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RE: help... - 7/27/2007 5:03:21 PM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl85
He is divorced, but there is no one else as far as I know. I have been to his house. I have seen where his children sleep. I have done his dishes, he has cooked me breakfast, I have slept in his bed.

I had been sending him a good night and good morning texts. So thats eight, plus two emails, and two phone calls. plus some little texts about finishing the Harry potter book and going out with a friend. I do know that he has other priorties, more important ones to. Im not going to call him ten times a day crying to him. I have learned my lesson there it doesnt help any. I know its only four days, but since we have started talking, it is the longest we have gone with no communication at all. I was worried.

Okay, now we got something to go on here.

Number one: kids, unless hes hyper loaded and can somehow afford to have a squad of nannies then that is going to be (and bloody well should be) his priority which is going to take up more than a shitload of time.

Numero Dos: Lemme go out on a limb here and say this. Whenever I have someone I know do something for me and I wait for such a thing to be done, each time they contact me, whether it be simply friendly or businesslike then I'm going to keep thinking if theyre doing the thing I asked them to do. Eventually each time they contact me as the time goes by any message I get from them that dosent say they did the thing I asked is going to seem more and more inane (not a typo) to the point to the point I just get irritated.

You contacted him..alot..and if I was in his psyche I can imagine the little harry potter texts and going out things which had nothing to do with the thing you two had in agreement may just have made him say "fuck it". Who knows, maybe hes the impatient one here, and although you dont know it, you've been pushing his buttons by simply not doing as your dom says.

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Post #: 61

RE: help... - 7/27/2007 5:48:02 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic
Perhaps he specifically wants to see how she does it without clarification....I don't believe she's told us what the task is (and if it's personal, shouldn't have to), and it might be something he wants her to work out on her own. Maybe he just wants her to work for it.

Maybe, but if so then he has a judgement issue to work on because she obviously wasn't prepared for it and I really don't think that little bit of knowledge he gained is worth all this mess he now has to clean up which would have been easily avoidable.

SImply saying "I want to see how you do on this without further instruction from me" would have done the job. As would sending a quick email talking about lots of stuff OTHER than answering her question, while simultaneously avoiding all the insecurity and trust issues they now have to work through.

Trust is something GROWN over time, and now they are back to zero.

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Post #: 62

RE: help... - 7/27/2007 11:33:58 PM

goodgirl85

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
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Well, he has contacted me, finally. He simply told me that he has been preoccupied. Preoccupied enough not to contact me at all. Not even to tell me that I should stop sending him text messages because his phone plan is screwed up. Apparently whatever it is that has him so preoccupied has him thinking that me asking him is I have done something to piss him off as being dramatic. Shrugs. The last thing he said was that he will stay in touch when he can.... which ultimately, to me anyways, leaves me hanging. This was done in an email and and a voicemail. and not even a good bye. I don't know how long it will be before he calls me again... it may be monday.... it may be two weeks from now. But all in all, I told him I wouldn't wait around until he decides he wants to use me, and I am not going to. Thank you all for your advice.

girl

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Post #: 63

RE: help... - 7/27/2007 11:57:45 PM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl85

Well, he has contacted me, finally. He simply told me that he has been preoccupied. Preoccupied enough not to contact me at all. Not even to tell me that I should stop sending him text messages because his phone plan is screwed up. Apparently whatever it is that has him so preoccupied has him thinking that me asking him is I have done something to piss him off as being dramatic. Shrugs. The last thing he said was that he will stay in touch when he can.... which ultimately, to me anyways, leaves me hanging. This was done in an email and and a voicemail. and not even a good bye. I don't know how long it will be before he calls me again... it may be monday.... it may be two weeks from now. But all in all, I told him I wouldn't wait around until he decides he wants to use me, and I am not going to. Thank you all for your advice.

girl

Good for you. It sounds as if your communication style and his do not match up; I am all for honesty and now you know that he feels you have been "dramatic", you have the knowledge needed to make a decision.

What is tough is being so into someone and finding out that they disrespect your communication needs. But you move on, no other choice other than staying in a relationship, however new and feeling mistreated.

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Post #: 64

RE: help... - 7/28/2007 2:56:50 AM

SubinMaine

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Joined: 1/7/2006
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OP, i'm so very sorry things worked as they did. SexyRed is right...the communication styles were just not a match and, IMO that is a key aspect to any D/s relationship.

Good luck to you...you'll find the One you're meant for *nod*

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Post #: 65

RE: help... - 7/28/2007 3:43:24 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubinMaine

OP, i'm so very sorry things worked as they did. SexyRed is right...the communication styles were just not a match and, IMO that is a key aspect to any D/s relationship.

Good luck to you...you'll find the One you're meant for *nod*

Ditto.

Stephan

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Post #: 66

RE: help... - 7/28/2007 9:55:51 AM

feastie

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Joined: 6/4/2004
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I think the problem is more than just communication styles. Regardless, I think you've made the right decision, goodgirl.

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Post #: 67