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ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

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ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
So why do so many feel suffering needs to be part of the deal???

ms

"Because thats the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it. uh-huh. uh-huh." - Jim Carrie in Bruce Almighty

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

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ORIGINAL: slaveish

The way I see it is that in a long-term D/s or M/s relationship, I will be expected to display my submission even when I am not in the mood to do so. Overcoming it, expressing my willingness to remain submissive, even when I don't want to, "suffering" through a task while remaining in my place is what I do and a reaffirmation of what I am. It is challenging, it can be maddening, and in the end it is ultimately satisfying.

From speaking with Fox over the years I think this is very much how he sees it and I happen to agree though I also believe I have responsibility to both of us to try and make the positives far out number and out weigh the negetives.

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ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Magik: I equate this kind of thinking to the same kind of mis-understandings some people can sometimes have about some other people using "Humiliation" in a BDSM relationship. I think the person in the post you quoted probably had a difference of opinion with their partner re: What kind of "kink" they were both "into".

If  I wound up with someone who wanted 24-7 watersports (as a submissive anyway, I am a Switch), I'd be lost. I don't want to do it, really. I just find it a little "squicky". Isn't that what "limits" are for? I think people need to discuss their limits with their partner (and abide by them, too).

Define "suffering". Also, some people, truly are (consensual) Sadists (and some people are (consensual) masochists).

Different strokes for different folks. If "Suffering" isn't what almost everyone here is probably after (in some context, using different "methods") - well then, what are any people all doing here with whips and chains in the first place at all?
"Suffering" can feel pretty darned good, in the right context, that is, given the right partner.

Misunderstandings of the use of Humiliation, for example, in a BDSM relationship, can seem, at times, to abound on these CM boards (especially among "newbies".) Personally - I love it, both as a submissive and as a Domme (I am a Switch). Some people think it's "cruel". It isn't supposed to be - it is supposed to feel good. If the people involved didn't truly appreciate it, I doubt they'd keep using it in their BDSM interactions with eachother.

My take? They just don't "get" how good some really well done Humiliation can make me (or a partner) feel (although lately it's been rare, not "well done" - but that's only because I've been kinda busy, hehe.)

And it can feel really good. Will they ever understand that? I don't really care that much, if they do, or not. I can like it (a lot), and I'll probably continue to like it.

*But also, some people are just plain dysfunctional, and the think being treated poorly as a human being generally, is part of the D/s deal, and sometimes consequently that they are being mistreated at every turn (even if they're not). I find this to be just plain sad. Sometimes, though, they may genuinely be being (non-consensually) abused. In that case, I think they need to leave.

- Susan   

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ORIGINAL: BoiJen

okay I may be a bit off key but here goes mine..

I don't suffer. I may be uncomfortable. I may not be happy all the time about doing something. I may not even want to do something. But I do whatever it is because I WANT to be here. Therefore...as it is my desire to be here and my want and needs are being met...even as a masochist...I do not suffer...despite my goddamned headaches.

And I like pain...I don't always want it in the specific way She chooses to dish it out but I like it. Masochist are not who they are because they enjoy the pleasure another one gets from causing them pain. They are masochists because the enjoy the pain itself...says so right in the definition of the word...

"Masochist: one who gets pleasure from pain"...I don't see anything about anyone else's enjoyment.

I'm feeling fiesty!

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ORIGINAL: loverly

why is totally pleasing ones Master by being a slave to Him have to mean suffering? i find it   joyous !  otherwise walk the other way! lol everyone has a choice.. either you desire to be that all for someOne and make Them happier than they ever thought possiable or you dont .. simple.. personally its a need for me not a want so being fullfilled is a goal to me only doing as my Master wishes can feed that for me. course i am not perfect and somethings i am not able to do due to phobias or age or what have You but .. all in all i believe a MAster understands that and is pleased at even the wish to totally please !  i would hope so anyway! 

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ORIGINAL: Archer

I think the possition has been read wrongly several times since it rubs some folks the wrong way.

My reading and restatement of the OP position is While all slavery is to some extent conditional, the test of how conditional is displayed through willingness to suffer.
If you never test where the conditional aspect lies then you simply don't know for sure how conditional it is in reality, you might know theoreticly where the conditional part comes in but not the real point of conditionality.

For some the theoretical point of withdrawl of consent is enough (I know they will serve me in all ways I ever ask based only on their word) for others, the point of withdrawl of consent is not something theoretical knowlledge will be enough.

The OP, in my reading of it, was pointing to the fact that unless it is tested, it is only theory.