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RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 9:13:19 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyIce
Many of the men that approach me online, claim to be submissive, but usually
are searching for fetish activities and sex.


Well, I would think that sex and fetish activities would certainly be a part of what someone on an adult fetish site would be looking for. For some, yes, that is their primary goal here...but I would think that sex and fetish activities would be at least part of the "big picture" that most people here are looking for, especially if they are looking for a long term relationship. While there may be some folks who would be happy in long term abstinence or are completely asexual, I believe those are rare. Most people are seeking healthy amounts of sexual activity on a fairly regular basis as part of a long term relationship.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LadyIce)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 9:17:31 AM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Erin, what I meant was that is all they are seeking.
My defintion of a submissive means a lot more than sex and fetish activities.
I am sorry I was not clear, on that.

In a long term relationship, I seek more than sex and fetish activities.
I am talking about people approaching me that ONLY want the sex/fetish activities, and
not a total relationship.
Ciao

< Message edited by LadyIce -- 7/29/2007 9:18:34 AM >

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 9:24:09 AM   
MellowSir


Posts: 260
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		I've found that when I come across a "nympho" lol, that so long as I satisfy that desire, I am able to lead her into the bdsm and d/s side of things relatively easy.....certainly she follows my commands in the bedroom, for a start, then later in other things....

(in reply to LadyIce)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 10:24:52 AM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Okay, I just read the thread about the Dominant woman that is pissed off,
because a female slave approached her indicating she wanted a sexual relationship.
 
Okay, Masters would this be a problem for YOU?

Seriously, would you consider a submissive that really was a sex addict?
If she was a great submissive over all, but she had, well that little problem?
 
I know it would be a tough job, but someone would need to take her in, and look
after her.



as one mysself it would be much welcomed

MasterMataeo

_____________________________

remember the Four corners: Communication, Honesty, Respect , and Trust

Try anything Once, Twice if you like it, Three times to make sure, four makes it a habit, and five makes it's a fetish.


(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 10:32:23 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Well, that is fine, but who cooks, cleans and does the chores?
 
Is it okay with you if she is not submissive outside of BDSM activity or sexual
activities?

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MasterMataeo)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 10:40:26 AM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		as it is ,, that would have to be discussed between her and me ,, for i'm all about the Dominante side ,, but realze that there must be a compormise as with anything,,
If she chose to be differnt outside the the bedroom or the BDSM aspect of the life ,, that would be fine as long as her part was taken care of by her,,
and aslong as the honesty,trust and respect were not betrayed and there was open communication on all fronts ,, where would the problem lie?


MasterMataeo

_____________________________

remember the Four corners: Communication, Honesty, Respect , and Trust

Try anything Once, Twice if you like it, Three times to make sure, four makes it a habit, and five makes it's a fetish.


(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 10:42:53 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		hummm, could work!
 


_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MasterMataeo)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 10:47:10 AM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		anything can work if the proper tools and techniques are put in place and used properly

MasterMataeo

_____________________________

remember the Four corners: Communication, Honesty, Respect , and Trust

Try anything Once, Twice if you like it, Three times to make sure, four makes it a habit, and five makes it's a fetish.


(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 11:05:04 AM   
SirEbonyPhoenix


Posts: 195
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: My realm in Central Indiana (you guess where :P)
Status: offline 		As a Dominant, I would not consider any submissive/slave as a potential partner if their prime focus is all about sex and not about service as well as being trained. This to me indicates that a sub/slave who is a sex addict is in need of professional counseling for herself and also her partner as a means of support while she is recieving therapy. Besides, sex, to me,  in a D/s relationship would only be a reward for her if she has been loyal and demonstrated good behavior as part of her training.

_____________________________

"If it takes one to know one, then you must be one."

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 11:10:15 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I am in total agreement with SirEbonyPhoenix.
It is nice to see a man that is looking for a lot more than sex, and is focused on the "service"
element!
I agree with sex being more of a reward, than the central focus for me.
 
Thank you SirEbonyPhoenix!!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 11:11:02 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalMasterOne

I have NEVER understood what in the world a sex addict is, and why it is bad?

It's an addiction to sex. It's when you want sex so badly that it interferes with your life. If your partner isn't around to give you sex, you go somewhere else because you have to have your fix. It can interfere with your job if you spend too much time in the bathroom pleasuring yourself. It interferes with friendships when that is all you can talk about, all you can think about. It interferes with your relationships with your family when you'd rather be out fucking than with them for an important family dinner.
quote:


It seems to me that it is just a case of mismatched libido's.

No. Mismatched libidos are when two people don't have the same sex drive. Sex addiction is when one person's need and desire for sex controls their whole life.
quote:


I just wish I could find a slave whose libido matched mine. It may seem like braggadocio but often many women, like many men, are too easily satisfied.

It does.
quote:


 Perhaps that is why I need more than one?

Or maybe you are just poly.
quote:


 As for nymphomania? That should be my worst problem in life.

You have no idea what you just said.

You have no idea how hard it actually is to have nymphomania. You have no idea how hard it is to want to be faithful to someone and you can't. You have no idea how hard it is to want to be part of your family's activities and can't because you just want to have sex and get off and that is the most important thing in the world.

I've got friends who deal with that and it's not fun at all. It's not sexy, it's not fun, it's not something you want to have and it's not something you want to deal with. It's an addiction.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BrutalMasterOne)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 11:22:18 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I am in total agreement with SirEbonyPhoenix.
It is nice to see a man that is looking for a lot more than sex, and is focused on the "service"
element!
I agree with sex being more of a reward, than the central focus for me.
 
Thank you SirEbonyPhoenix!!


See, I don't get the whole "sex is a reward" concept. I can see where it is rewarding, but not a reward. To me, sex is a mutually fulfilling activity that is shared on a regular basis between two people who are in a loving and committed relationship. It should be spontaneous and not have to be "earned". If someone I was with only gave it to me as a "reward", I would assume that it was not something that they wanted to do because of their own natural desires to do so. "She did a great job scrubbing the floor today, I think I'll give her some dick as a reward". Huh?????? Nope, don't get it. I want sex with my partners to be because they desire it as much as I do.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 7/29/2007 11:23:13 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 11:23:02 AM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I am in total agreement with SirEbonyPhoenix.
It is nice to see a man that is looking for a lot more than sex, and is focused on the "service"
element!
I agree with sex being more of a reward, than the central focus for me.
 
Thank you SirEbonyPhoenix!!



primarily it is not about the sex ,, Be the ability to be able to deal with the common problem that we both have ,, and how to deal with it
hope that makes sense

MasterMataeo

< Message edited by MasterMataeo -- 7/29/2007 11:24:22 AM >

_____________________________

remember the Four corners: Communication, Honesty, Respect , and Trust

Try anything Once, Twice if you like it, Three times to make sure, four makes it a habit, and five makes it's a fetish.


(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 11:25:48 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I am in total agreement with SirEbonyPhoenix.
It is nice to see a man that is looking for a lot more than sex, and is focused on the "service"
element!
I agree with sex being more of a reward, than the central focus for me.
 
Thank you SirEbonyPhoenix!!


See, I don't get the whole "sex is a reward" concept. I can see where it is rewarding, but not a reward. To me, sex is a mutually fulfilling activity that is shared on a regular basis between two people who are in a loving and committed relationship. It should be spontaneous and not have to be "earned". If someone I was with only gave it to me as a "reward", I would assume that it was not something that they wanted to do because of their own natural desires to do so. "She did a great job scrubbing the floor today, I think I'll give her some dick as a reward". Huh?????? Nope, don't get it. I want sex with my partners to be because they desire it as much as I do.


Completely agree with you there. We do both ways - we have sex when we both want it and I can earn things like... sex while him wearings fangs or certain types of play that I really like. He will do them if he feels like it, but I can also earn it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 11:38:53 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I actually understand what you are saying, for once.


Glad I could communicate. It would be helpful if you tell me when I don't, which would be those other "once"'s.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 12:13:20 PM   
Tinman1960


Posts: 46
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		sex addict or nympho ? Both could be fun for a little while depending on their degree of "need"...but the reality is, I would never accept either as a submissive or slave if that was all they wanted from a D/s relationship. Sex itself doesn't make for a relationship in my opinion...call me old fashioned but I want more than that from a sub or slave.

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 5:25:08 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I think that answer would be as varied as the people answering.


Yes. It varies with the level of comprehension of the concept "addiction".

I know people who enjoy all sorts of things.
I also know people with addictions to many of these things.
The distinction is impossible to miss, in my opinion.

quote:


I don't think it can be considered a sexual addiction unless it interferes and has negative impact on your life....and that does not include simply being hooked up with a partner whose libido doesn't match your own.


~nod~

Though that can be a problem in its own right.

Common "solutions" include: party A refraining from sex when they want it, party B having sex when they don't want it, party A having their libido lowered, party B having their libido raised, party A getting to have sex with others, and parties A and B breaking up.

None of those are ideal solutions, and I'd tend to see the last one as least desireable.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 5:28:45 PM   
foxynfun


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/29/2007
Status: offline 		being able to orgasm and show my Master that is the most important thing in my life. 

(in reply to MasterMataeo)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 5:33:07 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Most people in this thread, with notable exceptions, have no idea what a sex addiction is.
I used to want it 5-6 times a day, every day. But I was never an addict.

A person with sex addiction typically gets little or no satisfaction from sex.
Wrap all your heads around that for a moment: all sex, all day, no gain.
Some descriptions portray it like orgasm denial play, except 24/7.

Many have little or no control over it.
Those who do, still have to expend energy to stave off the addiction.
All the time.

Apart from that, distinguishing between hypersexuality and persistant sexual arousal syndrome would be useful to the debate.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Masters? Would you consider a sex addict as a submi... - 7/29/2007 6:28:24 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

Most people in this thread, with notable exceptions, have no idea what a sex addiction is.
I used to want it 5-6 times a day, every day. But I was never an addict.

A person with sex addiction typically gets little or no satisfaction from sex.
Wrap all your heads around that for a moment: all sex, all day, no gain.
Some descriptions portray it like orgasm denial play, except 24/7.

Many have little or no control over it.
Those who do, still have to expend energy to stave off the addiction.
All the time.

Apart from that, distinguishing between hypersexuality and persistant sexual arousal syndrome would be useful to the debate.



Aswad, i believe you're correct...judging from the replies here, it seems that most have absolutely no idea what it means to be a sex addict. it is not someone who loves sex,  has a high sex drive, is sexually voracious, etc. it is every bit as severe as a drug addiction or long-term eating disorder, and something very, very few people would be devoted or strong enough to handle in a partner. for a sex addict the sex is just an attempt to fill a hole, it's akin to drinking sea water to stave off thirst. it is not pretty or sexy or fun, for anyone.

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 60
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