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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/19/2009 9:14:15 AM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sfortzando

Have I seen the news lately about what?

There may not be any insurance by the time he needs it.

(in reply to Sfortzando)
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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/19/2009 9:28:55 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I cannot tell you how many times someone has told me to get my adult son into a group home or facility.  They do not know what they are actually saying.  They are seeing my life be changed and the lacks there and wish more for me, but they are not realizing what it would mean for my son to be in a facility and what would happen to him.  They are not seeing what that would do to me!  I cannot tell you how many men have expected me to drop the mama bit and do something that would cleary hurt my son just so that they could have the benefit of being with me!  Grrrrrrrrrrrr!  No thank you!

My son will eventually... if things I have planned won't work... be in a facility.  I have plan A and plan B and if neither work, there is nothing I can do.  But I will get this big um as far down the road as I can, with each plan and hope to the powers that be, he will heal enough to be able to be in a facility without them medicating him to keep more normal hours... which would cause the hallucinations like it did before when he was in their clutches.  No... he has to be with mama for now. 

Anyone not able to handle that or tries to tell me to get a life of my own... gets a boot.  I have a life... it may not be all I want... but I wouldn't want it any different under the circumstances.  I come with baggage... lots of it.  I am ill too.  I may be alone for the rest of my life, but I will be in peace.

I do get some play time.  I do have opportunities and limitations, but my son isn't really one of them other than I can't travel the world without him.  As for my health, yes it can limit, but only in the lack of a limited and non creative mind.  The feeling can be there... the fun.. all good... just maybe done a bit differently and maybe sometimes less often.. but when I can't... you can bet I have a plan that my partner gets his! lol  And if the son does hear anything and once I am done and show back up... he laughs, shakes his finger at me and goes back to his room.  No big deal!

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Amaros)
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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/19/2009 9:32:17 AM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		^Word.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/19/2009 9:48:30 AM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		If you had talked to me two years ago you would have found someone so gripped with social anxiety that I couldn't even go out of the house for months at a time without having mild to severe panic attacks. Trips to Wal-Mart for eggs and milk would become, in my mind, life and death situations and there were times I would have to hide in the bathroom until I could control myself.

I've gotten a better grip on it, but I still get panicy around new groups of people. It's hell starting new jobs, especially in the service industry where I have multiple daily contacts with strangers.

I still haven't figured out what to do to be okay around large groups of people that I know. Three or more people usually puts me on edge, and it's bad news if I'm in a place that serves alcohol. I self medicate until I can handle things. Not the healthiest way to go about it, but I don't abuse alcohol either.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/23/2009 8:28:57 PM   
Sfortzando


Posts: 174
Joined: 1/30/2009
Status: offline 		I'm not saying you should put your son in a group home now at all. I'm not saying you SHOULD do anything. All I'm saying is, should there ever be no other option, there are communities that are more like assisted living communities that group homes, that could give your son the most independence while also making sure he gets the care that he needs.

I truly hope no one thought I think ANYONE should just be put into a home because of a mental disability. That's not what I meant to convey at all.

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/24/2009 8:05:42 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sfortzando

I'm not saying you should put your son in a group home now at all. I'm not saying you SHOULD do anything. All I'm saying is, should there ever be no other option, there are communities that are more like assisted living communities that group homes, that could give your son the most independence while also making sure he gets the care that he needs.

I truly hope no one thought I think ANYONE should just be put into a home because of a mental disability. That's not what I meant to convey at all.


I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I was responding to you!  Your post reminded me of what was really said to me, that is all.  I didn't take what you said in that light.  Not at all.  I should have been more clear!  I was more responding to some who have said it here and elsewhere because they felt I was wasting my life.  Although my life is very limited becasue of what I am doing, it is my choice to do it as a parent and there can be no other answer for me.  Limited I can live with... ignoring the needs of my son, I could not live with.

Sometimes even with someone who has a need for care, we forget what options we do have or we simply don't know them, so your suggestion is more a help than what other's intentions were when they said it to me or some other's that I know.  It is also something we all must face as we most likely will not live as long as the one we are caring for if we are a parent and it's simply reality.  If we can't face that and are overly sensitive... we are not dealing with the situation at hand.

I hope you can forgive my oversight here!

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/24/2009 8:51:08 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy
<snipped>
I've gotten a better grip on it, but I still get panicy around new groups of people. It's hell starting new jobs, especially in the service industry where I have multiple daily contacts with strangers.

I still haven't figured out what to do to be okay around large groups of people that I know. Three or more people usually puts me on edge, and it's bad news if I'm in a place that serves alcohol. I self medicate until I can handle things. Not the healthiest way to go about it, but I don't abuse alcohol either.


Weirdly I am least phobic in service job situations when interacting with people. Perhaps because they are snippets of time, there is sort of a pre-set way to deal with customers that makes it easier for me.

I have a really tough time in groups of people that I know, it requires a social interaction that just freaks me out and makes me want to hide. It sucks because I really like people! I just.. get scared, don't know what to say or what to do.


Right now my life is consumed with my 'syndromes/diseases'. I am for the first time ever addressing all facets, the medical side, physical therapy and also I guess what is called emotional therapy all at once. It is nearly overwhelming and if I had to also be doing the dance of trying to meet an owner.. yikes. No way Jose` would that work.

I am beyond lucky to be owned by him, the support and love. The boundaries he increases during my times of stress to keep me oriented and safe feeling. Anchored.

Plus the fact that he is the one that pushed me into getting the help for my fibro/lupus/tmj/insomnia/depression/chronic pain! I can't even find the words to describe what he means to me, or just how much I love him. It makes me wish that there was somehow 'more' of me to give him, to open for him.


_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/24/2009 9:09:42 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		I do not want to hijack this thread but I have something that is very much related http://www.collarchat.com/m_2477982/tm.htm here that I need feedback on.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/24/2009 9:48:31 AM   
devotedOwner19


Posts: 47
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline 		For me a problem is my adhd (attention deficite hyper activite disorder) at time it make me unable to concetrate on anything for a length of time, or at other i hyperfocus on one thing to the exlusion of all else, it also has the effect of my moods shifting quickly from on to other while this doesnt effect me all the time sometimes it is rather frustrating in play when im trying to focus on her and i notice something else that puts me off track

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/24/2009 9:52:19 AM   
mdr080480


Posts: 4646
Joined: 2/20/2009
Status: offline 		I was diagnosed with Antiphospholipid Syndrome, or Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome, I got the words right, just can't remember if the two anti's cancel one another out or not. Anywho, my blood clots a little too well apparently... so I take a low and monitored dose of an anti-coagulant/blood thinner (warfarin). I was diagnosed with this after having a DVT. The DVT may have been a symptom of my bloods clotting, not the other way around, just that the DVT was a very obvious symptom. Had I not had the DVT I wouldn't even know of this syndrome. But there were no clear or obvious causes of either presented to me, and still the causes are numerous.

Thankfully many aspects of BDSM that would be a no go with blood thinners are areas I have little interest in.

I also now have controlled blood pressure... and surely if I lose a few of the extra pounds I carry with me my bp would be even better.

Since I'm 28, and do not plan on walking around in a padded suit, or live in fear of potential injury for the rest of my life, I have to live carefully, but not so protected as to not try new things. I hope that makes sense.

(in reply to camille65)
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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/24/2009 8:29:02 PM   
Caillin


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/4/2009
Status: offline 		I have severe neuropathy, which in my case means that the nerves in my left knee are constantly screwed up. My Dom came up with a great analogy. If you've ever had a sore tooth you know how much it can hurt when you don't touch it, and how much more it hurts if you touch it or cold hits. Now take that, and multiply it over the whole knee (lower thigh to mid calf).

It does change how we live and play. I can't kneel at all, and even sitting cross-legged for more than a few minutes is not an option. Standing is limited. And we have to be very careful when wrestling. The biggest challenge is that knowing that I will eventually have to go to the hospital while marked (if my knee is hit passing out isn't unusual, and people generally try to be helpful and call an ambulance). We'll deal with that hurdle when we get there.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/24/2009 8:41:28 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I was seeing a guy who claimed to have Aspergers syndrome, although I never saw any signs of it.  He claimed doctors said it causes inability to balance (as the OP suggests she gets)...that is why he doesn't drive or own a car.

On the verge of us breaking up, he calls to say all of a sudden he leased a car.  Uh huh

Lying is also has a disabling effect.  So LA is right, there are many forms of disabilities. 

We were 'on' again (for the upteenth time and nothing to do with the car) and never did see that vehicle. By some 'odd miracle' it *coughs bullshit* got away from him one day and went up a curb and busted the underparts.  It was supposedly returned to the leasing corp. ya that simple?

There was no car, never was.  What I don't appreciate is someone lying in having some 'imaginary' disease to make excuses and causing even bigger lies in a snowball effect.

(in reply to Caillin)
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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/24/2009 9:27:05 PM   
elegantalexis


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Go away on a hospitalization trip and I see came4u awaiting approval and Lockit is back (YEA!!!).

I have to deal with my own Bipolar (mixed episodes), ADD, OCD, PTSD from being raped when I was 11 and someone violated my hard limits recently, causing the unwelcome flashbacks, nightmares and lack of sleepfrom Hel.  I also deal with my fibromyalgia, TMJ and CTS.  Luckily recent tests says my thyroid is good and I am not prediabetic, like some folks in this household was thinking I was...

I deal all of this disorders one day at a time.  I just got started on valproic acid (Depakote), replacing the Cymbalta which was not doing a damned thing for me...(imagine going 3.5 years without any mood stabliziers....I am surprised I am still alive!)  For my ADD, I just concentrate or hyperfocus on what I am doing.  Any external stimuli can throw me off bad, making me upset.  The OCD, I just working it into counting stitches when I am crocheting.  The last PTSD attack was the item that put me in the hospital because someone swore I would be safe and that no one will push my hard limits (I was sodomized when I was 11 at this time of year 30 years ago) and someone thought he had the bloody right to push that limit, even with me begging for him to stop.  I thought that the right to say "No" was to be respected no matter if you are vanilla, kinky or use the entire chicken to tickle your feet.

Okay, off the soapbox now.  The meds are kicking in and my back is spasming up from this cold climate....I hear the tub with hot suds calling me...

Shahar

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/25/2009 6:13:42 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		Aspergers syndrome is a form of austism, so I can see how a person is not allowed to have a vehicle while suffering from AS.  There are transport companies made for talking anyone with austism to school, the stores, the doctors and so forth.  Its just dealing with the social interaction that can be crippling.

(Is ElegantAlexis's Shahar with her own account).

(in reply to elegantalexis)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/25/2009 8:05:07 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Aspergers syndrome is a form of austism, so I can see how a person is not allowed to have a vehicle while suffering from AS.
  Oh I don't dispute that he actually might have it (but knowing him, he is just too cheap to buy a car) the point is that he lied about not having it (and all of a sudden a cure) just to try to get hooked back up. *posted about this longgg ago, the stupid things men do to try to get their foot back in your door.

So, since the topic was whether symptoms of disease get in the way of a relationship my point was that using a disease to lie about various situations is wrong, and that lying (compulsively or otherwise) is a harmful disease category in itself.




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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/26/2009 7:15:01 PM   
Eraser


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/11/2008
Status: offline 		I'm the of the people around with AS.  It's a pain in the ***!

I'm a very mild case, but I can read alot of the nonverbal signals, there's just some sort of blockage in the instinctual "what to do about it" area.

It wreaks havoc on relationships if people aren't understanding enough and makes it damn impossible to find someone right for you.  Hell thats why I'm here.  And it's a serious pain that can be confusing as hell and sends mixed signals.

Like alot of the time because of symptoms like the eye contact and things that are near impossible to control, I outwardly appear submissive, which even in vanilla relationships usually is a huge turnoff.  But I know damn well I'm not submissive, even though I don't walk around like the typical alpha male, I'm utterly impossible to control or intimidate (people tend to learn that the hard way) but that's also the product of AS.

(in reply to came4U)
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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/26/2009 7:21:38 PM   
Sanguinarian


Posts: 474
Joined: 8/13/2008
Status: offline 		I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Dissociative Disorder. Well controlled by medication now but before medication was in the picture, any stressful situation would cause an episode of Dissociative Identity Disorder ( also known as multiple personalities ) Anyone I happen to be with either in a friends' circle or scening sense are told this, so if in the event I 'fall back' into an episode, they know what to do.

Thank all the gods there are I haven't had an episode in three years though.

Aside from that, in 2001, I was in a bad car accident that crushed my right hip and shoulder. My hip is better, aside from the occasional limp in bad weather and constant ache, but my shoulder is royally screwed. Anything repetitive I just can't do. Makes things difficult, but they can be worked around. If given enough time.


< Message edited by Sanguinarian -- 2/26/2009 7:34:13 PM >

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/26/2009 11:02:55 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Like alot of the time because of symptoms like the eye contact and things that are near impossible to control,


Eraser can you explain this????

Can you not look people in the eye or the opposite?  Because one thing this guy did do was stare at people inappropriately (restraunts, subway) etc.  I found it quite unsettling, obnoxious and embarassing (and I felt bad for the people around).

(in reply to Sanguinarian)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/26/2009 11:42:12 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		My Lord has a heart condition.  I have to wonder, every night, whether or not he's going to be there when we are done.  I've had some scary moments.  The only major impact I've noticed have been the length of the sessions (down from two hours to one), and sometimes the intensity.  He's determined to die fucking.  He says it's the best way to go.

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RE: Problems because of syndromes, diseases etc.? - 2/27/2009 2:17:16 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tatshua

Right now there is a thread about Aspergers syndrome that is a very intresting read. And educational to those who'd like to know more. This thread kindof got born in a sugjestion from the Asperger thread that there should be a broader thread about different syndromes and so on.

So, I wonder, is there anyone here that has a certain syndrome or something similar that can make it a little harder to do your fetish? Or maybe something that you have to think about when in the middle of a scene or just telling your sub what to do?

For myself it's not that bad except that I have bad hearing, so a dom might have to speak a little clearer for me to be able to hear. And I also have bad balance, if that whould ever be any problem.

So... Yeah, got any experience to share of how you go around the problems that might occure of a sub or a dom has a certain syndrome that might make it hard, or impossible, to do some things?

I'm being driven slightly nuts with a Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) and have "stepped back" and doing the reclusive lifestyle for now while I get my head around the longterm ramifications and limitations etc. 
 
The subs I've known since the onset (of CRPS) have been really good about it (God, I love fem/subs.... lol) but it's been me who's having difficulty accepting the limitations.  So for now, I'm "enjoying" the simple life, which isn't all bad in many ways....
 
Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Tatshua)
Profile   Post #: 100
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