RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (Full Version)

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AAkasha -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:18:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifeAdventurer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy

I do practise FinDom. I've been lifestyle, professional, and lifestyle. I don't use CM as anything other than a way to make personal play contacts and participate on boards.

FinDom is a logical outcropping, to me, of the kind of humiliation and psychological play interests I have. Why is it OK that everyone plays to the gender/power question but the minute someone plays to the class/money/power question she's ruining the scene?


"FinDom"    [sm=smile.gif]   Excuse me for at first thinking You had misspelled FemDom.  It strikes me as signifigant that this practice now has its own quick abbreviation.

I can understand some "playing the class/money/power" aspect.   But when almost all new young female players are requesting a tribute up front before becoming acquainted, isn't this more a career choice than an honest celebration of empowerment?


There would not be so many women if there were not so many desperate men willing to do it. Perhaps take the issue up with folks of your same gender?

In my experiences on the other side here when I tell a man I am not interested about a third want to come back and offer money or some gift or something to get me to reconisder, and I know they are doing it with every female entity they approach. It's desperate and it's sad.  The women are flocking to take advantage because the men are willing to pay.

Why are they young and cute?  Because the fat and ugly women can't demand as much money? You do the math. Also, I would be willing to bet a lot of those profiles are not who they say they are, and even men are posting pics of women and demanding tribute.

I am the first to admit, and have said it many times, I have no problem with the financial side of kink; it's not my gig, I feel empowered being the one that makes the money (I work, my husband does not), and I am *very* into the idea of paying a male sub for services. If only the market were reversed. In fact, in many ways, I would prefer that, when I am in a mood where I just want me "fix" and want to avoid the complications of a man wanting more in return than I am comfortable giving. 

Supply and demand.

Akasha




earthycouple -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:20:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifeAdventurer

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

what if they have?  What's it to you?


Well, for one thing, this site does not represent itself as just another gateway to pro dommes.  More importantly, if you are a true lifestyle dominant, then the more important question might be what does this new flood mean to you?    ;~)


"true", eh?  I wish you even more luck now.  What does it mean to me?  I don't want subs who choose to build a financial relationship.  So it means nothing to me.  I want someone who's looking for the ying to my yang not those who need or want to pay for services. 



WyckedIndulgence -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:22:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifeAdventurer

If I offered You a yummy ice cream cone, You'd smile with happiness until I mentioned I needed a buck fifthy first for it.



This is where the recipient of said cone has the option of accepting the offer as it is given or refusing with a simple, thanks but it's not my flavor. The reality is... we all have the right to make our own choices and paying tribute is no different, even if the money aspect isn't presented right up front which doesn't seem to be the norm in most cases. 



LifeAdventurer -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:27:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyckedIndulgence
What needs to be remembered here is, those who pay tribute have made the conscious choice to do so. Ours is not to question why but to respect that individual's choice, for it must satisfy some want, need or desire that perhaps cannot be satisfied any other way.

 
Agreed.  I just had no idea there were men seeking this outside a more substantial relationship.  Indeed, to each their own.  But I doubt there are as many men into this as there now are "Financial Dommes" wanting money up front.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyckedIndulgence
On the otherhand, there are those for whom it is a fetish like any other and obviously prefer to be dominated this way. Those who require tribute as pro dommes are simply providing a service much like any profession and most certainly should be compensated for it.


True.  But aren't there sites aimed at providing professional dommes for those seeking them?   My original impression was that this site is for those seeking others with similar lifestyle interests?   

Wouldn't this site lose such a purpose if it becomes known mostly as a pro connection?   How many more pro listing sites are really needed?  I think a lifestyle site such as this is much more needed. 




LifeAdventurer -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:36:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifeAdventurer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy

I do practise FinDom. I've been lifestyle, professional, and lifestyle. I don't use CM as anything other than a way to make personal play contacts and participate on boards.

FinDom is a logical outcropping, to me, of the kind of humiliation and psychological play interests I have. Why is it OK that everyone plays to the gender/power question but the minute someone plays to the class/money/power question she's ruining the scene?


"FinDom"    [sm=smile.gif]   Excuse me for at first thinking You had misspelled FemDom.  It strikes me as signifigant that this practice now has its own quick abbreviation.

I can understand some "playing the class/money/power" aspect.   But when almost all new young female players are requesting a tribute up front before becoming acquainted, isn't this more a career choice than an honest celebration of empowerment?


There would not be so many women if there were not so many desperate men willing to do it. Perhaps take the issue up with folks of your same gender?

In my experiences on the other side here when I tell a man I am not interested about a third want to come back and offer money or some gift or something to get me to reconisder, and I know they are doing it with every female entity they approach. It's desperate and it's sad.  The women are flocking to take advantage because the men are willing to pay.

Why are they young and cute?  Because the fat and ugly women can't demand as much money? You do the math. Also, I would be willing to bet a lot of those profiles are not who they say they are, and even men are posting pics of women and demanding tribute.

I am the first to admit, and have said it many times, I have no problem with the financial side of kink; it's not my gig, I feel empowered being the one that makes the money (I work, my husband does not), and I am *very* into the idea of paying a male sub for services. If only the market were reversed. In fact, in many ways, I would prefer that, when I am in a mood where I just want me "fix" and want to avoid the complications of a man wanting more in return than I am comfortable giving. 

Supply and demand.

Akasha


Your points are well made.   It is sad there are evidently so many desperate males out there. 

It's a real tribute to Yourself that men won't easily give up on You when You aren't interested.  Clearly, those guys would be better off going to pro sites.





earthycouple -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:38:28 PM)

not when they can find pros on free sites. Sounds like a win/win to me for those guys.



AAkasha -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:40:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

not when they can find pros on free sites. Sounds like a win/win to me for those guys.


Right. And these men are cheap, too. They don't want to pay $200 and hour and go to a dungeon, they want to pay $15 or $20 or whatever it is to "tribute" and then get some commands online and receive "hot pics" of the woman they are being dominated by.  To be honest, since I have never taken these offers seriously, I am not sure how many even go through with it.  For them, the offer of money might be a way to keep the conversation and fantasy alive, and when push comes to shove, they move on to the next lady with the same offer.

Akasha



LifeAdventurer -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:41:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifeAdventurer

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

what if they have?  What's it to you?


Well, for one thing, this site does not represent itself as just another gateway to pro dommes.  More importantly, if you are a true lifestyle dominant, then the more important question might be what does this new flood mean to you?    ;~)


"true", eh?  I wish you even more luck now.  What does it mean to me?  I don't want subs who choose to build a financial relationship.  So it means nothing to me.  I want someone who's looking for the ying to my yang not those who need or want to pay for services. 


Right on.  Both my thumbs Up and a big smile for You!   To me, this is what it's about more than anything else.  [sm=smile.gif]



liks2plzlf -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:44:42 PM)

It would seem financial domination is much like the person selling pet rocks some years back. If there is someone willing to pay for nothing, why not take advantage. If i were a sub, I expect to surrender my income to my Domina. If I become her slave, then whats mine becomes hers. If she actually spends very little real time interacting with me, wouldn't that be like financial domination, since now she would have everyting.? That would be more acceptable by me, since now we would both be getting pleasure. This seems to be mostly women financialy dominating, do male Doms do this as well?  Also, how do you get the little, in reply to, at the lower right of the post to name a specific poster?



MrRodgers -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:48:37 PM)

In my view the only time money...through 'financial domination' or not, ever becomes an issue is upon the consumation of a 24/7 live-in relationship...and subject to negotiation. Otherwise there is something at else at work.

To me...financial domination means financial control but also financial support which would or should only occur...in the above type relationship. This also means btw...no money ever...EVER....is to be sent to a stranger online.



LifeAdventurer -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:52:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

not when they can find pros on free sites. Sounds like a win/win to me for those guys.


Right. And these men are cheap, too. They don't want to pay $200 and hour and go to a dungeon, they want to pay $15 or $20 or whatever it is to "tribute" and then get some commands online and receive "hot pics" of the woman they are being dominated by.  To be honest, since I have never taken these offers seriously, I am not sure how many even go through with it.  For them, the offer of money might be a way to keep the conversation and fantasy alive, and when push comes to shove, they move on to the next lady with the same offer.

Akasha



Amazing!  Tributes of only $15 or $20?!?  I've been asked for tributes of $200 to $1,000.   Naturally, I do move on.  I'm not here for neither "sessions" nor "hot pics".  I seek an honest relationship which allows me to open up all the devotion in me seeking a wonderfully confident, adventuresome woman.




earthycouple -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 5:55:47 PM)

hmm...I wonder if my journal entry about $500 a pop for cyber and phone is going to be offputting here?  (of course it was said in jest and utter frustration)



WyckedIndulgence -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 6:01:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifeAdventurer

I just had no idea there were men seeking this outside a more substantial relationship.  Indeed, to each their own.  But I doubt there are as many men into this as there now are "Financial Dommes" wanting money up front.


Men pay for pro domme sessions for a variety of reasons... married, unable to find a dominant partner, purely for fantasy fulfillment, etc. The young women you mention here are aware of this and will capitalize on it if they can and why not? When desperation screams, money talks. 
quote:

ORIGINAL: LifeAdventure

True.  But aren't there sites aimed at providing professional dommes for those seeking them?   My original impression was that this site is for those seeking others with similar lifestyle interests?   

Wouldn't this site lose such a purpose if it becomes known mostly as a pro connection?   How many more pro listing sites are really needed?  I think a lifestyle site such as this is much more needed. 


There are any number of sites advertising professional services but if you've ever noticed, most are well put together and professionally done. Short of paying someone, how many of these newly cropped pro dommes on collarme have the funds, knowledge and/or skills to create such a site?
 
While the essence of collarme is for folks to find and meet others with similar interests, I doubt the powers that be have the desire, time or resources to read each and every profile to decide who is and isn't "real" or just out to make a fast buck. Therefore, it is what it is and we ignore those who are not to our liking and move on... Yes?  
 



LadySeraphina -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 6:02:11 PM)

I find it interesting, first off, that you assume those of us who are professionals are here strictly to ply our trade. I do on occasion make professional connections on the other side, but that is not the purpose of my being here. Heaven forbid that some of us are lifestyle AND professionals at the same time.

I take no money unless I set up a session. I do not solicit clients. If a male chooses to approach me, I simply make it clear what I offer, and that there is nothing else available to him. Should that not be what he wishes, he may go elsewhere, and frankly it leaves one wishing they would fully read a profile FIRST. (I know, earthycouple, 'good luck with that' lol)

I was going to elaborate on the reasons boys come to me, the many advantages of pay-to-play for those who cannot be 'out' in the scene, but frankly it's old hat. I have my personal houseboy and my slave. Any others who seek to serve me will pay tribute for sessions, or look elsewhere. Their choice.



LadySeraphina -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 6:07:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple

not when they can find pros on free sites. Sounds like a win/win to me for those guys.


Right. And these men are cheap, too. They don't want to pay $200 and hour and go to a dungeon, they want to pay $15 or $20 or whatever it is to "tribute" and then get some commands online and receive "hot pics" of the woman they are being dominated by. To be honest, since I have never taken these offers seriously, I am not sure how many even go through with it. For them, the offer of money might be a way to keep the conversation and fantasy alive, and when push comes to shove, they move on to the next lady with the same offer.

Akasha



On a side note, professional Domination (pay to play, if you will) versus financial Domination may be something we ought to clarify. To my way of thinking, 'financial Domination' relates to those who sign over chunks of their paycheck (or all of it) to the Domme, often for no obvious reward.

I have often been approached by boys who want me to blackmail them, or offer to send me ridiculous amounts of money. Guess what? Not one of them really wants to follow through, but all of them want me to help them engage in the fantasy. No thank you. I ended up creating a page on my site relating to it, so that I can simply say, 'look at my website, and don't waste my time'.



LifeAdventurer -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 6:09:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyckedIndulgence

Yes?  
 


[sm=smile.gif]  Yes.



LifeAdventurer -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 6:20:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySeraphina

On a side note, professional Domination (pay to play, if you will) versus financial Domination may be something we ought to clarify. To my way of thinking, 'financial Domination' relates to those who sign over chunks of their paycheck (or all of it) to the Domme, often for no obvious reward.


Exactly.  [sm=smile.gif]   What I'm mainly referring to is that new crop of young "dommes" who openly seek "Financial Domination" with the understanding that both sides should just be happy with her enjoying the money, no real time anything.  Some even come out and say, "Don't even ask for webcam, this is about Me, not you!"  I read those and shake my head in amusement, wondering who would be such a fool for that - especially when one doesn't even know if the pics represent the real recipient.




WyckedIndulgence -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 6:31:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifeAdventurer

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyckedIndulgence

Yes?  
 


[sm=smile.gif]  Yes.

I've gone from "vanilla" to "kinky" in a matter of minutes because of you... I've got to stop this insanity now!!!
[sm=whap.gif]



LifeAdventurer -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 6:39:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyckedIndulgence

quote:

ORIGINAL: LifeAdventurer

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyckedIndulgence

Yes?  
 


[sm=smile.gif]  Yes.

I've gone from "vanilla" to "kinky" in a matter of minutes because of you... I've got to stop this insanity now!!!
[sm=whap.gif]


[sm=cool.gif]  Oh, I bet You already wear the "kinky" title most alluring.  

Enjoy.  

And, thanks for the thoughtful contributions.




FullfigRIMaam -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 8:44:48 PM)

quote:

But, the question remains, how many men (in comparison to the abundance of "Financial Dominants") really seek this from women they hardly know?
You're going to have to do a poll on the other side and come share it with us.  As with any market, if there isn't someone buying/taking, there wouldn't be so many looking to get.   I don't blame anybody for dominating their own way, especially to the boys who write saying "I'm going to be in your state or neighborhood on these dates, would you do me?"  
quote:

Am I really mixing up too many issues when there are so many now here just looking for money?
We're all looking for something.  You simply need to pay less attention to those people not looking for what you offer, and more to those who do...  But than we'd have to start talking about what boys offer other than a kink list and poor social skills.
quote:

No problem there, but these are forums, right? 
No problem indeed.
Welcome,   M



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