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RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 5:24:45 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart
Before the days of the internet, if you were writing to a pen pal, did you call it a "relationship...."
:))
LH

Many people did, once they had written and learned enough about the other to fall in love. There are many stories of women who wrote to soldiers, sailors, and airmen during the World Wars to have those men come home and marry them.

You are just pen pals as long as you have no emotional involvement whatsoever. Once you feel yourself starting to feel something for the other person, and they return it; once you make a commitment; once you have decided "this person is important to me" and vice versa, it is a relationship.

TallDarkandWitty is free to feel that anyone HE writes to is nothing but a penpal until he meets in person. But he can't tell ME that anyone I meet online is nothing but a penpal until I meet them in person, because it is not true.

I encourage the use of a dictionary for the term "relationship".

~E

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to LadyHeart)

Post #: 81

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 5:59:40 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

It troubles me that for a site that is a PERSONALS site, most everyone is anti online relationships. People get talked down to and disrespected because they have an issue to bring to the boards, but they haven't met the Dom/sub, that is the subject or reason for their post, in person...

I think its positively absurd that as a society, we're not very accepting of online relationships unless we're in one.

It just feels like an intolerance to me... and considering theres a lot of the world that isn't very tolerant of us as a whole... it would be nice if we could be kind, and help eachother without the "are you kidding me? they haven't met in person yet? let me post about how they should meet, or how stupid i think it is that they haven't, because in person contact is the only way to a real relationship" because thats unkind...

This is what the thread is about....Online relationships where people have never met.....I simply decided to throw in the aspect that online ldr's are equally as lame....I could care less whether any of you have found success....A primary online relationship is not a very good idea....It is full of hazards that can be avoided by talking online to someone locally and then meeting...Voila!!!....And I could care less if you have found your significant other in Guam....It just means you traveled a whole lot farther than necessary because the person you are looking for is there and there and....Ooooh, there's another one!!....And then the question one should pose is once meeting your online lover from Guam...How many of you were completely bummed? I have talked to women on line ...I don't dick around, we have a nice conversation...Describe ourselves....If everything sounds cool we meet! I have talked to women off of CM when I pressed them about meeting they made it known that the pic in their profile is a little dated and they have gained around a hundred pounds since it was taken....We didn't meet. If I met someone at the grocery store I wouldn't say to them, "maybe we should talk on line for a few months to see what we have in common." Fuck no! let's go have dinner and a few drinks and see what shakes.

This thread is not about online dating....If anyone meets out here they met online....It really is fairly obvious....I have met women off of this site....We talked we met....No long drawn out computer chat, no cyber sex, no discussion in any details of this dynamic.....We meet...As I said above, I can glean in ten minutes of face to face more than I probably could learn in months in an online fiasco.

No one is criticizing meeting online...It is what transpires from there that the op is bringing to light....Do you meet or not?...And how we should all be "accepting" of "online relationships".....No Fucking Way!!! I'm not!...I think they are stupid. If someone chooses to participate in one and they ask me my opinion which the op did.....I would say, "I think you are being dumb."

Go with God.

We clear?????

< Message edited by domiguy -- 7/6/2007 6:01:52 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 82

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 6:28:19 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

It troubles me that for a site that is a PERSONALS site, most everyone is anti online relationships. People get talked down to and disrespected because they have an issue to bring to the boards, but they haven't met the Dom/sub, that is the subject or reason for their post, in person...

Really? You know I've belonged to several PERSONALS sites. Even paid for them. None of them had a "friends only" box. Or a way to make couples profiles. I guess this isn't a solely PERSONALS site.

quote:

I think its positively absurd that as a society, we're not very accepting of online relationships unless we're in one.

First of all, a relationship isn't any more or less of anything just because you haven't met in person yet. I am unwilling to spend the gas that EVERYONE (Dom or sub) asks me to spend to go meet them for the first time, without knowing if we're compatable on any levels. Especially within the two week time frame that seems to be the only tolerable length of an online relationship.

It seems silly to drive to someone and waste that time and money to discover things you could have easily found out if you had put a little more time into online conversation before you met in person.

Weird. To me it seems really silly to get emotionally involved before spending the time and money and find out if we actually *click* in real life. And that I'm willing to have sex with them.

quote:

BUT here's the thing...

Problems... or questions... arise in person and online just the same... And even questions that would seem to stem from the beginning of a relationship still get groans of frustration or gasps of surprise from some of you out there... like it can't be possibly worth answering a question for someone who hasn't met their partner in person... or like its unrealistic to think that questions could arise that way to begin with because the relationship isn't anything serious.

Every relationship has to start somewhere... a Dom or sub doesn't just appear out of nowhere perfectly made for you, without some time and effort put into it.

It just feels like an intolerance to me... and considering theres a lot of the world that isn't very tolerant of us as a whole... it would be nice if we could be kind, and help eachother without the "are you kidding me? they haven't met in person yet? let me post about how they should meet, or how stupid i think it is that they haven't, because in person contact is the only way to a real relationship" because thats unkind...

You know, there is a difference between an online relationship and one in the real world. I've done both. The online one is nice, but if you haven't bothered to meet yet... well why haven't you? If this is a "real" relationship, what is stopping you from spending the money to go see them? If they are so great, wouldn't you like to meet them in them person?

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/6/2007 7:14:58 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 83

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 6:50:11 PM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
Status: offline

well the specific instance that this post relates to is one where we were "in a relationship" but schedules hadn't matched to meet up yet...

and then it failed before it began...

so intentions were clear
we were in a relationship
with the idea of meeting... soon

and then it all fell away

thus creating the situation of a relationship... even though it failed before real time in person connections occured

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 84

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 7:19:24 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

well the specific instance that this post relates to is one where we were "in a relationship" but schedules hadn't matched to meet up yet...

and then it failed before it began...

so intentions were clear
we were in a relationship
with the idea of meeting... soon

and then it all fell away

thus creating the situation of a relationship... even though it failed before real time in person connections occured

If it failed a few weeks, maybe a month or two in, I can understand. But a wonderful friend of mine once said to a mutual friend whose new girlfriend lived across town "If you aren't willing to ride the bus to the pussy, you don't deserve the pussy". If, after a few months certainly, you haven't made time in your schedule to meet the other person who you think is so wonderful... well... ya just don't deserve to have the pussy. Or dick, whatever your pleasure.

But then again - most relationships fail. Particularly in the early stages. Sorry if I don't a three week long relationship, particularly one where the people haven't even seen each other face-to-face, a lot of credit. I think they can work, if people are willing to put in the effort and risk of wasting the time and gasoline to, you know, meet.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 85

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 8:52:28 PM

satyrsnymph28

Posts: 379
Status: offline

the official dictionary definition of a relationship is...

get ready for this folks

A ROMANTIC OR PASSIONATE ATTACHMENT

pen-pal my ass... if you are attached in a romantic or passionate way... its a relationship... online or not

pen pals are those kids you write to in another country when you're in 4th grade when you learn how to write letters... or at least thats the only pen pal i have ever had in my life thus far...

thanks :)

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 86

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 9:17:38 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

the official dictionary definition of a relationship is...

get ready for this folks

A ROMANTIC OR PASSIONATE ATTACHMENT

pen-pal my ass... if you are attached in a romantic or passionate way... its a relationship... online or not

pen pals are those kids you write to in another country when you're in 4th grade when you learn how to write letters... or at least thats the only pen pal i have ever had in my life thus far...

thanks :)

{{{Satyrsnymph}}} I believe it, and many others here believe it.
You can't convince every one to agree with you, especially on here.
Reality is usually very subjective.
Look as long as you and I agree on this, we are okay!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 87

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 9:19:04 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Cams and fonts don't make my dick more sucked, or your apple pie more real, or flakey-------------------

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 7/6/2007 9:20:34 PM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 88

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 9:22:45 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Ok. My friend is in love with Patrick Stewart. She definately has a romantic and passionate attachment to him. Does that mean she is in a relationship with him?

And by the way... putting your words is really huge, annoying font does not make you magically correct or make you look any more intelligent. And you do realize that different dictionaries use different meanings right? And that there are lots of different kinds of relationships? You have a relationship with your friends, your parents, your co-workers... so on.

Here is relationship defined by dictionary.com

1.
a connection, association, or involvement.

2.
connection between persons by blood or marriage.

3.
an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students.

4.
a sexual involvement; affair.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Post #: 89

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 9:27:01 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

But I bet you won't find Ron's version of "apple pie" in the thesaurus.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 90

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 9:28:58 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin
I encourage the use of a dictionary for the term "relationship".

And I encourage the use of a brain.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 91

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 9:30:28 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

it is the slice that perhaps is not as white and crisp as it could be, but it has enamoured me.............personal thing you see

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to slaveish)

Post #: 92

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 9:42:37 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
If I met someone at the grocery store I wouldn't say to them, "maybe we should talk on line for a few months to see what we have in common." Fuck no! let's go have dinner and a few drinks and see what shakes.

I see the number of people who actually get it has increased by at least one since I last frequented these fora with any regularity.

Let me just say that I have liked (and, for the most part agreed with) everything Domiguy has written that I have read. I look forward to more of your posts!!!

Taggard

< Message edited by TallDarkAndWitty -- 7/6/2007 9:48:11 PM >

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 93

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 9:45:29 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

Nothin' wrong with soggy pie.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 94

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 10:36:22 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

To the OP, BIG fonts aren't neccessary, they just make you look pushy and desperate to try to 'prove' something, very immature.

I have had pen-pals, I still do, one in the UK, she an I are friends, we exchange Christmas cards and have for years, she is a great friend, when I was in the UK 5 years ago, we almost met, a storm kept that from happening. I count her among one of my closest friends. I have other friends online that I have known for years, we have talked on the phone, exchange Christmas cards and b-day cards, etc; we don't 'live' our friendship online. An o/l relationships is LIVED online, even if only for a period of time, its not real.

Online is what it is, its online. You can be in lust with someone via online or get to know someone online, heck, thats how a decent portion of us on here met the person we are with, via online.

I can go on the 'collarme cruise' on the other board on here and get a 'drink' yet, is it real? nope. Its FAKE. Its a chance to excape from eality for a bit. Gettign my ass 'spanked' online don't mean its real, it makes it was done ONLINE. Does my ass hurt afterwards, not from it getting spanked, maybe from sitting down too long.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to slaveish)

Post #: 95

RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 12:10:44 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

Couple of questions to people in general.....

How many men have had ongoing chats with females online only to find out that they are actually men pretending to be female?
How many women have had ongoing chats with men they think will be the perfect Dom/sub only to find out way down the line they are actually married and only looking for a bit of online fun?

People can be what they want online. All too often the online persona bears little resemblence to the real life person. How many times have people said that posters say things here that they would never say to someone face to face. The internet can give you a false sense of who and what someone is.

I know of one couple who had a ongoing online conversation with a woman as a potential 3rd for their relationship. When they became worried about some of her actions the stopped talking to her but she stalked them and constantly tried to come between them. Only after calling on the help of a police friend did they find out that she was actually a HE.

I see nothing wrong with meeting people online. I met Master on another lifestyle site but we met quite quickly once we discovered that we were interested. There is a difference between thoset that have had some real life contact with someone and then continue that relationship online to those that have a totally online "relationship"

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)

Post #: 96

RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 1:19:01 AM

themischievous1

Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

If you have never met your partner then you are pen-pals. If you have met him, you are in a LDR. You see, the difference between being pen-pals and being in a LDR is that people who have never actually met in person do not have a real relationship.

Quite simple, really...

Taggard

I completely disagree. I think this is a black and white statement that doesn't take into account many shades of gray, nor the particulars of each individual's situation. For many an online relationship meets needs that real time cannot. There are those that are extremely disabled that simply aren't going to get lucky in real time, however they'll experience an important, meaningful connection and something real for them online. Who are we to judge and criticize something like that?

There are those who are unattractive for whatever the reason, who find it difficult to hook up; yet they can do so through this cyber venue. Who are we to discount them a measure of happiness?

Whatever the reason for hooking up online, what purpose is there in demeaning those who are getting their needs met through this venue? Leave them the hell alone and pay attention to your own backyard, which probably needs weeding anyway, unless you're jealous, of course...heh.

< Message edited by themischievous1 -- 7/7/2007 1:21:09 AM >

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 97

RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 1:28:38 AM

themischievous1

Posts: 151
Joined: 4/3/2005
From: San Antonio, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin
I encourage the use of a dictionary for the term "relationship".

And I encourage the use of a brain.

Taggard

-coughs- Then use yours, Taggard, and try not to be so judgmental and intolerant just because people are finding happiness through venues you can't understand that aren't right for you.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 98

RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 5:15:15 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: themischievous1

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

If you have never met your partner then you are pen-pals. If you have met him, you are in a LDR. You see, the difference between being pen-pals and being in a LDR is that people who have never actually met in person do not have a real relationship.

Quite simple, really...

Taggard

I completely disagree. I think this is a black and white statement that doesn't take into account many shades of gray, nor the particulars of each individual's situation. For many an online relationship meets needs that real time cannot. There are those that are extremely disabled that simply aren't going to get lucky in real time, however they'll experience an important, meaningful connection and something real for them online. Who are we to judge and criticize something like that?

There are those who are unattractive for whatever the reason, who find it difficult to hook up; yet they can do so through this cyber venue. Who are we to discount them a measure of happiness?

Whatever the reason for hooking up online, what purpose is there in demeaning those who are getting their needs met through this venue? Leave them the hell alone and pay attention to your own backyard, which probably needs weeding anyway, unless you're jealous, of course...heh.

No matter what your body type, if you have a good personality, there is someone out there for you. There is, in fact, a fetish for the disabled. Now, if they think the best they can do is an online relationship, I certainly won't take it away from them. But unless they are lying to their online boyfriend/girlfriend and telling them that they aren't disabled, I would still wonder why their great partner doesn't want to meet them eventually.

Online relationships serve a purpose. But, having done both, they are a hell of a lot more convient time wise and hell of a lot less difficult in many ways, and a hell of a lot less rewarding. They just aren't the same creature as a relationship where you actually meet.

Edited for a typo

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/7/2007 5:33:43 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 99

RE: Reality is... - 7/7/2007 5:16:13 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: themischievous1
Who are we to judge and criticize something like that?

Why is a simple statement of fact considered a criticism??? There is nothing wrong with having a pen-pal. Pen-pals can make us laugh and smile and can even inspire something close to real love. They are not, however, participants in a "real" relationship. The emotions felt by the participants in an online-only connection are real, the bonds are not.

I am not sure why you think I am judging a person who has pen-pals to be less. Right now, I have at least three online-only affairs going on. Of course, I plan on turning them into real relationships at the first possibility, but, for now, they are simply a few pen-pals of mine.

quote:

There are those who are unattractive for whatever the reason, who find it difficult to hook up; yet they can do so through this cyber venue.

Ah yes, the internet is the last refuge of the ugly!

quote:

Who are we to discount them a measure of happiness?

Do you think men who visit prostitutes one time have a "real" relationship with their whores? Does acknowledging the lack of substance in their relationships discount them a measure of happiness? Pen-pals can make you happy...they just can't be counted as amongst the relationships of any depth.

quote:

Leave them the hell alone and pay attention to your own backyard, which probably needs weeding anyway, unless you're jealous, of course...heh.

Jealous of what? Is it better for them to think that they are in something that they are not? I have lived both lives...online-only contact is simply a pale shadow of the real thing and believing anything else is simple ignorance.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to themischievous1)

Post #: 100

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