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ORIGINAL: MstrSkyWoIf

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ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

He was dishonest.  But I'd question the emotional maturity and stability of any sub who would be upset in this situation, before ever meeting the person.

I am sure my lack of ability to communicate here has made this post misunderstood a little.

If I did not know her personally I might wonder about her emotional maturity, but that would be because of my post not the facts... Fact is she is one of the most stable intelligent woman I know. She was honestly and terribly lied to and toyed with here and did not deserve his childlike attitude or his projection of blame on her.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I agree- he lied and he's using the subs guilt over checking him out as a way to try and distract from that point.

However, the sub in this question obviously DOES have trust issues and needs to work on her sifting and judgement skills before continuing to try and get involved with potential doms.

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ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I agree- he lied and he's using the subs guilt over checking him out as a way to try and distract from that point.

However, the sub in this question obviously DOES have trust issues and needs to work on her sifting and judgement skills before continuing to try and get involved with potential doms.

It never fails. Someone always has to call a woman on her "baggage." If she hadn't found out early on, she would be insulted for being too trusting.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

You must be enjoying your existance of always being the victim, because you never want to leave.

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ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Anyone who cannot be honest in little things will most likely be dishonest in the big things.

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ORIGINAL: slaveish

Omg, that absolutely makes me ill. I am usually a fairly level person, pretty calm, but nothing gets me angrier fast than someone (a "master" or "dom" in this instance) who hides his actions with lies, and THEN tries to play the guilt card by turning into HER problem. It's the mark of a user / abuser, or at the very least someone who cannot accept personal responsibility. My advice to the sub would be only one word:

NEXT!

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are the people around whom the most drama swirls.

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

As someone, unlike the OP who not only does this in real life but has actually run groups and playspaces, I have an observation.

Those who enter the scene with the preconception that:

dominants = savior  /  submissives = vulnerable

are the people around whom the most drama swirls.


Those who wander around playing mentor/savior/white knight are those who do the majority of victimizing and those who latch onto mentors/saviors/white knights as life preservers are the ones who most often end up victimized.

I think that my experience is based on knowing the heads of groups in several different cities and contact with hundreds and hundreds of people, many of whom are active in even more bdsm communities. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Simply Michael

As someone, unlike the OP who not only does this in real life but has actually run groups and playspaces, I have an observation.

Those who enter the scene with the preconception that:

dominants = savior  /  submissives = vulnerable

are the people around whom the most drama swirls.


Those who wander around playing mentor/savior/white knight are those who do the majority of victimizing and those who latch onto mentors/saviors/white knights as life preservers are the ones who most often end up victimized.

I think that my experience is based on knowing the heads of groups in several different cities and contact with hundreds and hundreds of people, many of whom are active in even more bdsm communities. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrSkyWoIf

quote:

ORIGINAL: Simply Michael

As someone, unlike the OP who not only does this in real life but has actually run groups and playspaces, I have an observation.

Those who enter the scene with the preconception that:

dominants = savior  /  submissives = vulnerable

are the people around whom the most drama swirls.


Those who wander around playing mentor/savior/white knight are those who do the majority of victimizing and those who latch onto mentors/saviors/white knights as life preservers are the ones who most often end up victimized.

I think that my experience is based on knowing the heads of groups in several different cities and contact with hundreds and hundreds of people, many of whom are active in even more bdsm communities. 

As the OP who YOU I would add do not know at all, yet judge with every post you make.. would agree with what you have placed in this post as an observation.

I would also add I do not judge others until I know them. You have in every post you make stereotyped Me and others  without knowing US how can anyone take what you say serious when you continue to judge others you do not know...We all need to learn however it is much easier to take what someone says serious when they are nut building ones self up by knocking others down. Not saying you are doing this but it dose come across that way. Just an observation.

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ORIGINAL: toservez

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrSkyWoIf

quote:

ORIGINAL: Simply Michael

As someone, unlike the OP who not only does this in real life but has actually run groups and playspaces, I have an observation.

Those who enter the scene with the preconception that:

dominants = savior  /  submissives = vulnerable

are the people around whom the most drama swirls.


Those who wander around playing mentor/savior/white knight are those who do the majority of victimizing and those who latch onto mentors/saviors/white knights as life preservers are the ones who most often end up victimized.

I think that my experience is based on knowing the heads of groups in several different cities and contact with hundreds and hundreds of people, many of whom are active in even more bdsm communities. 

As the OP who YOU I would add do not know at all, yet judge with every post you make.. would agree with what you have placed in this post as an observation.

I would also add I do not judge others until I know them. You have in every post you make stereotyped Me and others  without knowing US how can anyone take what you say serious when you continue to judge others you do not know...We all need to learn however it is much easier to take what someone says serious when they are nut building ones self up by knocking others down. Not saying you are doing this but it dose come across that way. Just an observation.

Everything you have written on here is judgment oriented. When people return the favor you seem to take exception. Writing in generaliztions with generic disclaimers does not make you rise above the others on here like you think it does.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck then people are going to judge it to be a duck. Other people’s perceptions are our realities. I am sorry but throwing out I am here just to be helpful as a general all purpose disclaimer does not get you automatic sainthood.

When everything you have started is phrased in a way that “new submissives” not just submissives and the three topics I know you have posted have all hit the stereotype topics of things such as a dominant’s word, age and experience trumpets newness and look out for those other dominants it paints a picture of a self serving person building themselves up by painting a picture of other dominants being lesser then your sweet self.

It may not be your intention at all but your tone and how you write and what you have chosen to write about is just a very familiar thing that we see both on message boards and local communities of a dominant treating submissive differently and as lesser then other people and using stereotyped pictures of bad dominants in a way to make them look like they are everywhere to scare newbies.

Instead of just refuting what people say why don't you post other topics and post to other people’s topics in a way that shows people you can treat other people as equals and not come off as looking like a person trying to portray themselves as a saint.

Edited last paragraph to fix the meaning

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I have never claimed to be any better then anyone else here...