RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (Full Version)

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ShiftedJewel -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 5:19:06 AM)

quote:

Young subs definitely have the edge. Their bodies are young and hard. They don't have extra skin or stretch marks from childbirth. They can wear bikinis and actually look good in them. From what I've seen, many Doms seek subs years younger than themselves. Doms in their 20's often go for the 18 yr olds while subs in their early to mid 30's attract the interest of Doms in their 40's, 50's and 60's. If an 18 year old sub showed interest in a Dom in his 50's or 60's, she would have a much better chance than an older sub trying to win over a younger Dom.


quote:

Ill agree with defiant, young hard bodies and minds not jaded with baggage of failed relationships...sometimes a blanker slate is easier to work with  


Older doms go for younger female subs with hard bodies because it makes them look good, it has little to nothing to do with their "maturity". Hell, I wouldn't mind being seen walking into a play party with some young hot stud myself... but I most likely wouldn't take him home with me. Beyond the physical I want someone I can talk too as well. I don't want a "blanker slate", I've raised my kids and I'm done with that part of my life. I want someone that's been there and done that, they understand moving slow in the morning while your body works out the kinks and sore joints, they can identify with a few gray hairs and how awesome it is to take a nap on the weekends.
 
Age has everything to do with maturity. Granted, I've known some fairly young people that damned mature... but you still got that "wild pony" attitude often enough to know they still had a long way to go. Maturity, IMNSHO, is life experiences and what we take away from those experiences. And I'm sorry, but only time lends to those things. At 21 you feel like you have experienced the world and there is nothing left it can teach you. At 50, after the world has beat on you for the last 30 years you understand how wrong you were. And I think that's it in a nut shell... When you are young you believe you have the world by the balls... it eventually proves you wrong, that's where maturity comes from. When you learn to stop fighting windmills and learn to chose your battles wisely and celebrate your victories quietly.
 
Jewel




defiantbadgirl -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 5:41:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepWaters

Ill agree with defiant, young hard bodies and minds not jaded with baggage of failed relationships...sometimes a blanker slate is easier to work with


The all famous "baggage" comment.  How many failed relationships have you been in? Of course men having baggage is perfectly acceptable. For example, picture a hardworking loyal husband with a wife and two kids. His wife decides to leave him for another man just for the thrill of something new. He loses his house so he has to pay both rent and $1000/ month in child support. Although this is just an example I'm using, in reality it happens all the time. Should that man have to spend the rest of his life alone because his now ex wife screwed him over? I'm sure you wouldn't view it as baggage if it happened to a man. Luckily for men, most women are compassionate and don't turn them down because they have been through a few failed relationships.




PeggyO -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 5:48:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Young subs definitely have the edge. Their bodies are young and hard. They don't have extra skin or stretch marks from childbirth. They can wear bikinis and actually look good in them. From what I've seen, many Doms seek subs years younger than themselves. Doms in their 20's often go for the 18 yr olds while subs in their early to mid 30's attract the interest of Doms in their 40's, 50's and 60's. If an 18 year old sub showed interest in a Dom in his 50's or 60's, she would have a much better chance than an older sub trying to win over a younger Dom.


Hello,

I think it depends on how one takes care of oneself.  I am 47 years old and have no issues wearing a bikini because I am athletic, very fit, work out a lot and can wear one and know that I look good.  I look around at the people who are 10 or even 20 years my junior and look better than a lot of them.  In terms of pure "eye candy" factor, I do better than a lot of the younger ones because I'm in better shape than they are.

When the body condition playing field is leveled (or in many cases I've seen, has been tipped to my advantage) I fare better than the younger submissives because I bring maturity, experience and the ability to converse on the same level as the dominant. 

You can build a short term relationship on physical desire alone, but in the long run you need to have something to talk to the person about.  Someone who is close to your age and life experience will offer that more easily.

I personally am not interested in someone significantly younger than me.  I have only met one person who was in his 20's whose maturity level made him at all interesting.  I am also not drawn to novices in the lifestyle.  For what I like to do and how I like to play it's just frustrating.

But your mileage may vary.

Peggy




bandit25 -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 5:52:19 AM)

Exactly how I feel Peggy.  And before anyone starts with the "not everyone can be thin" or whatever....that's true, but not everyone wants someone thin.  But, we can all do our best to be as healthy as we can be.  A person who does his or her best to be in the best possible health and their best possible shape has a certain confidence that attracts others....no matter what your age.




Bobkgin -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 5:58:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepWaters

Ill agree with defiant, young hard bodies and minds not jaded with baggage of failed relationships...sometimes a blanker slate is easier to work with


The all famous "baggage" comment.  How many failed relationships have you been in? Of course men having baggage is perfectly acceptable. For example, picture a hardworking loyal husband with a wife and two kids. His wife decides to leave him for another man just for the thrill of something new. He loses his house so he has to pay both rent and $1000/ month in child support. Although this is just an example I'm using, in reality it happens all the time. Should that man have to spend the rest of his life alone because his now ex wife screwed him over? I'm sure you wouldn't view it as baggage if it happened to a man. Luckily for men, most women are compassionate and don't turn them down because they have been through a few failed relationships.


That's not how I'd define "baggage".

For me, "baggage" means I'm expected to pay for what others have done.

For example, a woman makes a few bad choices regarding partners, grows a thicker skin and becomes far less trusting of others, and then I'm expected to pierce all that to win her heart.

Since I had nothing to do with her previous errors, or the pain she was caused, why do I deserve less than the same chance she gave the first man?

I'm in perfect agreement with those who believe she has good reason to treat the first man that way, after all, he was the one to hurt her.

But to make every man pay for the crime of the first man ... that's baggage.




DianeB269 -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 6:00:19 AM)

I will always look at the older sub first.


Diane




Aine -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 6:00:48 AM)

Self awareness and wisdom come from how involved in life people are.  How involved and invested they are in the things around them.  Awareness and wisdom come to those who are open, and receiving of everything around them, and don't close themselves off because of things not going how they wanted them to.

Those that learn from their experiences and take those things to heart and change what they can, and don't worry about that which they can't are the ones that have a hand up on others.

People who close themselves off are people who sit and whine about the shit that happens to them rather than doing something about it.  People who aren't open to the things around them, the ones that abhorr change, who are so stuck in their ways that they shut out everyone that could be good in their lives.

It doesn't matter how old a person is, because if they are the latter, they don't have shit on the ones that DO something in their lives.  I don't care what you do for work.  I don't care what schools you have gone to.  I care what is in your heart, the things you've learned, things that could be imparted to me as a tidbit of advice, a new perspective, something different to ponder.  I care what you think, the why of things, what makes your heart sing, and your soul soar.  These are the things that make us who we are, and show us to be eager and interested in the things around us and what we could learn that we might not know already. 

If someone has memorized a book, does it mean they understand it?

Understanding and the pursuit of, is what is important to me.




defiantbadgirl -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 6:02:45 AM)

Actually, exercise can have little to do with it when it comes to pregnancy. I was very physically fit before I became pregnant. My problem was too much amniotic fluid, which had nothing to do with how much I ate or exercised. I didn't let my body go until after I learned that no matter how much I exercise, that skin will never go away. My only option is surgery, which will leave a long, ugly, noticible scar.




Bobkgin -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 6:07:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

Young subs definitely have the edge. Their bodies are young and hard. They don't have extra skin or stretch marks from childbirth. They can wear bikinis and actually look good in them. From what I've seen, many Doms seek subs years younger than themselves. Doms in their 20's often go for the 18 yr olds while subs in their early to mid 30's attract the interest of Doms in their 40's, 50's and 60's. If an 18 year old sub showed interest in a Dom in his 50's or 60's, she would have a much better chance than an older sub trying to win over a younger Dom.


quote:

Ill agree with defiant, young hard bodies and minds not jaded with baggage of failed relationships...sometimes a blanker slate is easier to work with  


Older doms go for younger female subs with hard bodies because it makes them look good, it has little to nothing to do with their "maturity". Hell, I wouldn't mind being seen walking into a play party with some young hot stud myself... but I most likely wouldn't take him home with me. Beyond the physical I want someone I can talk too as well. I don't want a "blanker slate", I've raised my kids and I'm done with that part of my life. I want someone that's been there and done that, they understand moving slow in the morning while your body works out the kinks and sore joints, they can identify with a few gray hairs and how awesome it is to take a nap on the weekends.
 
Age has everything to do with maturity. Granted, I've known some fairly young people that damned mature... but you still got that "wild pony" attitude often enough to know they still had a long way to go. Maturity, IMNSHO, is life experiences and what we take away from those experiences. And I'm sorry, but only time lends to those things. At 21 you feel like you have experienced the world and there is nothing left it can teach you. At 50, after the world has beat on you for the last 30 years you understand how wrong you were. And I think that's it in a nut shell... When you are young you believe you have the world by the balls... it eventually proves you wrong, that's where maturity comes from. When you learn to stop fighting windmills and learn to chose your battles wisely and celebrate your victories quietly.
 
Jewel


By "you" you mean "me", right?

Because that's not a description of my life.




MirthyHart -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 6:13:14 AM)

quote:

As an older sub i have found that younger Doms prefer us to the younger ones.  Mainly it is because we know what we want, we value what we have, and appreciate a young hard body as well as an older man does. We are patient and willing to teach what they do not know and willing to learn what we do not know. We are steady, predictable and reliable. And, who says an older sub cannot look good walking into a play party????




MirthyHart -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 6:16:43 AM)

quote:

Aine... I love your attitude!!  Well said!!




Bobkgin -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 6:18:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

Self awareness and wisdom come from how involved in life people are.  How involved and invested they are in the things around them.  Awareness and wisdom come to those who are open, and receiving of everything around them, and don't close themselves off because of things not going how they wanted them to.

Those that learn from their experiences and take those things to heart and change what they can, and don't worry about that which they can't are the ones that have a hand up on others.

People who close themselves off are people who sit and whine about the shit that happens to them rather than doing something about it.  People who aren't open to the things around them, the ones that abhorr change, who are so stuck in their ways that they shut out everyone that could be good in their lives.

It doesn't matter how old a person is, because if they are the latter, they don't have shit on the ones that DO something in their lives.  I don't care what you do for work.  I don't care what schools you have gone to.  I care what is in your heart, the things you've learned, things that could be imparted to me as a tidbit of advice, a new perspective, something different to ponder.  I care what you think, the why of things, what makes your heart sing, and your soul soar.  These are the things that make us who we are, and show us to be eager and interested in the things around us and what we could learn that we might not know already. 

If someone has memorized a book, does it mean they understand it?

Understanding and the pursuit of, is what is important to me.



I wonder how you differentiate between selectivity and "shut out everyone that could be good in their lives".

Quite frankly, I don't have time to read every book in the library. There will be sections of it I never enter, due to lack of interest.

By the same token, I don't have time for everyone, especially bullies and their kin.

Perhaps they'd have dropped a nugget or two along the way, had I persisted. But life is short enough as it is without wasting it waiting for an unlikely miracle to happen.

I've found that no matter where I go, and no matter what I do, there is always something to be learned. That I choose a more pleasant path in no way hinders my ability to learn, it merely means I'm being more selective about what I learn and from whom I'll learn it.

Aside from this, I'm in agreement with you.




defiantbadgirl -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 6:21:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepWaters

Ill agree with defiant, young hard bodies and minds not jaded with baggage of failed relationships...sometimes a blanker slate is easier to work with


The all famous "baggage" comment.  How many failed relationships have you been in? Of course men having baggage is perfectly acceptable. For example, picture a hardworking loyal husband with a wife and two kids. His wife decides to leave him for another man just for the thrill of something new. He loses his house so he has to pay both rent and $1000/ month in child support. Although this is just an example I'm using, in reality it happens all the time. Should that man have to spend the rest of his life alone because his now ex wife screwed him over? I'm sure you wouldn't view it as baggage if it happened to a man. Luckily for men, most women are compassionate and don't turn them down because they have been through a few failed relationships.


That's not how I'd define "baggage".

For me, "baggage" means I'm expected to pay for what others have done.

For example, a woman makes a few bad choices regarding partners, grows a thicker skin and becomes far less trusting of others, and then I'm expected to pierce all that to win her heart.

Since I had nothing to do with her previous errors, or the pain she was caused, why do I deserve less than the same chance she gave the first man?

I'm in perfect agreement with those who believe she has good reason to treat the first man that way, after all, he was the one to hurt her.

But to make every man pay for the crime of the first man ... that's baggage.


If only more men thought that way. I never make one man pay for the crime of another. No man that has actually taken the time to get to know me has ever accused me of something like this because I don't do it. The men that do accuse me of having baggage are the ones that ASSUME I'm that way and don't stick around long enough to find out I'm not. I think it's probably the same for alot of other women too. I still stand by what I say. If a man has been hurt, he gets gets empathy from other men as well as potential partners. If a woman has been hurt, she is avoided.




Aine -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 6:31:34 AM)

Now, I didn't say one thing about selectivity.  [;)]

But that could coincide with what I had said about changing what we can and not worrying about what we can't.

Change who we associate with, if they are not good for us in the long run.  I'm all for having few good friends, over many acquaintances.  I've lived the life of many acquaintances, and not too long ago, either.  Now I live a quiet life of few good friends and am the happiest I've ever been.  And the most sane.  Yes, I've become more selective.  It's because it was something I could change. 

Now as for reading everything, and whatnot.  I never said anything of the sort either.  I am interested in what I am interested, but I'm always open to new things.  I am not always on a constant search for something new, I enjoy what I have around me at the time.  I savor things, while also hungering at times for something new and different, which I would venture to say is true for a lot of people.  No matter what it might be.  A new book, food, hobby, or activity within the lifestyle.

I'm not one that bullies ahead in my pursuit of understanding and discovery.  I go at a pace that suits me at any given time.




defiantbadgirl -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 6:52:24 AM)

I agree. People should accept what they can't change and work on what they can. All I'm saying is that many men are hypocrites when it comes to what they call "baggage." Once a man finds out a potential partner has been screwed over, he doesn't stick around long enough to find out whether or not the woman will take it out on him. He just assumes and runs. I wonder how these same men (who I'm sure have been in failed relationships themselves) would feel if women started doing that to them. Because of this hypocracy, as well as their perfect bodies, younger subs will always have the advantage.




Mystique567 -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 7:38:59 AM)

Did anyone tell anyone on here that being young does not guarentee a perfect body? That being said, as an "Older" woman (to me age is relative) I am often hit on by younger Doms. They say they are looking for a certain maturity they can't get in women their own age. They are not looking at stretch marks, or extra weight or whatever, they are looking for someone that is a bit more mature.

I also feel that you do older Doms a great disservice lumping them all into the older Doms wanting younger subs catagory, I have met plenty of mature Doms who are not looking for subs younger than they are.

I do though think it depends on the person and the mental state they are in.




TankII7871 -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 7:47:11 AM)

As a general rule I dont mess with subs younger than myself.  I perfer a girl to be older than me for several reasons.  Less game playing, more sure of herself the few times I have had girls that were younger than me it ended badly.

Eric




AquaticSub -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 8:08:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Actually, exercise can have little to do with it when it comes to pregnancy. I was very physically fit before I became pregnant. My problem was too much amniotic fluid, which had nothing to do with how much I ate or exercised. I didn't let my body go until after I learned that no matter how much I exercise, that skin will never go away. My only option is surgery, which will leave a long, ugly, noticible scar.


And I'm 22 and about to end up with huge ancher shaped scars on both breasts that may or may not fade.

Scars, surgery and body "distorting" experiences are not soley the relm of the older woman.




sexyred1 -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 8:13:28 AM)

Those who keep saying that a blank slate is easier to work with.....it actually says a lot about you and your ability to connect with a variety of people. I myself, do not want a blank slate...I relate better to those who have actually lived a mulifaceted life and to a man who sees a woman of age as fine wine, something to be savored.




cuddleheart50 -> RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? (8/26/2007 8:20:12 AM)

Older subs have the edge.  [;)]




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