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RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/23/2007 3:14:25 PM   
Lewcifer


Posts: 126
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		your privacy is whatever you negotiate it to be in the relationship.  If this is a new relationship with no set rules yet, then I assume if privacy is important to you, that you won't give it up easily.  If He/She wants you to keep the bathroom door open while you defecate or urinate, negotiate that you will providing you are allowed to defecate and urinate in His/Her mouth.

_____________________________

I am fortunate... My wife is also My friend, lover and slave.

(in reply to NControlofU)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/23/2007 6:54:29 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

heck, I don't even burp in front of people. 
But in that case, my evil side would demand attention.  I would be very tempted to eat broccoli, cabbage and beans for lunch, and take a nice laxative before my "date". 
Kyst


Talk about topping from the bottom!

chia* (the pet)



~snorting with laughter~

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/23/2007 7:00:38 PM   
ThinkingKitten


Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline 		FR here:
Its us modern day westerners... getting all hot and bothered about our privacy. The ancient romans, and I dare say a few other cultures over time had communal lavatories, attached to the communal baths. Fast forward to modern day version: I picture a bunch of folks with their Sunday papers resplendent on their respective "thrones" discussing where the stock market closed on Friday........ with a couple of them using their crackberries, and someone else trying to hold a cellphone conversation......
 
I'm used to my privacy, I LIKE my privacy, but if it floated someone else's boat for me to leave the door open, then whatever, more fool them....
 

_____________________________

Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/23/2007 7:14:44 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvaLass

he requires her to leave the bathroom door open at all times, regardless of what she is doing in there. His feeling is that the submissive must give up all rights to emotional and physical privacy when she is with him at his home, even if they are only dating but not yet in a committed relationship.  



You can choose to go along with it or not. You know at the outset that it is his rule. Follow the rule or get out of the way of someone who will.

The problem here is that you want to dictate when he can assert his Dominance. If you are "dating" when is it appropriate for him to Dominate you? And how much?

Do you say on the third date "You can order for me from the menu but you cannot watch me poop"? What about after a month? When do you start submitting? If you know him well enough to know that he will require you to poop with the door open, I'd say that's an established enough dynamic to take this sort of direction.

If you're not comfortable with it, move on. Here's a thought though ... everybody poops. It's not like you're the only person who does it. ~shrug~ And if it's his rule, he's surely seen other subs poop. Be glad he's willing to let you go in the toilet.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to EvaLass)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/25/2007 6:49:03 PM   
BDsbabygirl


Posts: 115
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline 		Bathroom private? *LOL* my kids actually have to yell at me about closing the bathroom door. My ex-hubby and I made it a habit - just from being comfy w/each other - of leaving the door open, not on purpose, we just didn't close it on purpose.
Still, when it came to Big Daddy, I had trouble with it. He did 'gentle' me into it by not letting me put the phone down if we were talking and I had to go. The first couple of time I tried over the phone, I just couldn't go even tho I needed to badly. Eventually, I became quite comfy pissing over the phone. Then, he started telling me to leave it open when we're with each other in person. Same thing, several unsuccessful pee-pee attempts before I could go. Now I'm quite comfy with going with the door open in his presence...So far, we haven't even attempted the hurtle to pooping in each others' company; I still don't even fart around him!
 
As for why he gave the order -- he said he's always liked seeing women pee. He's even planning on us taking a stroll thru the park when I've had plenty to drink so that when I have to go, he can order me to squat. I'm no stranger to squatting, did it on a farm in MS for years. Just the thought of me squatting to piss turns us both on, so must be something I like, too! *shrugs* 
 
As for his peeing, he's been in the habit of leaving the door open when he goes - #1, only! - and we're planning on my holding "Mr. Happy" next time he goes when we're together. Ooh, la la!

_____________________________

~ Captured by My Dominance, enslaved by My love ~ -- Big Daddy
Collared by Master Big Daddy on Monday, 7/23/07 at 2:35pm

Into scat play? Boycott shampoo; demand the real poo!

(in reply to slaveish)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/25/2007 7:50:51 PM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		I have done that in the past  just to reaffirm that the slave is just that a slave and has "no rights".. but after a while i give the slave the right to do certain things and keep certain things private ,, as long as she is good and well behaved,, if not the "rights" or "Privileges" get taken away in a form of punishment,, and i will continue to do it in the future ,,

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/25/2007 8:05:10 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Potty privacy..not a problem for me, have done so in front of people (family, friends) whatever..so any Dominant who would demand such of me may find the thrill of such control not so thrilling as I have not one squeemish tick about it.However...other privacy issues..I may have difficulty with..finances could be one,verbalizing ALL feelings could be another,having my passwords to my computer would also be one...I am sure there are others..but heck ,I have no imagination as to how far a Dominant may push unknown privacy buttons within me.....Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to MasterMataeo)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/25/2007 8:37:46 PM   
Masternslave07


Posts: 203
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		I don't need to see my slave on the toilet, I pretty much know what is going on in there. Of course this is what I have decided, not her.
I do enjoy watching her pee on a puppy pad at times though.

_____________________________

You can lead a horse to water, but not a cow.

(in reply to EvaLass)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/25/2007 8:47:01 PM   
Ericus1


Posts: 47
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline 		I have only served 2 Mistress' in my life.  Both were 24/7.  And yes, this was the case with both.  I had no rights to privacy except what they gave me only after i hadasked for and expained why i needed it.

ericus

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/26/2007 3:42:33 PM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

Just give me some milk, and I'll put a quick end to the open door policy. 

Heh heh heh.

thornhappy
(who's been heard to yell at her Dom: "feel free to shut the door and turn on the fan!")

(in reply to Ericus1)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/26/2007 4:32:08 PM   
burningdesires47


Posts: 120
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		me personally, I've JUST gotten over a traumatic incident regarding a bathroom door and someone wanting to watch... from like 5 years ago. I don't close the door when my vanilla BF is home, but it's just a comfort thing--we're comfortable with each other. I grew up in a house where peeing with mom at the sink doing her makeup for work was normal. Peeing with someone (even dad) in the shower was normal, as we had one bathroom. Sleepovers featured 5 girls in a tiny bathroom all getting ready, usually with one on the pot. But then this guy wanted to watch, and that didn't creep me out as much as him not taking no for an answer. It took me 3 years to even START getting over it, despite my best efforts, and it took living in a house with 11 people and one bathroom to finally get me over it (mostly).

That said... leaving the door open may be a goal, but if I'm not committed to someone, they can shove the entire door up their ass as far as I'm concerned because that's the only way it'll be open before I'm ready for it to be.

I understand that some subs will run to the bathroom and close/lock the door to get out of a tough scene or tough conversation. a) I think they're cowards and a rule about leaving the door open doesn't change that, there are better ways to go about fixing that issue; and b) I'm willing to give up locking the door if my Dom is willing to trust me not to use the bathroom as a get out of scene free card. Then it simply becomes a matter of trust, and I think that trusting me not to use the bathroom as an escape earns more for the relationship than making me leave the door open.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/26/2007 4:45:56 PM   
slaveofKaos


Posts: 143
Joined: 2/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		When I first met my Master he never allowed me to close any doors including the bathroom door, and I still dont and my current Master isnt the first one i've been with that's had this rule either. I don't mind if he wants me to then he wants me to. It did take some tie to get use to it though.

_____________________________

slave jodi

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/26/2007 4:46:23 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		He doesn't even have a door on the master bath in the old house and I do not think that the house they are moving into next week has one either.

This is one of those humiliation buttons that he gets to push with me.  He watches me, makes me watch him and he enjoys my discomfort. 

As for private time, if I need it I can ask for it.  If it is possible to give to me then he will.  He knows that time alone is something that feeds me and I function much better if I get time alone every now and then.  It is especially important when I am in his house because it is very busy with the number of people and animals that live there.

In terms of privacy, there is only what he allows me.  We do not have secrets from each other and there is no aspect of my life that he cannot exercise his authority in whatever way he sees fit.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to EvaLass)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/26/2007 5:44:58 PM   
freyjasdottir


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: PA
Status: offline 		I am single with UM's when they were young it was safer leaving the door open so I knew what they were up to, now that I have a roommate and my one is older I have to remember to shut the darn thing.  Really cracked down on the dog getting hit in the head with sauce pans or the speed dial being hit to 911 while having a bm.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/26/2007 5:52:26 PM   
PairOfDimes


Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		It's nice to have the option to take away privacy, and it can be fun to embarrass people by invading their privacy--but generally, I like boundaries, and I encourage people in relationships with me to keep some things private. Their bodily eliminations are some of those things that I want to have private, not so much because it's more comfortable for the submissive, but because it's more comfortable for me and because a sense of privacy is a quality I value.

(in reply to EvaLass)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: D/s relationships: the submissive's privacy - 7/26/2007 6:45:56 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

My first reaction is...... BDSM people 'date'?  That would be the new concept for me after all these years.  It always used to be you would meet someone and decide if you wanted to take the next step.
I've always "dated". For me that is the next step after I've met someone. I dated to see if I liked that person enough to have sex, to play, or beome committed to.


To the OP, Master requires me to keep the door open, but that only occured after I became collared to him.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 76
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