Mustardseed
Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CLASSnKINK
I can appreciate that you have an abundance of mail. I wish you luck in sorting through it all. I do however hope you will at least take time to glance at it and send a short no to those that have at least put forth some effort to write you a brief coherant note.
You may also want to consider how long it may take someone with so much mail to look through and answer all of it that fits their criteria -- especially if they go for the most promising messages and profiles first -- then move on to the messages that reach their bulk mailbox. Also if that person gets another response back from a more promising party, I'd not be surprised if they put bulk and other mail on hold to continue the conversation that most fascinated them.
If the point of this site is to make connections, find people you really click with and hopefully hook up, it doesn't make sense to make mail that doesn't float one's boat a priority in the face of a potential relationship.
As to "hi" messages, "winks" I've gotten on Alt.com and the like, I generally respond with, "Hi. Um, do I know you? If so, from where? If not, was there something in specific you wanted to talk to me about? Something in my profile or on my blog that you wanted to comment on?" and go from there. In most cases, I never hear from these people again.
When I get a message from someone unsuitable, I tend to respond with, "Hi. Thanks for hotlisting me! I'm flattered, though reading your profile I'm confused about why you did so. Was there something in specific you wanted to discuss with me? I hope that you're having a great day!" In most cases, the person realizes that even though I'm a switch, I'm not hunting for another top or dom right now -- the ones who bother to respond usually apologize for not checking my profile more closely.
I've never gotten to the point where I needed to scan through my inbox list of message titles, copy-n-paste a username and look up the profile before even reading the message; but depending on what the rest of my life was like -- if I had limited time where I could access adult sites like CollarMe -- I could certainly see making a decision to put a lot of mail on the backburner or even delete it unread just because there might not be that many hours in day.
The majority of the contacts I have go to Bulk Mail. If I don't think to check it, they sit not only unread, but undiscovered for a fairly long time no matter how often I log on. CollarMe announces when I get new mail that fits my criteria, but it doesn't bother to point out mail that does not -- I have to think to check that folder whether it has anything in it or not. There are people who don't realize that there's any mail there, and there are people who are so busy that I imagine that they think that maybe they'll think to check it the next time.
I have sent out mail that has never gotten opened, and I've sent out mail that has been read but has gone unanswered. That's fairly rare. I don't send out much mail, and when I do I generate each message uniquely for the person I'm addressing. Considering how little mail I send out, I get a fairly high response rate. Even to people who live far away ... hell, if they've got great body art in a picture, I may write to give them props even if they're not a great match for me. If I find someone who seems ideal ... but lives too far away, I may send them an "alas" note. (Okay, actually it's more pouty than Elizabethan, but perhaps you get my drift.) I may have a standard mental template for some responses to mail I've received, but I think that an interesting profile deserves a unique -- not canned -- response. I don't like getting mail that suggests the person didn't have a reason for finding my particular profile interesting. I respond to it, but it's always with my own internal template.
I would say that this is a learning experience. You've only sent out 30 messages thus far, and given the number of users I'm guessing that there must be a couple of hundred other profiles here that fit your criteria. The first 30 were a bust unless some of them still intend to get back to you. Maybe you can keep practicing and see if what goes around comes around.
_____________________________
Carve your name into my arm / Instead of stressed I lie here charmed - Placebo
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