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ORIGINAL: FitnessModel
I think there should be a personals site where Pros and FD's fuck off if you ask me. Also where do me subs fuck off too.  They are on 100% of the sites now, would it be too much to ask if we could have just 1 measly personals site that isnt completely fucked over?......

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ORIGINAL: FitnessModel

I have got over this now and I think perhaps so should you?

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Your suggestion that I get off my whiny little ass and do it for myself is a very good point thankyou, I would like to make a decent personals site but I am not convinced it would work anyway seeing as it would be gatecrashed by all and sundry.

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You seem to lurk these forums waiting to pounce on me stef, to spend so much attention on me that every single post I ever make however sporadic and random is always followed by you makes me seriously wonder how you actually do this like some kind of obsession and it makes me worry about you.

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I wont be posting here anylonger, I dont think this are that gooder places for male subs.

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ORIGINAL: BossyLadyPamela

who the fuck is anyone to judge anyone else.......

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  If you think such a website is needed, how about getting off your whiny ass and making it happen?

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ORIGINAL: ChainsandFreedom

LIFEADVENTURER

I pretty much agree with you on this one. Dont have a problem with prodom's ethically/socially and have never patronized one myself, but it seems that in the year plus since my first uncollared profile, the amount of 'tribute dommes' has gone way up while their apparent qualifications have gone WAY down. I wonder if all the young girls who should be working at starbucks actually find guys to support them or if they give up and end up at starbucks.

I don't know the odds of finding a domme on this site because my better half found MY profile. We cheated on the long distance thing by moving in with each other. But I gotta say, if you lurk the forums long enough or read enough posts, you get the very insulting answer to your question that as a male with specific interests, no female in their right mind would want you unless your willing to pay. Well keep looking guy, that attitude isnt universal.

Also, my Madame has related to me on numerous occasions that in both real life and in emails to her former profile, she gets the offensive assumption that because she is young and attractive and dominant and dresses the part at parties, she MUST be charging, right? Rarely, but sometimes, theres a cute assertive woman or two at the gathering who is capable of making a good living without having to be paid by guys topping from the bottom.

Personally, I have trouble taking anyone seriously if they say their dominant but constantly asking for money. Some people are skilled and have the equipment and the experience and the space-more power to them. But just as often, you get seemingly vanilla people with nothing to offer but a pretty face more or less begging for money in a braty way.

Also, this is a free dating site, and there are plenty of free places on the internet to find prodoms. But there are few social networking sites for D/s that are free-it surprises me more 'pro's' dont understand guy's consternation at their adverstising here. If we wanted pros, we'd go find them.
It takes away the sites credibility as social networking and makes it more of a yellow pages. The more prodomme ads there are, the fewer women will buy into the site as a viable place to meet mates at all.

Anyone who's supposed 'profession' is entirely reliant on a free dating site for their advertising seems rather shady to me. The fact that these paydomme threads always get jumped on by dommes enforcing the status quo tends to make me think theres a reason so many of them are insecure and quick to bully those who complain about their ads.

Many dommes say 'yeah well the equipments expensive so I ask my subs to pay for it'. But that doesnt make sense. You don't need the equipment - its leasure, not required of your personal life, and if your prodomming as a bussiness than your obiviously not very sucessful.  If i wanted to go to africa but couldn't afford the plane ticket, I wouldn't finance it by masqurading as a tour guide-professional bussiness people need equipment and a means to provide the service they offer. Maybe if more women kept their sex/social lives sex/social lives and focused their money making lives on legitimate endevors, they could afford the expense of the lifestyle. Or at least grow up and realize it isn't about the toys.

And just because some men will pay for it doesnt make it right. Women throughout history have been physically able to exploit weak willed men, but that doesnt mean they get to attatch the terms 'professional' or 'goddess worhty of tribute' to their resume. I could cruise for dates at the local High School, and I'd be monster. I could beg for coins in the street, but its not an honest way for someone with a pretty face, education, and at least enough money for an internet connection to make a living.

So yeah. No question in my mind some prodommes are professional at what they do and provide a legitmate service. Also no question in my mind this site is full of scammers riding their coat-tails.

One last thing. If people started posting profiles about pedophilla or beastiality, C-me would definatly start policing profiles. or they could just modify the TOS and put a pro-dom search option on the home page. They could just start by reading all the new or modified profiles quickly, or search for key words, and work backwards slowly from there. I wonder why they dont give a damn. I wonder why they dont have more obvious links to legitiamate pro-domme directories prevalently displayed.

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There would not be so many women if there were not so many desperate men willing to do it. Perhaps take the issue up with folks of your same gender?

In my experiences on the other side here when I tell a man I am not interested about a third want to come back and offer money or some gift or something to get me to reconsider, and I know they are doing it with every female entity they approach. It's desperate and it's sad. The women are flocking to take advantage because the men are willing to pay.

Why are they young and cute? Because the fat and ugly women can't demand as much money? You do the math. Also, I would be willing to bet a lot of those profiles are not who they say they are, and even men are posting pics of women and demanding tribute.

I am the first to admit, and have said it many times, I have no problem with the financial side of kink; it's not my gig, I feel empowered being the one that makes the money (I work, my husband does not), and I am *very* into the idea of paying a male sub for services. If only the market were reversed. In fact, in many ways, I would prefer that, when I am in a mood where I just want me "fix" and want to avoid the complications of a man wanting more in return than I am comfortable giving.

Supply and demand.

Akasha

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ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

This dreary topic comes up over and over..........

Good domination is a very valuable service worth about USD250 per hour in my part of the world.  A submissive should express appreciation by giving something of commeasurate value, be it services, sex (in the case of female submissives -male dominants demand payment by sex, not cash), gifts or money. 

Most Dominant women are too smart to be exploited for BDSM services by cheap men.  As others have said, pay for play might be the best value-for-money option in the long run, but every submissive should pay one way or another.

I have had only one experience with genuine Financial Domination.  My then submissive (a successful lawyer) wanted me to take over his bank accounts, remove him as signatory and give him an allowance to live on.  I was to pay all his bills, invest his money for him in a diversified portfolio of property and shares and approve all his expenditure.

HOW BLOODY BORING!  No thanks.  Why would I want to be someone else's unpaid bookkeeper?  I have a busy professional career of my own and enough trouble finding time to manage my own finances.   If a Mistress is offering genuine Financial Domination of that kind, I think she should be paid at least USD60 per hour (the wages of a good financial adviser)

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ORIGINAL: MaDomAura

Plain unvarnished truth. I am NOT young, "cute" or thin! Beauty, is relative don't you know? I command as much and often more than other providers in my area! I am left stone cold hearing CM members say this site should do something about "XYZ" typically pros/fatties/wankers. Ultimately any place you seek human intercourse you will find only a few potential mates (YMMV).

I have said before, be it bars, play parties, ball games, museums, personal ads, dating sties et al, they will statistically represent the diverse population. This comment is inflammatory, but what is being begged is a form of profiling. Would my profile be deleted because I neither encourage discourage encounters? (A direct quote from my profile btw). It's my prerogative to proceed anyway I desire. If I accept a pro scene with a sub, what care you?

I defend your right to free speech but you can't enforce morality, intelligence or your will here or in real life.

Ok, I now look back and see my dominant personality expressed as early as age 7. Perhaps having 6 older brothers was where it was firstly tempered. I do provide ProDomme experiences to intelligent subs who typically are male. My profile indicates I have no hard preference, M/F/T all whet my appetite. I am a type A. fire breathing, alpha-female in all avenues of my life. Just because a few impostors join in as Pro Dommes/Doms should not taint all Pro/Fin Ds.

Stereotypes hurt us all!

MaDom Aura

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  If you think such a website is needed, how about getting off your whiny ass and making it happen?

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ORIGINAL: FitnessModel

stef goes: :Blah blah I HATE you I HATE you I HATE you oh yes I do blah blah!!! I HATE you SO MUCH AAAGH!!! (lol)

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I wont be posting here anylonger

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If only I had the time I probably would, having said that no matter how much effort was made I am not convinced it would work anyway.  The last place like this had to cave in eventually as there where so many on there not being upfront about their intentions, doing it in a backdoor fashion by presenting themselves as something they are not then asking for money in private communications to avoid been seen on the radar.  This wasted much time for many and created a lot of dissalusionment.  So eventually the site had to allow financially interested people so that the profiles could be more upfront and people know what they are dealing with.  Since the flood gates opened like this it has been even harder for both Dommes and subs to find partnerships, I even get messages on the site in question from dissalusioned Dommes at times.  Upon knowing good freinds for a few years now it transpires that a few UK Dommes looking for lifestyle relationships have decided not to use Collarme.

Please try not to read between the lines too much and take this post too emotively, as much as it may appear to lend itself to thinking that I am just stating facts.  Im not trying to judge those with a financial interest and I will resist any temptation to feel annoyed at how the social environment is influenced like this.  As much as their actions make life harder for those looking for partnerships I still respect their rights to make money.  I realize that my ideology works against their right to make money through personals sites and I am bad for thinking that, while I know that their ideology influences the social environment and works against others rights such as myself to a loving relationship yet I must have respect for them regardless of that.

I apologize for my previous rantings but its not always easy too keep my cool when this makes a wonderfull relationship with a girlfreind I can hold hands with, make laugh, entertain, give emotional attention to and so on even further away from each others grasp.  I dont know how others would feel about that but perhaps Im just the odd one out for getting occasionaly annoyed at this, I suppose I shouldnt really because it just doesnt work or fit in having that kind of attitude as is pretty obvious.