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Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 4:48:19 PM   
OnlyHis


Posts: 137
Joined: 2/25/2004
Status: offline 		Today at work , on the radio, they had a question that went something like this. " What is something 87% of men do at least 16 times a year? " Now you can imagine what kind of answers some people could come up with *g*. But the answer was cry.
This began a debate about what some thought of men crying and showing such emotions. Some where I work think that men who cry are nothing but wimps and that is their own opinions which they are entitled to (even if I don't agree).So here is my question for whoever wishes to answer it.
  Is it wrong or " sissy or childish" for men to show emotions or to cry? Do you think men should always be the strong type and not show this to anyone?  Or not?  How does this make you feel if your ( for instance) Master cries at the loss of a special pet ( be that animal or sub ) , or some other personal tragedy or just watching a movie with a sad ending?

Now my own opinion.....  Men ,be they Master or Dom or sub or slave or the ordinary Joe down the street  are still human. With all the emotions we ladies have. In my eyes, and in my opinion, if a man can feel secure enough within himself to show his emotions more power to him.  If he is watching a sad movie and a tear comes to his eyes , or a friend passes away and he cries at the funeral, I can only respect that person all the more for not hiding behind the facade of being a hard ass man. 
I am not knocking men that don't cry , that is how they are.  But I see no reason why any man cannot feel that they can show what is in their hearts , or when they are hurt in some way.
What are your thoughts on this subject?  And thank you for any of your input.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 4:56:22 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I pretty much agree with everything you said.  One of the qualities that I value most in all humans is being real (not in the "weal and twue" sense, either!) and down-to-earth.  Being who they are and not pretending to be someone or something they're not.  So, if a guy cries with a real reason to cry, then I pretty much just think, "Good, he's human."

Sometimes, it can be really shocking when someone you never knew to cry cries.  I'm remembering my father, when we had to have his beloved dog put down.  I was 12...he came into my bedroom where I was hiding out and simply said, 'It's done.'  I didn't react, because I didn't want him to think I was a crybaby.  He left the room, and after a few seconds of silence, I heard him choking with sobs out in the hallway.  I wanted to go to him, but I felt at the time as though I didn't dare.  I just sat in my room, feeling shocked because DAD was crying....  Neither he nor I ever discussed it. 

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 4:56:51 PM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		Granted, I've not known a lot of people of the male persuasion that show "that" kind of emotion, but I personally think one is stronger in allowing themselves to do so at proper times.

Ones that cry (crying has many forms imo) whenever they can, are just annoying.  And it's not just men.

I've seen my father cry.  And I'm glad I did.  Gave me a reassurance that he actually is alive and has some feelings.  It was after his mother had died.

I've seen JL cry.  This was when he was relaying what had happened when his best friend Paul had died and he had to take care of everything.  Paul died long before I met JL, so for him to still be emotional about it really touched me and showed me that he has genuine feelings for people that surround him.


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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 5:00:10 PM   
instynctive


Posts: 2726
Status: offline 		It takes a big man to cry...


...but an even bigger man to laugh at the big man who is crying...


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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 5:02:28 PM   
RWAble


Posts: 282
Joined: 1/5/2007
Status: offline 		As a man, I don't cry often. But if I feel deep pain, I will cry. Especially if the pain involves one I love. When my father died, it was 2 weeks before I cried, but when it came, it was a good release.
Yesterday I cried, when I watched the death and destruction that Bush has brought upon our brave troops. I feel for all those Mothers and Fathers.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 5:08:57 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		I have no problem with someone who cries when truly touched or when I'm doing things to make him cry.  I appreciate someone who is real in his feelings.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 5:16:58 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		I think it shows you as being a human being. and will bring those who are with closer to you. there some doms who think it is a sign of weakness. to them i say live alone cause that is all you will ever be inside. Kudos to you for being real you will go far with yours...

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 5:21:03 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		I really really hate crying in front of people.  I can only imagine what I'd be like if I'd gotten the "boys don't cry" social programming to go with this... so when the men I'm with have cried with me there I've found it intensely intimate, and felt immensely trusted.  Good things both.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 5:37:47 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It really depends.  Different contexts require different behaviors and stages of openness.

Even in the scene, most people will say you shouldn't play when angry or do much of anything if you're angry.  I happen to think anger can be agreat motivator for a scene- if directed properly.

In general terms, yes, I'd like this stereotype of sissy boy vs man's man to go away and for all people to understand and NOT be ashamed of their emotions.  But not being ashamed of them doesn't give you free rein to dump them all over the place.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 5:42:51 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		I have seen tears form in my Master's eyes when He is so very touched by something that's said or done between the two of us.  It made my heart swell up with even more love for Him to know that He is sensitive to such things and not afraid to let me see it.  I only felt more respect and admiration for Him after such times.......luci

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 5:46:39 PM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		Any emotion that is human should not be questioned, as long as it doesn't harm anyone, and crying is one of them.  We all cry, and I would rather see someone cry then someone with pent up emotions.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 5:51:17 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I prefer boys who actualy show their emotions rather than bottling them up. I am often the only one who gets to see them, but I am the Mommy type who will hold and comfort my boys when their emotions get the better of them.I dont see it as a weakness, I see it as strength of character to be able to do what feels right even if it isnt the popular course. Not caring what someone else might think.

AS for me, I hate showing it. I prefer to be strong. I do cry, I do break down, but it is few andfar between.  Angel has seen it, my family has seen it, but my friends may never see it.  It doesnt make me feel better to vet in front of others, for the most part.  I feel better taking my emotions out on a dojo floor with a defenseless punching dummy.

DV


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VampiresLair

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 5:54:41 PM   
ThunderRoad


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline 		Meh.  I cry.  I cry when sad or griefstricken.  I cry when touched by a movie or tv show in some way.  I'm man enough to not feel emasculated by it.

*shrug*

Anyone who would feel I'm "less of a Dom" because of it isn't worthy of my time.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 6:10:04 PM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThunderRoad

Meh.  I cry.  I cry when sad or griefstricken.  I cry when touched by a movie or tv show in some way.  I'm man enough to not feel emasculated by it.

*shrug*

Anyone who would feel I'm "less of a Dom" because of it isn't worthy of my time.



mini hi-jack!

*pounces on TR*  Dood....the bahamas are AWESOME.  I was gone for 2 weeks.


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Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 6:22:42 PM   
SleepyBeast


Posts: 122
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		Why would it be wrong not to express emotions with tears?
I don't cry because that is not how I choose to express emotions, I don't "bottle" them up, I just don't see any value in crying.
I still have the full range of emotions, I just don't exress them as some think they should be.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 6:34:34 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		Being the Dominant party, I expect my submissive to show emotions to me.
I would not even consider a submissive that could not be vulnerable to show
me all sides of their emotions.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 7:12:12 PM   
CuriousLord


Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Some men- apparently, many- may feel the need to cry from time to time.  Some may even feel it, but try to hide it.  But I assure you, despite however unromantic you may think it to be, not all of us have a weak side that's desperately seeking the aid of a kind ear.

A man is strong, tall, handsome, rich, brilliant, highborne, healthy, loved, educated, respected.  Do you pity him?  If he cried, would you care?

Some men may need to cry sometimes.  Some men may even feel it, and some may be allowed.  But, in crying, one physically begs for compassion, even mercy.  One can no longer claim to be beyond reproach.  This one becomes "human".

Perhaps, it's a price some are willing to pay.  Compassion, understanding, and closeness- in exchange for the right to power.

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 7:18:45 PM   
rmanrr


Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings
I have cried, why not? I have cried as a child and as an adult, and even as an aging old Bear. I reiterate. Why not?


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Courage...the ability to overcome obstacles during the course.
"to be insane is to be original!"...Me

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 7:28:46 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I don't have a problem with a man who doesn't want to cry in public. But a man who never wants to cry period, or who never shares any form of emotion, that bothers me. Not being able to share your emotions is for me a sign of lacking emotional maturity. There is too much damage done internally when people bottle up all of their emotions and never share them. I also feel that with a long term partner, not sharing emotions is a form of hiding and lying, and a lack of trust.

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'cause when i look down /i just miss all the good stuff / when i look up / i just trip over things

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RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? - 8/7/2007 8:09:28 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I think if men showed their emotions more often they would have less health and mental issues. I think anyone who never shows any emotion has got severe emotional problems going on. Its only a matter of time before stress will kill you, one way or another.

~Lashra


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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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