MaitresseEden
Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline
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quote:
At the same time,I look at my own financial status and decide if it's good enough for a relationship to fly. At this time in my life,I'm self employed and I'm not at the earning levels to afford a 24 7 D/s lifestyle. So I work to improve that,and do without for now
Ok, Returning to the topic and hand, and refusing to engage engage in others bitterness and personal therapy, I have a question for you Gemeni, and the others too: ( Caveat: this post is not intended to be directed at Gemeni, I just replied to his post to get things back on track)
Why should you "do without"? Just because your financial status is strained at the moment? If a relationship is meant to be "real" it is like you said. " quote:
She'll have to work as hard as I do. It goes both ways Why do we allow our Dom or sub roles to circumvent our general understanding of human compassion and understanding.
I feel it is safe to assume that WE ALL AGREE there are people who use others, and there will always continue to be such people.
HOWEVER... the majority of us all of us feel in some way or another, that we are the exceptions to this stereotype, and yet we continue to apply our own negativity and assumptions to others yet we do not want them applied to us. Is this not self-defeating behavior?
If you truly care for a person, you help them if your able.. Now that doesn't mean everyone should go asking for things, and it means you must be mature enough to comprehend the difference between wants and needs. There is a huge difference between needing money to go to doctor and needing a 400k house.
Another issue that is relevent to this discussion is the sense of entitlement. We all have some sense of it. I think I'm entittled to freedom, health care, and yes.. even an ocassional foot massage, or housecleaning. Part of maturing and growing as a dominant is understanding that while it sure would be nice to have a free ride through life, it isn't my entittlement, and anything I have I have worked hard for and earned on my own. Even those gifts I have recieved, were given to me because because I invested of myself into another person and they me and hence we became friends and or lovers. You don't ask, or demand things.. but if they are given you say thanks.
The whole point of this thread was to enlighten and give some understanding to the mindset that people have about thier need for financial security, and like it or not, it is something that everyone desires. No ones brags about wanting to be poor, or broke.
Instead of all the bemoaning that is being done about past experiences, and perceptions.. Ask yourself, how honest you are with others about your finances, and how upfront you are about your wants vs. your needs. Instead of alll the gripeing about all the people that are out there that want your money, or what your body, but give you nothing in return.. Take the time to ask them the tough questions and see what it is that the really need. I have met sooooo many woman in the scene who are literally one meal or paycheck away from being homeless, that the nickels,dimes and free meals they get are all that keep them surviving. I have met men, who are equally as desperate for someone to help them. I'm not justifying this, but I am trying to say.. take the time to understand it before you condemn someone.
Furthermore, Ask yourself at what point would you start caring for a person enough to co-mingle funds, or lack thereof? If you are trusting that person with your life, and giving them your heart, then what else are you waiting for? A sign ?.. Why is it that we give everything else so freely, with the exception of money?
Ms. Eden
_____________________________
"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"
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RE: Dick & Paycheck - 
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