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RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/26/2007 10:37:08 PM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

Both young and old have advantages and disadvantages.  I long for the day when no one feels the need to  compare or compete.  Why should there have to be any _____vs ______ .


Ah.  Thank you, very much! 

Tonight, if I can go to the hottest rock concert or the most fabulous performance of classical music,

if I can dine at the finest East Indian restaurant or have a perfectly prepared bouillabaisse

if I can choose pink or red

what will I do?

Whatever I want.  Why?  Because.

How can you seriously suggest that one is "better" than the other, when it's all subjective? 

I prefer one and someone else prefers the other and someone else wants them both...

well, there's an idea...

(in reply to spankmepink11)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/27/2007 7:40:56 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

At what age do people become self-actualized?




42?

DeepThoughtergy

p.s.  Waiting for the universe to be immediately replaced with something more bizarre.

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/27/2007 8:29:52 AM   
Sirandpet10


Posts: 84
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with most of everyone else: it is not about age so much as it is about self-awareness. Like another said, a 50 year old may have just discovered her submissive tendancies while another 35 year old may have had the discovery a decade before.

twink

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Sir and pet----
------------------------------------------------------
"Your needs dovetail perfectly with each other: the one for total control, the other for absolute submission."

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/27/2007 10:22:42 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge?


Depending on goal and/or preference: 
  1. The one who gives the best oral.
  2. The one with the biggest breasts/penis (Gender specific or both for trans-gender seekers and/or hermaphrodites)
  3. The one with the most money.
  4. The one with fewer limits.
  5. Whichever one is nearby.

PS  - How upset would you be and what happens if you become "self actualized" and "actualize" yourself to be a complete asshole?

(in reply to Sirandpet10)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/27/2007 10:59:43 AM   
submittous


Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

- How upset would you be and what happens if you become "self actualized" and "actualize" yourself to be a complete asshole?


Actually I hate it when that happens.....



_____________________________

"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/27/2007 11:14:42 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		Fastreply:

I think both have an edge in certain ways.  As some have said, younger subs have the advantage of hard bodies, no children, less baggage, etc. while older subs have the advantage of more experience, more self awareness (compared to themselves at a younger age, not compared to younger people in general), and a sense of having their life/career in order so it doesn't distract from relationships.  Of course these are all generalizations but the question itself was asking for generalizations, so those are mine :P

Put it like this...I'm 24...a 40 year old woman might envy me because I have no kids, no divorce, and a young body, but I probably envy her for the sense of stability she could bring to a relationship, and the fact that she could date a hot 45 year old without some insane culture gap and feeling like she's dating her father's friends :P

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/27/2007 11:31:05 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMarque

Ah.  Thank you, very much! 

Tonight, if I can go to the hottest rock concert or the most fabulous performance of classical music,

if I can dine at the finest East Indian restaurant or have a perfectly prepared bouillabaisse

if I can choose pink or red

what will I do?

Whatever I want.  Why?  Because.

How can you seriously suggest that one is "better" than the other, when it's all subjective? 

I prefer one and someone else prefers the other and someone else wants them both...

well, there's an idea...


Brilliant post.  Seriously.  This explains it so concisely, and so eloquently. 

(in reply to MadameMarque)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/27/2007 12:33:24 PM   
DeepWaters


Posts: 118
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline
about 36 hours ago I took a break from studying and with mind numb made an untactful comment that was a spur off the original threads purpose--  Since many of you who have took issue with me have much more time to spend on these boards, I leave them to you for the next couple months...the outside world is demanding enough.

but to respond to a few digs sent my way...

Bandit25
--Am I attracted to older women who have kept themselves in shape over younger ones who haven’t?--you bet :)  a physically beautiful woman with a toned body is beautiful irregardless of her age but what I find most desirable is the mindset that says she likes self improvement--my guess is such a woman probably also eats healthy and abstains/or moderates things that are harmful to her health, (booze tobacco drugs etc) and she also probably enjoys increasing her knowledge of the world...all things I find extremely attractive in a woman.

That being said, my prom date from highschool was 50 lbs heavier 2 inches taller and by her own admission should have been chasing parked cars...but she had an absolute heart of gold and that’s why I was with her.--looks aren’t everything, we like who we like for a number of reasons...the last couple of years I’ve noticed I’m most physically attracted to petite fit brunettes --I could be with someone who didn’t match that description but if one walks by while I’m with another girl who doesn’t match that description Im still going to be attracted/look at/think about the looker, and that’s not being true to the girl I’m with...by dating someone who is already my physical type I avoid the conflict.

I applaud your ability to leave your baggage behind with the relationship ..you’re obviously not in the older neurotic sub camp I was talking about.

ShiftedJewel
--Age correlates less with maturity as one gets older, maturity has to do with experiencing life...someone who has been through a lot, and has had to come up through the school of hard knocks is going to be more mature than someone who has been doing the same thing and letting life just happen to the them for the last 30-50 years, 


Defiantbadgirl
--first off lets define failed relationship-- my definition is when you can no longer talk to your ex at all --in my case that would be precisely once (and since you’re getting personal why don’t you share your number of failed relationships as well)--just because you part ways doesn't mean it failed...I’ve been in a number of D/s and kinky relationships that ended mostly because we discovered we were growing in different directions or wanted different things...in each case learning and self discovery occurred and Id call that a successful relationship. 

and taking a page out of Bobkgin's book "baggage" is when I have to pay for the damage that others have done to reach her heart...sure you say but she could be a really great person and a great mate if you just invested enough time and patience in her that she could trust you and know that you’re not like all the other men who have hurt her in the past...

to that I'll borrow an expression from grandma--"put on a happy face, know one wants to hear about your problems". ---with a million fish in the sea, do you think anyone male or female is going to pick someone who has unresolved issues over someone who has already resolved them?   ---how many successful "emo" dominants do you know?  oh and inferring I’m a hypocrite is rather low, hypocrites do one thing and say another...I’ve never broken a promise and what I believe, I actually live.

Sexyred1
--I’ve got no problem connecting with a variety of people on different facets, (even those with diametrically opposed viewpoints like female supremacists), but I connect to them as friends and as equals, we can always agree to disagree, and that suits me just fine, I certainly wouldn't want to come home to one though...  There are two ways to get what I want in a girl for a TPE relationship...I can find exactly what I’m looking for or I can make it...since behavioral conditioning and biases build up with time it is usually more effort to get rid of the old training/acculturation
"the blanker slate" comment has to do with getting someone without this prior training that may or may not need to be removed.

Cyntilating
""and when you say  " easier to work with "  .....for some reason > I read " easier to control"   "less of her own mind and so less work for you " ?? "" 

--correct as distasteful as it may sound to you, D/s is about control (at least one aspect), you can train a persons mind to enjoy just about any activity, a sub who had a bad experience with anal sex, is going to be biased against it and tighten up in fear because the first idiot who tried forgot the astroglide...where as someone who has no bias or experience either way can be "talked up" into thinking about it and then desiring it for her own pleasure.


and lastly to slavegirljoy

I’m just going to quote the whole damn thing----because its perfect



quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy
As far as knowing what i want in a Dom/Master, that has never changed for me.  i want the exact same thing today, at age 51, as i wanted in men i was involved with intimately when i was 21.  i want to serve an honest man, who is sadistic, with integrity and self-confidence and decisiveness and humor and intelligence and a love of nature and the outdoors, and etc., etc. As far as having confidence in who i am?  i have definitely improved over the years.  The insecurity i felt when i was 21 and even when i was 41 has all but disappeared.  It's not that i feel like i am a better person now than i was back then or that i have any more skills or such things.  It's just that i have come to accept myself for who i am.  i have stopped questioning myself about every little thing i do or think.  i enjoy myself and who i am and how i live my life and i don't worry about whether what i am doing is "right" or "wrong" or whether or not i am "sick" for enjoying what i enjoy.  i simply enjoy it.  Not questioning and not judging myself is very freeing. Experience?  i have much more now than i had even a year ago.  Each new day brings me more experience and i welcome it all with open arms and an open mind. slave joyOwned property of Master David "Commitment transforms a promise into a reality." 
quote:


---NOW THAT IS SEXY AT ANY AGE---. ;)



(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/27/2007 6:25:44 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepWaters


Defiantbadgirl
--first off lets define failed relationship-- my definition is when you can no longer talk to your ex at all --in my case that would be precisely once (and since you’re getting personal why don’t you share your number of failed relationships as well)--just because you part ways doesn't mean it failed...I’ve been in a number of D/s and kinky relationships that ended mostly because we discovered we were growing in different directions or wanted different things...in each case learning and self discovery occurred and Id call that a successful relationship. 

and taking a page out of Bobkgin's book "baggage" is when I have to pay for the damage that others have done to reach her heart...sure you say but she could be a really great person and a great mate if you just invested enough time and patience in her that she could trust you and know that you’re not like all the other men who have hurt her in the past...

to that I'll borrow an expression from grandma--"put on a happy face, know one wants to hear about your problems". ---with a million fish in the sea, do you think anyone male or female is going to pick someone who has unresolved issues over someone who has already resolved them?   ---how many successful "emo" dominants do you know?  oh and inferring I’m a hypocrite is rather low, hypocrites do one thing and say another...I’ve never broken a promise and what I believe, I actually live.



The number of failed relationships one has had is irrevelant. A person who has only suffered through one failed relationship can take it out on every new person he or she meets. Another person may have been through several failed relationships and not take any of it out on new prospective partners at all. I use the term hypocrite to refer to people who are always pointing out anything that they see as baggage against others when they themselves have what they consider baggage on others. I seriously doubt that every man who runs from what they call baggage has only been in one relationship that didn't work out. For someone to assume that a prospective partner is going to take out past relationships on them and refuse to even get to know them is cruel. What if you married a woman and had unmentionables with her and all of a sudden she wanted something new and left you for another man? How would you feel if women turned you down because of this assuming you would take it out on them and refused to even get to know you? What if you had a sister who's boyfriend suddenly became non conseuntually abusive and she left him thinking there were better men out there, only to be turned down by one man after another because they said she had baggage? Would you think that was right? I'm just giving you a couple of examples.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to DeepWaters)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/27/2007 8:50:40 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		that is true after something does not work i take time to do a cleansing some you get over some you do not but you put them in in the past.. there are no two people the same w hile everyone may have done every kink in the world or been with twenty dozen partners just have pride in your self and who you are.. somes i just want to drop the acme anvil on people caues they always have to step on the roses... not smell  them or look at them shame

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/27/2007 9:07:05 PM   
DeepWaters


Posts: 118
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		Defiant ---it boils down to freedom of choice --whatever a persons history, they have a choice to let it effect them or to look at each new relationship with fresh eyes and an open heart...that being said...my hard limits are dishonesty and a lack of integrity....why cause Ive got burned once already thank you very much.

--and I highly doubt that if I connected with someone on a deep level Id run from a little baggage or even a lot...but straight up from a guys perspective...a girl opens up on us about how horrible her ex was to her before the appetizer arrives on the first date---and we know this one still needs closure before she can hope to move on with her own life -- there are guys who like to play savior and enjoy helping her despite that fact shes still reliving and regretting her "last guy" mistake... but personally Id rather be with someone who has picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and is enjoying life enough to be themselves --if shes got trust issues and needs to have a heart to heart about "baggage" then by all means its a good thing because it helps you become closer as a couple....but you have to be on the road to couplehood before that happens...meeting a stranger for coffee the first time and having her talk; NOT about herself, her hopes, her dreams, and her passions in life, but go on and on about how life has handed her lemons when it comes to past guys doesn't make us men want to have a second date.
Im sure the reverse holds true for women who meet a whiney guy and decide to not return his phone calls later on.

but as to your example--sis decide to marry a schmuck, and Ive got a nephew being raised by a single mom, and yeah amoung other things he was abusive--Ive offered several times to have him dissappeared---youve got kids thats baggage in the litteral sense because now the relationship is more than just the two of you, and yes Ive dated a single mom or two...lol I usually get along better with the kids than I do with the mother, both times the women decided I wasn't their type(that would be D/s vs vanilla) and it ended amicably--as for sis I dont think she dates much but when she does go on dates Im sure she focuses more on getting to know the man and having a good time that evening...than on regaling the new beau with the ups and downs of court battles with the ex ---again it boils down to personal choice...dont air the dirty laundry on the 1st date if you dont have to.





(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/28/2007 5:17:16 AM   
ddthrill


Posts: 45
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: ddthrill

defiantbadgirl - I saw your post and thought you were maybe 18.
Then I checked your ad page.

You are young?

34 isnt that young. Are you really 34?


What an incredibly rude comment to make to someone. 34 is certainly not old


I am sorry. By her picture here I thought she was really, really young like 18 or 21. 34 is not old. I'm 26, so i'm old too then. I am sorry for being unclear.

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/28/2007 5:21:31 AM   
ddthrill


Posts: 45
Status: offline 		OH NO! I am again so sorry!

I saw your picture with your underpants down . I don't know, just was surprised when you said 34.
You are not old. LOL.

very sorry
happiness for you and more
Falcons dd

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/28/2007 5:28:48 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ddthrill

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: ddthrill

defiantbadgirl - I saw your post and thought you were maybe 18.
Then I checked your ad page.

You are young?

34 isnt that young. Are you really 34?


What an incredibly rude comment to make to someone. 34 is certainly not old


I am sorry. By her picture here I thought she was really, really young like 18 or 21. 34 is not old. I'm 26, so i'm old too then. I am sorry for being unclear.


The picture you see DBG use on the fora is her avatar and not a picture of her. She shows a real picture of herself on her profile but does not use it here (which is the same with me).

(in reply to ddthrill)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/28/2007 5:40:33 AM   
ddthrill


Posts: 45
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

How nice can you really be if you lead men on just for drinks? Your friends are just being more honest about it. When a man asks to buy me a drink I tell them very clearly, "If you want to enjoy it with me as friends, sure, but I'm very taken and I'm not going home with you tonight." Sometimes they just want someone to talk to and I've had some great conversations that way.


I apologize to anyone. Please give me a chance. I know I can learn to write better.

I do not think it is right what they do. I do laugh sometimes, not that it is nice I know it.  But, I always tell the girls it is mean and stop doing it.

Now I have been found by Falcon, I hardly go to bars anyway. 
I don't drink much and one drink will not break a man like that. I stay and talk and I am not the one who promises anything at all. I try and compliment, make conversation to the man and those men are allright with being friendly.

Those girls I know range in age betewwn 21 and 28. I think they are immature and can't even see how a man could like the crap they pull. really, I do not do much at all. If I was so bad, why would I write it?

I said it wrong. I meant more mature is better. I am sorry to everyone.
Falcon did correct this slave when he read what I wrote and it still hurts. But he is right and so are you.


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/28/2007 5:52:32 AM   
ddthrill


Posts: 45
Status: offline 		Thank you susie. I did find that out but thanks for being nice and teliing me anyhow.  I clicked your real picture and I think you are very pretty.

I think I did say way back that alot of more mature slaves are best.
Is it Ok if I say 40+ or something is mature? I don't mean that is old, for heavens sake. So many women have style and are super hot over 30. I work with a woman who is 47. She is drop dead gorgeous, nice, smart and more. She says she is happier, kinder, has more self confidence and guys who are 22 ( I know them) would die to get near her.

thank you all

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/28/2007 8:35:45 AM   
SirEbonyPhoenix


Posts: 195
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: My realm in Central Indiana (you guess where :P)
Status: offline 		Now that may have been the best answer to this question! Lol

_____________________________

"If it takes one to know one, then you must be one."

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Profile   Post #: 137
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/28/2007 8:49:43 AM   
atendersoul


Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		In reading most of the replies here, age does not have the major factor as much as what the One is looking for....
younger in some cases to breed and carry on His line.....
older because of their experience level, knowledge and most are more settle, not as flightly as younger nor as demanding

(in reply to SirEbonyPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/28/2007 6:04:21 PM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		Fast Reply to no one in particular.

Hows about the idea that you get ALL types of ALL ages.

I've seen little shits with bad attitudes ranging from toddler to grandmother and beyond.

I've seen amazingly centered, calm and undemanding people from the age of 10 to 100.

I will say again, age has NOTHING to do with maturity as the end all be all. IMHO


< Message edited by Aine -- 8/28/2007 6:05:28 PM >

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: Younger subs vs. older subs:Who has the edge? - 8/29/2007 5:38:36 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		For you age that was a very mature answer Aine.

(in reply to Aine)
Profile   Post #: 140
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