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Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 1:18:54 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

This question has been bouncing around in my mind for some time but I have hesitated to post it because I do NOT want it to be offensive to anyone. I hope it will be taken in the spirit with which it is asked. So....let me set it up:

I have been open here in the forums about how Master and I do not engage in any form of public play. It does not interest us in anyway. I know there are others who feel the same way and I also know there are many who adore public play. I think that's wonderful if that's what makes you happy. Go for it!

So, I was thinking that if Master and I had to do what we do only in public and not privately that, as much as we love it, we would choose to stop rather than be on display. This made me think of the other side of the coin. For all you folks who love public play and/or dressing up in fetish clothing, exhibitionism, etc......if you could only do it in private and never again in public, how would you feel about that? Would it affect how exciting it is for you? Would you still be willing to engage in everything you do publicly (and enjoy it every bit as much) if only you and your partner where present in a private setting?

I'm very curious about this because I know there are many who are exhibitionists and who love doing what they do for others to see. Now, in saying this, I do not mean that everyone who enjoys public play only does it so others can see. I just know, that for many, that is a very integral part of it - being watched. On a thread I've been reading lately, someone even stated that she couldn't take the same level of pain in private that she can in public and was wondering if this was tied to her desire to be an exhibitionist.

So....for all of you who relish public play....what are your thoughts on this? Thanks for sharing..............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

Post #: 1

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 1:32:01 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

How private? I play with other people, so would I no longer be able to play with my friends? Even if that meant there's more than 2 of us in the room?

I wouldn't be happy no longer having the choice, freedom, option, and experience of public play. But I'd survive and still be fulfilled in my relationships.

I enjoy public and private play for different reasons- same as I like going to the movie theater and watching movies at home. I'd prefer to have the choice to do whichever I want whenever I feel like it for whatever purpose I may have at that time. But if I HAD to make a private movie screening room for myself, I guess I could suffer through that.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 2

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 1:37:01 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I'd be happier with only private play than I would with only public play. I used to play in public a LOT...almost exclusively. Now, I don't as much. This past year, I've probably played less than a dozen times in a public dungeon.

Of course, I'm assuming private is with the partners of my choice. If I choose to play with one and have others there, that's still private to me. Public = social or public dungeon. Private = my home OR by invitation only.

Master Fire

_____________________________

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(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 3

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 1:39:55 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
How private? I play with other people, so would I no longer be able to play with my friends? Even if that meant there's more than 2 of us in the room?

Well, I guess my intention with the question was that it just be you and your significant other(s). So, if you're in a committed poly relationship, it would include you and the others.

quote:

I wouldn't be happy no longer having the choice, freedom, option, and experience of public play. But I'd survive and still be fulfilled in my relationships.

Ok. You'd still be "fulfilled." That's part of what I was asking.

quote:

I enjoy public and private play for different reasons- same as I like going to the movie theater and watching movies at home. I'd prefer to have the choice to do whichever I want whenever I feel like it for whatever purpose I may have at that time. But if I HAD to make a private movie screening room for myself, I guess I could suffer through that.

Good analogy - makes lots of sense. I guess my motivation in asking the broad question is to try to "get inside the minds," so to speak, of those who really enjoy public play. I understand intellectually why they would even though it's not our cup of tea. I guess I'm just wondering if whatever elements about WIITWD that are so fulfilling for folks would still be just as powerful totally in private as they are for them in a public setting. Thanks for your answer.............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 1:41:37 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Different experiences for different purposes for the most part for me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 5

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 1:44:08 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I'd be happier with only private play than I would with only public play. I used to play in public a LOT...almost exclusively. Now, I don't as much. This past year, I've probably played less than a dozen times in a public dungeon.

May I ask why? I'm really curious about the "draw" people feel to use public dungeons and play areas. It's not something I've ever done or wanted to do but maybe I'm just not as informed as I should be about how play is really conducted in such public settings. I may find that I would enjoy it after all

- but I really doubt it.

quote:

Of course, I'm assuming private is with the partners of my choice. If I choose to play with one and have others there, that's still private to me. Public = social or public dungeon. Private = my home OR by invitation only

That definition works fine for me

. Thanks for your response..........luci

Master Fire

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 6

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 1:48:50 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

But if I HAD to make a private movie screening room for myself, I guess I could suffer through that.

lol ...

Like Lucky, I get different things from both ... I will go as far as I would in private in public situations... what the venue allows for .. ... love feeding off the environment of fetish and dominance and submission, of being around likeminded souls.. willing participants in a decadent dance... I love the freedom of it all ... it's like going to watch a play, only to find the cast has deserted and you and your fellow ticket holders are assigned starring roles ... I like that public play gives me and the subs I play with the opportunity to push boundaries, play out different fetish scenarios, s&m wants/needs, etc we both have...

Would I miss it? Yes .. but my imagination would keep it alive behind closed doors ..

< Message edited by Jasmyn -- 7/16/2007 1:51:37 PM >

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 7

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 1:49:55 PM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

Public play gives me a rush for diffrent reasons, but the main reason I started was because it made my Dom at the time very happy. I probably would have never even thought of it otherwise.

Since there are many other ways to get rushes, I would be perfectly happy just staying at home doing the same thing. In fact, in certain scenes i would do better, because i am in the comfort of my home knowing that i wasn't being judged on how i performed.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 8

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 1:58:56 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

I can't speak for everyone (nor should I), but I would say there are those that play in public because they really don't have anywhere to go, short of getting a hotel room.

I've done public play, but more often than not it was in someone's home (or my own, hosting parties). I'm not keen on the pay-to-play deal, when I'm perfectly content constructing my own playspace.

I haven't played in public in years and might never again. I don't 'need' the attention that way, although it's fun for what it is. I'm quite certain that dressing up to stay in is very much on the menu in the future with my partner and I.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 9

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 2:01:29 PM

bschwimmer

Posts: 630
Joined: 6/30/2005
Status: offline

i am a slut and will play any where

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 10

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 2:05:34 PM

MasterMataeo

Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

one word comes to mind,, proabition,, and what happend ,, it went underground, wehre people have a want and a need to be met it will,,
now as for me ,, I'd Enjoy it regaurdless

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 11

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 2:07:15 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

This question has been bouncing around in my mind for some time but I have hesitated to post it because I do NOT want it to be offensive to anyone. I hope it will be taken in the spirit with which it is asked. So....let me set it up:

I have been open here in the forums about how Master and I do not engage in any form of public play. It does not interest us in anyway. I know there are others who feel the same way and I also know there are many who adore public play. I think that's wonderful if that's what makes you happy. Go for it!

So, I was thinking that if Master and I had to do what we do only in public and not privately that, as much as we love it, we would choose to stop rather than be on display. This made me think of the other side of the coin. For all you folks who love public play and/or dressing up in fetish clothing, exhibitionism, etc......if you could only do it in private and never again in public, how would you feel about that? Would it affect how exciting it is for you? Would you still be willing to engage in everything you do publicly (and enjoy it every bit as much) if only you and your partner where present in a private setting?

I'm very curious about this because I know there are many who are exhibitionists and who love doing what they do for others to see. Now, in saying this, I do not mean that everyone who enjoys public play only does it so others can see. I just know, that for many, that is a very integral part of it - being watched. On a thread I've been reading lately, someone even stated that she couldn't take the same level of pain in private that she can in public and was wondering if this was tied to her desire to be an exhibitionist.

So....for all of you who relish public play....what are your thoughts on this? Thanks for sharing..............luci

It's a good question, and I want to say first off that I don't find it offensive at all. It's obviously just something you are curious about hearing from different perspective.

Personally, I love public play, and some of that does go back to the fact that I am an exhibitionist. There are different nuances to it that can't be reproduced privately. There is an added excitement to having any scene watched. In fact, times that I haven't been able to play publicly, I've settled for second best (cam) and made private play broadcast.

Having said that, I can say that I have also had experiences with public play that My connection with My submissive was so strong that I have completely forgotten that other people were in the room. I've completely forgotten about the observation by others and only come back to the realization that they were there after the scene was over. These experiences are great because you get the best of both worlds.

To answer your question directly, however, no, I would not give up playing if I could no longer do it publicly. The play itself is more important to Me than the enviornment in which it occurs. There would be a sliver of disappointment that certain things would be lost.... The exhibitionism, the freedom, the connection made with the observers, but more important to Me would be the fact that I wouldn't be giving up everything.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 12

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 2:17:21 PM

theMadWelder

Posts: 52
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

What draws people to a public setting? Many diffrent aspects, supporting the local business, being able to use facilities that you dont have at a house party, the list goes on and on.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 13

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 2:39:27 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

For all you folks who love public play and/or dressing up in fetish clothing, exhibitionism, etc......if you could only do it in private and never again in public, how would you feel about that?

No differently. Public "play" is only public for the observer. Between us, there is no difference in how we interact, what we do, or the intensity; whether playing in our home or anywhere else, with or sans observers. Once knowing whatever the ground rules are for the event or facility we follow the rules and enjoy ourselves.

There may be a difference in our manner of dress. Home its pretty much naked or a towel wrap; on chilly nights - a robe. beth's loves her costumes and shoe wardrobe and attending events and public play places lends itself more to that visual aspect; but she also "dresses up" at home too.

Having a little 'dungeon' in our home and more 'toys' that could ever be used at one time, the primary reason for going out is social. We both enjoy that aspect. We are both very social. Sometimes we'll just go and not play but just socialize; especially is play space is limited.

Public play, whether at a private party or public play space, has a different dynamic from the perspective that you have a lot going on around you. You can be sitting around a fire chatting and observe a tightly bound, red-assed submissive, hobble by on the end of a leash. Or grab a drink, pull up a pillow and watch a very talented display of flogging, or single tail, or mummification, or something that you've never seen before.

To us it is erotic. For us, WIITWD is sexual in nature. But we understand and appreciate that our perspective isn't the same as everyone else. It may not be that for the two people we are watching, but there are some occasions where the raw sexuality of the scene is unmistakable. It sure beats watching any scripted movie or TV show. It isn't necessary for us that it happens, but it does and we enjoy it. Were it not available we'd miss it, but not to the detriment of our relationship.

What we would miss would be the people.

quote:

Would it affect how exciting it is for you?

No.

quote:

Would you still be willing to engage in everything you do publicly (and enjoy it every bit as much) if only you and your partner where present in a private setting?

We do.

The one thing a private setting has over most, if not all, public settings, is that clean up can occur after you wake up. I'm getting to an age where there is nothing like a good nap after a few intense hours in a dungeon. When we play at home I don't have to be concerned about joining beth and napping, as she would, while I drove home at 2:00 AM after a night at Lair.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 7/16/2007 2:47:21 PM >

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 14

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 2:40:52 PM

Alumbrado

Posts: 5560
Status: offline

quote:

May I ask why? I'm really curious about the "draw" people feel to use public dungeons and play areas.

Do you have a 20 foot rig, a working medieval rack, a spinning cross, a 500 watt sound system, professional lighting, a vacuum bed, electric chair, waxing table, power hoists, 30 feet of headroom, and so forth in your private play space?

If so, then you probably don't need to attend a public facility.

If not, then why are you expecting other people to justify such an obvious choice?

(in reply to theMadWelder)

Post #: 15

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 2:45:04 PM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

Honestly, at this point in my life events and public play serve as a "night out" kind of thing. I'm sure even more so for people with UM's. It's not that I even care that much who's watching, it's that being outside the normal environment in a place and time set aside for play is grand.

But if I had to pick, I'd choose to play in private.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 16

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 3:03:33 PM

daddyscherry

Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2007
From: Daddy's Tower, CA
Status: offline

i think if we only could do private that would be okay in some areas and not as much in others.

Meaning, my Daddy loves to play publicly because he feeds off of the energy of the audience, i can understand that completely, as i'm sure that has a positive effect on me as well.

So actually doing drawn out scenes might stop if we were to only be able to do things in private but that would be the biggest thing to change (unless that took out the possiblity of other people to play with privately and sexually-that would be an issue)

At home we don't do a ton of scening per se, things happen when they happen but the lack of scening doesn't change the rest of our relationship being M/s

For that reason it wouldn't be a huge issue to not be able to play out in public for us.

_____________________________

~cherry
a.k.a. charismagirrl

For today i won't say but...
For today i won't say just....
For today i will simply obey...
For always i will be your imperfect slave.

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

Post #: 17

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 3:04:10 PM

HCWT1

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

First it would depend with whom im about to dance with and thire views on weather or not they would feel right ect.
As for myself,i like to share the moment,with one is great,even better if that one is the special one (owner/lover ect) but to play at in the public arena (clubs,parties ect) is a total tune on.
Some may see that as exhibitionism,but for me it forfills a gap thats not meet in other areas of my life.
If i couldn't realize this part within the overall,that combines to forfill my/ower needs i would be torn up about it,but it's not the end.I would find other ways to compensate.

< Message edited by HCWT1 -- 7/16/2007 3:16:43 PM >

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 18

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 3:50:53 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I love it all and would miss any of it. There is something about sitting on a couch talking about politics and hearing some woman groaning/screaming from having her cunt tortured. In private I can do things I don't share, either because they are too intimate or a bit too taboo.

I love playing the hard core dominant with the slaviest of slaves but it is much more of a turn on in public. At the same time if I am going to fuck someones ass and have them clean off my cock that isn't really appropriate for a public space because of the health issues for others although in the right place and time it would be hot.

I could go on but I love it all, hell I love having sex on the steps of a church in front of god and everyone too.

(in reply to HCWT1)

Post #: 19

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 4:02:34 PM

Mystique567

Posts: 273
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

I am an exhibitionist, I really think I would miss public play.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 20

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