt with all of that I had no worries about how he would cope when I was diagnosed with skin cancer last year. I have been left with a large hole on my upper back which means he has to avoid certain areas in impact play but it just takes a little adjustment on his part and has not caused any significant issues.

I have learnt that with the right person anything can be worked through.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/17/2009 12:27:15 AM   
KillerKitten


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I have schizo-affective (as somebody earlier mentioned already, combo of bipolar and schizophrenia X_X ) and it gives me some problems as i get really paranoid, and have had a hard time making the transition from vanilla to kink, but we're learning to work around it. Thank the gods for $4 meds at Walmart ^_^
Also, part of my duties are him making me work out to help control my crazies, and re-learning to take care of myself, as i often forget to eat, take my meds, or shower unless he reminds me .

But yeah, I definately agree, with the right person, and some adjustments, you can work through it.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/17/2009 1:25:24 AM   
mozartsfuneral


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i have bipolar disorder ( Bipolar Affective Disorder)
Reactive Attachment Disorder
ADD/ADHD ( which is NOT controlled by any meds )
Hydrocephalus ( been shunted since age 1 )
Cerebral Palsy, which requires me to shift many times during a session
and OCD...

All of which don't really affect my normal life as long as nothing interrupts my schedule. If something goes out of wack my whole day is dislodged.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/17/2009 10:45:43 PM   
Maya2001


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From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Everyone has something that makes it harder I think- whether it's a 2 year old or a broken down jeep, or mood disorder. 


The difference is that you don't choose to have a syndrome and you can't usually "fix" it.

Having a 2yr old is a choice...you don't get a right to whine about it affecting your life.

If your jeep is broke down, fix it. Again, no reason to whine.

Those of us with syndromes/disorders didn't choose them and depending the problem may not be able to fix it, so comparing to another person's poor decision to reproduce or not fix their jeep doesn't really equate.


A divorce leaving you a single parent  and not recieving support is not a choice

having a birth control fail is not a choice

A vehicle breaking down may not be a big deal to you but the  parent struggling to make ends meet and needing the car to get to work  is more than just an inconvenience ..it can become a life altering episode

..as the saying goes "you may  have to walk in another moccasin's"    I have been there  and I also have had injuries and illnesses that have effected my life  in a major way ...so yes LA is very much correct in what she said

I have fibro , ruptured the bursa in my right hip, injured my upper spine which required several years of therapy

quote:

Seriously, the issue is really that people's tolerance to adversity depends on what they are used to. When the level of crap in life increases, it either kills you, or it recalibrates your scale. Most people tend to assume their scale is universally applicable, whether they are aspies or NTs or something else. It rarely is.


Aswad's comment above is very much true, and it helped me push the boundaries of some issues and work  thru the pain to become functional again

I also  have supraventricular tachycardia,  hypertrophic osteoarthropathy,  lung cancer, TMJ

the first condition is under control now with drugs ..it took a few med trials and dosages changes to get under control, should it become a problem again surgery may be needed to fix the electrical impulse paths around the heart

the hypertrophic is the most dibilitating at this point, as my bones are going through a lot of changes which is extremely painful, makes it very difficult to walk around and really wears me out, I have tried a couple meds though had to go back to the one that is harder on the stomach to get some relief  and taking the maximum dosage ..so for now all I can do is bare with

this coming tuesday I get the results of all the testing and possibly my surgery for the cancer, even if i do prove lucky  to be early stage 1b  I am still  in for one very rough battle for the next year, because of tumor location they are going to remove the right lung and once I recover enough for that I start chemo and that will likely be 6 to 9 months of heavy duty drugs to try and prevent it from mestasizing else where...the one benefit is the surgery will also stop  the hypertrophic and the bones, finger clubbing and skin changes that have occurred will start reversing and the pain will subside, I know that drugs they use hair loss is very common so  I already got my hats bought and already practicing joking around about it as I know surviving is more important than my hair and that eventually my hair will come back

this is my second battle with cancer, the first was 26 years ago and I know that was a walk in the park  compared to what I am facing this time round

as for impact  or problems it is causing ....the kink part of my live is on hold for a year maybe longer other than checking in here at cm and fetlife when i am up to it, my priority and focus has to be on getting myself well again and avoid to much outside stresses that could affect my emotional health while I go thru the worst of it(surgery and chemo) I know I am going to have my bad days and accept that,  but I also know with out all the past stuff I faced in past and overcame that means not just the physical but dealing with  financials problems, a child on my own who challenged the heck out of me and forced me to dish out some heavy handed tough love... that all it is going to be of assistance to help me get thru this and will allow me to make the tough decisions that I have to regarding treatment and care as well as make preparations for the worst possible outcome, also to have the strength to help my family through this because they are having an emotionally hard time, especially my mom


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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 7:13:52 AM   
natasha66


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

quote:

ORIGINAL: imthatacheyouhav

I have uncontrolled high blood pruessure. I didnt think it was a problem but, i had an issue with it just a few days ago when i was with my Master.


Are you under the care of a physician for the high blood pressure? High blood pressure is quite prevalent in our society, but that doesn't mean it is something to downplay - it can be VERY serious. I do hope you are under a physician's care!



Get it under control.  It can kill you.

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~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 1:25:20 PM   
pinkwind


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i have odd things wrong with me, (see profile for details!), and yes some elements of what ails me impact on our sessions as well as the rest of our lives together. But then, as much as things can make life more difficult, challenging, those same difficulties can and do make us more cunning and devious, and give opportunities to explore and expand on what we are successfully able to do already.

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From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 2:48:01 PM   
Lynnxz


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From: Atlanta
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I'm not too messed up, haha. Ironicly, I cannot do the missionary position because I broke my pelvis/leg some years back. 

It's not a big deal, just every once in a while there's a "Hey, hurty"


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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 4:53:15 PM   
Sfortzando


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Mine was a one off thing, but this past December I developed Guillian Barre Syndrome as a complication from mono. It's an autoimmune disease that attacks the peripheral nervouse system, causing accute onset paralysis. I've made a full recovery, and the chances of it happening again are about a zillion to one, but while I was rebuilding my muscle tone, just kneeling was incredibly painful and impossible to maintain for any length of time.

Also, I was almost completely numb from the chest down for two months prior, so I couldn't feel anything. DEFINITELY put a damper on kink.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 5:04:03 PM   
catize


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I have Parkinson’s syndrome with right sided weakness.  The meds are controlling the symptoms right now but I have to take them four times a day.  So scheduling is the big issue, because if I forget to take the medicine on time I’m likely to tip over!

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 5:49:49 PM   
Amaros


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I have several ruptured lumbar disks, and since it's a compression injury, I have to avoid activities that involve compression/impact, jogging, running, jumping up and down, prolonged standing, or walking, etc., or excessive twisting or I start getting rapidly intensifying pain which becomes debilitating after a while, usually accompanied by sciatica - built a couple of fourplexes this past summer, which involves carrying a lot of lumber which is unwieldy shit, and my whole left thigh ended up going numb, I'm gonna have to give up on the heavy construction I'm afraid.

Fortunately, lateral movement (front to back, side to side) doesn't bother me at all and is actually good because it helps maintain my core muscle tone, which in turn helps alleviate compression effects, hint, hint.

My ex is a severe alcoholic, and I'm raising Two children, one of whom has Downs syndrome and requires constant adult supervision, which is why I spend so much time on the internet, lol, I don't get out much.

It's pretty much a lifetime commitment, so I hear ya' gypsygrl, re: geekygirls assertion that having kids is a choice - yes, but it ain't like you can just walk away from them.

< Message edited by Amaros -- 2/18/2009 5:51:15 PM >

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 6:19:30 PM   
Sfortzando


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I give you major props, Amaros. I tutor one of my classmates in English who has Downs sydrome. I spend six hours a week with him, and have the full support of our professor and both of his parents. It must take a lot personal strength to deal with all that you do without the full support of your ex.

Also, in responce to geekygirl - divorce is absolutely disableing, especially from the child's perspective. I cannot even begin to describe the chaos and disorder of my early childhood and teen years that my parents put me through when they divorced, and then subsequently divorced again, and in my dad's case, again. That lack of stability and the abuse I've suffered at the hands of my various step relatives is the main reason I'm so gunshy about longterm relationships.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 6:34:27 PM   
Amaros


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Yes, it's difficult finding a babysitter who can handle him, he's a big boy, a big baby really, and he's a real sweetheart, but not a fast mover - in the case of a fire or something a person needs the physical strength to move him if you needed to.

One of his classmates with severe cerebral palsy died last year, he was such a brave little guy. I spent the first three months of my sons life sleeping on the floor in my sons hospital room, and having seen some of the other kids in the pediatrics ward, I can't complain too much - there are a lot more stressful things.

The hardest part socially is that most women around my age are empty nesters, and they wanna get out and set their hair on fire so it's been hard finding anybody that just wants to hang out.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 6:41:40 PM   
Sfortzando


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I kinda get that impression from my classmates parents as well. They're heading into their sixties, and not only do they kinda wanna get out on their own and all, but now they're starting to worry about who's going to take care of their son when they're gone.

It's been my experience that somewhere, there is always someone who has it harder than you, and someone who has it harder than them, so while we can't complain too much, far be it from me to say you can't complain once in a while.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 6:51:32 PM   
Amaros


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Well I'm still in my Forties, but the thought has crossed my mind.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 7:13:48 PM   
Sfortzando


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I know there are group homes and the like, where people with similar disabilities can live pretty independent lives while still having the support and care that they need. I'm not sure, but I think they can be pretty affordable, and might be partially covered by insurance.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 7:30:26 PM   
Amaros


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True, but have you seen the news lately?

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 9:56:17 PM   
Surata


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I used to have severe PTSD issues because of my childhood.  They are still there, but not nearly so intense as they once were.  It used to be that anything around my throat or touching my throat or even aimed at my throat would send me into fits of rage.  Now, my only major issue is people coming up behind me, whether I know they are there or not.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/18/2009 10:03:10 PM   
Sfortzando


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Have I seen the news lately about what?

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