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obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 8:55:27 AM   
sublizzie


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Another thread is discussing opinions and the ways to disagree within a D/s relationship. It brought a slightly different question to my mind.

If you are in a relationship where you disagree with the Dominant, how would you handle it if they were to decide that you were to work a booth for an event touting the glories of their particular viewpoint? (ie, working a booth for the NRA if you're against guns, or stumping for a political candidate they love and you hate, etc)

I'm sure there are some here who would probably do it whole-heartedly. I'm not sure I could though I haven't been in that situation to know one way or the other. How would this work in your particular relationship dynamic?

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 8:57:32 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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No different from the getting an abortion/voting as ordered issues.  Once again, this is where compatibility and understanding what you are agreeing to comes in. 

Basically, you do it.  Or you don't.

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 9:02:28 AM   
SlND3R3LLA


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I don't see a Master I have telling me to do something in that area that is against everything I believe in.  I don't think I could be with someone that would ever do that, to be honest.  It's okay that we don't agree on everything, it's another when he would feel I had to take on his views in order to exist in his home.  I am a slave, but that will never change the way I feel about those "hot button" issues.  I once had a dom tell me that his views would become my views when I became his slave, needless to say we aren't together anymore.  I will always listen and there is a chance I could change my mind, but that is by presenting me facts, then letting me decide what to do with them.

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And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before. ~F

To hell with diamonds, lube is a girls best friend ;)

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 9:04:52 AM   
slaveish


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I would greatly enjoy his amusement and would therefore do an exceedlingly good job at it. I find I am more in touch with my submission when I have to put forth such effort (as in controlling my disdain for the task, doing it anyway, and doing it well, regardless of my personal feelings for it). I would adore his smugness and would give him in return my best effort. A "good girl" in this instance would be especially meaningful.

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If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 9:06:42 AM   
jauntyone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

Another thread is discussing opinions and the ways to disagree within a D/s relationship. It brought a slightly different question to my mind.

If you are in a relationship where you disagree with the Dominant, how would you handle it if they were to decide that you were to work a booth for an event touting the glories of their particular viewpoint? (ie, working a booth for the NRA if you're against guns, or stumping for a political candidate they love and you hate, etc)

I'm sure there are some here who would probably do it whole-heartedly. I'm not sure I could though I haven't been in that situation to know one way or the other. How would this work in your particular relationship dynamic?

Greetings
 
it's an interesting question. Master and I have very radically different political views; views that we have often debated with much enthusiasm. If he was to ask me to be a spokesperson for an opposing view; I could not do it. My views and opinions are too strong to successfully 'lie' in a such a situation. Now, IF, such was asked of me because he felt that my opinion and view of a certain subject was not based on fact ( but rather emotion ), and he asked me for that reason; I would do it just so that I could learn something from the opposing side ( did that make any sense? )
 
I should point out though that both of us are very sure footed when it comes to holding our stance on a certain subject; and that I can not see Master ordering me to do such a thing for any reason. Still though, it was a very interesting question.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 9:07:24 AM   
slaveish


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlND3R3LLA

I don't think I could be with someone that would ever do that, to be honest.  It's okay that we don't agree on everything, it's another when he would feel I had to take on his views in order to exist in his home.  I am a slave, but that will never change the way I feel about those "hot button" issues.  I once had a dom tell me that his views would become my views when I became his slave, needless to say we aren't together anymore. 



Fair enough, but what if he's doing it just because he can, because it amuses him to make you do it, because he knows it is something you feel passionate about? Suppose he only wants to make you ~think~? He doesn't say his views have to be your views - he simply orders you to do it. Do you disobey?

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You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 9:09:17 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


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I would hope a dominant would know his submissive really well to try something like that, because I would question the entire relationship if he found it amusing to order me to tout something that I was passionately and morally against.

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 9:09:43 AM   
daddysprop247


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

I would greatly enjoy his amusement and would therefore do an exceedlingly good job at it. I find I am more in touch with my submission when I have to put forth such effort (as in controlling my disdain for the task, doing it anyway, and doing it well, regardless of my personal feelings for it). I would adore his smugness and would give him in return my best effort. A "good girl" in this instance would be especially meaningful.


this is how i would approach the situation as well. in our union, willful disobedience for ANY reason is never permitted, no exceptions. so i would serve however he wished me to serve, and put all my effort into doing the best job possible. as slaveish mentioned, the very fact that it would be so difficult and contrary to my own feelings or desires would only reinforce my place as his submissive and slave.

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 9:38:27 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone
Greetings

it's an interesting question. Master and I have very radically different political views; views that we have often debated with much enthusiasm. If he was to ask me to be a spokesperson for an opposing view; I could not do it. My views and opinions are too strong to successfully 'lie' in a such a situation. Now, IF, such was asked of me because he felt that my opinion and view of a certain subject was not based on fact ( but rather emotion ), and he asked me for that reason; I would do it just so that I could learn something from the opposing side ( did that make any sense? )

I should point out though that both of us are very sure footed when it comes to holding our stance on a certain subject; and that I can not see Master ordering me to do such a thing for any reason. Still though, it was a very interesting question.

I wish you well

melissa

So is this where I point out that you're choosing to limit yourself to not having this experience?  :)

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 9:57:34 AM   
sublizzie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone
Greetings
 
it's an interesting question. Master and I have very radically different political views; views that we have often debated with much enthusiasm. If he was to ask me to be a spokesperson for an opposing view; I could not do it. My views and opinions are too strong to successfully 'lie' in a such a situation. Now, IF, such was asked of me because he felt that my opinion and view of a certain subject was not based on fact ( but rather emotion ), and he asked me for that reason; I would do it just so that I could learn something from the opposing side ( did that make any sense? )
 
I should point out though that both of us are very sure footed when it comes to holding our stance on a certain subject; and that I can not see Master ordering me to do such a thing for any reason. Still though, it was a very interesting question.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa


What if he had made a commitment to pass out flyers at the mall and at the last minute something happened and he couldn't? If he told you to take his place as a service to him, would you do it?

I'm not trying to be difficult. I'm trying to figure out reactions and the why's for those reactions so I can better figure out my own thinking. (Not sure that made any sense.)

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 10:00:24 AM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

Another thread is discussing opinions and the ways to disagree within a D/s relationship. It brought a slightly different question to my mind.

If you are in a relationship where you disagree with the Dominant, how would you handle it if they were to decide that you were to work a booth for an event touting the glories of their particular viewpoint? (ie, working a booth for the NRA if you're against guns, or stumping for a political candidate they love and you hate, etc)

I'm sure there are some here who would probably do it whole-heartedly. I'm not sure I could though I haven't been in that situation to know one way or the other. How would this work in your particular relationship dynamic?


Valyraen would never be so petty and disrespectful of my views to ask me to do that. However, assuming aliens came and scrambled his brain, it would depend on the issue. If he wanted me to work at a pro-life, anti-women's rights, anti-gun (things I care passionately about) - he would simply own a disobidient Kitten and I would be punished.

There are some things that go beyond my relationship and I can not, in good concious, help the causes I am so passionately against because, if those causes suceed, so many people will be affected. I would view the lie of my support as a shame to me, much as others would unable to dominate when ordered, I simply can not lie and throw my support behind a cause that does not ring true to me.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/9/2007 10:06:11 AM >


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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 10:04:08 AM   
SlND3R3LLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlND3R3LLA

I don't think I could be with someone that would ever do that, to be honest.  It's okay that we don't agree on everything, it's another when he would feel I had to take on his views in order to exist in his home.  I am a slave, but that will never change the way I feel about those "hot button" issues.  I once had a dom tell me that his views would become my views when I became his slave, needless to say we aren't together anymore. 



Fair enough, but what if he's doing it just because he can, because it amuses him to make you do it, because he knows it is something you feel passionate about? Suppose he only wants to make you ~think~? He doesn't say his views have to be your views - he simply orders you to do it. Do you disobey?


I wouldn't disobey, but I would talk to him about it and find out why he feels I should do it.  If it's something that means that much to me, there is no way I could "help" the other side, it's just not in me even for his amusement.  I think it might also depend on what it is.  Let's say he wants me to march for a side that is different than mine for abortion..the answer would be "no way", as much as I love you Master, this is something that is a core belief and I won't compromise.  If it was perhaps getting a petition signed for the widening of a road I don't think needs to be and he does, I would probably do it just for his amusement.

I hope that makes sense.  I am not a hard-ass and I don't disobey, but I know deep down that Master would never ask me to do anything that goes against the core beliefs I have and what causes I am passionate about.  If he did, I don't think we would be together in the first place, so it's sort of a mute point.

~sin, Masters unamusing lil slave



_____________________________

And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before. ~F

To hell with diamonds, lube is a girls best friend ;)

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 10:27:43 AM   
slaveish


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlND3R3LLA

I wouldn't disobey, but I would talk to him about it and find out why he feels I should do it.  If it's something that means that much to me, there is no way I could "help" the other side, it's just not in me even for his amusement.
 

That, to me, ~is~ disobedience. It is your will opposing his.

Forget for a moment that "he would never do that to you." IF this is his request, (if I were a Dom I would choose a hot button and not something you were lukewarm about because then what's the point??) DO you disobey?

Is anyone being harmed? Nope. Is your psyche so fragile as to not be able to handle it? God, I hope not. Does he want you to change your opinion? (Let's assume for this example that the answer is no.) He simply wants you to ~do~ something. Period. That's all. Don't think about it, don't analyze it, just DO it. There is something very freeing in such tasks, believe me. As M says ... "How far are you willing to go for me?"

It is difficult to wrap my head around the idea that if a sub or slave would refuse to do a task that is neither physically harmful nor emotionally damaging on the basis that she doesn't "agree" with it.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 10:33:57 AM   
Deboyce


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Sublizzie:
I of course do not mean to be confrontational but I do not see where the question has validity. You either agreed to defer to your master and support his thinking or you did not. If you did, then the only course of action open to you is to recognize in supporting the positions your master has taken and the demands he makes upon you, you are conducting yourself in a right and righteous manner .

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 10:37:01 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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I would also say that I think it would be unethical to tell the slave to say something such as "I feel X" about a group or their motivations when it is a lie.  I don't know any organization which would want people who didn't ACTUALLY support their group to go out and try.

Tell them to organize the booth, help the people working there, hand out fliers to others, sure.  But to actually knowingly state falsehoods to people in that context is generally unethical to me.

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 10:40:50 AM   
SimplyMichael


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As often happens, LA beats me to the punch...I agree, there is a vast difference between staffing a booth, helping out and being forced to change your opinion.

I wasn't vegan but my ex was and I ate vegetarian when I was eating with her out of respect for her stance. 

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 10:46:10 AM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlND3R3LLA

I wouldn't disobey, but I would talk to him about it and find out why he feels I should do it.  If it's something that means that much to me, there is no way I could "help" the other side, it's just not in me even for his amusement.
 

That, to me, ~is~ disobedience. It is your will opposing his.

Forget for a moment that "he would never do that to you." IF this is his request, (if I were a Dom I would choose a hot button and not something you were lukewarm about because then what's the point??) DO you disobey?

Is anyone being harmed? Nope. Is your psyche so fragile as to not be able to handle it? God, I hope not. Does he want you to change your opinion? (Let's assume for this example that the answer is no.) He simply wants you to ~do~ something. Period. That's all. Don't think about it, don't analyze it, just DO it. There is something very freeing in such tasks, believe me. As M says ... "How far are you willing to go for me?"

It is difficult to wrap my head around the idea that if a sub or slave would refuse to do a task that is neither physically harmful nor emotionally damaging on the basis that she doesn't "agree" with it.


Slaveish someone is being harmed in my opinion.

Not to get into the issue itself: I am forced to work with a pro-life organization, if I make a difference and help the group, thousands of young women who no longer have access to safe abortion will be harmed. No man on this planet is worth that stain on my hands to me, as a pro-life sub would not find the stain of working with pro-choice acceptable.

If I were made to work with PETA out of punishment, the group that wants to take away my pets and endorses arson will be one step closer to their goal. I would be disgusted with myself and Valyraen.

There are times when a person of morals and ethics can not obey. I can not obey an order to injure someone and I can not obey the order to further the cause of a group that I would spend my life working against.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/9/2007 10:52:52 AM >


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 10:50:06 AM   
SlND3R3LLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlND3R3LLA

I wouldn't disobey, but I would talk to him about it and find out why he feels I should do it.  If it's something that means that much to me, there is no way I could "help" the other side, it's just not in me even for his amusement.
 

That, to me, ~is~ disobedience. It is your will opposing his.

Forget for a moment that "he would never do that to you." IF this is his request, (if I were a Dom I would choose a hot button and not something you were lukewarm about because then what's the point??) DO you disobey?

Is anyone being harmed? Nope.How do you know that no one will be harmed?  For exp.  Lets say that I am against abortion but my Master wants me to work for a pro-choice group.  I am there that day and handing out something, or talking to someone about my side of it (or his).  Maybe it was the one time that, that person needed to have the encouragment to go through with it.  If I hadn't been there that day, she might not have done it.  I have now done harm to another, only because for the amusment of my Master.  That is bringing others into our dynamic without their permission or knowledge, and that is wrong.  That is an extreme case, but one that could happen none the less.

Is your psyche so fragile as to not be able to handle it? God, I hope not. I am not fragile in the least, but there are some things in this life I will not be party to, and no one should try to make me otherwise.  It can be something that is dear to me morally, or mentally, that doesn't matter.  It might be something that doesn't mean anything to you, but does that make it any less meaningful to me?  Should it?  Could I live with myself if I encouraged an act I don't believe in, in the first place?  I think it could do damage because it's something that is so deep within myself and my definition of right and wrong.  That is not being fragile, that is being human.

Does he want you to change your opinion? (Let's assume for this example that the answer is no.) He simply wants you to ~do~ something. Period. That's all. Don't think about it, don't analyze it, just DO it. There is something very freeing in such tasks, believe me. As M says ... "How far are you willing to go for me?"

It is difficult to wrap my head around the idea that if a sub or slave would refuse to do a task that is neither physically harmful nor emotionally damaging on the basis that she doesn't "agree" with it. Just because it is difficult for you, doesn't mean it is for anyone else.  We all have different dymanics and we all have limits on how far we would go for another.  My Master knows that I will always do anything for him he asks, but he also knows my heart and how I feel about things.  It is a mute point, and I wouldn't be with anyone that expected me to do those types of things in the first place.  I am always encouraged to keep my values and my opinions, so having me go against those things in a public way would be against the whole M/s relationship as it exists.  That would be just stupid.
 
~sin, Masters obediant (no matter what anyone else thinks) slave



_____________________________

And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before. ~F

To hell with diamonds, lube is a girls best friend ;)

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 10:53:28 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish
That, to me, ~is~ disobedience. It is your will opposing his.

Forget for a moment that "he would never do that to you." IF this is his request, (if I were a Dom I would choose a hot button and not something you were lukewarm about because then what's the point??) DO you disobey?

Is anyone being harmed? Nope. Is your psyche so fragile as to not be able to handle it? God, I hope not. Does he want you to change your opinion? (Let's assume for this example that the answer is no.) He simply wants you to ~do~ something. Period. That's all. Don't think about it, don't analyze it, just DO it. There is something very freeing in such tasks, believe me. As M says ... "How far are you willing to go for me?"

It is difficult to wrap my head around the idea that if a sub or slave would refuse to do a task that is neither physically harmful nor emotionally damaging on the basis that she doesn't "agree" with it.


I understand what you are saying slaveish, but you are placing the parameters no one is harmed/damaged either emotionally or physically on the scenario that may not exist were this to be a real life situation.

There are few issues that I am personally passionate about, but I am passionate about them for a reason.  To require me to put my feelings aside about those issues and tout the opposing viewpoint, just as a form of amusement for my dominant is not something I would or could do.  And yes, I do believe in my case it would damage me emotionally to be required to do it, for a variety of reasons. 

We're all wired differently, and what wouldn't even make one person blink, could bring another to a very bad place.  That's why I prefaced my earlier response with the statement that a dominant should know his submissive really well before pushing some buttons.

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RE: obedience regardless??? - 7/9/2007 10:56:00 AM   
cjenny


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveish

[Is anyone being harmed? Nope. Is your psyche so fragile as to not be able to handle it? God, I hope not. Does he want you to change your opinion? (Let's assume for this example that the answer is no.) He simply wants you to ~do~ something. Period. That's all. Don't think about it, don't analyze it, just DO it. There is something very freeing in such tasks, believe me. As M says ... "How far are you willing to go for me?"

It is difficult to wrap my head around the idea that if a sub or slave would refuse to do a task that is neither physically harmful nor emotionally damaging on the basis that she doesn't "agree" with it.


IMO it can be damaging to actively support something against your core values. I do not think that I could actually support in word or deed our current president. If I had to campaign for him, that would mean I am promoting someone/something that I'm vehemently against. I think that actively supporting the reduction of womens rights would be damaging to not just me but society. Campaigning to destroy the few rights that gays have achieved would be terribly damaging.
If it were not an active support I could do it (although I am having trouble coming up with a possible scenario for that lol).

He could choose something that I am ambivalent about and it would be an automatic task. If it were a politician that I had neutral feelings about that too would be done. It would also give me the chance to research something new, learn about someones political agenda that I wouldn't otherwise have paid much attention to. Actually that'd be pretty neat

The scene presented, that of supporting a diametrically opposed political faction has effects far beyond just our relationship. That is the crux of MY problem with it. Like several others here, it is also something he simply wouldn't ask of me because by & large we see things in a similiar light. He wouldn't want me to do something that would make me feel like I'm damaging something good, or encouraging something bad.

_____________________________

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~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

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