RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite

RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (Full Version)

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Stephann -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 9:21:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I won't agrue the point that CR might be BDSM light. For some people, that might be all they want or can handle. A couple of people who responded to the OP mentioned that if it was their only exposure to the lifestyle, they would have stayed nilla, but I find that highly unlikely, since google would have turned up other sites as well. Sooner or later, everyone finds what fits them. Some are only ready for the fairy tale in the beginning, and if that works, then there's nothing wrong with that. The other mini hijack I have is that folks need to get off the pet peeve about the word "true". Briefly, thanks for the nice words on the pic everyone. Blush and all. I mentioned this to someone last night as well in private; that yes, it may be a turn off initially to newbies, but that someone who is that easily turned off by the foo foo stuff probably shouldn't stick around anyway. People with deeper, darker cravings eventually give voice to them. I think that those particular elements are what's missing from the BDSM lite approach CR assumes. On that topic, why does 'lite' have to mean 'bad?' Lots of people drink lite beer, use nutrasweet, and just writing the word 'lite' on a new product line increases it's sales. I'm not saying people who don't play heavy shouldn't play; I'm pointing out that heavy and light players deserve equal consideration. That's the light I'm trying to shine here. Redrum, Stephan

Grlwithboy -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 11:00:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I won't agrue the point that CR might be BDSM light. For some people, that might be all they want or can handle. A couple of people who responded to the OP mentioned that if it was their only exposure to the lifestyle, they would have stayed nilla, but I find that highly unlikely, since google would have turned up other sites as well. Sooner or later, everyone finds what fits them. Some are only ready for the fairy tale in the beginning, and if that works, then there's nothing wrong with that. The other mini hijack I have is that folks need to get off the pet peeve about the word "true". Briefly, thanks for the nice words on the pic everyone. Blush and all. I mentioned this to someone last night as well in private; that yes, it may be a turn off initially to newbies, but that someone who is that easily turned off by the foo foo stuff probably shouldn't stick around anyway. People with deeper, darker cravings eventually give voice to them. I think that those particular elements are what's missing from the BDSM lite approach CR assumes. On that topic, why does 'lite' have to mean 'bad?' Lots of people drink lite beer, use nutrasweet, and just writing the word 'lite' on a new product line increases it's sales. I'm not saying people who don't play heavy shouldn't play; I'm pointing out that heavy and light players deserve equal consideration. That's the light I'm trying to shine here. Redrum, Stephan There are times I play sensually or play in a romantic way. I'd say a hefty chunk of time, probably the majority of the time. I don't find that particular type of romanticism where it's at. It's nota question of "dude, you are so hardcore" it's more a question of what your notion of romantic may or may not be.

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 11:03:19 AM)
I can't remember which thread recently brought up CR, which is what I think prompted Stephan to start this one. But didn't someone state in that thread that they had met Lord Colm and jade at some event years ago? Or am I imagining things? Go ahead, you can tell me if I'm getting senile. I can take it! [sm=river.gif]

Stephann -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 11:07:37 AM)
Grl, Like minds n all. Having said that, I really am a romantic at heart (in spite of my statements on this thread.) I simply don't feel the need to identify my D/s interests within my romantic interests. Ironically, I don't particularly enjoy D/s relationships without a deep seated romantic interest; so it's not my intention to divorce the two. There's a saying about someone asking "Why so hard?" and the reply being "Why so soft?" My perspective, is that being harder enables deeper romance. I think the more common view, is that romance should and often does lead to being 'softer.' Stephan

BoiJen -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 11:15:06 AM)
I'm working on my linkage...I had a link when I turned 20 and have moved and switched machines...I'm going through my old info...to get the exact info. Being that it was a small case (local courts only for the distrcit it was involved in) it's hard to get the info. Also, being a houuseboi means I got other stuff to do that ranks a bit higher. Gimme sometime please. Thanks.

MadRabbit -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 12:05:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann (rolling up muh sleeves and ready to get dirty.) I'm all for tolerance, everybody's path is different, and there's no 'wrong' way to live your life. Having said that, I'm going to offer a critique of the ever popular newbie-site castlerealm.com The good: It describes the kinder, gentler path of BDSM. It's filled with newbie-friendly information. It's insightful into some of the most vital aspects of relationships in general, be they D/s, M/s, S&M, BDSM, and the whole alphabet soup of what we consider to be 'The Lifestyle.' The bad: It makes what WIITWD sound like fairy princesses and just plain fairy princes. So much of the focus is on how to be nice and happy with pink roses and flowers, that it clearly suggests a strong bias against anything that is louder than a tap, harder than gummie bears, or harsher than light rock (I hate Air Supply.) My biggest beef, is how the struggle is skipped over. In being overly accepting of all troubles, the Dominant is painted as smiling, chivelrous, accepting of all faults. The sub (never slave) is painted as devoted, loving, but golly sometimes i'm gonna pout and stomp my feet and you just have to deal with it. Relationships, any relationship, is simply a lot more taxing and often more nitty gritty than this. No question, no small number of people enjoy this as an ideal. I prefer to approach my M/s relationships as a contact sport. I kinda figure I'll post here every couple days with critiques of specific articles. I suspect this debate will regularly turn into a flamefest. That's cool. If you feel as excited of a chance to poke holes in the prettiest, nicest BDSM site-that-everyone-loves, then meet me here. Thanks, Darth Stephan Do I like the site? Nope Would I recommend it to someone who was looking to get a realistic and pragmatic perspective to BDSM? Nope Do I think it should be blown off the face of the Earth and never viewed by anyone? Nope. Romantic idealism is only detrimental to people who cant seperate the ideal from reality. Sure, the information in the website when I was completely new causes a few miscoceptions and got me a couple of giggles at my first BDSM munch, but at no point did I stop thinking people were anything more than people.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 1:37:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann (rolling up muh sleeves and ready to get dirty.) I'm all for tolerance, everybody's path is different, and there's no 'wrong' way to live your life. Having said that, I'm going to offer a critique of the ever popular newbie-site castlerealm.com The good: It describes the kinder, gentler path of BDSM. It's filled with newbie-friendly information. It's insightful into some of the most vital aspects of relationships in general, be they D/s, M/s, S&M, BDSM, and the whole alphabet soup of what we consider to be 'The Lifestyle.' The bad: It makes what WIITWD sound like fairy princesses and just plain fairy princes. So much of the focus is on how to be nice and happy with pink roses and flowers, that it clearly suggests a strong bias against anything that is louder than a tap, harder than gummie bears, or harsher than light rock (I hate Air Supply.) My biggest beef, is how the struggle is skipped over. In being overly accepting of all troubles, the Dominant is painted as smiling, chivelrous, accepting of all faults. The sub (never slave) is painted as devoted, loving, but golly sometimes i'm gonna pout and stomp my feet and you just have to deal with it. Relationships, any relationship, is simply a lot more taxing and often more nitty gritty than this. No question, no small number of people enjoy this as an ideal. I prefer to approach my M/s relationships as a contact sport. I kinda figure I'll post here every couple days with critiques of specific articles. I suspect this debate will regularly turn into a flamefest. That's cool. If you feel as excited of a chance to poke holes in the prettiest, nicest BDSM site-that-everyone-loves, then meet me here. Thanks, Darth Stephan Do I like the site? Nope Would I recommend it to someone who was looking to get a realistic and pragmatic perspective to BDSM? Nope Do I think it should be blown off the face of the Earth and never viewed by anyone? Nope. Romantic idealism is only detrimental to people who cant seperate the ideal from reality. Sure, the information in the website when I was completely new causes a few miscoceptions and got me a couple of giggles at my first BDSM munch, but at no point did I stop thinking people were anything more than people. wabbit stew would be very cool any how why is it people have to crush someone else vision of what they want or disire. after all it is a melting pot of peeps who make up this wingding i tell ya

Stephann -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 2:45:22 PM)
Melting Pot. Melting Kettle. Stephan

heartfeltsub -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 3:06:04 PM)
Nyah, the melting pot is a really cool but fairly expensive fondue place.

salilus -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 3:20:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petdave If everyone who created a false persona on the internet got sued the courts would have to run 'round-the-clock... you need damages to sue, and i can't imagine what they might be. Sounds like an empty rumor to me. Those pesky intarweb lawers can do NEthing.

Politesub53 -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 3:44:47 PM)
Castlerealm was useful as it gave me a starting point as to what bdsm was about. Just the same as any website or book on any subject, it`s usefull to read more than one to get a wider perspective. Something else to remember is that for some people, how CR states it is exactly what they are looking for. Mostly though, it`s another learning tool. [;)]

SusanofO -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 3:50:26 PM)
I think CastleRealm is kind of "BDSM Lite", too -But - it is full of some really instructive information about BDSM (as the OP mentioned). But - I am a somewhat voracious reader of BDSM-types of websites, so I did discover rather early on, that there were "rougher" and also just plain many more variations of BDSM activity than what was portrayed there at CastleRealm. For anyone who is relying on that site to the exclusion of all others (or any other information) even after they've ceased to be a "Newbie" well - I think they could un-intentionally perhaps be limiting themselves. - Susan

e01n -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 4:49:26 PM)
One of the first sites I went to when trying to figure out what my seeming malfunction (to the 'nilla world) between my legs was all about was CR. And it hasn't really changed that much since I was last there. It's a useful collection of articles - I can send someone there for a bit of background info without much fear of them squicking out on more extreme stuff than they're ready for. It can also give a good working knowledge of things as well, just enough to say "I've heard of that" and learn more elsewhere. But if the site hasn't really changed since 1999 (which it says on some parts of it), how accurate is it? For some things, fairly so - there are some constants. But quite a bit is long out of date. My $0.02

Petronius -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 5:22:26 PM)
I've read the thread with great interest and genuine wonderment about how long people have remained on topic. Thanks all for what is sadly a too rare experience! A number of pro-CR people have pointed out that CR is basically for beginners. I agree. But beginners still need accurate information, not fluff. Take sex education, for example. You need not start children out with the Kinsey Report or various books by Masters and Johnson. But you wouldn't start them either with "And then Mommy and Daddy fall in love and tell God so God sends a stork down with a diamond and the stork puts the diamond in a cabbage patch and the diamond grows into a baby." Let me again repeat that beginners especially need accurate information. Giving them bullshit on the grounds that they're beginners does more harm than good. There's nothing wrong with having a site dedicated to beginners ... but CR ain't it. Or isn't a very good site for them.

MadRabbit -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 5:22:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 wabbit stew would be very cool Thats it. These forums need to be shut down. This bigotry and promotion of genocide towards rabbits everywhere must end! SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT DOWN NOW!!

aSlavesLife -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 5:36:29 PM)
I've read through this thread, and am shocked to discover that there is a site that is lighter and fluffier than CM. I didn't think it was possible, and am afraid to look at CR for fear of turning into a pillar of saccharin. Owner of slave L

kyraofMists -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 5:41:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit Thats it. These forums need to be shut down. This bigotry and promotion of genocide towards rabbits everywhere must end! SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT DOWN NOW!! You know, behind my Lord's new house is a bunch of rabbits running around, so we already have the meat for our very special MadRabbit stew g Knight's Kyra

MasterMike04103 -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 5:44:35 PM)
Personally, I didn't get CR til far after I started my journy of education, but I do apreciate the kid gloved aproach it takes when discribing how we live to some aspects... I remember the first website I went to was The Bondage Resource Center aka thebrc dot org and read all the articals on here, I was amazed, and slightly turned on to know that others liked WIITWD.

dawntreader -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 5:46:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit quote: ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64 wabbit stew would be very cool Thats it. These forums need to be shut down. This bigotry and promotion of genocide towards rabbits everywhere must end! SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT DOWN NOW!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a rabbit owner myself, i concur with MadRabbit!

KnightofMists -> RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite (8/9/2007 5:58:16 PM)
Down on your luck? Do you need to improve your chances? Well Now! Do I have a Deal for you! Get your very own personal Mad Rabbit foot! I am selling them for a reasonable price!

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