Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Agressive Dom


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Agressive Dom Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 8:11:50 PM   
angelsub642


Posts: 57
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Hello to all,
  i met a Dom the other day and he was really aggressive as far as trying to get me to cooporate with him in a playing and sexual sense. i kept telling him no and pushing his hands away, no he did not oblige so i kicked him out. We met for coffee and back to my place, and yes i know this was a huge mistake on my part; even though he said over the phone that he will stop if i tell him to, well that went out the window.  i know i should be more cautious, and this was actually the first Dom i've met since my Dom.So here's my question: Are some Doms like this only here for trolling and luring female submissives in a aggressive manner just to get laid? Or are there true Doms out there that will actually stop when being told to? And is there a way to tell for sure either online, in person, or on the phone that the other person will stop if being told?
 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 8:16:00 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		There is never a garantee that someone will stop when told to, no matter their assurances. Yes, having him over right after meeting was your fault. He should still have respected your wishes, but in our world and in the vanilla one we know that isnt always going to be the case.
And I hate to break it to you, but the aggressive sexual behavior isnt limited to Doms, nor is it limited to males. There is no way to tell how someone wil act, which is why you have to get to know them before putting yourself in a situation where they can do something stupid. If they really want to get laid, they will know just what to say to get you alone right away. However for the most part those in it for a "quick" score arent going ot take the time to get to know you and spend more than a time or two with you before there is even a chance at intimacy.

My 2 cents
DV



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to angelsub642)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 8:18:01 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		i am sorry that you had to deal with such a booger... You were very lucky that nothing more happened...  A safety called should have been arranged with a friend before even going to meet this guy....

There all kinds out there

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to angelsub642)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 8:18:50 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		What DV said!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 8:21:59 PM   
angelsub642


Posts: 57
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you to both, we did talk online for a few weeks and both felt comfortable but why i was soo naive i don't know.  And yes i did im him that same night, after he left, and told him off. Told him that it wasn't right when i told him no several times and to not contact me. He hasn't yet. From now on i will take both of your advice, talk to someone for probably at least a month now before meeting, and to continue meeting in a public place and to never go back to my place or his. So ty again to both for your input.

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 8:22:58 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelsub642

Hello to all,
i met a Dom the other day and he was really aggressive as far as trying to get me to cooporate with him in a playing and sexual sense. i kept telling him no and pushing his hands away, no he did not oblige so i kicked him out. We met for coffee and back to my place, and yes i know this was a huge mistake on my part; even though he said over the phone that he will stop if i tell him to, well that went out the window.  i know i should be more cautious, and this was actually the first Dom i've met since my Dom.So here's my question: Are some Doms like this only here for trolling and luring female submissives in a aggressive manner just to get laid? Or are there true Doms out there that will actually stop when being told to? And is there a way to tell for sure either online, in person, or on the phone that the other person will stop if being told?

Some Dominants are trolling..some are not..how to tell difference? You cannot..but you can proceed more cautiously..It is no different than any other meet in this world..Dominants are men and they are human they are good and they are bad some have a clue some do not..Bringing first meet to home in any context not a good idea..unless you wish for what you received...he saw it as an invitation to become an aggressor.He did not stop his pushing and you kicked him out..be glad that he was cooperative in being kicked out...getting to know someone takes a bit of time....so take, YOUR time...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to angelsub642)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 8:23:37 PM   
onlineheartbeats


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think there is any real way to tell , other than gut instinct. However,and I'm not being judgemental, maybe in the future you should meet a few times--coffee,dinner, coffee--before inviting him to your home. Yes I know, easier to say in hindsight..
Thank goodness you are okay and he left when you kiced him out.

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 8:34:37 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelsub642
Are some Doms like this only here for trolling and luring female submissives in a aggressive manner just to get laid?

No, ya think?  I would suggest to you very sincerely that you use a bit more caution.  You meet someone for coffee (and I'm assuming here you mean meet for the first time) and invite him right back to your apartment.  I can't imagine that he would then try anything (insert eye roll here).  For every so-called dom who trolls around here luring females as you say, there's at least one female who gets suckered in.  Why do you think they keep doing these things if they never work.  Wise up, look out for yourself, and don't trust so easily.  At least he did stop.  There are those who would not have and you could have wound up in very serious danger.  Stop it!...............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to angelsub642)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 8:40:24 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		tempting said it perfectly.
angel i'm glad that you came out of it ok, it could have been a lot worse. 

dea

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 8:59:43 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Umm like did you have a safeword?

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelsub642

i met a Dom the other day and he was really aggressive as far as trying to get me to cooporate with him in a playing and sexual sense. i kept telling him no and pushing his hands away, no he did not oblige so i kicked him out. We met for coffee and back to my place, and yes i know this was a huge mistake on my part; even though he said over the phone that he will stop if i tell him to, well that went out the window.  i know i should be more cautious, and this was actually the first Dom i've met since my Dom.So here's my question: Are some Doms like this only here for trolling and luring female submissives in a aggressive manner just to get laid? Or are there true Doms out there that will actually stop when being told to? And is there a way to tell for sure either online, in person, or on the phone that the other person will stop if being told?

(in reply to angelsub642)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 9:04:06 PM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		this is why safe calls are important . a Trus Dom always stops when asked to as thats when it becose abuse if it becomes non consentual .

_____________________________

" Weapon Of Ass Destruction" † Bitch tested slut approved †

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 9:05:55 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Time is not a factor.  I can't tell you how many times I've been met the same day as the first contact.

You need to get a better grip (apparently) on whom you're speaking with.  Judging them for who they are, not what they say.

Without looking up your profile, I'm guessing you've only had the one prior D/s relationship.  I don't know how picky you were then, or how much so you have before meeting this person.  You can imagine for every genuine, responsible person you might find here there are dozens of 'others'.

But there are some good ones.  Make sure the next one is worthy of you.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to angelsub642)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 9:05:58 PM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		People will always take it as an invitation if you invite them home. Not one time has that not been proved out. So the answer is: don't invite anyone over unless you are prepared for them to come on to you. It is simple really, public place meetings till you feel comfortable.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 9:06:40 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Just out of curiosity...how would a safecall had helped if he decided to not stop?

(in reply to HardnRuff)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 9:12:07 PM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Just out of curiosity...how would a safecall had helped if he decided to not stop?


It wouldn't have. Most safecalls are about as useful as a so-called "protection order" - and how many women have been murdered with one of those in their hands? It is actually good advice to meet at the Dominant's house. That way, you have an address, and you can walk out (if you're not tied up!). You can then have the kind of safecall in place where they ring the cops if you don't phone them at set time intervals, or answer your phone if they call you, or give the agreed code word.

:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 9:27:38 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Replace the word dom with "person"  Trust me, it will help you.  Doms are people l ike everyone else, good and bad.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 9:29:31 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Umm like did you have a safeword?

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelsub642

i met a Dom the other day and he was really aggressive as far as trying to get me to cooporate with him in a playing and sexual sense. i kept telling him no and pushing his hands away, no he did not oblige so i kicked him out. We met for coffee and back to my place, and yes i know this was a huge mistake on my part; even though he said over the phone that he will stop if i tell him to, well that went out the window.  i know i should be more cautious, and this was actually the first Dom i've met since my Dom.So here's my question: Are some Doms like this only here for trolling and luring female submissives in a aggressive manner just to get laid? Or are there true Doms out there that will actually stop when being told to? And is there a way to tell for sure either online, in person, or on the phone that the other person will stop if being told?



quote:

Aiuleen68
Just out of curiosity...how would a safecall had helped if he decided to not stop?


With the advancements in the forensic sciences coroners can now determine whether the deceased had a safe call in place as well as the exact amount of times the safeword was utilized prior to her death....It's all rather amazing and I would have to use really big words to explain all of what we scientist call "technical crud" in order for you all to understand the process.

I cannot recall how many times when the deceased's family has arrived at the morgue I have heard them say, "she might be dead...But at least she had a safe call in place."  It gives them comfort and closure....I overheard one couple as they were staring at the remains of their daughter whisper, "What was her safeword?"...Then they both simultaneously mouthed the word "rutabaga"...It was one of the most touching moments I have ever experienced.

_____________________________



(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 9:35:55 PM   
solitudesmiles


Posts: 807
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: my thoughts
Status: offline 		this is a very common thread unfortanty, i just some qustions for you. what the hell were you thinking..?
but i can very easily answer that for you, you wernt thinking at all. takeing this leftstyle aside, what was it that made you think that after only chatting with someone for a few weeks and then meeting them for coffee made you feel you trust them enough to bring into your home.?
and why is it that in many cases like this people loose rational thought? do you have the impression that you are safer in this world than the vannila world?
and in my eyes by doing what you did was sending them a big red flag saying "take me i'm easy" just my thougths i doubt that you will like any of them

_____________________________

“The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.”
(¯`v´¯)Sam
`*.¸.*´
¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ (¸.•´

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 9:43:08 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		Don't lie! You do stand up comedy on the side don't you?

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Agressive Dom - 7/17/2007 9:49:22 PM   
angelsub642


Posts: 57
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Yes i did, used it and Stop together

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Agressive Dom Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141