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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/22/2007 3:52:47 PM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLegs

So now it is just me, personally, that is men just want to use sexually? And I am too stupid to know how to take my personal safety seriously?

I'm taking the arrogamt lable off & putting it on you. Thanks for your input

Didn't say that. Do you think no woman ever wanted to use a man the same way? Or that we aren't just as at risk from crazy and abusive women? Some of whom masquerade as "dommes"?

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/22/2007 6:00:12 PM

cloudboy

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Joined: 12/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragynsfury

I'll agree I'm surprised this is about pros versus joes and the ethical views on male dominance versus female dominance. I sort of thought this was more a comparison on domination techniques/practices.

I'll go bury my head in the sand now!

That's not the major point of the thread, I was just trying to settle an old score. That's where the offshoot came from.

All of us like to self define, but the joy of a message board is that there's a written record out there --- which is ever useful to impeach another's line of bullshit.

Which reminds me, I used to know another Domme out in Indiana who once told me that cross-examination for her was better than sex.

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/22/2007 7:25:19 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragynsfury

I'll agree I'm surprised this is about pros versus joes and the ethical views on male dominance versus female dominance. I sort of thought this was more a comparison on domination techniques/practices.

I'll go bury my head in the sand now!

That's not the major point of the thread, I was just trying to settle an old score. That's where the offshoot came from.

All of us like to self define, but the joy of a message board is that there's a written record out there --- which is ever useful to impeach another's line of bullshit.

Which reminds me, I used to know another Domme out in Indiana who once told me that cross-examination for her was better than sex.

So let me get this straight. Since I decided - oh, say a few days ago - that I would start doing a few phone sessions - after 6+ years - now I am not legitimately a lifestyle femdom and now a pro, despite the fact that my career has nothing to do with kink, and I actually support my stay at home husband? Priceless!

I am sure all lifestyle femdoms who have ever earned any sum of money recreationally - as a result of their fetishes - enjoy being reclassified as a pro. You are very short sighted, but seem to enjoy your place.

Edited to add: By saying you have "a score to settle" also clarifies you just have an agenda and a beef with me, whether you are obsessed or resentful or whatever it is, feel free to continue to spend time and energy trying to ruin my credibility. I love it that my words stay on here for all to see. I've lived my kinky life in front of the world since 1995, I don't have anything to hide.

Akasha

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 11/22/2007 7:27:08 PM >

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/22/2007 7:39:00 PM

cloudboy

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Aakasha, the record speaks for itself. Enough said. Let it go. Its been settled by the bold faced facts.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 11/22/2007 7:41:04 PM >

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Post #: 144

RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/23/2007 11:34:34 AM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Aakasha, the record speaks for itself. Enough said. Let it go. Its been settled by the bold faced facts.

Who cares? What difference does it make? She is what she is. Get off it cloudboy.

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/23/2007 12:05:19 PM

Stephann

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Maledoms who acted this way would get tagged as worthless, parasitical users.

There's a definite double standard.

No, I disagree. On another thread, someone mentioned how male dominants do something similar; instead of pro-doming, they host seminars, workshops, play parties, or manage venues.

I think of it this way; I'm a musician. I love to play music, and do it all the time in my personal life for free. But my guitar, sax, amplifiers, reeds, picks, strings, cables, microphones, stands, etc all cost money. I can do what I love (play music) for bars and clubs, and earn a few bucks doing it. I make the people I perform for happy, I make a few dollars on the side, and get a chance top do what I love. Does that make me a 'pro' musician? Or a 'lifestyle' musician? Ask any musician; they're one and the same.

Stephan

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/23/2007 12:21:13 PM

Aceton

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quote:

ORIGINAL: solia

Um, you mean there are male dominants out there that pay for stuff? I'd like to meet a few. Seriously, not to be sarcastic, but so far, in my experience, the majority of the male dominants that I've met are stay at home guys who have their girl/s out there working and handing over the paycheck before they strip and get to the business of cleaning, cooking and servicing him .

Wow, really? Sorry, but that sounds INCREDIBLY lame. I have no need or desire for a Dom to take care of me financially or housework wise either, but I sure as hell wouldn't have any respect for a man who didn't do anything except leech off me. What's Dominant about that?

Methinks that some people have the terms 'Dominant' and 'Dependent' mixed up.

If I wanted someone to rely on me to house, clothe, feed, and generally provide for them, as well as attending to their every whim, I'd have a kid. At least with a kid you might get some finger painted drawings in return for your efforts.

(Edited because I wasn't done being scathing)

< Message edited by Aceton -- 11/23/2007 12:24:35 PM >

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/23/2007 7:03:25 PM

cloudboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Who cares? What difference does it make? She is what she is. Get off it cloudboy.

If an issue is in dispute, you should not jump on the person who resolves it. If you can't spot the relevance, don't get mad at me about it.

Lastly, who made you the CMMB moderator?

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 11/23/2007 7:04:27 PM >

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/23/2007 7:08:36 PM

RRafe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aceton

quote:

ORIGINAL: solia

Um, you mean there are male dominants out there that pay for stuff? I'd like to meet a few. Seriously, not to be sarcastic, but so far, in my experience, the majority of the male dominants that I've met are stay at home guys who have their girl/s out there working and handing over the paycheck before they strip and get to the business of cleaning, cooking and servicing him .

Wow, really? Sorry, but that sounds INCREDIBLY lame. I have no need or desire for a Dom to take care of me financially or housework wise either, but I sure as hell wouldn't have any respect for a man who didn't do anything except leech off me. What's Dominant about that?

Methinks that some people have the terms 'Dominant' and 'Dependent' mixed up.

If I wanted someone to rely on me to house, clothe, feed, and generally provide for them, as well as attending to their every whim, I'd have a kid. At least with a kid you might get some finger painted drawings in return for your efforts.

(Edited because I wasn't done being scathing)

My take is this. If you want to maintain power-you do it by having a firm base, and standing on your own. If you must break with a slave for any reason- it cannot affect your life in a negative fashion.

Were I to set myself up in a situation where I depended on my sub to support me-I would become very much her thrall. It would limit my options, making me dependent on HER.

So when I look at what so many Dommes here are doing -especially the ones who make a living off of tributes? What a sorry way to sell your soul. You can be cut off at the knees in an instant-hardly what I would think of a secure.

The subs really DO have the power then-all of it.

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/23/2007 10:35:36 PM

DMFParadox

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Ok, a few perspectives I've come across in here that I strenuously disagree with.

women hold the sexual power
ABSOLUTELY NOT. Men hold the sexual power for men, and women hold the sexual power for women. As a man, you are not 'competing' against a woman's sexual power for your satisfaction; you are not testing yourself against her. You are testing yourself against other men. Both in a specific, 'she's got a 25-year-old millionaire with a winning smile hitting on her' kind of way, and a baseline 'this graph is the average man, and that line down there is where you sit' kind of way.

And the reverse is true. Girl can make a man dance all day long, if she's the only game in town. But bring another woman into the picture, that's as cute or moreso than she, and suddenly her vagina mind ray has lost some significant potency.

Sorry to burst that particular bubble, guys--it's not her you've got to worry about. If you're on my turf, it's me. And vice versa. But at the same time, a MAJOR portion of the masculine sexuality is our ability to avoid killing each other whilst competing. This requires character traits such as playfulness, teamwork, and respect for competitors. So really, we should form some gangs up in here. Which goes back to what Stephann said... the Domly Doms end up doing the group involvement thing with workshops and munches and such. As a matter of fact, I'm starting the Takedown Some Subs East Side Mafia. Doms membership only. Any takers?

Next: Dommes don't pay, and Doms do. Because that's what their genitalia dictate.
Also: Dommes don't want harems, and Doms do.

Ok, you are a Domme. Imagine this scenario: You're rich, filthy and ridiculously rich... and you happen to know of Teh Pefrectt Slave Auction where you can buy yourself some STUDS that will go all night, have a perfect and adorable bodies, are utterly submissive to your will but have this quirky and playful attitude that just makes your mouth water. Both of your mouths water. And are unique with personal quirks, but all manageable ones. There's no social pressure to keep you from keeping as many of these studs as you have hours in the day. The only thing is that they don't have a job and you'd have to room them and feed them. AND YOU THINK MOST DOMMES WOULDN'T LOVE THAT? The only thing that prevents them from enjoying that scenario is that they just haven't got the economics to manage it.

Alternate scenario. Me personally, I'm a merchant marine and I do all right at tax season but I can't pay for the whole way. Maybe in a few years when I'm a mate or a Master (completely different flavor of Master.) but not right now. Also, if I could, I would much rather have a 'slave' that could step up if I were to get hit by a car and need to be taken care of for 6 months or so. This requires basic survival skills in Ye Moderne Age. And a job. On top of which, having a life keeps the mind and body active in ways that just wouldn't happen if she were in a cage 24/7. And don't even get me started on kids... if the relationship progresses that far, I am for abso-damned-lutely making sure that if I come down with a sudden case of dead that my baby's momma can handle herself. Which means that 'professional woman who makes good money--maybe even better than me' is very much on the table as far as I'm concerned. But I also don't need support, I come from a long line of tough men and I am not letting them down. And honestly, I don't think that this paragraphs' worth of self-analysis sets me too much apart from your average man, even your average Dom. Not from what I've seen.

How about this statement for a chestnut?
It's the outrageously stereotyped bizarro people that get NOTICED.
The rest of us can only set ourselves apart... by being unexpectedly normal.

D

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/23/2007 11:24:36 PM

shootingstar67

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Here is an interesting qoute(s) from "born slave"(the website)

If you want to be slave, plan on maintaining a separate household from the Owner. Once slave, then you will live where you are supposed to live. Your egotistic plans to put together the relationship that you can clearly identify as being a good one for you has nothing to do with your becoming slave. Get clear, do you want to become slave, or spend you time trying to implement your expectation of what a Master/slave relationship should be for you? But, don't try to do both, and don't delude yourself into thinking that you can.

When you have become financially dependent, co-dependent, or even inter-twined, you have lost the independence necessary to feel the required level of honesty. Being connected in a way that there is even an inconvenience to ending the current arrangement, places a cost on ending that arrangement.
When the arrangement is with your Owner to develop your slavery, you have killed the chance of becoming slave when you don't have the freedom to honestly express, to pursue other alternatives, or to go back to where you were before you began your development.

The decision has to have been made after you have determined that you are fully egotistically developed. You must know that you can be financially independent, can support yourself without anyone else's help. You have to have experienced putting together successful relationships. You need to know that you can maintain your relationships with and responsibilities to your genetic family. You have to be in the best health that you can be, and know that you can maintain your health. You have to have control of your life, your profession, your social needs and be able to maintain healthy friendships. Until you have it all, you don't have it to give away.

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/23/2007 11:29:48 PM

Estring

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

Here is an interesting qoute(s) from "born slave"(the website)

If you want to be slave, plan on maintaining a separate household from the Owner. Once slave, then you will live where you are supposed to live. Your egotistic plans to put together the relationship that you can clearly identify as being a good one for you has nothing to do with your becoming slave. Get clear, do you want to become slave, or spend you time trying to implement your expectation of what a Master/slave relationship should be for you? But, don't try to do both, and don't delude yourself into thinking that you can.

When you have become financially dependent, co-dependent, or even inter-twined, you have lost the independence necessary to feel the required level of honesty. Being connected in a way that there is even an inconvenience to ending the current arrangement, places a cost on ending that arrangement.
When the arrangement is with your Owner to develop your slavery, you have killed the chance of becoming slave when you don't have the freedom to honestly express, to pursue other alternatives, or to go back to where you were before you began your development.

The decision has to have been made after you have determined that you are fully egotistically developed. You must know that you can be financially independent, can support yourself without anyone else's help. You have to have experienced putting together successful relationships. You need to know that you can maintain your relationships with and responsibilities to your genetic family. You have to be in the best health that you can be, and know that you can maintain your health. You have to have control of your life, your profession, your social needs and be able to maintain healthy friendships. Until you have it all, you don't have it to give away.

In other words, have your act together before you become a slave. Probably good advice that isn't followed much. Should apply to Doms as well.

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/24/2007 9:46:03 AM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Ok, you are a Domme. Imagine this scenario: You're rich, filthy and ridiculously rich... and you happen to know of Teh Pefrectt Slave Auction where you can buy yourself some STUDS that will go all night, have a perfect and adorable bodies, are utterly submissive to your will but have this quirky and playful attitude that just makes your mouth water. Both of your mouths water. And are unique with personal quirks, but all manageable ones. There's no social pressure to keep you from keeping as many of these studs as you have hours in the day. The only thing is that they don't have a job and you'd have to room them and feed them. AND YOU THINK MOST DOMMES WOULDN'T LOVE THAT? The only thing that prevents them from enjoying that scenario is that they just haven't got the economics to manage it.

I love envisioning that scenario. In fact, I act on it, in an abstract way, quite often (minus the filthy rich part, but I am working on it!). I am doing it right now as I seduce and prey (in the BEST possible way) on men that cannot afford their own toys or find their way into kink; I love being the one who has the money and power, and basically molding these hot men into what I consider ideal playmates, whether it be via phone/net or eventually real time. I control the money and the power.

Since I am the one that works in my household, I also have that power over my husband; however, I don't really use that dynamic that much in our sexuality. But of course, it's there. And it's the situation I dreamed of. You better believe that is there were HOT PRO MALE SUBS I would be a HUGE customer. As it is, I still spend quite a bit of money on cam sites that feature model-good-looking men with perfect bodies - of coures, these sites cater to gay men, but there are women, like me, that go there.

One of the big motivating factors when I started my career path was that I wanted to make enough money to have power over men, if I chose. Now my career has really started to pay off in the last few years, allowing me to have a stay at home victim (I mean husband) in addition to a few boytoys on the side that I can spoil. The great thing is that because my career has nothing to do with kink, I have all the energy in the world,. from a femdom POV, to remain relentlessly kinky on a regular basis and never suffer from burn out.

Of course, because I just decided to start doing phone domination for 4 - 6 hours a week (thanks for the plug, you know who!), some shortsighted submissive men think I am less legitimate as a femdom. Fortunately, my (non kinky) clients don't see me as a dominatrix, and my new kinky friends who are happy to gift me for the time they share my passion are nothing but thrilled. If anything, I get more people asking me why I don't dominate for a living. Good lord, why would I ever want to give up a fantastic career and potentially burn out on one of the most lustful aspects of my character? I have tremendous respect for women who can dominate for a living, becuase I think it requires endless amounts of energy that I don't have. My kinky urges come in waves of intensity, and if I am on a low, there's no way I would be able to pull of a day of work in a dungeon.

Akasha

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RE: Difference between male and female dominance - 11/24/2007 11:54:55 AM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Ok, you are a Domme. Imagine this scenario: You're rich, filthy and ridiculously rich... and you happen to know of Teh Pefrectt Slave Auction where you can buy yourself some STUDS that will go all night, have a perfect and adorable bodies, are utterly submissive to your will but have this quirky and playful attitude that just makes your mouth water. Both of your mouths water. And are unique with personal quirks, but all manageable ones. There's no social pressure to keep you from keeping as many of these studs as you have hours in the day. The only thing is that they don't have a job and you'd have to room them and feed them. AND YOU THINK MOST DOMMES WOULDN'T LOVE THAT? The only thing that prevents them from enjoying that scenario is that they just haven't got the economics to manage it.

SIGN ME UP!!!

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