RE: Reality is...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Reality is...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Reality is...

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 3:42:43 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

luci

, you know what?

You

tried to pick a fight with me from our very first encounter... it's true that I don't respond that well to catty, female fights. You are obviously very-well trained at them: it's not in my interest.

PEACE

_____________________________

(in reply to slaveluci)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 3:51:08 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl
just because i cannot easily meet Daddy or pick up and move (especially when i have 2 UMs and i have to consider what's best for them - not for me) to where Daddy lives doesn't mean we're solely pen pals.

If you have never met your partner then you are pen-pals. If you have met him, you are in a LDR. You see, the difference between being pen-pals and being in a LDR is that people who have never actually met in person do not have a real relationship.

Quite simple, really...

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 3:53:06 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

luci , you know what? You tried to pick a fight with me from our very first encounter... it's true that I don't respond that well to catty, female fights. You are obviously very-well trained at them: it's not in my interest.

PEACE

Not so, KittenSol. I remember well our first encounter and it was a polite one. A remark was made about a "new breed" of subs and I responded. You then chimed in following my response and we shared an "onscreen" laugh about a genetically engineered sub. I found you quite funny and observant as I still do on most occasions. Nary another word was exchanged until the "Surrendered Wives" thread where many heatedly flew back and forth. Even throughout that, I made several attempts at humor and peacemaking and asked if you could just at least SEE my point even if you could never agree with it. You would never say you could. That's cool too. At least your honest. I rather enjoy debating you. You can definitely make a point. The tension comes in because I don't like anyone - including myself if I were to do so - telling others their way is wrong. That's where the sticking point with us always is and probably always will be. Other than that, you're alright. (And I'm not even going to put any smileys in this. Damn, I'm trying.) I would add that to refer to me as "catty," however, is sooooo offbase. I'm lots of things but catty and bratty - that just ain't two of 'em.

Just an aside: I don't pick fights, I simply stand up for what I believe as you do. I have no problem swallowing my pride and admitting I'm wrong when I am. I used to have some major issues with another slave on these boards and wasn't real swift about disguising it. I eventually came to terms with her, we exchanged some PM's, and I gave her a true, heartfelt apology. That apology was because I had done the same thing to her that I have a problem with you and others doing now - judging her relationship as sick, wrong, and abusive. It was not my place to do that and I finally admitted that and apologized to her. That's why I get so upset when others do what I subjected her to. Just some insight to add to your psychological profile of me

.....Sorry, just one......I couldn't resist. Peace, luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to kittinSol)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 3:55:12 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

once again you have made a blanket assumption on your part. we're aren't pen pals ...we are in a healthy, happy and successful long distance relationship even if we cannot meet every day like a 24/7 r/t relationship.

oh btw - we have met ...so i have proved my point ...and oh another thing, OUR type of relationship fits solely for Daddy and myself ...at least we don't snobbishly look down on other relattionships like you are doing with your arrogant and one-sided opinion. we do not negate that having a BDSM relationship requires that the twp persons meet as if it was in some holier-than-thous BDSM bible. if so please quote chapter and verse - thank you

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 7/6/2007 4:00:06 PM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 3:55:25 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Everything posted is obviously my opinion....I don't post the words "in my opinion" because I happen to be the motherfucker typing these words....If someone doesn't place quotations around a sentence and attribute it to someone else I always assume that is their position. Pet peeve...you don't need to write IMHO...it is self evident.

We think we are all so fucking special...And it is just by luck that someone marries their high school sweetheart and stays married to the ripe old age of 100. Is it because they found their soulmate! Bullshit! The reality is we are all rather compatible with each other...There are million luci's out there and 17 domiguys <---------This is a fucking joke....Please don't jump down my throat....We all think we are soooooo fucking lucky to have found each other like it was some sort of miracle....None of us are that special...This fact does not make me trivialize my relationships....You make a connection in this world...It's wonderful .....But it is far from luck...And in truth there is always someone better....It doesn't mean we jump ship. But it is ignorant at least not to consider the possibilities.

If someone takes what I post and sites it as their gospel...they are incredibly wise...But it's not one size fits all....I am a realist...And my suggestion should be given extreme weight...lol...I don't know any of you....You might be the type of person that gets attached to anything that moves or you might be the most discerning individual alive....I don't know! The fact is that if you are capable of finding someone local aren't you better off?....So you were successful...Big deal! There are a many more who are not and your success should be tempered with a word of severe caution that one should consider before engaging into an online relationship.

If someone has the tools and the personality and all of the attributes and a large enough surrounding population that might enable them to meet someone in their vicinity I think it is a much wiser choice than conducting an online ldr.

quote:

slaveluci
There are a million stories of folks who have conned people face-to-face. The library is full of books about men who marry women and lead a "double life" with other families and things going on the wives have no clue about. Actually laying eyes on someone doesn't make the possibility of being "fooled" any less real.........luci

Really!!! What an interesting an truly uniformed opinion....I won't even take the time to address this one. (I can't help myself) So you are saying in your infinite wisdom that face to face has the exact same chance of deception as online....RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDIIIIIIIIICUUUUUUUULLLLOUSSSSSS!!!!!

I'm just pointing out to people don't fall for the online bullshit....They are threads all of the time of folks wanting to know about this or that ....Which seem to defy logic....So now they have an opinion from someone saying don't waste your time...It's fine to meet online...take it to real time asap...And consider the hassles of an online relationship.....Can you tell by these words whether I'm 6'3"? Do I have a pussy or a cock? Do I have hair?
Are all of my responses something I have looked up? Am I single? Am I employed? How many teeth do I have? How much do I weigh? Do I have horrendous breath? Can I look you straight in the eye when having a conversation?

Gods speed to you all.

_____________________________

(in reply to MsPleasure)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:00:31 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
So you are saying in your infinite wisdom that face to face has the exact same chance of deception as online....RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDIIIIIIIIICUUUUUUUULLLLOUSSSSSS!!!!!

First of all, domiguy, I never claimed to have "infinite wisdom" and I sure never said there was the "exact same chance of deception." My point was....and I sincerely believe you already know this.....is that being in a r/t relationship does not insure that there will not be any deception. Simple as that - no more, no less was intended. Good post as usual...........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to domiguy)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:01:31 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl
oh btw - we have met ...so i have proved my point

If your point was that you aren't pen-pals, then your point is proven. It, however, has nothing to do with my point. My point is that people who don't meet are pen-pals.

You see, your point had nothing to do with my point. I never said people who don't live with each other are pen-pals. The internet has made LDRs a bit more bearable. But if you have never met, you are fooling yourself if you think you are actually in an LDR.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:08:16 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

so.......if none of yall have actually met......are you penpal fighting? ldr fighting? or real fighting?

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:08:53 PM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Quite a rant. Still, why does anyone else bother you?

On a seperate note, this is a single's ad site, you're entirely correct. Still, there is a message board here, and while I'm under the impression that the message board may be the primary concern for a minority, I know I'm not looking and imagine a fair portion aren't, either. So, meh, I wouldn't take it too hard if someone's just here to chat or so.

Also I'd also note that newspapers can be a medium for singles' ads, though it's not that people want a newspaper relationship. Not that I disagree with your sentiment- that people should be accepting of online relationships- simply I do not feel everyone should have to want one, either.

Anyhow, hope the rant helped you clear your mind a bit.

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)

Profile

Post #: 69

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:11:27 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne
so.......if none of yall have actually met......are you penpal fighting? ldr fighting? or real fighting?

Very good question, Seeks! I prefer to think of it as nitpicking....lol....I really don't consider it fighting. I love good, gritty debates with folks who don't totally agree. I just hate when it degenerates into fighting as it sometimes does. But, fortunately, the folks I end up butting heads with almost always have great senses of humor as I do, so it ends up working out just fine..............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Profile

Post #: 70

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:12:06 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

Not to hijack...but luci...you RAWK!

And, online relationships have the reality that the people involved give them. In fact, I moved from an area that had plenty of people involved in the scene to be with my Daddy. I suppose, it's just one of life's little quirks. Our online relationship was very real, from the beginning. We were both very aware of what we were able to commit and what we were not.

There are a host of differences between online relationships and those that are real time...but, I don't question the validity of the emotions involved in either. But, I have no reason to.

In general, people will always try to find a way to make their relationship seem better than the next...for some it's that we involve D/s and that makes it "deeper" and for others it's that the relationship is real time and that makes anything else a reflection of the real thing.

I certainly won't deny that there are certain physical impracticalities of an online or LDR relationship, but that's just one of the many facets.

I don't wish to go back to living far away from my Daddy, but I have found myself reaching for our "roots" by sending Him an e-mail or communicating in some other online fashion.

One other thing, when He goes to work our relationship doesn't cease to exist and it didn't cease to exist when I pressed the power button either.

Just some thoughts...

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to slaveluci)

Profile

Post #: 71

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:14:09 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

it has everything to do with your point. your assumption is no one has a real relationship (r/t or ldr) until the two meet face to face and they are only pen pals until that meeting. well i hope you enjoy thumping your nose with your i'm-in-a-real-relationship holier than thou attitude - just remember not every relationship can be molded and cookie cutted like yours. it would totally suck if they had to follow the same formulated ideal.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Profile

Post #: 72

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:30:49 PM

sublimelysensual

Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StellaByStarlite

See, everybody I've talked to that either is in an online relationship, or is seeking one, has all said the same basic thing:

" I'd be in a face to face relationship, but the pickings are SO slim/I live out in the boonies"

Doesn't that mean that they're actually settling by default? Settling for something less then what they actually want. That's not exactly a recipe for a healthy relationship, imo.

I have to admit, I met my husband in a chatroom, lol. BUT.. he lived 10 minutes away from me. So I don't even count our online chatting time as dating at all.

I think this depends on a few things..is the relationship always going to be online only? If so, yes, you could look at it as settling. But by the same token why should they settle for someone in the same town that isn't as compatible? That has habits that drive them absolutely crazy? Or should they just stay by themselves until that magical person comes along that's local? There's nothing wrong with not being in a relationship, but there's nothing wrong with pursuing one outside of the standard means, either.

I see meeting and getting to know someone online as a contact point, a tool, as Creative said. I have met people online, taken it offline, sometimes being very pleased with the result, other times not, but I've always learned something.

I live in a very small town..surrounded by other small towns *though we call them cities to make ourselves feel better, lol*. Point being that I've gone to the larger areas, and still found a veeery small pool of people who are actually active.. ie..attending munches and such and not: 1. Involved already 2.The wrong sex and sexual orientation for me or 3. A swinger looking for more partners (nothing wrong with that by the way, just not my thing). I enjoy the social aspects of wwiwd, so a requirement of mine is finding someone who also enjoys it. That also weeds out a lot of people, for whatever reasons. Right now driving 5-6 hrs, getting a motel room, getting a babysitter, spending fifty bucks for a tank of gas...all for a two hr event where I may or may not meet someone compatible...may be worth it and financially feasible down the road, but for now, it isn't.

the girl from the boonies...
-a

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." -Simone De Beauvoir -'The Second Sex'

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)

Profile

Post #: 73

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:36:25 PM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elorin

I personally agree with the OP.
Whether you think online relationships are valid or not isn't the point, as I see it.
The point is that if you don't think online relationships are valid, instead of getting on a thread and telling someone they are invalid, stupid, their relationship has no validity or reality - why not just leave them alone and keep your mouth shut?

My kink is not your kink, but your kink is ok.
Tolerance.
Acceptance.
Instead of backbiting someone, judging them, and posting something absolutely useless because someone ELSE chose to have an online relationship with yet ANOTHER someone else...leave well enough alone.

Why the nastiness and judgement? No one is asking YOU to have an online relationship.

The way people get pissed when they were asked for advice and then find out "WHAT? This is an ONLINE RELATIONSHIP?" it's like you would think they had been duped for thousands of dollars instead of what...10 minutes of their time? Instead of berating the person, just say "oh, well my advice might not work because it was geared for a RT relationship and assumed you see each other in person" and then walk away?

Elorin, I totally agree with what you are saying.
Many of us are on here to meet that special person, and guess what?
It IS online until we meet offline.
I have found it is better to ignore the all knowing around here that are so judgemental.
I have met many partners online, and I know of many people that met and married their partners
that they met online.
People have to meet somewhere, and there is a big difference between permanent online relationships
and online relationships in which the people involved are planning to meet in the near future.
But of course, the know it alls and judges around here would not get that.

(in reply to Elorin)

Profile

Post #: 74

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:46:21 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Before the days of the internet, if you were writing to a pen pal, did you call it a "relationship...."

:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Profile

Post #: 75

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:47:38 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I am mobile home livin, dental work needin, poor trash talkin, jerry springer type special and I resent those who say I can't find an online love that will be real!

Ok... part of that is true... hehe... but in all reality... my situation makes it very hard to get out and about. Can't you tell... I live on CM. Starting online is the only way I can start. Besides... if you have ever been to my town... and have seen the men here... omg... I would take a toad under a lilly pad first! Actually that sounds much better than my mobile home, but this is what worked when my disabled adult son needed it. {God I hate having to write that so I don't get bashed for talking about my son! But I understand the reasons... just hate that I keep saying it and people might think I NEED to say it.}

Online works for me for many reasons. It also doesn't work for me for many reasons. But until I get that dental work... finish my stint with jerry springer... find a financail slave... dump this mobile on some unsuspecting soul... what can I say? It works for me and is sooooooooooooo much fun... and damn it... I don't want to hear how not real Dakota is to me and how real I am not to him! hehe... no... you cannot read my instant messenger... but I might share some stories with you.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Profile

Post #: 76

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:52:11 PM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

Great post Lockit, but again the point is, You don't have to apologize for meeting
or wanting to meet people online.
We don't need to make excuses for why we look or meet people online.
It is so common, especially with the hundreds of vanilla dating sites in the world.
The fact that this topic even has to be discussed is what puzzles me.
My brother just married someone he met online.
Where do these judgemental people come from?
Who gets to decide how and where people meet other people?
Also, I met my current submissive on collarme.
Thank you collarme!

< Message edited by LadyIce -- 7/6/2007 4:54:50 PM >

(in reply to Lockit)

Profile

Post #: 77

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 4:54:58 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I hear ya... I don't know...

I guess this would go into my new filing system of the word 'stimulation' meanings.

(in reply to LadyIce)

Profile

Post #: 78

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 5:04:37 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

i think meeting someone online is an awesome beginning......if anything i said implied differently, it was not my intention.....the most delightful relationship i have had began as an IM...............

but to ME, and only ME, i did not and will never consider it a relationship from on-line and speaking on the phone......there is no way i could hand my emotions over to someone whos eyes i had never looked in, or had never touched..........

perhaps it is my way of thinking that keeps me from considering even the remote possibility that a person would be willing to hand over that part of them self to a font or a voice.......

get to know someone on here......meet them....live happily ever after.......i know couples that has happened for, in and out of this lifestyle..........

i know way more who have fallen in love with the idea of a person, that was presented in an ever so flowing way on here, only to have that person either just disappear and go poof, or be totally opposite of what they were able to fake with the written word.....

i am in no way capable of or willing to lay my emotions on the line to a font. if you are, by all means enjoy it.

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to LadyIce)

Profile

Post #: 79

RE: Reality is... - 7/6/2007 5:08:30 PM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

We are talking about two different things here.
Why would you fall in love or become serious with someone you have never met?
There is a big difference between, liking and wanting to meet someone and handing
over your life to a total stranger.
Who would be that stupid?
Until you meet, you are not even totally sure, WHAT you are talking to.
Is there a point here?
Online is normally a conduit to real time, only.
Also, webcams are a wonderful way to meet, prior to face to face.

< Message edited by LadyIce -- 7/6/2007 5:24:16 PM >

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Profile

Post #: 80