quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy

Jeez H I have to agree with Michael again, whether it's someone you and yours know or not. Holy cow, I don't see femsubs expected to be motivated by this saintlike abdication of any and all desire. Wow.

Personally I like when someone wants SOMETHING. I don't think I want a Buddhist monk as a pet. Call me a big fluffy service top and roll me in sugar, but mutually fulfilling "I'll be bitchy to you" doesn't seem like a crappy afternoon.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy

Jeez H I have to agree with Michael again, whether it's someone you and yours know or not. Holy cow, I don't see femsubs expected to be motivated by this saintlike abdication of any and all desire. Wow.

Personally I like when someone wants SOMETHING. I don't think I want a Buddhist monk as a pet. Call me a big fluffy service top and roll me in sugar, but mutually fulfilling "I'll be bitchy to you" doesn't seem like a crappy afternoon.

I agree with you, and I think his expectations are reasonable with regards to wanting someone attractive (call me shallow, but I do too). Where I think the disconnect is though is the idea, perhaps, that "merely being bitchy" is easy for a dominant woman.  I wrote a few articles on this once, trying to explain to submissive men that dominance requires energy.  It requires energy even for those of us that *love* it.  Channeling that energy into demeanor, body language, attitude and language, to create a feel or ambience, is *very* draining.  Even for a sadist. 

Essentially he is asking for service submission in exchange for topping, and I believe he feels since the topping does not require physical energy (ie whipping, spanking, fucking with a strap on, binding) it must be "easy."  It's not.  If anything, it's often *more* draining because you must maintain that control with mere words, looks, demeanor. 

Sure, a femdom doesn't have to be "super sweet" and say please and thank you to tasks, but requiring her to be anything beyond her normal demeanor (unless it is absolute *indifference*, but I bet that would not cut it) requires thought, time and energy.  It's a big investment for someone who does not want to give back in terms of a relationship.

See, that's the rub. Now if he had a *girlfriend* that "got him," she could probably do this as a roleplay now and then.  But I have a suspicion he wants someone more removed to make it work for him, and that the intimacy (love, affection, tenderness) shared with a girlfriend during  "downtime" would ruin it.  That's why it almost seems that a pro is the way to go.

Or, my other suggestion, which I am serious about -- date out of his league, and much younger (immaturity) and he will be treated that way.

Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: housebitch

And yes, i'm a little picky about who i serve. Again, i know people are going to blast me and say if i was truly a sub i would serve any and all women w/o question. but i'm sorry, i truly want to be attracted to the woman that i serve and have her treat me like a servant in the process.  And i do tend to be attracted to more vanilla-looking women.

my bottom-line question is:  Can it be that difficult for a decent-looking, otherwise 'normal' guy to find an attractive, businesswoman-type to serve as a general servant and have her be a little selfish and demeaning toward him?  They just always seem to think i must be nuts or if they do meet me, they are too 'nice' to me and want to date me. 

and i'm not really looking to 'date' the person and break them into this idea gently- i would like a 24/7 (on the weekends) servitude arrangement w/o an emotioonal connection rite out of the gate- i dont want to be anything to them but a pathetic, lowly servant.  i just have found that it is better to seperate the personal connection from the arrangemnt i am seeking, basically because i find it difficult to ask the woman that you are falling in love with to suddenly 'treat me like shit'.  it just is too contradictory to a loving relationship- but that's a whole 'nother thread...   :-)

Your suggestions are appreciated.  Thank you.

Oh well, don't let people here scare you away...it is just the heat

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader



Greetings housebitch,
Coming from the same side of the kneel but different orientation, i don't think i can offer you much, even advicewise. i am a bit surprised at some of the hostility expressed in this thread but as it was 102 degrees in the shade here - i will blame it on the heat.
 
You are certainly a beautiful man and you write a great story. And since it is your fantasy, i hope it comes true for you There is nothing wrong with being picky, and there is no such thing as a "true" sub except a submissive that is true to her/him self. And no, you don't need to be submissive to all women and certainly not w/o question.
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: housebitch

And yes, i'm a little picky about who i serve. Again, i know people are going to blast me and say if i was truly a sub i would serve any and all women w/o question. but i'm sorry, i truly want to be attracted to the woman that i serve and have her treat me like a servant in the process.  And i do tend to be attracted to more vanilla-looking women.

my bottom-line question is:  Can it be that difficult for a decent-looking, otherwise 'normal' guy to find an attractive, businesswoman-type to serve as a general servant and have her be a little selfish and demeaning toward him?  They just always seem to think i must be nuts or if they do meet me, they are too 'nice' to me and want to date me. 

and i'm not really looking to 'date' the person and break them into this idea gently- i would like a 24/7 (on the weekends) servitude arrangement w/o an emotioonal connection rite out of the gate- i dont want to be anything to them but a pathetic, lowly servant.  i just have found that it is better to seperate the personal connection from the arrangemnt i am seeking, basically because i find it difficult to ask the woman that you are falling in love with to suddenly 'treat me like shit'.  it just is too contradictory to a loving relationship- but that's a whole 'nother thread...   :-)

Your suggestions are appreciated.  Thank you.

Yes, it will be difficult for you to find what you desire, but if it is important to you, you will keep looking.
 
i can certainly see why women would want to date you and you are a bodyworshippers dream come true...i can't even think of those pointy toed pumps kicking your jewels without wincing!
 
Oh well, don't let people here scare you away...it is just the heat
 
j

quote:



And as for the paris hilton comment- that would actually be perfect!    ;-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: housebitch

The only thing i am looking for in return is for the woman (women? if it is a roomate situation, etc.) to treat me poorly and be condescending/arrogant toward me in the process of my servitude.  In other words, i want them to treat me like a servant or 'lower class' person should be treated. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Upon further reflection, I think another problem here might be how he defines "a little selfish and demeaning."  Many dominant women don't have much trouble pulling this off in the spirit of "play" - but after looking at his profile, I think he's looking for a little bit more intensity with and verbal, (subtle) public humiliation, etc.  I envision a day at the mall with him would be her dressed smoking hot, with him having to trail behind a few steps, carry her bags, constantly be berated and called "idiot" in clear earshot of other attractive shoppers (who would look and smirk), her telling pretty sales girls, "He's cute but not too smart," dropping her keys and things and making him bend down to pick them up, only to step on his hand and make pouty faces at him when he winced, snapping her fingers rudely to get him to walk over, shoving things into his arms and saying "carry these, mule,"  etc.  I mean I can think of lots of things - the entire point is that he's a useless mantoy following her like a puppy and she's hot, she knows it, and she's going to verbally jab him at any given time.

I see a lot of women treat their husbands this way actually :)  Sadly, it's NOT roleplay.

Akasha

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ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Upon further reflection, I think another problem here might be how he defines "a little selfish and demeaning."  Many dominant women don't have much trouble pulling this off in the spirit of "play" - but after looking at his profile, I think he's looking for a little bit more intensity with and verbal, (subtle) public humiliation, etc.  I envision a day at the mall with him would be her dressed smoking hot, with him having to trail behind a few steps, carry her bags, constantly be berated and called "idiot" in clear earshot of other attractive shoppers (who would look and smirk), her telling pretty sales girls, "He's cute but not too smart," dropping her keys and things and making him bend down to pick them up, only to step on his hand and make pouty faces at him when he winced, snapping her fingers rudely to get him to walk over, shoving things into his arms and saying "carry these, mule,"  etc.  I mean I can think of lots of things - the entire point is that he's a useless mantoy following her like a puppy and she's hot, she knows it, and she's going to verbally jab him at any given time.

I see a lot of women treat their husbands this way actually :)  Sadly, it's NOT roleplay.

Akasha

Greetings Akasha,
 
Something i have never understood in the male submissive is the desire for humiliation. 
The scene you describe above makes me sad ~  

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy


This can be its own thread, but suffice it to say that for a lot of men humiliation brings balance, and humiliation brings a sense of worth that is NOT dependent on success, attractiveness, intellect, etc. If I still value someone enough to put energy and time into someone who is being my pig, it means that there's some essential good in them that can't be stripped when you take away all status. My take on it anyway, or a tenth of it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Rather than attack the poor guy, why not give him suggestions