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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/25/2007 5:01:21 PM   
minnetar


Posts: 1272
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline 		i guess i am fortunate that i have never had a need to fake one.

minnetar

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/25/2007 5:26:37 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i have faked orgasms however before i reveal any secrets, you must sign a non-disclosure form first.

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/25/2007 5:26:43 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Some of this is SO sad, makes me want to cry.  I am going to start a new public service campaign to maintain an hour of foreplay before sex.
That would be great but what about those who are no good at foreplay as well ( as several of the users posting here have stated).
 
Women can come during intercourse if you know what you are doing.  I am bit out of shape to do this well, but with some much welcome inspiration that will soon change.  Anyway, as one thrusts into a woman you contract the stomach muscles and arch your back.  The causes the head of the cock to ride the top of the vaginal canal and ride up and over the G spot.  Huge difference in sensation for the woman.  Another thing is to remember that the clitoris is often important, so somebody better be playing with it. 
Hey, who finished my bottle of 151?

If I want a woman to cum from intercourse, I just cheat.  You go down on her, make her almost cum a couple of times and one time when she is close slide in and go for it..
Sometimes stopping the sensation, even for the brief moment it takes to remove your tongue and slide your cock in, can send the woman back to the starting line (at least for me) .  Look again at the post made by Mistress, myself, and SDFemDomme4Cuck..

Then again you could just look her in the eye and laugh.  Works for me.
Bartender, another shot please!


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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 5:06:17 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		Lmao....Scooter and i just had this conversation last night though it started out over a joke he got from a parts place about women who with held sex in order to get what they wanted. You know, "you are not getting any until you do", which i never understood because don't women want it as much as men?
 
I do not understand why anybody would fake it. Or even how for that matter.
 
Hell i'd have to have a special effects crew set everything up if i wanted to fake it plus be the worlds best actress.
 
The shakes, the muscle spasms, the noise, the all over body redness, the 3 gallon puddle..........
 
 

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 5:07:37 AM   
Twicehappy2x


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Joined: 3/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

Hey, who finished my bottle of 151?

Bartender, another shot please!


Come on over, i have some Captain Morgan Special stock that is so good it will bring a tear to your eyes.

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 5:36:55 AM   
xBullx


Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		sometimes I carry a little single serving packet of mayo with me in my pocket in the event I need to fake one........the packet of sweet onions is more visually accurate, but I can use the mayo on a sandwich if need be....

Bull

< Message edited by xBullx -- 4/26/2007 5:38:46 AM >

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 6:12:47 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		i faked on a semi-regular basis with my ex.  it was the only way i could get him off me.  (sorry for the pun)

the LAST time i was with him..it was the same as usual.  kiss me a couple of minutes, make the regular 30 second breast rubbins, do a check, yep sufficiently wet to enter, lets pump away!

i'd had enough, and finally said "are you DONE yet?"  he went to sleep on the couch downstairs.  i sprawled out all over the bed, giggling to myself.

there were a lot of things that were the ending to that marriage, the sex was the least of it.  ;)

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 7:27:49 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Fast reply to no one in particular.....

This is an old thread but I'm rather glad it popped back up....lots of new opinions.

It seems that faking orgasms is a fairly common thing. Most of the reasons for doing such seem to be a tactic used to either spare the feelings of another or end an unpleasant experience.

I do see this as a dishonesty of sorts. So then is dishonesty an alright and justifiable thing if the intentions for it are well intentioned? Or if it's convenient for you? I know that many say that honesty is at the top of their list of what's important to them and I wonder if maybe this particulary type of "dishonesty" is just something that is considered to be acceptable.

I also fail to understand how conveying to a partner how one's body works in an honest manner would exclude submission. I have never been with a Dominant who did not insist on knowing "all of me" and expect nothing less than honesty.


I readily admit that I don't understand the issue well as it's not been something that I have ever had any difficulty in achieving.....so it would be very difficult for me to state exactly how I would proceed if the opposite were the case. I would think that I would wish my partner to know that for I do believe that it is a problem that could be overcome (no pun intended) in many cases, with communication, practice and knowledge.

edited to add that I think that if I were in a long term relationship with someone and I found out years into it that I was not fulfilling them in the manner that they were leading me to believe....I would be rather devastated by that knowledge.
I

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 4/26/2007 7:30:14 AM >

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 8:20:09 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Hey there mistoferin,


Regarding the dishonesty of it... hmm.  Well sure it's a dishonesty, and on some level dishonesty is 'always' bad... purism hardly ever works in reality however.

I have been thinking about this... I think in the aspect of 'sparing feelings'  on some level you learn what you have to do and what will be considered 'pleasing'.  I think every Dom will say... hey, no way do I want my sub to fake it... well... I think people say a lot of things until they are faced with months of frustration and/or failure.

For my part, the more pronouned my lack of sexual response became (by response I am saying any physical pleasure from the acts... I was always eager but, nothing came of it on my part), the more frustrated/enraged and eventually disinterested my partner became. 

I think you go through some wierd mind fucks when you feel you are a total failure as a woman, slave, pleaser, etc.  It seemed to me (and this could be total rationalization on my part) that if the duty of the slave is to be completely pleasing, I better figure out a way to do that, even if it meant putting putting on a pleasing show. 

I am not sure how much motivation plays into the rightness/wrongness of faking it.  At any rate, in the end, it brought more pleasure to him than the alternative, and I was not completely kicked out of his circle of intimacy.  Seemed like a fair trade in my own mind, but I do recognize that it is a warped trade.

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 8:23:57 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Erin part of it is that we're still not comfortable taking control of our sexuality and being fully responsible for it.  We're not at all ok teaching someone, if we've been lucky enough to even be ok exploring our own bodies.

The other part is that the other person often seriously DOES take it badly and simply reinforces the whole cycle of hiding it.

I learned the hard way, but I learned- faking in the long term does NO one any good, you either take responsibility for your own happiness and make the relationship work, or there's just not going to be a relationship at all for me.

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 8:38:21 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I would never advocate faking it rather than dealing with the underlying issue. Faking it to ensure that a temporary thing doesn't become a long term source of stress is not a bad thing. 

Some people understand that sex isn't a sporting event and that finishing isn't always the goal.  As a dominant, I have to take care of my partner who desires to ensure my pleasure.  If I have cum to many times or withheld my own orgasm for too long, it just might not happen and sometimes I don't want the focus to be on my pleasure.  It isn't something I would do long term and it isn't anything I would be doing with my partner.

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 9:30:40 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

I have to wonder though, if you have so much of your brain tied up in your attempt to be deceptive, how can you expect to let go enough to orgasm? Sex is as much, if not more, mental as it is physical. Wouldn't it be much more productive to let your mind go off into fantasy land or at the very least, use that concious effort to think about things that really get you going?


Some partners might think fantasising during sex is deceptive too.  I guess that is what I liked about discovering BDSM ...am now playing out the fantasies I use to have ... I don't have to care if he is going to be offended or freaked out by something I may suggest ...I mean I would care if he was genuinely freaked out...some guys can't handle a er forward chick and I would hope he'd talk to me about it ... but if he's not into something, then sweet as, but his reaction to it would tell me a lot so I'd know to tone it down or amp it up.  I did find interesting the posts here of the women needing a fantasy script running to get them to orgasm...thank you for sharing.  Is that for any orgasm?  Solo/toy only?  Partner only?  (Actually scrap that, I'll post a poll  ) ... I guess that is part of why a lot of us are here ... our fantasies and a way to experience them.


< Message edited by Jasmyn -- 4/26/2007 9:33:31 AM >

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 9:58:09 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		yes faking orgasms is indeed dishonesty, but certainly a justifiable one in certain situations. i would never and have never faked it with a long term partner or within a serious relationship...only with casual partners where the relationship was primarily sexual anyway. i have also never faked it with a Dominant, since i figure they will be more likely to understand that my focus is on their pleasure, not my own physical response.

as far as teaching or telling someone how one's body "works", in my case this does not take into account the fact that i am a submissive, as there simply is no blueprint or set of instructions one could follow to elicit a particular physical response in me. i'm just not wired that way. my pleasure comes solely from pleasing, which sometimes includes a physical response on my part, but often does not. it doesn't matter to me either way, since as long as i have succeeded in pleasing my partner, i will be satisfied.

unfortunately i've found that even many Dominants fail to comprehend this, they still want to see a drippy pussy, a girl writhing in passion under their touch, a sign of an orgasm, etc. but rather than fake it, i simply explain to them as simply as i can that i'm just a tool for their pleasure, and my focus is on service. most react positively to that, but a few find the idea of using a nonorgasmic/unhorny submissive too uncomfortable and they choose not to use me in the future. *shrug*


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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 10:26:08 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Ok...the thread on bad sex reminded me of my curiousity about this subject. There were several women on there who admitted to faking orgasms. Someone please enlighten me on the how and why of this phenomenon. This is not something I have ever done but I hear often of women doing it.

First of all, I do not understand why anyone would want to do this. Don't you WANT him to know that you are "not done"?


Not necessarily.  It mainly just means, "don't get me off; get off me."  Sure, you might want better sex in the long run, but it usually means not right now.  Typically it's because you just don't feel like expending the energy to fix the problem right that second.  I've done it before.  I quit faking once I married my husband.  I think it took that level of comfort with him before I could stop.  Before that I faked every orgasm I had with everyone I'd ever been with.  Scary stuff.  I couldn't dream of doing it now.  Part of me thought I was damaged because I couldn't have one, which I know is far from the truth, and I wouldn't communicate it for fear of someone finding me inadequate.  Also, keep in mind that many people have casual sex.  It's not worth teaching someone when you know it will happen two or three times, max.

The long and short of it is that people do it for different reason.  Some for inadequacy, some because they know they do it better themselves, some because they've lost interest, some because they don't know where to start fixing the problem.  There is so much more to it than wanting him to know you're not done. 

quote:

Second, how does one pull such a thing off? When I orgasm it is pretty unmistakable. Aside from the verbal, which would be pretty easy to fake I guess, how does one fake the physical aspects? The tremors? The vaginal spasms? The unmistakable "gush" of wetness? The heart pounding out of your chest?


Not everyone has that "gush".  Other than that I found it pretty easy to fake the physical aspects.  I didn't have to pull off a porn star scream, I just matched the vocals to what I would do alone.  The tremors and spasms are pretty easy to fake if you have good vaginal control.  I never had a problem with it.  And in more than half the cases I had inept partners that wouldn't have noticed a female orgasm if it smacked them in the face.

quote:

Third, are men really that dumb? Or do they just not really care? How is it possible that they would not know? Who are these men?....I can not imagine anyone I have ever been with falling for this.


Yes and no for the first two.  Some men really care.  Some men are very smart.  However, if you're not looking for it and you're with a good faker, there's really no way to notice.  If things seem to be going well, they'd be crazy to seek out problems.

It's extremely possible that men would fall for it.  It's not as easy to detect as you think, in many cases.  Every partner I've ever had "fell for it" at some point in time.  This includes my husband.  However, I was eventually honest with him and before we married we made a pact that I would never fake again.  Once I decided I would stop, I did, and the issue resolved itself.  He always gets me off, and he's the only man to ever do so.

I'm glad that you've had good lovers.  But it doesn't take a stupid man, an inept man, or an uncaring man to have a woman fake.  Sure, that happens a lot.  But intelligent, caring, skilled men fall for it, too.

The fact is, it's so easy to sit there and judge, but until you're in this kind of situation, you have no idea what it's like.  It's not so easy when you're in my shoes.

(I'm not attacking you, BTW.  I'm glad you asked.  It's easy to make the assumption you did.  The fact is that most women would kill to never have that problem.  They would love to be in your shoes.  But it's not nearly as easy as you think it is.  Most women have faked at least once.)

< Message edited by NakedOnMyChain -- 4/26/2007 10:32:42 AM >

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 11:52:39 AM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		I have never faked it, but have had some think that i came because i vocalize what i am feeling. I might tell them otherwise depending on how close the relationship is. But i must say, there are some who's egos would have been busted if i told them it didn't happen. 



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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 8:28:55 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
While I suppose it is possible to fake an orgasm.  There are muscle spasms which occur in the vagina that are involuntary during orgasm.  Telling me you had an orgasm when my fingers were inside there the whole time and, while I wont say anything, will cause me to be dubious about your truthfulness.

I can deal with the comment "I dont feel like I have the energy to orgasm" a lot better than trying to trust a partner who lies to me in bed.

I have only gotten my partner off during intercourse making use of other activities (fingers, power tools, etc) a couple of times, but since I love the hell out of going down on my partner, I figure we can each have our turn.
There is a performance anxiety aspect on trying to get my partner off while I am trying to get myself off which is a
bit unpleasant for me.

Probably sharing too much, but there you go.

Sinergy

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 8:37:23 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I had a partner tell me that she faked an orgasm....I responded that maybe she should start applauding at the end of her favorite tv show....She will have obtained the same results.

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 8:49:57 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
I have only gotten my partner off during intercourse making use of other activities (fingers, power tools, etc) a couple of times, but since I love the hell out of going down on my partner, I figure we can each have our turn.
There is a performance anxiety aspect on trying to get my partner off while I am trying to get myself off which is a
bit unpleasant for me.

Probably sharing too much, but there you go.

Sinergy


I understand exactly.  I've never like 69s too much for the same reason.  Now I've shared too much and we're even.  LOL.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

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RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 9:29:14 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		Sex works best with me, if it's slightly infrequent, and I'm highly drunk. Men sort of intimidate me sexually, on some level. I can neither confirm or deny that I've ever faked anything. I can confirm that I almost always feel like crap the next day, and blame it on sex 100% of the time.

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Faking Orgasm - 4/26/2007 11:27:44 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

Sex works best with me, if it's slightly infrequent, and I'm highly drunk. Men sort of intimidate me sexually, on some level. I can neither confirm or deny that I've ever faked anything. I can confirm that I almost always feel like crap the next day, and blame it on sex 100% of the time.


I had a friend/acquaintance who made the startling remark a few years after we had graduated from college that he had never had sex while sober....While he was kind of goofy looking and never had a girlfriend I was rather amazed, dissapointed and saddened by this comment...

Caitlyn, I hope that in time this ceases to be a trend for you.  You are missing out on some rather remarkable experiences.

This acquaintance/friend also was spending a great deal of time and money frequenting strip clubs down in Southern Illinois....When I asked him, "Dude why are you doing this?"....He stared me dead in the eye and said, "They let you eat them out."......We never spoke again.

Caitlyn you aren't hanging out in strip clubs yet are you?

< Message edited by domiguy -- 4/26/2007 11:28:31 PM >

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