RE: Mastery vs Surrender

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RE: Mastery vs Surrender - 8/26/2007 10:47:20 AM

happypervert

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quote:

Not that every master would lose their slave in the way that mine did- it certainly wasn’t the only reason our relationship ended. But yes, I do think he knew it would happen, and I think he accepted his shadetree growing into something he would not be able to sit under a long time before I even figured out what was going on.

The shade tree analogy puts a romanticized spin on it, I think. Another way to look at it is as being practical, enlightened self-interest -- if you can foresee that someone is going to grow beyond what the relationship can provide, then opening the door and nudging them in that direction makes far more sense than wasting time and effort by trying to cling on until there is a dramatic break-up.

In these cases the end may even be foreseeable when the relationship starts, so the objective can be to merely enjoy it while it lasts and so the door is ajar throughout even if it isn't open all the way until the relationships gets about as far as it could. Perhaps a kinght in shining armor might see it as a selfless act to help the submissive grow into what she was meant to become (or whatever other corny description you like for it), but it could easily be seen as being selfish because the dominant wouldn't do it without some payoff too.

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RE: Mastery vs Surrender - 8/26/2007 11:14:08 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

I need a committed relationship if I'm to trust. Being lent out would make me feel devalued, unimportant, unloved.

*nods*....yep....this is my sentiments exactly....

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RE: Mastery vs Surrender - 8/26/2007 11:38:01 AM

LATEXBABY64

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i found this site that i love and support it gets into the meat of what a lot of us talk about.. more the science of the human condition of character and personality traits check it out. after all understanding how the mind works is a better path then trying to argue with people what type of cup of tea they are. people change flavors anyway at the drop of a hat these days

http://www.wilderdom.com/personality/personality.html

Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing."
-- Abraham Lincoln

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RE: Mastery vs Surrender - 8/26/2007 3:40:30 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
I've noticed in the past that when we get into the concept of "surrender", your opinion seems to be that is a violation of someone's sense of self.

Not sure what you mean here, can you elaborate?

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RE: Mastery vs Surrender - 8/26/2007 3:43:49 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

Maybe I am viewing this a bit simplistically, and let me know if I am..however..Do you think that ,since I am sure you were rather young at the time..that he knew that of course as you grew and understood, that eventually you would leave the nest so to speak..but I wonder if he would of done so if you his submissive/slave were his age..or even if say you two got together when you were in your 40's?..then do you think he would of felt that he could no longer dwell under your shade for long?.....Tempting

I dunno, I was 24. It was about 3.5 years ago that we met and committed to eachother, it lasted only about a year and a half.

Now I'm 27.5.

I think knowing him, and what he told me of himself, my own age wasn't much of a matter. He's the type who likes the process and I know there were a few other shade trees before I came along as well.

He also had a decades old primary in his life as well, so that stability for him was taken care of and not what his slaves were expected to provide. Perhaps that made a big difference as well.

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RE: Mastery vs Surrender - 8/26/2007 3:44:56 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Thanks for everyone's feedback. As always with threads you never know what you will get back and usually it's stuff you never even considered before. I am very grateful to you.

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RE: Mastery vs Surrender - 8/26/2007 4:01:24 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Now I'm 27.5.

God, I just love the young'uns....Look (tickles LA) she's just 330 months old but can suck cock damn near like a thirty year old.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 8/26/2007 4:07:53 PM >

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