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RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:19:12 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear grlneedstolearn, Ladies and Gentlmen;

There can be many reasons why someone may not be willing to relocate. The main reason in my mind's eyes are the security issues. In moving from a secure and safe home, surroundings of friends, families and familiar places--it is hard to get out from a 'rut' or deep seated roots.

As for my situation currently, it is due to 'daughter's duty.' I am duty bound to take care of my surviving parent and relatives who find themself in need. I am also dealing with the parent's affairs. I cannot do so from a distance.

In the past, I have relocated where my slaves were. Most times their job, position and housing was more logical to maintain a safe place to live the lifestyle. Military shifts and houses off base and such--being a 'kept/maintained' woman --was easier then, my slaves were military officers and made more than I. But, mostly at my current age and circumstances -- I want to keep my roots buried. The area also supports the lifestyle and conventions/activities and or interactions.

This is why I prefer slaves to be local to me, as to keep either of us to give up our roots that are deep. If there is a parting of ways and or company; we are not found impoverished or without the ability to 'go home again.' I do not want to be one sided about safety, family, job and sense of security. In my mind's eyes --it is not about my lack of dominance and or control; it is about being fair and see the broader picture in maintaining my M/s relationship.

I am retired these days, though I am busy as a care giver --my freedom is from retirement, I could relocate if I so choosed. If I did relocate as a Dominant, I am sure I will take steps that I will be provided for and have control, as to not be on the curb from one moment of disagreement, etc.

It seems to be a real problem these days, when hasty moves have been a disaster. Left to their own devices to sink new roots and re-establish themselves.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

< Message edited by LadyHugs -- 7/8/2007 5:34:54 PM >

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 41

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:19:33 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I'm not willing to relocate because I have a home and my first slave and custody arrangements of her two UM's.
However I did leave TX and mobve to GA to retain the M/s relationship a year after she moved for her custody arrangement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BabyNyla

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

There is a control issue at hand when it comes to relocating. is the dominant supposed to move into YOUR home??????
I kinow that's not the way you put it or even thought it but it is a valid perspective non the less.
The person who in the legal vanilla sense of the word holds the lease or owns the home has a level of control.
Now if you are looking for "Equality" then the obvious solution is to have both parties move to neutral ground.
Far less than practicle but it certainly has equality.

My Dom moved to me ... but I put my house in his name after he did so ... so I don't view him moving to my house as an issue of control ...

Cut from the same post you cut from

"However I did leave TX and mobve to GA to retain the M/s relationship a year after she moved for her custody arrangement. "

So we have been in the same situation, In fact I moved 800 miles quit the best job I had up to that time ever had to retain the M/s relationship I had with my slave. So I'm not saying it should always be one or the other I am saying it has to be viewed with the power dynamic examined as well.

(in reply to BabyNyla)

Post #: 42

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:21:10 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

I put my house in his name after he did so

Wow. Did you wait a period of time after you established a relationship before doing this? Did you have a lot of your assets tied up in the equity of your house? (I ask this, because such would be the case for me and the overriding factor in why I would never consider such a thing).

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 43

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:21:59 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

We're circling around nothing.

Obviously the word Selfish is too charged for you to see the same way I see it.
So read it howevber you wish to.
IN MY WORLD (Capped for emphasis not shouting) Selfish does not have an automaticly bad connotation that it seems to in yours.

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 44

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:29:19 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

This is true. If something happens the person who moved can be out of luck. But that is why I think it's important to have money put away, in case something happens. When Valyraen moved in with me, he had friends here who he could crash with if something happened with us.

I think whoever moves should have a backup plan. I also just don't think it should automatically be the sub that moves. It should depend on the situation.

I agree Aquatic. I just dont understand why people assume that just because a submissive is a submissive she has to give up everything (or he has to give up everything whichever). I moved because the time was right and because I wanted to. i wasn't pushed and i know He wouldn't have pushed me but not every situation was like mine. In this case I'm better off where I am now even though I hate it here, at least I can say I have a career, a house, and a future. I couldn't say that before and I wouldn't expect every sub or slave to feel the same way, or have the same circumstances as I do and did back then. That's what I mean by this whole subject just being completely one sided and egotistical. It's wrong. At this point if my current ended I wouldn't relocate because of my career that doesn't make me a bad submissive it just means that in a sense I've got a brain and refuse to stop using it.

~meticulous~

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 45

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:33:23 PM

angelsub642

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocTSH

I Think it is out of comfort and control. A dominant person needs to be able to establish the environment, and I feel that would be difficult outside of their "Comfort Zone".

But couldn't that also be said for a sub as well? i do have to agree with grlneedstolearn though in the fact that it is hard to find a Dom willing to relocate as i am also looking for a Dom

(in reply to DocTSH)

Post #: 46

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:38:40 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Archer, I understand your point and I respect it. I simply disagree with it. To my mind, selfish is putting one's self before others as a habit. To take care of oneself (ensuring one has enough food, weather-correct clothing, enough water, and finishing the level of school one needs to succeed where their talents lay) is taking care of oneself so that one can take care of others.

It is only my opinion of course.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 47

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:39:06 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear grlneedstolearn, Ladies and Gentlmen;

There can be many reasons why someone may not be willing to relocate. The main reason in my mind's eyes are the security issues. In moving from a secure and safe home, surroundings of friends, families and familiar places--it is hard to get out from a 'rut' or deep seated roots.

As for my situation currently, it is due to 'daughter's duty.' I am duty bound to take care of my surviving parent and relatives who find themself in need. I am also dealing with the parent's affairs. I cannot do so from a distance.

In the past, I have relocated where my slaves were. Most times their job, position and housing was more logical to maintain a safe place to live the lifestyle. Military shifts and houses off base and such--being a 'kept/maintained' woman --was easier then. But, mostly at my current age and circumstances -- I want to keep my roots buried. The area also supports the lifestyle and conventions/activities and or interactions.

This is why I prefer slaves to be local to me, as to keep either of us to give up our roots that are deep. If there is a parting of ways and or company; we are not found impoverished or without the ability to 'go home again.' I do not want to be one sided about safety, family, job and sense of security.

It seems to be a real problem these days, when hasty moves have been a disaster. Left to their own devices to sink new roots and re-establish themselves.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

This is my exact same issue LadyHugs thank you. I didn't want to come right out and say it. I am much younger but my responsabilities in the areas that you mentioned above are far more important to me than 24/7 slavery right now. Of course my Owner had a say in what happened but He aloud just about everything to be my choice because He knew having it be my choice but inserting some of His own imput would make the experience all the more memorable but would still make it my home.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 48

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:40:40 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

"as a habit".

And there we have the difference.

I don't see it as nessisarily habitual.

But now we see where the disagreement sits.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 49

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:42:31 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear KatyLied, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I have seen individuals turn over titles to homes, cars and or other valuables in another's name.

It is a risky thing to do indeed. I advise those considering relocation, to look into putting their home, possessions and such; into a TRUST or some legal state where nobody can touch it without a Trustee and the original owner/beneficiary's certified authority, e.g. Notary and or Gold Medalion. However, they are the ones to make their own decisions.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 50

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:48:19 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Likely the best M/s safety net I have ever seen was a requirement/poicy that a Master had that he bought everything of real value from the slave at collaring and deposited the money into an account that was controled access until such a time as the relationship ended through whatever means, at which time the account reverted to the former slave's control.
Also required was that the slave's paycheck have a set % placed into that account every pay period.

As a practicle matter the best I have seen, not romantic in the least very cold and calculated in fact, but certainly provided a safety net.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 51

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:50:16 PM

angelsub642

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

i've talked to some Doms where there jobs requires them to move frequently, not military either of which i could understand. But that would also mean leaving and giving up everything that you own which i still can not fathom in my mind. Unless of course, like most of you have said, the right circumstance comes along and where both parties are in agreement after hopefully meeting r/t a few times.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 52

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:53:21 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

LOL good lord though you'd think we the online community "invented" the relocation problem.
History is full of people relocating for marriage, if we are to compare a collar to a wedding ring what is the problem with relocating??? LOL

Stirring the pot a little, LOL

(my own personal ethics equate the level of commitment of a collar and a wedding ring but I know not everyone's does)

(in reply to angelsub642)

Post #: 53

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:54:14 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

not romantic in the least very cold and calculated in fact

I think it's okay for people to turn on the "cold and calculated" when they are in discussions regarding their homes, retirement, savings, etc. To do anything else, seems foolish (to me, anyway, but I'm not rich and can't replace anything I would be "giving" to another).

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 54

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 5:57:14 PM

MASTERHAWG

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline

and this is why 90% of the profiles on Collarme are for "Doms Seeking Subs", the "rules of engagement" are practically impossible to achieve.
Not every Male Dom here is a phony, psychotic, rapist or murderer, but every unattached Dominant male is automatically stereotyped until proven otherwise.
Yeah, I'm an asshole. Big Deal.
At least I'm honest and real.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 55

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 6:01:23 PM

BlackWomanSubNJ

Posts: 54
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline

That's why I don't talk to Doms who don't live in my area. The chance of me moving are zero and I would never want someone to move for me. Also, how can you get to the point of being that close if you're far away anyway? Keep it local.

(in reply to GeekyGirl)

Post #: 56

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 6:03:24 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERHAWG

and this is why 90% of the profiles on Collarme are for "Doms Seeking Subs", the "rules of engagement" are practically impossible to achieve.
Not every Male Dom here is a phony, psychotic, rapist or murderer, but every unattached Dominant male is automatically stereotyped until proven otherwise.
Yeah, I'm an asshole. Big Deal.
At least I'm honest and real.

Question: What the hell are you talking about? Nowhere did stereotypes come up. I certainly don't believe that and I haven't heard that.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MASTERHAWG)

Post #: 57

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 6:04:05 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear KatyLied, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I have seen individuals turn over titles to homes, cars and or other valuables in another's name.

It is a risky thing to do indeed. I advise those considering relocation, to look into putting their home, possessions and such; into a TRUST or some legal state where nobody can touch it without a Trustee and the original owner/beneficiary's certified authority, e.g. Notary and or Gold Medalion. However, they are the ones to make their own decisions.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

Great advice Ladyhugs there is nothing wrong with being safe because you never really know.

~meticulous~

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 58

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 6:05:44 PM

angelsub642

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

LOL good lord though you'd think we the online community "invented" the relocation problem.
History is full of people relocating for marriage, if we are to compare a collar to a wedding ring what is the problem with relocating??? LOL

Stirring the pot a little, LOL

Me?? i don't stir any pots LOL. Anyways, for marriage or collaring i can see relocating but not necessarily for play only and possibly something more.

(my own personal ethics equate the level of commitment of a collar and a wedding ring but I know not everyone's does)

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 59

RE: Relocating? - 7/8/2007 6:06:25 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Archer, angelsub642, Ladies and Gentlemen;

As Master Archer stated --relocating has been an issue since early dawn of history.

I am sure it was difficult for those who came from overseas or elsewhere to relocate and or having to go overseas and or elsewhere. It really is difficult.

Moves due to necessity, moves due to love, moves due to family and or moves due to many other assortments of reasons --it really is hard to do, especially when life has added a collection of things, e.g. heirlooms, clothes, possessions, etc. The 'red tape' and or sea of documents, the whole process of moving is a big thing to do. In the military, they provide moving but restrict it with weight and such. So, those days one kept things light, bought used furniture so leaving behind wasn't a big deal. Retired though, boy--one can acquire so much and it sneaks up on you --when you move, that is when you see the 'gotcha' as far as 'stuff' goes.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to angelsub642)

Post #: 60

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