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RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 7:12:17 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		He lied to her plain and simple.  I am sorry your friend was hurt.  When i met Master i was talking to others and i told him i was and he was talking to two others and told me so.  Of course after we met and decided we wanted to be together we stopped talking to others except as friends.  So i think it is best to be honest that way everybody know who is on what page.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to TheIslandofO)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 7:18:22 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		He lied.

He might have a million other great qualities but if he felt the need to lie that early, when there isn't even a relationship, I would be highly guarded and suspicious.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 7:20:46 AM   
kebby


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		i can relate, however, it is better that it happened before they met and were involved.  that is why one must be so careful on the internet, even, someone who claims to have "honor" can still be trying to "hook up" after they have collared a slave.  She is lucky, it could have been worse.  truly, it happened to me after being in his collar for 9 months.  i think of it as him needing a
back up unit" if it did not work out wiht me, which, lol, it didn't. 
so, maybe he was looking for a "back up unit"  just in case she did not work out, certainly not the best plan.

(in reply to TheIslandofO)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 7:56:42 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I agree- he lied and he's using the subs guilt over checking him out as a way to try and distract from that point.

However, the sub in this question obviously DOES have trust issues and needs to work on her sifting and judgement skills before continuing to try and get involved with potential doms.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to TheIslandofO)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 8:08:29 AM   
caught4u


Posts: 132
Joined: 5/25/2007
Status: offline 		doesn't matter if she checked up on him . she has every right to be curious if he is good to his word especially in a new relationship. trust is earned and she is lucky she found out early that he can't be trusted.  if this was an established relationship continually checking on him means that there is a lack of trust that should be addressed.  in that case it would be up to the people involved whether or not it can be worked through or not.

_____________________________

"Be Yourself - Everyone Else is Taken"


~owned by Master of Wind~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 11:32:51 AM   
MasterDennyslave


Posts: 16
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline


IMO, when a relationship is new, checking up on a potential sub/slave or master/mistress, is not distrust. It is just plain being smart. We would all like to think that we can take everyones word at face value, but such is not the case. I myself, as a slave like to know if who i'm talking to is also talking to anyone else. Just my 2 cents worth



(in reply to caught4u)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 3:30:17 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

.... Dose he have any honor?


I don't consider dishonesty to generally be an honorable characteristic
quote:


his he someone you would call a Master?

No, but there are exceedingly few that I would to be honest. I think, however, that dishonesty is a pretty nasty character flaw, and would question someone's proficiency to the point of "mastery" if they exhibited that failing....

But, meh. Master is in the eye of the beholder. To some it's a title, to some a descriptor, to others an honorific and I'm sure to others yet more and different connotations. The point of this thread isn't my babbling about semantics I don't think, so I'll stop with my digression.
quote:


and is what he did lieing or just being Dominent?


A rose by any other name smells the same. He was dishonest, plain and simple. Not only was he dishonest, but he was indignant when he was caught, which I consider to be a character flaw. It's one thing to do something wrong, it's another (and worse, imo) to not be able to own up to your mistakes when confronted with them.


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 3:57:34 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		I find myself agreeing with LA... again.  The "dom" in question lied and that was wrong.  Your friend also has trust issues she needs to work on before considering any sort of serious relationship with anyone else.  That means she needs to spend some time learning to trust herself, trust her own judgement.

I'll add one more thing.  Anyone who thinks a "master" is automatically going to be honorable or keep their word is a damn fool.  That's blunt, but there it is.  Whether its "masters", "doms", "mistresses", "slaves" or your next door neighbor... people come with varying degrees of integrity and there's no easy label attached to let you know.  But there is one way that is pretty good for telling what is what.

For get words... because actions always speak louder.  Trust what they do, not what they say.  That's good advice for any submissive meeting dominants, and just as good for any dominant meeting a submissive.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 4:26:58 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Wolf,

The question we all want to know is whether playing Capt. Save a ho got you laid?  Did the chick dump the other dom once you showed her what a loser he is?  Did she "reward" you?

Who the fuck cares what idiots who are talking to one chick one minute and an hour later hitting on the next one,  or the women who care about such idiotic men.  Its like wringing your hands over high school dating and wondering if the relationships are emotionally deep enough or if their life goals match.  They kids aren't going to be together next month and neither are these nincompoops.

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 5:24:05 PM   
MstrSkyWoIf


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Simply Michael

Wolf,

The question we all want to know is whether playing Capt. Save a ho got you laid?  Did the chick dump the other Dom once you showed her what a loser he is?  Did she "reward" you?


Obviously like many here you are shallow minded enough to think this is about getting laid.. I am glad many have spoken from there hearts and not sarcasm. If I wanted laid I would go to a Bar LMFAO. Tell me do you have a life outside of CollarMe?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Simply Michael


Who the fuck cares what idiots who are talking to one chick one minute and an hour later hitting on the next one,  or the women who care about such idiotic men.  Its like wringing your hands over high school dating and wondering if the relationships are emotionally deep enough or if their life goals match.  They kids aren't going to be together next month and neither are these nincompoops.


If you don't care why are you here reading it?  This is a community board for discussion and questions. Why do you find it necessary to bash an OP or anyone for that matter. IF you don't like a question or post MOVE ON....


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 5:34:21 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		My life outside of collarme as it relates to bdsm consists of having organized BDSM groups, owned and run bdsm playspaces, run and organized bdsm events, now participating in starting a chapter of MAsT as well as participating in one of the larger BDSM communities in the world, the San Francisco Bay Area.

And you?

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 8:31:09 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

My life outside of collarme as it relates to bdsm consists of having organized BDSM groups, owned and run bdsm playspaces, run and organized bdsm events, now participating in starting a chapter of MAsT as well as participating in one of the larger BDSM communities in the world, the San Francisco Bay Area.

And you?


Surely the above doesn't comprise all of your life outside of CM as it relates to BDSM?  Aren't you  in a relationship too?

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 9:12:22 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP..of course he lied..if it quacks like a duck..etc..etc..and to top it off he tried to shift blame onto the submissive another red flag..a Dominant unwilling to accept responsibility for his actions, and a liar..especially as I see it..he had no reason for the lie..they were not into a relationship..no agreements had been made..yes, maybe he felt that if he told the truth that it would lose him a potential submissive..but that is the chance you take..the way this whole exchange started out, shows that it was doomed from conception...I am not sure I agree with what some of the other posters said about the sub having issues..she may have ..however in this scenerio..I simply saw it as a way to verify info given from other sources..she did not know this person fully and checked out his potential veracity..he failed...check!...Of course with that said..the sub in question should not be so threatened when a Dominant type is also talking with others,,he has the right ..just as she does...just be honest upon it...only when they go into negotiating mode to establish a monogamal or poly relation within a certain group, can they then have objections to one or the other or both, being in contact with others......Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 9:25:30 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrSkyWoIf

I know my answer to this question but would like a few opinions. Some one I care about very much was hurt today and this is what happened. 

you a sub/slave have a conversation with a potential Master he tells you he wants to meet. You ask him are you talking to anyone else at this time and he says NO. you tell him you have been hurt before and are trying to make sure he is being honest. 1 hr later you  find out he has contacted someone else you know on here and he is talking to her as a potential sub/slave. He then tries to make you feel like he did not lie at all and that you are the dishonest one because you would not have caught him if you had not been checking on him.

Here is my question.... Dose he have any honor? his he someone you would call a Master? and is what he did lieing or just being Dominent?

As soon as a few post I will give my opinion.


Obviously, given that he knowingly and deliberately made a false statement with the intent to deceive, he was lying.

Two questions...

What does anyone's self annointed titular status have to do with expecting or receiving honesty and integrity?

Why would someone expect a vow of cyber-fidelity from someone they've never met to be valid, realistic, or honored?

This sounds like expecting someone to sign a pre-nup before going out on a blind date.

< Message edited by Alumbrado -- 8/28/2007 9:26:06 PM >

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 9:43:00 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		He was dishonest.  But I'd question the emotional maturity and stability of any sub who would be upset in this situation, before ever meeting the person.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/28/2007 10:56:16 PM   
MstrSkyWoIf


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

He was dishonest.  But I'd question the emotional maturity and stability of any sub who would be upset in this situation, before ever meeting the person.


I am sure my lack of ability to communicate here has made this post misunderstood a little.

If I did not know her personally I might wonder about her emotional maturity, but that would be because of my post not the facts... Fact is she is one of the most stable intelligent woman I know. She was honestly and terribly lied to and toyed with here and did not deserve his childlike attitude or his projection of blame on her.

< Message edited by MstrSkyWoIf -- 8/28/2007 11:51:30 PM >

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/29/2007 12:01:40 AM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrSkyWoIf

I know my answer to this question but would like a few opinions. Some one I care about very much was hurt today and this is what happened. 

you a sub/slave have a conversation with a potential Master he tells you he wants to meet. You ask him are you talking to anyone else at this time and he says NO. you tell him you have been hurt before and are trying to make sure he is being honest. 1 hr later you  find out he has contacted someone else you know on here and he is talking to her as a potential sub/slave. He then tries to make you feel like he did not lie at all and that you are the dishonest one because you would not have caught him if you had not been checking on him.

Here is my question.... Dose he have any honor? his he someone you would call a Master? and is what he did lieing or just being Dominent?

As soon as a few post I will give my opinion.


He said "NO" when asked if he was talking to anyone else, so yes of course he was lieing cause in truth he was talking with someone else.

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to MstrSkyWoIf)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/29/2007 12:03:51 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Sometimes this "lifestyle" is so like high school all over again.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/29/2007 12:07:36 AM   
MstrSkyWoIf


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

Sometimes this "lifestyle" is so like high school all over again.


it is unfortunate that many of the participants act like they are in high school yes. Instead of supporting each other in an adult manor they lie like little kids trying to get there way

< Message edited by MstrSkyWoIf -- 8/29/2007 12:34:45 AM >

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: A Masters Word and Honor - 8/29/2007 12:30:42 AM   
MstrSkyWoIf


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

My life outside of collarme as it relates to bdsm consists of having organized BDSM groups, owned and run bdsm playspaces, run and organized bdsm events, now participating in starting a chapter of MAsT as well as participating in one of the larger BDSM communities in the world, the San Francisco Bay Area.

And you?


My work is not as important as yours..... I care for special needs children and adults.....

< Message edited by MstrSkyWoIf -- 8/29/2007 12:31:33 AM >

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 40
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