RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice?

RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (Full Version)

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LifeAdventurer -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 9:12:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam quote: But, the question remains, how many men (in comparison to the abundance of "Financial Dominants") really seek this from women they hardly know? You're going to have to do a poll on the other side and come share it with us. As with any market, if there isn't someone buying/taking, there wouldn't be so many looking to get. I don't blame anybody for dominating their own way, especially to the boys who write saying "I'm going to be in your state or neighborhood on these dates, would you do me?" Well, let me put it this. Since I began this thread, I've received at least half a dozen PMs from males agreeing with me and even saying the site should terminate accounts that seek money, as prohibited by the Terms here. In turn, I've told them to express themselves in the thread, which I see none of them have. But, notice how no male has posted in here a desire for financial domination. In real life, I also know of no man seeking that. And Dommes who have been approached for it have said here that those guys flake out. Likewise, a good friend of my mine is an attractive Las Vegas dancer/dominatrix, and she too complains of thin pickings. So, isn't that good random sampling poll already in its own right? quote: ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam quote: Am I really mixing up too many issues when there are so many now here just looking for money? We're all looking for something. You simply need to pay less attention to those people not looking for what you offer, and more to those who do... But than we'd have to start talking about what boys offer other than a kink list and poor social skills. Agreed, but how many free hours does a male need to find the connection this site is supposed to have? The PMs I have received because of this today indicates these guys can't even get a reply unless its a request for "tribute". quote: ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam quote: No problem there, but these are forums, right? No problem indeed. Welcome, M Thank You :~)

FullfigRIMaam -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 9:19:02 PM)
I sincerely doubt that a gentleman who has social skills, is not cheap, and is comfortable with courtship has difficulty connecting with sincere women on the other side. I do know there is a fair amount of sanctimonious women hating men who bitch non stop about how they don't get their kink fed for free. I rather think that the problem is everyone is seeking the quickest fix he/she can, and generally speaking, for some men it is "do this to me so I can get sexual graitification" and some women it is "give me lots of money so I can buy more nice clothes and shoes." Just my opinion though. [8D] M

ChainsandFreedom -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/13/2007 10:22:58 PM)
LIFEADVENTURER I pretty much agree with you on this one. Dont have a problem with prodom's ethically/socially and have never patronized one myself, but it seems that in the year plus since my first uncollared profile, the amount of 'tribute dommes' has gone way up while their apparent qualifications have gone WAY down. I wonder if all the young girls who should be working at starbucks actually find guys to support them or if they give up and end up at starbucks. I don't know the odds of finding a domme on this site because my better half found MY profile. We cheated on the long distance thing by moving in with each other. But I gotta say, if you lurk the forums long enough or read enough posts, you get the very insulting answer to your question that as a male with specific interests, no female in their right mind would want you unless your willing to pay. Well keep looking guy, that attitude isnt universal. Also, my Madame has related to me on numerous occasions that in both real life and in emails to her former profile, she gets the offensive assumption that because she is young and attractive and dominant and dresses the part at parties, she MUST be charging, right? Rarely, but sometimes, theres a cute assertive woman or two at the gathering who is capable of making a good living without having to be paid by guys topping from the bottom. Personally, I have trouble taking anyone seriously if they say their dominant but constantly asking for money. Some people are skilled and have the equipment and the experience and the space-more power to them. But just as often, you get seemingly vanilla people with nothing to offer but a pretty face more or less begging for money in a braty way. Also, this is a free dating site, and there are plenty of free places on the internet to find prodoms. But there are few social networking sites for D/s that are free-it surprises me more 'pro's' dont understand guy's consternation at their adverstising here. If we wanted pros, we'd go find them. It takes away the sites credibility as social networking and makes it more of a yellow pages. The more prodomme ads there are, the fewer women will buy into the site as a viable place to meet mates at all. Anyone who's supposed 'profession' is entirely reliant on a free dating site for their advertising seems rather shady to me. The fact that these paydomme threads always get jumped on by dommes enforcing the status quo tends to make me think theres a reason so many of them are insecure and quick to bully those who complain about their ads. Many dommes say 'yeah well the equipments expensive so I ask my subs to pay for it'. But that doesnt make sense. You don't need the equipment - its leasure, not required of your personal life, and if your prodomming as a bussiness than your obiviously not very sucessful. If i wanted to go to africa but couldn't afford the plane ticket, I wouldn't finance it by masqurading as a tour guide-professional bussiness people need equipment and a means to provide the service they offer. Maybe if more women kept their sex/social lives sex/social lives and focused their money making lives on legitimate endevors, they could afford the expense of the lifestyle. Or at least grow up and realize it isn't about the toys. And just because some men will pay for it doesnt make it right. Women throughout history have been physically able to exploit weak willed men, but that doesnt mean they get to attatch the terms 'professional' or 'goddess worhty of tribute' to their resume. I could cruise for dates at the local High School, and I'd be monster. I could beg for coins in the street, but its not an honest way for someone with a pretty face, education, and at least enough money for an internet connection to make a living. So yeah. No question in my mind some prodommes are professional at what they do and provide a legitmate service. Also no question in my mind this site is full of scammers riding their coat-tails. One last thing. If people started posting profiles about pedophilla or beastiality, C-me would definatly start policing profiles. or they could just modify the TOS and put a pro-dom search option on the home page. They could just start by reading all the new or modified profiles quickly, or search for key words, and work backwards slowly from there. I wonder why they dont give a damn. I wonder why they dont have more obvious links to legitiamate pro-domme directories prevalently displayed.

cyberdude611 -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 2:05:43 AM)
Again, like I have said over and over again... The biggest moral problem pro-dommes and financial dommes face is that 99% of male doms do not demand "tribute" from their subs. And everyone uses the same excuse about how women get so many offers and therfore can only use money as a way to determine who is serious. Which is just a joke really. First off, female subs get slammed with e-mail as well. They don't demand down payments. Second, you may lack a bit in intelligence if it takes money to find out if someone is serious or not. Because I assure you that a vast majority of people who are serious probably will not pay. Third, this is only contributing to the vast scam rings already all over the internet. How about the "equitment" excuse? Again... male doms don't seem to have a problem purchasing their own equitment when needed. I dont want this to sound rude to anyone out there but...get a job. Most male doms do BDSM as a hobby. They find a female sub and build a relationship with her and this is play time outside his normal vanilla career life. SOME women on the other hand look at this as potential profit. They would rather charge $500 for a spanking and call that a hard days work. YES, I know there are pro-dommes out there that do have real jobs. And I have no problem with you if you are one of those. But I do have a problem with ones that are not truely into this lifestyle and only using it to make some quick cash. And when you look at most financial dommes....notice that being a money domme seems to be their one and only kink. The whole thing is about the $$$. Other than the money...there is no enjoyment in BDSM for them. They would give it up completely if it wasn't profitable.

UtopianRanger -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 3:35:22 AM)
quote: Again, like I have said over and over again... The biggest moral problem pro-dommes and financial dommes face is that 99% of male doms do not demand "tribute" from their subs. That's both a logical and well-argued position. Now.....if you would just apply a similar logic to your geo-political leanings, you'd be back on track ; } - R

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 5:03:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LifeAdventurer Makes a sincere fellow with an unlimited offering of devotion to give wonder about the sincerity of many of the ladies here. Why would collarme be any different from any other "adult" dating site? Go to any vanilla adult dating site and you will see some women looking for love and lots of women wanting cash for sex. Here we practice alternate sexuality but it is sexual nonetheless Isn't it quite naive to join this kind of site then expect you can cruise and get BDSM services for free? And take a morally self righteous (and condescending) attitude to those women too smart to give away free BDSM to undeserving strangers? I believe in market economics: women (young or otherwise) would stop selling BDSM services here if no-one was buying. Obviously there is a contented market of men too dicreet to admit they willingly pay to play. Of course every man would LOVE to get kinky sexplay for free. And World Peace. But its naive to demand it. Just be grateful as hell if you stumble across it.

pollux -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 5:17:48 AM)
Male dom/female sub vs. Female domme/male sub = different marketplace, different symbols of power, different subcultural economies. Not the same. One of the ways people acquire power in vanilla culture is through material wealth. The power-wealth connection is strong, and it is typically associated with men. It's a stereotype that women are changing (have changed?) in vanilla culture, but it's still a strong image. Male = has the money = has the power. Now, flip that around and enter femdom culture. It's not surprising or immoral that some people are now playing around with money & materialism in the same way they toy with a man's masculinity and symbols of power in other ways. I really don't think it's a big deal, except that clearly you can have unethical people practicing it. But you can have unethical people practicing physical D/s & BDSM so I don't really know where that gets us. Edit: sorry MsC, that was a "QuickReply" and should've been directed mostly to cyberdude's argument. Edit #2: quote: And when you look at most financial dommes....notice that being a money domme seems to be their one and only kink. The whole thing is about the $$$. Other than the money...there is no enjoyment in BDSM for them. They would give it up completely if it wasn't profitable. This is undoubtedly true in lots of cases, so you certainly have a point there.

candleTC -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 5:25:06 AM)
But isn't that true of many people who are in jobs that they absolutely deplore? Financial gain is what drives people to do things they hate.

pollux -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 5:35:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candleTC But isn't that true of many people who are in jobs that they absolutely deplore? Financial gain is what drives people to do things they hate. Don't disagree with that at all.

MissIsis -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 5:48:38 AM)
First off, I have no problem with financial dommes. They do what they do because they can. Actually, they are offering a service. I receive offers all the time offering me some sort of payment. Just yesterday, a man offered to sell his house & give me the money if I would accept him into my service. Believe me, as someone who works hard at a regular job for her money, the temptation is there. I have seen that some men, do indeed, also are financial dominants. If a guy pays a ProDomme, he is probably getting off cheaper than he would with a partner. No big weddings to worry about planning. No day to day support. None of his credit cards are being rung up from his SO. And no divorce or 50/50 split of assets when the relationship ends. He knows upfront what he will pay, & can plan for it much easier than he can for a relationship. As some have stated, if there wasn't a market for ProDommes, there would be no one paying for their services. ProDommes do have to purchase their equipment, especially, if they are going to equip a dungeon. They might have to pay for someone to act as a security agent for them. Like anything, anyone can hang their sign up in a window & claim to be a Domme, but I don't think it would take long for someone to figure out they are not very good at it, & not go to that person anymore. If we made it more mainstream, our cities could charge licensing fees, & require education & ongoing classes as a means to control Pro's like they do everything else. They would learn to recognize things they should look for, to protect themselves, the client & future clients. They would have to have some expertise in order to practice what they do. What is different from a ProDomme getting paid for her services, than a hypnotherapist, or a massage therapist, or even a psychic. A good ProDomme will have had plenty of practice at her craft. She has money tied up in her equipment. She will know how to clean her toy & how to sterilize some of them, & which ones. She will have learned how to read her clients & how to negotiate the services she offers with the services her clients want. Let's assume that many of her clients are married men, that can't or won't for whatever reason, tell his wife of his kink & his desires, or that he has, & she won't. I am not necessarily condoning cheating, but if he is going to step out of his marriage to get these needs met, wouldn't it be better for him to go to a Pro, who will be both more discreet & safer than someone he picks up somewhere? I seriously doubt the Pro would want to disrupt or destroy his family. The truth is, there are many, many married men and quite a few married women as well as single people that are willing to pay to get their S&M needs met. Sorry this was in response to the op. That post/quick post thing gets me everytime.

DiannaVesta -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 5:52:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy I do practise FinDom. I've been lifestyle, professional, and lifestyle. I don't use CM as anything other than a way to make personal play contacts and participate on boards. FinDom is a logical outcropping, to me, of the kind of humiliation and psychological play interests I have. Why is it OK that everyone plays to the gender/power question but the minute someone plays to the class/money/power question she's ruining the scene? Very good point. I wasn’t going to bother with this thread but I wanted to at least read it and once again read the comments. Clearly few people really understand this dynamic but what I find so very disturbing is the prejudice and ridiculous intolerance. Nothing gets these threads going more then a topic on financial domination and female supremacy. Its ok the fact that for centuries women have been exploited by the patriarch and let me remind you EXTREMELY manipulated and disregarded. But I will be damn if a woman stands up and takes control. Understand I’m not saying it’s the same… actually I think what we’ve endured is far worse. But that’s really not the point, just feel like ranting a bit. Lol But come on people, give it up. We all know how you feel and obviously you all have opinions right or wrong. It’s a fucking fetish/scene, no more no less. I never considered myself a financial dom and to be honest 20 years plus in the scene I never heard of it until just a few years ago when I started doing phone sessions on Nite Flirt. I mean in my world, female domination, you have certain expectations, some women more then others. What I do is not a type of rape/exploration which is the FANTASY of financial domination. I am more of a Queen/Goddess type that enjoys adoration through service which would also include gifts, tributes, CASH, whatever you want to call it or think about it. There are a lot of men drawn to this type of attitude and in fact it’s part of my sexuality. Is there an increasing number of financial domination lately? Yep and there is also an increase in forced bi, toilet training and the like. Nothing new, just a question of supply and demand. I have guys that join my membership site, listen to audios, watch videos, etc. and a little light goes off inside of them and their dicks get hard. Its something new, kinky and they become curious. They read erotica, look at pictures and without even trying it they develop a fascination for it. Keep in mind that most are still closet cases that have NEVER actually done any of this before. In fact 8 our of 10 guys I talk to on the phone with intense fantasies have NEVER seen a mistress before.

rhythmboi -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 7:10:18 AM)
quote: Male dom/female sub vs. Female domme/male sub = different marketplace, different symbols of power, different subcultural economies. Not the same. One of the ways people acquire power in vanilla culture is through material wealth. The power-wealth connection is strong, and it is typically associated with men. It's a stereotype that women are changing (have changed?) in vanilla culture, but it's still a strong image. Male = has the money = has the power. Now, flip that around and enter femdom culture. It's not surprising or immoral that some people are now playing around with money & materialism in the same way they toy with a man's masculinity and symbols of power in other ways. Yeah, agreed. There was a very (i thought) reasonable thread over in the main forum, which basically asked why it was deemed perfectly fine for male doms to appropriate female labor in the form of domestic work but not ok (at least on the parts of those who are whining about it) for female doms to appropriate male labor in the form of cash. It's the same differnece, and the only thing that makes us think otherwise is the devaluation of traditionally 'women's work' - i.e. domestic labor. We live in the cult of the dollar though, so anything the market deems as exchangeable for money is suddently sacrosanct.

Grlwithboy -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 8:01:23 AM)
If I only looked at hawt 18-27 year olds and unattached women rather than coming to grips with not being the only slave, I'd be really dismayed at the lack of anyone in it for anything other than money. Look with your dick, find people willing and happy to exploit that. Look with your brain and I'm sure you will manage to skirt the evil and sneaky underworld of young women blackmailing and scheming to take your money, the criminal mastermind elite. (not) I keep thinking about what Dan Savage has to say about the guys complaining about the ageist nature of the gay bar scene. Uh, look in the mirror dude. Face your OWN age-ist look-ist whatever that makes you think you should not be dating people who look like you. Face your OWN "married but looking" or "80 hour a week job or school/job that logistically prohibits me from being in full service attention mode more than a couple of hours a week." Why expect more from the partner than you've got to offer up? Blunt and to the point. Let the flames commence.

edgeofreality -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 9:40:49 AM)
I am curious, so please do not take this as an attack or an insult....I was wondering why you seemed to react so negatively to the OP's premise? I am reading this thread mostly to get some insight into the point of view that people have regarding financial domination...

LifeAdventurer -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 11:02:33 AM)
First off, I would like to thank all of those entering thoughtful, sincere commentary here. I do hope to respond to all thoughts expressed here, but it will take time and I do have a busy schedule of commitments that don't allow as much time as I invested here yesterday. Secondly, this thread was not started as an argument against pro dommes in general. I have always felt that the consentual finacial dealings among adults should be legalized. Professional sex services do clearly provide a service sought by many, married and otherwise, who seek only quick or kink fixes. Rather, this thread was started because of the increasing exploitation of sincere persons seeking honest long term relationships build upon a lifestyle that this website is supposedly intented to encourage and address connections for. When there are numerous pro domme listing sites and services available specifically for those interested in pay-for-play, is it not wrong that this site is being ruined by a surge in scamming Nigerian-created (or styled) accounts and "financial dommes" who offer no more than their financial ambitions? This site already has policies against money transactions, yet they aren't being enforced. Shouldn't pro dommes and the new wave of so-called "financial dommes" only be allowed accounts here seeking honest relationships? They already have professional options elsewhere. quote: ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam I sincerely doubt that a gentleman who has social skills, is not cheap, and is comfortable with courtship has difficulty connecting with sincere women on the other side. I do know there is a fair amount of sanctimonious women hating men who bitch non stop about how they don't get their kink fed for free. I rather think that the problem is everyone is seeking the quickest fix he/she can, and generally speaking, for some men it is "do this to me so I can get sexual graitification" and some women it is "give me lots of money so I can buy more nice clothes and shoes." Just my opinion though. [8D] M The question is respectfully asked: Is this site intended only for those seeking "the quickest fix", or has it not got a more lifestyle committed purpose that is otherwise being corrupted?

AAkasha -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 12:19:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LifeAdventurer First off, I would like to thank all of those entering thoughtful, sincere commentary here. I do hope to respond to all thoughts expressed here, but it will take time and I do have a busy schedule of commitments that don't allow as much time as I invested here yesterday. Secondly, this thread was not started as an argument against pro dommes in general. I have always felt that the consentual finacial dealings among adults should be legalized. Professional sex services do clearly provide a service sought by many, married and otherwise, who seek only quick or kink fixes. Rather, this thread was started because of the increasing exploitation of sincere persons seeking honest long term relationships build upon a lifestyle that this website is supposedly intented to encourage and address connections for. When there are numerous pro domme listing sites and services available specifically for those interested in pay-for-play, is it not wrong that this site is being ruined by a surge in scamming Nigerian-created (or styled) accounts and "financial dommes" who offer no more than their financial ambitions? This site already has policies against money transactions, yet they aren't being enforced. Shouldn't pro dommes and the new wave of so-called "financial dommes" only be allowed accounts here seeking honest relationships? They already have professional options elsewhere. quote: ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMaam I sincerely doubt that a gentleman who has social skills, is not cheap, and is comfortable with courtship has difficulty connecting with sincere women on the other side. I do know there is a fair amount of sanctimonious women hating men who bitch non stop about how they don't get their kink fed for free. I rather think that the problem is everyone is seeking the quickest fix he/she can, and generally speaking, for some men it is "do this to me so I can get sexual graitification" and some women it is "give me lots of money so I can buy more nice clothes and shoes." Just my opinion though. [8D] M The question is respectfully asked: Is this site intended only for those seeking "the quickest fix", or has it not got a more lifestyle committed purpose that is otherwise being corrupted? Ok, then how are you also going to get rid of the guys with a dick in one hand and their other hand on their wallet, who send one line emails to everyone female when they log on, begging for domination and not leaving them alone when the lady asks for a more thorough, though-through email of introduction? These men surely are looking for "the quickest fix." I think it's great that they can maybe message another lady, who says "Yeah I will dominate you, here's my paypal" so that they stop bugging ME when I log on, because I am looking for someone willing to spend a little time getting to know me. Akasha

Grlwithboy -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 12:29:35 PM)
This site is for people to connect. I really don't see what the problem is beyond moving on from those who don't suit your interests. I have 8-10 male messages for every female message, depsite the fact that I'm pretty clear that I'm trying to find a gender girl at this juncture. Some are stupid and pointless, some I'll chat with a little because friends tend to have friends. It's really no skin off my ass what other people do and how seriously.

ChainsandFreedom -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 1:10:38 PM)
quote: Male dom/female sub vs. Female domme/male sub = different marketplace, different symbols of power, different subcultural economies. Not the same. One of the ways people acquire power in vanilla culture is through material wealth. The power-wealth connection is strong, and it is typically associated with men. It's a stereotype that women are changing (have changed?) in vanilla culture, but it's still a strong image. Male = has the money = has the power. Now, flip that around and enter femdom culture. It's not surprising or immoral that some people are now playing around with money & materialism in the same way they toy with a man's masculinity and symbols of power in other ways. -actually, the way I was brought up, selling physical and/or sensual services for money reinforces unequal gender roles rather than breaking them down. selling a fantasy of dominance has nothing to do with the reality that your selling your physical essance and gender for money. Buying the physical gratification you want for cash isn't going to bring about new egalitarian dialouges between the sexes, only reinforce that its okay not to understand women if your rich. -the idea that men always have power and women don't is garbage when coming from privledged americans comparired with the other 6 billion people on the planet-more woman are graduating with college degrees than men, being a woman is less of a factor in your wealth than being a minority according to the census, and ever since queens victoria, cleopatria, and elizabeth, women have been playing with material wealth-it isn't like dommes are the new age sexual crusaders in any sense of the word.

FitnessModel -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 2:33:49 PM)
I think its enourmously wonderfull and generous of Pro's and so on to say "Well these sub guys are normal everyday folk, they arent pushovers" then come onto personals sites in their millions to offer the same helping hand. I commend you all. FD's are great I love them too, absolutely brilliant. I think its great how Often Dommes will complain about how there are too many subs that don’t want to get the know them as a person and are just in it for getting their masochistic cocks off, I see this as a fair enough complaint. When they do they will get nothing but support from everyone. Its done and dusted quickly and we all go home so it appears like they don’t complain as much. You also get subs who complain about how there are too many Dommes that don’t want to get to know them as a person and are just in it to get their financial rocks off, I see this as a fair enough complaint. When they do they will get nothing but abuse from everyone. This continues and exajurates the situation so it appears they complain more. What exactly is the difference between the 2 complaints apart from the fact one is sex the other money? Well as far as I am concerned essentially there is none but the scene thinks otherwise, therfor this premise would imply that if loads of subs where interested in Dommes money as opposed to just wanting to get off their masochistic cocks then Dommes would not have a problem with this. Personally I find that concept hard to believe. Going by this doctrine we can conclude a phrase that summarizes much of the ethos of Female Domination which would be “Male subs are actually worthless by virtue of the fact they are male subs” and “Dommes are worthy by virtue of the fact they are Dommes”. These 2 phrases that encapsulate a general theme mean that many are shooting themselves in the foot, WHY? Because male submissives with some backbone who are interested in dating a Domme and want to get to know her as a person are going to want some respect in light of what they have to offer aren’t going to be as interested and this is why its said to be so hard to find a decent sub, well bugger me with a fishfork and make me bake cakes halleluyah Einstien Eureka as if thats rocket science, cos it aint. I think there should be a personals site where Pros and FD's fuck off if you ask me. Also where do me subs fuck off too. They are on 100% of the sites now, would it be too much to ask if we could have just 1 measly personals site that isnt completely fucked over?......

AAkasha -> RE: "Financial Domination" as a career choice? (8/14/2007 3:17:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FitnessModel I think its enourmously wonderfull and generous of Pro's and so on to say "Well these sub guys are normal everyday folk, they arent pushovers" then come onto personals sites in their millions to offer the same helping hand. I commend you all. Oh no! Back with a new nick, d'oh!

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