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callioperoseblue -> RE: Why So Many Chubby Subbies? (8/11/2007 11:03:09 AM)
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I didn't read the OP as a complaint. Just a question. Perhaps we don't talk about why there are so many (insert adjective) men on the site, but I have certainly wondered about a seeming preponderance of any one kind, male or female, including "chubby subbies" and I have a few theories. I doubt any one of them is actually hitting the nail on the head. Rather, I think it's a little bit of everything. This is, of course, assuming you accept the notion that there are more overweight people in bdsm than there are on "regular" sites. I'd be interested in hearing y'all's thoughts. Oh, and in preparation for the flames, I am not complaining, I am not judging, and I am a big girl myself. It's simply a thought.
1. Being large is still not socially accepted in many areas. In general, BDSM is much less judgemental about people's looks and desires. Yes, I've had bad experiences and people being rude about the way I look, but in general, I find men in BDSM are more accepting of different sizes and looks and the ones who are not can be honest and polite about it...communicating that while they are not personally attracted they still see me as a person. My experiences on vanilla sites are vastly different. Perhaps larger women find they are more accepted and do not need to hide here. There are just as many if not more in the vanilla world....they just hide more.
2. Are larger women more hedonistic and, therefore, more willing to explore physical sensations? If I am unwilling to curb my eating for social moires...why curb my sexual appetite?
3. Are some people large because of the oft-touted "emotional eating?" I know I've certainly suppressed my darker desires and am enjoying finally letting them free in my exploration of bdsm. An argument could be made that some people use food as a substitute for some other emotion....suppressing submissive tendencies = eating to fulfill the void?
Just some theories. Personally, I think all three apply to me in some way. The reality is though that I was not attracted to BDSM because I'm overweight. I am not overweight because I'm attracted to BDSM. I think they are two different parts of my existence and experience that happen to coincide.
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