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Domination for money - 8/8/2007 11:21:51 PM

subspoon

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/14/2006
Status: offline

First let med say that i have no moral issues regarding charging and paying for "domiation services". I would never do it myself. This is for two reasons: (1) i would feel like a pathetic loser, (2) i _chose_ to consider inter-human relations as something too sacred to be a subject for money. While underlining "chose" i try to communicate thata this is not a moral or ethical question, it is just a choice i have made of functional reasons, and that functional reason is merely that it feels good to believe in inter-himan relations as something sacred.

But again, that is just the way i feel. And if someone else feels differently, and therefore acts differently, i do not heep on them for that.

My main issue is that sometimes it feels like the majority of the profiles from women are offers to dominate for money. And it actually takes a lot of time to sort them out, because a lot of the time the paying issue isn't mentioned until last of the profile text. I think it would be a good idea to have a tick-off box "Service for money" or something like that, so that we do not have to read so many profiles that are uninteressting in the end.

Post #: 1

RE: Domination for money - 8/8/2007 11:29:24 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Unfortunately, I can't dom women for money because I'd end up in Hillary Clinton's little black book, and I just can't get involved in politics.

High-profile career and all that.

(in reply to subspoon)

Post #: 2

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 12:03:36 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subspoon

My main issue is that sometimes it feels like the majority of the profiles from women are offers to dominate for money. And it actually takes a lot of time to sort them out, because a lot of the time the paying issue isn't mentioned until last of the profile text. I think it would be a good idea to have a tick-off box "Service for money" or something like that, so that we do not have to read so many profiles that are uninteressting in the end.

i'll sort em out for you, for say........thirty bucks an hour.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to subspoon)

Post #: 3

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 12:13:20 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

You're right it's not a moral issue. It's a matter of getting needs met. Most of the guys who can afford a ProDOmme aren't losers...they prolly make more than most of the people do on average...as that stuff ain't cheap.

Domination finacially occurs in living situation anyways...cuz the bills gotta get paid. Pro sessions actually tend to be cheaper than doing this BDSM thing full time. And I got no idea why there's no "Pro" listing for people to put themselves under.

All I know is that I was told to tell them no sex and to give them the rates after I do the interviewing...which means it's about Her dominating them not them trying to manipulate the situation....She makes the decisions I just follow the and enforce the orders.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 4

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 12:48:33 AM

Texy

Posts: 45
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline

To the OP,

I agree with your idea of having a checkbox or separate category for pros. It sure would have saved me hours of search when I was looking for a pro.

I went to a pro domme for my first experience for several reasons: 1) to know I could be restrained, flogged, hit without freaking out 2) to know that this was not a passing fad and that I enjoyed it 3) I thought I was being responsible for my path by not involving someone else and their emotions by my being unsure about my desires to actively pursue this further. Paying a pro, from my personal experience, was the only way to go to get those answers met quickly without causing harm to myself or anyone else.

Thanks,

gayle

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 5

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 12:58:08 AM

Bishonenjim

Posts: 33
Joined: 6/3/2007
Status: offline

Just read till you see Pro, Generious, Tribute, or money/financial-slave. It's usually in one of the first few lines. Unless, you're browsing nationally it's not such an overwhelming number of profiles that would cause it to be time consuming. Then again it would make the site more robust having such a filtering feature (assuming people would use it).

(in reply to Texy)

Post #: 6

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 2:09:16 AM

MsSophie

Posts: 142
Joined: 3/26/2006
From: Stockholm, Sweden
Status: offline

I think it's an excellent idea to allow people to tick a little box clarifying that they are willing to play for money! It easilly allows all parties to play with open cards.

_____________________________

My site: http://www.euro-kink.com

(in reply to Bishonenjim)

Post #: 7

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 3:24:55 AM

unbroken33

Posts: 56
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

i like the idea of a checkbox. i'll take it one further--a separate search, or a directory...wait a minute... http://www.maxfisch.com

The pros gotta make a living too. i've been to a few, and i must admit the ones i've seen are exceptionally good at what they do. The prices keep going up, though, and frankly it feels like hell when they end after one or two hours--whatever you paid for--and show you the door. Theres a lack of connection, the fact that you don't get to truly serve at all and the fact that if you run out of money that person will never see you again... That said it's one good option for married folks, but their prices do tend to limit a married persons ability to see them--money going missing in $250 - $400 increments gets noticed awfully fast.

There are so many domination directories out there for pro-Domimatixes. Having a free one here wouldn't hurt, but if i want to see a listing of pros my first stop is the site i provided above--it's currently the best for that.

_____________________________

Please, no more serial killers.

(in reply to subspoon)

Post #: 8

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 6:04:32 AM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

So we believe that CM should ammend the TOS; allow those who charge to tick a box saying so and when we search, we can choose to tick the same box for searching? I think this is what I'm reading, yes?

If you could check the box that says "Does not Charge" how many people will leave it unchecked and allow those dominants to come up in their searching? Few, I'd imagine.

I'm not a pro, I've never charged, hell, I barely like getting a gift over $50 from my slaves because I don't want anyone to feel I'm taking advantage of em. Over the years my outlook on pros has changed. I used to think it was the most horrible thing out there. Then, many years ago, I got in a situation where money was very tight. I considered charging. I didn't but I did consider it carefully. I chose not to, not because I was squicked out by it, but because for me it's a personal thing. I need to click with my partner on some level beyond "do me". In my self evaluation I realized who cares if others charge? There are plenty of subs to go around that's for sure.

If she wants to charge and he wants to pay, who the hell is it hurting? Not me. I will not run out of "sub wannas" cause the pros got em all, I'm sure. I do wonder though, if more people would skip over those ladies were there a tick box to stop seeing them and they'd find no one.

So my question to those of you who think we should have that tick box...we should have a tick box for my red hair? Maybe there is a group that doesn't like that? How about a tick box cause I have UMs and a husband? I guarantee TONS of males pass me by because of those tidbits. Maybe a tick box for anyone under 120 lbs and one for anyone over 200. That way those with weight requirements can find exactly what they want.

The more modifiers one ticks the more one limits himself and he may as well go live in a cave alone. I say leave the pros to do their thing. If you come across em, and don't like em, move on...just like you do me when you see I have a husband or red hair.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 9

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 9:31:29 AM

fungasm

Posts: 321
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline

My two pennies...

I didn't find this place until recently- but I would never have posted here to find clients when I was a fetish provider. (I never really considered myself a pro-dom or pro-sub; but someone who explored the realm as I wished.)  I used Craigslist, MyRedbook, etc. This isn't the place for finding people. (And seriously, if you want a PRO-domme, think Max Fisch baby.)

However, now I am seeking a partner. I want someone who gets me, all of me. I know I'm not going to find that in a bookstore. I've had a decade of trying to find kinky folks randomly to try and do it anymore by chance. I'm hoping to never be staring at a beautiful brilliant human and have him say "You want to do WHAT with a strap on?" or meeting someone with delicate hints, only to have your date say loudly at a fancy restaurant "Say something kinky, would ja?" Freaking out the mundanes does nothing for me anymore.   I've connected to people here already, and I have hope that I might have actually found humans as kinky as I am... (crosses fingers).

I happen to also do something wicked for a living- and I'd love to talk to people about it here.. I'm still figuring out that one. (I've been chided before- so I won't even mention what I do- I'll say there is more information on the professional forum on this board.)    I'd love to talk to folks about what I do- and get feedback about things like props, partners, kink language, and more. I am rather isolated- so while I talk with a lot of subs every day, I don't get as much equal energy from people who would understand... and I miss that.

I don't think check boxes work. At least not for me. If you are a switch, I want to talk to you and explore meeting and more. If you are a domme, I flirt or I may love your poetry and delight in talking about constructs. If you are sub, though, than I don't want your service unless it's part of mine. I'm clear about that on my profile... I'm sorry it's on the bottom- but the top is for the things I want, like a relationship of equality.

Alison

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 10

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 9:55:09 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subspoon

First let med say that i have no moral issues regarding charging and paying for "domiation services". I would never do it myself. This is for two reasons: (1) i would feel like a pathetic loser, (2) i _chose_ to consider inter-human relations as something too sacred to be a subject for money. While underlining "chose" i try to communicate thata this is not a moral or ethical question, it is just a choice i have made of functional reasons, and that functional reason is merely that it feels good to believe in inter-himan relations as something sacred.

But again, that is just the way i feel. And if someone else feels differently, and therefore acts differently, i do not heep on them for that.

My main issue is that sometimes it feels like the majority of the profiles from women are offers to dominate for money. And it actually takes a lot of time to sort them out, because a lot of the time the paying issue isn't mentioned until last of the profile text. I think it would be a good idea to have a tick-off box "Service for money" or something like that, so that we do not have to read so many profiles that are uninteressting in the end.

I applaud you for standing up for things like this.. I always hear the word needs or me or my.. it is like those with no self control or people who need a pill or something to fix something.. we are suppose to have a brain for higher thinking and self control... I read about some of these things and they sound worse then some junkies on the street. I can not help my self or i have a need so i have to pay for my fix lol. shrugs you know when you look at things like a coin.. life becomse a lot easier to make good chocies.. I guess what it comes down to.. what is really more important..wants verse needs thats for another thread.. good post

(in reply to subspoon)

Post #: 11

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 10:13:27 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

I know from experience that there are some male submissives who live vanilla lifestyles who do not have the luxury of attending munches and play parties or seeking offline/real time power exchanges. They have certain fetishes and desires that are not met in their personal relationships but this does not diminish the value of that relationship to them. They have no desire to leave their spouse and hook up with the Mistress of their dreams. Or even if they did, they choose to honor their families and their lives. These individuals have few options. Ignore the gnawing need until it becomes a dangerous obsession, or indulge it discreetly. For these particular individuals, a Professional Domme offers them an outlet that is otherwise not available to them. Most live very high profile, professional lives and all they want is an hour once a week, once a month or once a year to surrender to those fetishes that plague them. I'm sure many would like more but like someone already said, that stuff ain't cheap.

I'm neither condoning nor condemning these individuas. I'm just recalling my personal exeriences in this regard.

Another button to option to categorize things a bit more would be nice, or a better search engine with options would be fabulous.

And guys, I'm not soliciting here on this string! I adore email, love the attention and enjoy responding back, but I'm not posting this looking for Tribute.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 12

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 10:15:13 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I am at the risk of being flamed, ( I can handle it btw)--post another side--a single mother finds a way to make a livig to keep the social system wolves from the door and still maintains some dignity versus the streets--a man finds a way to scratch an itch and keep his marriage intact--many wives do not see a Pro as cheating--we are driven as humans by things no other person can imagine or understand or feel. It seems Pros only bother those that dont use them, like liquor stores bother the teatoller---no one forces you to go in.

I like the idea of the checkbox, if the Pro is coming here to seek clients or vice versa.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 8/9/2007 10:43:17 AM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 13

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 10:38:51 AM

Damocles809

Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline

Sounds like a good idea. It would save people a lot of time. And we'd probably see fewer rants from disgruntled subs.

(in reply to subspoon)

Post #: 14

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 11:04:50 AM

ChainsandFreedom

Posts: 222
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

yeah. a button to say you're looking for tribute would be nice.
Hard as it is for some to believe, this is basically a personals site and some domme's actually are here because they like the lifestyle/relationships, not because of money. just because male subs like abuse and humiliation doesnt necessarily mean we get off on women who can't prioritize what their looking for on their lengthy profile.

Either a button or much clearer links to the sites which are all about that - im sure pro's post here because it works, but im sure that most paying-people would use maxfische and whatnot if they knew about them. Just feel like it cheapens the lifestyle, seeing that so many of the women wouldnt be doing it if not for the money.

I'm not inherently anti-pro, but I do have trouble taking some of them seriously-how much of a position of power can you really be in when your at the mercy of a supposed inferior's wallet? wouldnt real authority come from generating your own means? if you search the profiles long enough (especially younger ones) you're going to find some which really look like the only dominate thing about the women is the fact they like the idea of charging for it.

(in reply to Damocles809)

Post #: 15

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 11:10:51 AM

LdyScarletDomina

Posts: 118
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

I'm sure my opinion will be unpopular as well.

Currently I am on collarme seeking a personal 24/7 slave.

In the past I have been both a Pro and a lifestyle Domme. Different needs are filled by each for both the submissive and the Domme. MHOO314 nailed my past situations very sucinctly, it is an opportunity to make money in a way that I can provide as a single parent and - being realistic - it fills a need. If there wasn't a need for Pro-Domme's, there wouldn't be such a market for it.

I do keep a notice in my journal that the only online training that interests me must have a form of tribute. But I HATE online domination, so it seems fair that if I am spending my time I should be re-imbursted for it. there have also been the times that I have emphatically NOT been interested in a personal relationship with a submissive that would not take no for an answer. In that case, I have said I would take that person as a tribute submissive and they were happy.

But for the most part, IMHO if something - Golden showers, caning, electric play, fire play, diaper play, pro-dommes - isn't for you, you have the absolutely wonderful right in this lifestyle to go "hmm, nope, not my thing." and move on. The number one reason I LOVE this lifestyle is that as long as its consentual, there is the universal concept of "accept even if you don't understand". or at least there was when I first came into BDSM. My Mentor told me - if you cannot be tolerant, BDSM is not the place for you.

One more quick ps. Collar me DOES have a place where professionals can advertise. Its on the message boards under professional services.

Lady Scarlet

< Message edited by LdyScarletDomina -- 8/9/2007 11:13:07 AM >

_____________________________

"Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar." Scarlet O'Hara, Gone With The Wind

(in reply to Damocles809)

Post #: 16

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 11:16:45 AM

smoothcoco

Posts: 16
Joined: 7/25/2007
Status: offline

Why not a book store?? one of my last Fem Dom's picked me out of a Barnes and Noble... it can happen

quote:

ORIGINAL: fungasm

My two pennies...

I didn't find this place until recently- but I would never have posted here to find clients when I was a fetish provider. (I never really considered myself a pro-dom or pro-sub; but someone who explored the realm as I wished.)  I used Craigslist, MyRedbook, etc. This isn't the place for finding people. (And seriously, if you want a PRO-domme, think Max Fisch baby.)

However, now I am seeking a partner. I want someone who gets me, all of me. I know I'm not going to find that in a bookstore. I've had a decade of trying to find kinky folks randomly to try and do it anymore by chance. I'm hoping to never be staring at a beautiful brilliant human and have him say "You want to do WHAT with a strap on?" or meeting someone with delicate hints, only to have your date say loudly at a fancy restaurant "Say something kinky, would ja?" Freaking out the mundanes does nothing for me anymore.   I've connected to people here already, and I have hope that I might have actually found humans as kinky as I am... (crosses fingers).

I happen to also do something wicked for a living- and I'd love to talk to people about it here.. I'm still figuring out that one. (I've been chided before- so I won't even mention what I do- I'll say there is more information on the professional forum on this board.)    I'd love to talk to folks about what I do- and get feedback about things like props, partners, kink language, and more. I am rather isolated- so while I talk with a lot of subs every day, I don't get as much equal energy from people who would understand... and I miss that.

I don't think check boxes work. At least not for me. If you are a switch, I want to talk to you and explore meeting and more. If you are a domme, I flirt or I may love your poetry and delight in talking about constructs. If you are sub, though, than I don't want your service unless it's part of mine. I'm clear about that on my profile... I'm sorry it's on the bottom- but the top is for the things I want, like a relationship of equality.

Alison

(in reply to fungasm)

Post #: 17

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 11:20:32 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

Prices go up because of the economy. no other reason. Life sucks. And if it's true service you're interested in say something. There PLENTY of women willing to allow you to do something extra if you want to continue to pay them. I find mostly when speaking with the Lady in Charge She doesn't like allowing clients to clean because then that takes extra time for Her or myself to teach them how to do it properly (the way She likes it.) And as She puts it...why do that when She's already got me?

(in reply to Damocles809)

Post #: 18

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 11:36:33 AM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

earthycouple: The difference is, there is a "tick box" for weight... you can limit searches by weight, height, age, location, photo, etcetera. I don't necessarily agree there's a need for a "Pro" option (which might be because I only search for submissives and it's rarely an issue that way), but I don't see how it would hurt anything. Just my couple cents, though.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to earthycouple)

Post #: 19

RE: Domination for money - 8/9/2007 11:47:18 AM

fungasm

Posts: 321
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smoothcoco

Why not a book store?? one of my last Fem Dom's picked me out of a Barnes and Noble... it can happen

Than you were very lucky. Statistically speaking, it's a challenge. It's possible that 1 out of a 100 times that I could walk up to someone and determine that they are: single, straight, interested in a monogamous relationship, interested in a relationship which includes physical acts that only 12% of the population participate in, not to mention all the other important things such as chemistry/compatibility, mentally refreshing, and vaguely interested in anything else I share. Even if there was a chance in a 100 that this could work, the other 99 conversations, the ones where I would feel like a perverted freak, would suck- and not in the happy wet way. Did I mention I live in a rural red state?

(in reply to smoothcoco)

Post #: 20

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