iFraudius
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Joined: 5/16/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: domiguy
Of course when we finally meet and my 6'3" frame has been whittled down to 5'4" don't be dissapointed...It's all part of the game.
And it's a part of "the game" (or the marketing ploy) which will leave an underlying pool of uncertainty about whomever does it, which whatever they hoped to have hidden, obscured or overcome with their dazzling presence when they finally grace you with it, will forever be tainted by.
Whether it's the man who shrinks several inches, or the woman who ages a decade (or more) and has you wondering who the hell that person getting off the plane really is, the ploys, obfuscation's and ... oh hell, you say it so much better ... quote:
ORIGINAL: domiguy
I'll take this one step further....Online relationships are bullshit. the odds that your investment of time and emotion will result in false expectations and worse pain to come make it mostly a fools game.
The people who succeed at it are an infinitesimal percentage of those who try, highly over represented in forums such as this, because after all, they are people who feel that comfortable in the online environment.
Meeting people who are local, either by meeting them quickly or through actual social involvement with like minded folk, is so dramatically more productive and satisfying, there's really little to compare.
I said the following to someone I'd met locally:
"It struck me that a unique element in our coming together, is that it's the first time in a long while that I've met someone, not via some initial internet contact, but in person, without any prior knowledge or anticipation, other than knowing I was being introduced by a loved and trusted friend, and not even with that intention. I really didn't expect more than the experience of the evening spent with friends.
The things we have found in each other are all as the result of an actual interaction, which inspired us to communicate further. I am so enjoying having had the "experience of the real you" prior to attempting to communicate and reveal more about myself. I think one of the failings of meeting people with whom we try to communicate some of those things before meeting, is the obvious limitation of the media available, devoid of all the triggers and cues and body language we have evolved to utilize. Having made that initial investment lacking those, we are left free to apply those rose colored glasses you refer to, prior to the more profound experience of the whole person. In such cases, it's sometimes too easy to try and fit the person to the preconception, which of course is favorable, or why would we have pursued it that point?" And that's the crux of the matter: We want what we want and we will fill in the blanks with the best possible answers and filter out what, in person, would be so much more difficult to ignore. The bad habits, the annoying mannerisms and the contrived personality that wears thin when it has to exist in three dimensions. The question I'd ask the vast majority of people for whom online relationships have not only failed to mature to what they hoped for, but frequently have brought painful results (assuming you don't live where the population per square mile is 2 or 3) is, why would you continue to place a bet with such bad odds?
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"I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned. When you're not feeling holy, your loneliness says that you've sinned." - Leonard Cohen
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RE: Reality is... - 
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.....well said, Creative..........luci
. Another approach may be for people to state their opinions as being such instead of stating them as facts that must be accepted by everyone who has any sense. I love hearing differing opinions, especially people's reasoning behind why the feel the ways they do. What I hate is hearing someone boldly announce that if I (or anyone else) doesn't think/do exactly the same way they do, that I (or the others) are WRONG or STUPID or SICK or blah, blah, blah. That's the difference to me. To say online relationships "suck" and are "less than" and "never work," etc. is not just an opinion about your own decisions. It's a proclamation that anyone who thinks otherwise isn't right. I may love hearing others' opinions but I don't like hearing how I'm wrong simply because I do things they choose not to............luci 
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