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Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 2:42:55 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		Here of late been in to some really heavy debates about drug use in the lifestyle.. I am one very much against this for a couple of reasons. First being it brings law enforcement down into our comunity. Second the term consenual seems to go out the window when there is drug use...I am sure the left and right views will come out into this Alli know is that what i call cause and effect or more then just to ones self.. I have seen Dommes that drank or do drugs before doing a scene. I have scene subs drink or do drugs before scene. what they do not know is the damage that is done.. to me this is like russian roulett only once is all it takes.. If something is ment to be safe it is ment to be a controled enviroment how can you with drinking and drugs. You can not drive a car when drinking  so why should be allowed to use toys on a sub or sub let someone play with them  your thoughts ?

< Message edited by LATEXBABY64 -- 7/23/2007 2:54:10 PM >
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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 2:47:09 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		Thank GOD you're here to save us!

~stef


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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 2:51:58 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with all the above points.

And yet, people are people. Best to know what drugs people MIGHT be using, what the possible effects are, and what to do about them if you are going to go the club scene route. I'd never had much of a problem with this until one night in NYC I was playing with a new friend and someone under the influence thought talking to me once at a dungeon meant that's an invite to beat new friend's ass. Awkward social situation with coked cutie ensued. Ugh.  Drugs are prevalent. Ask your casual contacts "been partying?" and try and figure out how and on what.

Whether a good idea or not, it's going to happen. And I'll be the first to admit I've done some very basic no-equipment stuff while in the bag, and with someone else who was. Surely it's still OK to fuck under the influence?


< Message edited by Grlwithboy -- 7/23/2007 2:54:29 PM >

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 2:52:34 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		I personaly do not want to play with a Dom/me that is cranked up on anything. I will take my beatings sober, thank you.

for some (in no way do I mean all or even most) subs a drink to "take the edge off the hit" is not totally taboo. but one is my limit.

I had a vanilla friend that knew of my lifestyle that asked me to beat her one night. She asked what time I planned to be there so she could be "totally trashed" I told her I was not coming.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 2:53:52 PM   
MistressGayle


Posts: 76
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with you, Latex. There is no place for choosing to be uncontrolled when the situatuion more than merits control -- it's like those idiots who CHOOSE to drink and drive... someone else usually pays the price for their choices... the vanilla world already has enough difficulty with the lifestyle, why give more fuel for the fire?

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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 2:55:07 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		I think anyone who trys to have a TPE or CAT with someone who gets inebrated on a regular basis is just asking for trouble.

This is one of the reasons why I gave up drinking and have been sober except for the occasional light social drinking for nearly a year and a half now.

I realized and decided what I really wanted to be and what it takes to be a Master/Dominant and getting intoxicated has ZERO place in the lifestyle of someone who has complete authority over another person.

The bad decisions I made in the past when I was drunk are crystal clear proof to me to how deterimental getting smashed can be when you have someone who is not supposed to say "No" to you.

Edited to Add : Two years ago, anyone who would have given up control to me would have been an IDIOT

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 7/23/2007 2:56:36 PM >

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Advice for New Dominants
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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 2:56:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Do what works for you.  If we told everyone who was taking prescription drugs/drank two or more cups of caffeine/smoked more than 2 cigarettes a day/drank more than one glass of wine a day/exercised to the point of getting endorphin rushes that they were unfit to do kinky stuff, you'd have really small munches and parties.

Do what works for you.  I'm happy to say I've been to plenty of parties where adults measured their own level of competency and the level of who they chose to play with and everyone was fine with that.  It's nice when adults choose to play in the adult pool AND take the consequences.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_591708/mpage_2/key_alcohol/tm.htm#592098
No alcohol, but what about drugs?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_357268/mpage_1/key_drugs/tm.htm#357279
alcohol/drug use in the scene

http://www.collarchat.com/m_397932/mpage_1/key_alcohol/tm.htm#397986
under the influence

http://www.collarchat.com/m_233286/mpage_3/key_alcohol%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#233955
Alcohol and BDSM

http://www.collarchat.com/m_233276/mpage_1/key_alcohol/tm.htm#233305
alcohol consumption and bdsm

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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 2:59:08 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
I think anyone who trys to have a TPE or CAT with someone who gets inebrated on a regular basis is just asking for trouble.

Define regular basis?  My sister is a mother of small ones and she definitely still enjoys her nights out with the girls and gets inebriated- sometimes even drunk.

That's what the dad is for- to babysit.  Then next week, he gets to go out with his buds.

Somehow they are still more than great parents.


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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:01:28 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
I think anyone who trys to have a TPE or CAT with someone who gets inebrated on a regular basis is just asking for trouble.

Define regular basis?  My sister is a mother of small ones and she definitely still enjoys her nights out with the girls and gets inebriated- sometimes even drunk.

That's what the dad is for- to babysit.  Then next week, he gets to go out with his buds.

Somehow they are still more than great parents.



I think you can use the kind of vague but you know it when you see it standard of "when it becomes a problem for you, inhibits your normal life/routine."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:05:30 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		L.A., you make a good point.

There is exceptions to everything.

For the sake of fairness, this subject is one of the few that I have strong opinions about and its really impossible for me to post about it or talk about it without it being subjected to emotion or biased by my complete hatred for substance abuse and over intoxication.

My opinion will always be my opinion, but one tainted HEAVILY by disdain from many bad personal exepriences.






< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 7/23/2007 3:07:19 PM >

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:07:16 PM   
MistressGayle


Posts: 76
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		The issue I see with your statement about choosing to play in the adult pool and taking the consequences, is that mostly the consequences harm others, NOT the one who made the choice to be under the influence...

And I consider it sad that anyone with small children would choose to be inebriated; when My children were small, it was My "choice" to be there to care for them 24/7, not just when their father was home. My ex was called out to the job in the middle of the night too many times to count -- "I" needed to be an accountable, and responsible Mom always, not just during the day. This is just My opinion and choice for My life with My children, obviously.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:14:35 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well I guess I support my sister and her husband realizing they deserve to maintain adult friendships and do adult things and that the BENEFIT of having two happily married parents is that they can trade off occasional nights to enjoy such without causing any problems in raising their young ones who are learning to respect that adults get to do things that young ones can't, but also to respect their own parents having their own lives.

As well I actually BELIEVE in adults being responsible for their own choices with who to play with and the consequences.  I don't just give it lip service to the things I happen to like and then tell everyone to fuck off when they do things I don't like.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:15:21 PM   
lilfemme23


Posts: 37
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Some of you are familiar with my Master and i. Although He will drink to talk there is never any play while He is under the influence and i don't drink or do drugs ever. i think a Dom/e is not going to be very astute as to how much is too much when they are inebriated and that can be messy and painful. i think it is best to just avoid the situation.


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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:19:42 PM   
MistressGayle


Posts: 76
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I agree 100%.

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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:21:12 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		I see this thread slippng into treating all drinking and drug use, as no different from the worst alcohol and drug abuse, which is not a useful way of dealing with real life.




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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:25:45 PM   
MistressGayle


Posts: 76
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		actually, I think the words "under the influence" and "inebriated" have been used; which to Me means "too much" for whomever to stay in control...

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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:41:32 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		One can be 'under the influence' or 'inebriated' of/with control - I see no difference.
The difference is only when one is of usage and one is abuse of.
 
Peace
the.dark.

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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:44:03 PM   
mrbob726


Posts: 155
Joined: 4/15/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		I say drink all you want, just don't drive - and that means a car, a paddle, whip or anything else dangerous. Drinking to excess (more than one or two drinks) during any scene is asking for disaster. Same goes for any drugs that have any intoxifying effect. Nuf Said

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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:47:51 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Several points I'd like to observe:
 
1.  People are free to make their own decisions, including "bad" decisions.  That's the nature of freedom. 
 
2.  Within the context of full disclosure (ie: the drug use is known and discussed), whatever two (or more) adults consent to is fine by me.
 
3.  Most (not all) people have concluded that the use of drugs (and/or alcohol in excess) can have deleterious consequences on a scene relative to perception, consent, impaired motor function, etc.... and ultimately upon the assumption of risk.
 
4.  Most (not all) clubs, groups, dungeons, organizations, and individuals have chosen not to associate with people who choose to engage in drug use when they scene.  If you choose to use drugs when you scene, you may have to do so privately.
 
John

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Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Drugs in the lifestyle - 7/23/2007 3:48:20 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

 First being it brings law enforcement down into our comunity.


And?  There are numerous illegal activities that is a part of BDSM that bring in the law and other authorities.  What makes drug usage so different.
 
Besides - define the word 'drug'.

quote:

Second the term consenual seems to go out the window when there is drug use...


Same could be said when a person is spaced - dom or sub - makes no difference.
 
And define 'controlled environment'.  Every single thing is completely subjective.  What you see as controlled I could see as completely pointless and useless.
 
When we start policing others, be prepared to be dictated to yourself.  And in that arena - BDSM becomes null and void.
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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