Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

† Micro managing †


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> † Micro managing † Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
† Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:04:29 PM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		Ok I have another interesting topic that I have to question here . What are your beliefs on micro managing ?? Is this good in small doeses or more harmful than good ? Do subs / slaves want or even need that kind of control ? It is alot of work for a Dom. I dont feel as though it is needed in Most cases that I have been  involved . But I seem to think it has its place. Is this a common mistake for new Doms to make ? I know when I was new at the life I tried to micro manage way to hard and it caused more problems than it did good .Whats the take on it ?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:08:20 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Even (or especially) silly things, like the way someone wants their towels folded, has to be covered (at least) once.

I can micromanage if I want to, but it IS a lot of work, and the effects aren't always desirable.  If things can be managed without, so much the better.

The one thing that I always said that I wouldn't bother micromanaging was the breathing process.  Too repetitive.  Besides, I'm not the sort of person that has ADD or somesuch, but there's only so much 'OK you can breathe out now' that one person can take.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:10:56 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		I happen to like it. The structure, the accountability that comes with being micro managed. It is not a strong part, most areas of my life are untouched by it but the areas he keeps the spotlight on are ones that I need him to do so.

Often I ask him if it is too much of a burden, too much hassle. His reply is always, that he loves me & this is just the way it is going to be for us  .

He doesn't demand certain clothing be worn or anything like that ( I consider that micro managing). He makes sure I do key things daily.

I've learned that I'm a lot more comfortable & accepting of micro management than most here. If you do a search on the topic there were some pretty good threads on it not too long ago.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:15:03 PM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks cjenny..I do find that alot are very opposed to it on here!!

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:16:24 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Personally, I think micromanagement is the scourge of the earth.  And while it makes for a great many fantasies, in application it is overwhelmingly (though not universally) a short lived and not fondly recalled experiment.
 
John
 
P.S. - I do not believe that having the authority to choose clothing or meals is micromanagement.  That is the use of authority in a particular issue which does not require constant administration.

< Message edited by Rover -- 7/9/2007 5:17:20 PM >

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:17:42 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HardnRuff

Ok I have another interesting topic that I have to question here . What are your beliefs on micro managing ?? Is this good in small doeses or more harmful than good ? Do subs / slaves want or even need that kind of control ? It is alot of work for a Dom. I dont feel as though it is needed in Most cases that I have been  involved . But I seem to think it has its place. Is this a common mistake for new Doms to make ? I know when I was new at the life I tried to micro manage way to hard and it caused more problems than it did good .Whats the take on it ?


This is one s-type that really does not want to be mircomanaged. I would not submit to someone who wanted to mircomanage. I know for a fact that Valyraen had no desire to mircomanage me either. It's just a waste of his time when I can manage things on my own.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:18:31 PM   
salilus


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		Daddy enjoys it.

I enjoy it.

Not everyone likes it.
Some people need it.
Not everyone needs/likes it all the time...

etc.

(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:22:27 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		I think part of the problem is the term itself. There is no solidly accepted definition.. like all the lables we all use here they are only ones own definition.

Breathing? Why would that even be used as an example honestly? It seems to be looked at from that extreme angle by a lot of people. Why isn't making your s go without underwear considered micro management? Some masters or doms order food for their s's but that is considered natural and okie dokie but for me that not be something I'd be happy about on a every day basis.

Maybe if a common denominator on the term be reached then it wouldn't be something that provokes such disdain and hostility.

Scourge of the earth? Egads. People that thrive with any degree of micro management are dysfunctional?

Serious intolerance here .

Edited cuz I kept having more to say lol.

< Message edited by cjenny -- 7/9/2007 5:27:47 PM >

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:22:49 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		don't need it ...don't want it ...and i have no use for it - i function quite well without having someone over me constantly making sure i get my assignments (concert reviews) done.  besides Daddy doesn't have time to check after me every day, hour, or minute since He manages a busy psychiatry practice, staff and office.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:24:59 PM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		So it is a choice of personal preference then I am assuming ? I dont have the time nor the desire to do it . I dont need you to ask My permission in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom nor do I need to know how many pieces of Tp you wiped with .I do see it having a place though with some who need it in a very helpfull not harmfull way .

(in reply to salilus)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:25:52 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Micromanagement would drive me insane.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:35:10 PM   
viperess


Posts: 290
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings,

It is like many things..some love it and need it and others want nothing to do with it. The main time i have seen it used is with very new slaves, ones who need that tough structure to help guide them as they enter a new way of life. For me, if that was what Master wanted then i would do it but personally i have no use for it.
Respectfully

_____________________________

viperess slave of BlackTarnHeart
heart and chain sister to velvetvixen68

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:37:24 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HardnRuff

.Whats the take on it ?


Some want it... Some don't

Some need it.... Some don't

Some love it... Some don't

Some hate it... Some don't

Some do it.... Some don't

It really depends on the individual



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:40:59 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		I don't want to ask if i can take my meds or ask if i can pee. Just me. I do not want to be micro managed. Guided, loved, cherished, spanked yes..

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 5:48:35 PM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		Ok .. I have heard the bad views now lets hear some ways that you can see it being beneficial??

_____________________________

" Weapon Of Ass Destruction" † Bitch tested slut approved †

(in reply to winterlight)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 6:26:42 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Personally I don't think anything about it is beneficial....it is extra work for me and my slave's job it to make my life easier.  If I have to have an outline of every moment of every day what is really being accomplished besides showing I'm a total control freak? 

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 6:33:23 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Micromanagement can be overwhelming for the dom/me, and a lot of work. I have a slave who would like to be completely  micromanaged, but wants me to think it all out ahead of time and have elaborate scripts for him to follow when I can't be there for our nightly phone call that exhausts me. In return, he gets it some of the time but when I'm busy/sick/etc he doesn't get it.

However, in small doses - I.E. planning for a high protocol weekend or other things - micromanagement can make me feel a power exchange very intimately. Having to ask everytime you go pee makes you ~much~ more aware of the process, and can make you feel humiliated and controlled, or empowered (depending on your role). As a top, if someone asks me everytime they pee, I giggle sadistically in my head everytime I'm asked. That muah ha ha ha kind of laugh that just envisions them sitting at the door doing a peepee dance because I asked for privacy, debating on knocking or pissing themselves. As a bottom, asking to go pee makes me feel very humbled and owned.

As a person, permission to pee everytime I have to pee gets grating after too long, so it has to be a limited time frame.

I find most forms of micromanagement to be this way. In certain doses, they enhance the power exchange, but for too long and they became a drain, grating on the nerves and wearing on the relationship.


cjenny
My definition of micromanagement is that the sub isn't allowed any form of choice in the subject being micromanaged. I find being told to go with out panties daily to be a rule, but having to call him every day and ask "what pair of panties do I wear today?" to be micromanagement. Same goes for what I eat, how I spend my money, all the other clothes I wear. General guidelines feel like control, but having to call and ask each time "may I spend $.35 for a soda? May I spend 4.00 at the gas station for donuts? May I put gas in my tank?" is micromanagement.
~E

_____________________________

'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 6:35:47 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I guess it would depend on what the Dominant wants,,and then his defiinition of micro-management..thus the submissive agrees to it or not..gets into relationship or not..needs it or not..thats where careful choices need to be made..Personally, I would find it a bit restrictive depending on its connotation.and I have no idea as to why a Dominant type would wish to ,day by day do such..I would imagine that would take a whole lot of effort, and would he be then ,able to be consistent. If not, then waste of time, effort,and highly confusing to submissive type who wished for it....be careful what you wish for..you may get it...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 6:42:10 PM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		Interesting question, because what may feel like micro-management to the slave may seem like much less to the Dominant.  I personally don't like being micro-managed anymore than the next person, but if Mistress feels inclined to for whatever reason, I just go with it.  If She's doing it, She has a reason, either because She isn't sure of my level of expertise on the matter, making sure it is done the exact way She would like, or it may be the first time I may be doing a particular task.  If She stood over me watching me fold laundry, for instance, that would seem a bit unecessary in my opinion, but would I have any reason to complain for lack of guidance if She wasn't watching me put together the violet wand for the first time, and I happened to break it?  So I just put it in this perspective, if She feels it's necessary, I have learned to not be so self concious about it now.  She has never micro-managed to jump out and say "aha!  I knew I'd catch you in a fuck up!"  Mistress only wants to know I'm doing things safe, properly, and most of all how She wants.


_____________________________



(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: † Micro managing † - 7/9/2007 6:49:00 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all

Interesting question, because what may feel like micro-management to the slave may seem like much less to the Dominant.  I personally don't like being micro-managed anymore than the next person, but if Mistress feels inclined to for whatever reason, I just go with it.  If She's doing it, She has a reason, either because She isn't sure of my level of expertise on the matter, making sure it is done the exact way She would like, or it may be the first time I may be doing a particular task.  If She stood over me watching me fold laundry, for instance, that would seem a bit unecessary in my opinion, but would I have any reason to complain for lack of guidance if She wasn't watching me put together the violet wand for the first time, and I happened to break it?  So I just put it in this perspective, if She feels it's necessary, I have learned to not be so self concious about it now.  She has never micro-managed to jump out and say "aha!  I knew I'd catch you in a fuck up!"  Mistress only wants to know I'm doing things safe, properly, and most of all how She wants.



See and I hate micro managing...so I don't think I do it at all...I suppose everything is relative!

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to ready4srvce4all)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> † Micro managing † Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094