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how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 3:57:21 PM   
blacksub40


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		how long should a sub/slave wait before she agree to be owned by a master/dom? i am really feeling this guy that want to own me. we have never met, we talk on the phone all the time. we have been talking on the phone for about 3 weeks is that long enough. i am very new to this i dont have any exp.
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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:13:11 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		i would talk on the phone long enough to feel comfortable and than move to a first meeting to see if you actually do like the guy. i went out with a guy who i though, on the phone and in im, was going to be a great guy. Turns out we weren't compatiable once we met in person. The only thing i would say is to continue talking on the phone, agree to meet him in public somewhere and see if you still feel the same way. You may or may not.
   Best of luck

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:13:11 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
Sorry, there's no standard answer or chart to refer to.  When it's right for you both, it's right.  Only the two of you can make that determination.
 
John
 
P.S. - For a fee of $ 19.95 per month, I will make those decisions for you.


_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:14:48 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Umm...at the very least, wait till you've actually met him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksub40

how long should a sub/slave wait before she agree to be owned by a master/dom? i am really feeling this guy that want to own me. we have never met, we talk on the phone all the time.

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:15:04 PM   
SeeksOnlyOne


Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		wait til you meet face to face....a few times.....the online chemistry doesnt always turn into real life chemistry......and if its real and meant to be, the extra time invested wont be a big deal....

good luck

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:21:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well- what does being owned mean?

Do you mean owned to be "personal property of another human committed solely to their expectations in life until death do us part" sort of thing?

Or do you mean "Something to put on my profile that feels really hot and awesome until one of us finds something cooler?"

And generally, if you have to ask the question, it's not time.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:22:19 PM   
blacksub40


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		the other thing is that i am in Louisiana, hes in Detroit. when we meet for the first time he want me to move there and be owned by him. he plan for me to come there the end of the year

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:25:49 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		What is your commitment level to this sort of relationship?  What is his?  I should think that the answer to those questions should give you the information about yourself that you need.

You probably won't hear this from anywhere else, but that's all right.  Of the BDSM relationships I've had over the past 16+ years (more than 5, fewer than 10 I should think), the vast majority of them were culminated in a commitment by the first physical meeting.  Most of them were live-in, and their duration lasted anywhere from many months to many years.  Of the ones that were live-in, the shortest was 8 months.  Not forever, but not fly-by-night, either.

The relationship I'm in now isn't live-in yet (as distance does not make it practical), although we certainly will be living together soon.  And I think it would be fair to say that most of our details had been worked out by the time of the first meeting as well.

Wasn't anywhere near 3 weeks though.  That's an eternity.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:36:14 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Huh?  Your profile says that you are collared.  In my understanding, that means you are owned.  Are you questioning your wisdom now?  And you're collared without having met him?  To each his or her own.

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:40:26 PM   
blacksub40


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		he changed my profile, he said that if i trusted him and want him i would allow him to change my profile to let others know i am not looking while i am in training

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:41:39 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Honey, how do you feel about all of this?  You know what he wants...what do you want?

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:43:55 PM   
blacksub40


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		i feel good about him its the move that scares me. i am older than he is what if this is a phase.

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:46:27 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		OK, then tell him that.  You need to meet with him several times before you can consider a move.  Personally, it would be next to impossible for me to consider anything like that.  I have a rather good job and UM commitments that I won't break.  If it's right, it will weather the test of time (OMG!  I did NOT just say that).

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:49:49 PM   
blacksub40


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		we have talked about all of this he say its not a phase that hes real. i have a good job also. but to fulfil my desires i will make the move.

(in reply to bandit25)
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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:51:46 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksub40

we have talked about all of this he say its not a phase that hes real. i have a good job also. but to fulfil my desires i will make the move.


He could tell you he was the Wizzard of Oz too... but somehow words never really quite convey your own perspective. 


_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:53:18 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Then I don't understand what your question is.  You said that he is real and that you are going to make the move.  Are you looking for someone to agree with you or to talk you out of it?

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:55:21 PM   
blacksub40


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		like i said i am new to all of this, i dont know what i am looking for with these questions sorry for wasting your time bandit

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:57:42 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		 according to your profile you have made your choice.

but i dont think you should concider moving anywhere till ya all meet

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:58:14 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		You're not wasting my time...I simply didn't understand what you're asking.  There is no time frame or time limit.  There's no manual.  There's no one true way.  It's what's right for both of you.  I guess what I interpreted is that he is doing most of the talking and deciding.  This is your life too.  Once you have decided to be his, then yes, he may make all of the decisions, but the first (and most important decision in my opinion) is if you have decided that he is the Master for you.

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RE: how long should i wait to be owned - 7/1/2007 4:58:53 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I think your unsure if you are doing the right thing. All I can tell you is, be careful. You do not really know this man, he could be just about anything. It would be prudent to meet him a few times before giving up your job and moving away. There has been more than one slave who gave up everything to go and meet a Master/Mistress only to find out they were nothing like they had thought. A few of those ended up penniless and trying to find a way back home...Save your self the heartache, take your time. If its meant to be, it will be.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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